Praise for Michelle Sutton
“From page one to the end, novelist Michelle Sutton captures readers’ attention and holds them spellbound! Letting Go is a gripping, beautifully-written story that will sometimes (literally!) leave you breathless. I’m adding this one to my ‘Keepers’ shelf . . . and going on a hunt for the rest of the Healing Hearts Series!”
—Loree Lough, author of 80 award-winning novels,
including From Ashes to Honor
“In Letting Go, Michelle Sutton has drawn from the well of human experience and crafted a powerful story of redemption, forgiveness and compassion. Sutton has a true gift for using fiction to examine the human condition in fine detail. More than a story about the battle to determine the fate of a child, it is a story about the journey from brokenness to wholeness. Her characters reflect our own very real search for meaning within circumstances that are sometimes painful, and God’s eternal desire to reclaim us as His own.”
—Thomas Smith, author of Something Stirs
Disclaimer: Information regarding foster care and adoption, and the author’s legal expertise, are derived solely from the author’s knowledge of child welfare, the mental health system, and her experiences in Arizona as a caseworker. Though the setting of this story is in Idaho, Arizona statutes are used for the purposes of this book. Certain issues pertaining to key plot elements require those rules of law. The author does not claim to be an expert in child welfare laws in Idaho, and the interpretation of rules of law are not based on Idaho’s statutes.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to former Arizona Attorney General Macre Inabinet, who passed away due to breast cancer on February 1, 2010. It was my pleasure and joy to work with you on behalf of Arizona’s abused and neglected children for so many years. See you on the other side.
Letting Go
Healing Hearts Series
(Book One)
Michelle Sutton
Chapter 1
A romantic song played in the background at the Coffee Grounds Café in Seattle, Washington. Standing in line at the counter, Diane Simmons smiled and listened to the lyrics, convinced the words were a sign. Things were finally turning around in her love life.
Preoccupied, she yanked her wallet from her Coach bag. Cash and credit cards skittered across the tile. She squatted and chased the items around with her nails. Carefully retrieving the bills first, she shoved the cash into her purse and focused on gathering her credit cards. Unable to retrieve her Macy’s card from the tiled surface, she bit back a frustrated groan.
“Need help?”
A smooth male voice startled her. She glanced up into the deep blue eyes of a man in a pilot’s uniform. His perusal made her shiver. She recognized that hungry look, and it made her want to run in the other direction.
Glancing away from him, she sighed. She just wanted her card back.
“I guess.”
As the dark-haired man knelt beside her and captured the stray card, she noticed the pin on his lapel. He worked for the same airline as her boyfriend, Randy.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she struggled to stand in her new three-inch heels. She doubted she’d ever get used to them, but Randy thought they were hot, so she wore them anyway. She wanted to look her finest when she surprised him today.
He had no idea she was in Seattle for a conference due to a last minute change in plans at her law firm. Randy would be shocked to see her, but she hoped he would be pleased too. After dating him on and off for nearly two years, she had yet to see his place. He always wanted to come to Boise and stay at her condo instead. Now she had two entire days set aside just for him, and he could show her his place this weekend.
The pilot handed her the Macy’s card and brushed his fingertips against her palm. Her experience with men told her it wasn’t an accident. He was probably just another cheating husband hoping for a quick liaison for the day, but she was done with being stupid about men. Randy was a great catch. She had no intention of ruining their relationship.
Focusing on the poster behind the man, rather than on his face, she said, “Thank you.” When she turned to walk toward the counter, her ankle wobbled.
He chuckled and grabbed her elbow. “Looks like I might need to stick around.”
She stepped away from him. Feeling the heat of his stare, she met his eyes. His attention quickly dropped to her plunging neckline, then slowly returned to her face. His smile widened, revealing gleaming white teeth.
“Can I buy you a drink? Please?”
Diane pressed her hand against her blouse, her face heating. He’d probably seen her black lace bra when she’d leaned forward. Mentally berating herself for not being more careful, she muttered, “No thanks.”
Inhaling the rich aroma of fresh brew, she checked her watch. Almost noon. In less than an hour Randy’s plane would land. He always wanted a good, strong cup of coffee after a long flight, and this was his favorite place. She hoped he didn’t break his routine today or it would mess up her plans.
After enduring two days of boring lectures, she wished she could order something strong as a reward. But surprising Randy and having a chance to visit him would be reward enough.
Resting her hand on her abdomen, she felt a rush of warmth. A tiny life grew inside her womb. She closed her eyes and imagined Randy holding their child for the first time.
Nothing in the world meant more to her than the baby she carried. And though she and Randy had never discussed marriage or becoming a family, she knew he’d be excited about her pregnancy once she gave him the news.
“Are you ready to order, ma’am?”
She opened her eyes. “Yes. I’d like a decaf Chai, please.” Removing a ten dollar bill from her wallet, she offered it to the young man. “Keep the change.”
“Thanks.” He accepted the money with a grin and rang up her order.
While she waited for him to make her drink, she closed her eyes again and imagined Randy’s smile when she told him he was going to be a daddy. He’d hug her, then they’d go to his place to celebrate . . .
Someone tapped her arm. “Are you meeting someone?”
Diane’s pulse skipped a beat. She pretended she hadn’t heard the man or felt his touch. Unfortunately she had a thing for men in uniform. That was how Randy had hooked her two years ago. She didn’t want to be rude; she just didn’t want to encourage the man.
“Excuse me.” The heat from his hand sent a shiver up her spine. “I asked if you’re meeting someone.”
She cleared her throat. “As a matter of fact, I am.”
Shrugging his hand off, she retrieved her cup, then glanced around for a place to sit. Most of the tables were full.
Several soldiers watched her as she tried to decide what to do. They smiled, and one waved for her to join them. With a noncommittal shrug, she moved toward an empty table.
Sliding onto her seat, Diane straightened her short velvet skirt and set her purse under her chair. She removed her leather blazer and hung it over the back of her seat, then tucked another wayward lock of hair behind her ear. She eyed the chocolate cheesecake pictured in a mini-menu beside the napkin holder and smiled, imagining the creamy texture of the dessert. She refused to give into temptation, however. Her clothes were already getting tight.
“Excuse me. Is this seat taken?”
She resisted the urge to stand and slap the young pilot. Glancing up, she met his gaze with a frown, hoping he’d finally take the hint and leave her alone.
He winked. “I bet you’re fantasizing about chocolate cheesecake.”
How had he managed to read her mind? She peered around the crowded coffee bar, noting her table had the only avai
lable seat. Though the man annoyed her, she didn’t want to make him stand.
“I’m waiting for someone, but it’ll be a while.” Diane tipped her head toward the vacant chair. “Go ahead. Have a seat.”
He smiled, set his coffee down, and grabbed the vinyl chair. Turning it around, he sat down and folded his arms over the back.
“Thanks.” Giving her another seductive smile, he removed his cap and set it on the table.
Her cheeks warmed at the intense, lusty gleam in his eyes. He couldn’t be more obvious about what he wanted. She despised overly flirtatious men. What she wanted was a husband, and a family. Not a one night stand.
He offered his hand. “I’m Chuck.”
“Diane.” Loosely grasping his hand, she avoided eye contact.
His fingers slid across the center of her palm as he released her hand. She pressed her lips together and bit back a rude comment. Jerk!
“Are you thinking about me?”
She rolled her eyes. “Why would you think that?”
His gaze roamed her face before settling on her mouth. “Maybe I was hoping you were.”
Diane swirled her tea around and pursed her lips to take a careful sip. Without thinking, she licked her lip and caught him watching her intently.
“Why don’t you let me buy you a slice of cheesecake?”
She shook her head. “No thanks. I really shouldn’t.”
“One slice of cheesecake won’t hurt you. You look really great, if you don’t mind me saying.”
Of course she minded. Good sense told her to get up and leave.
Don’t be rude, Diane. You mustn’t let a man get under your skin.
“Come on.” He rested his hand on hers. “I’ll split it with you.”
Sliding her hand out from under his, she noticed his wedding band. “Nice ring. Do you have kids?”
He eyed his finger and twisted his ring. “We’re expecting our first child in February.”
“That’s not long to wait. Are you nervous?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, he forced a chuckle. “Not as much as my best friend was. You should’ve seen him when his wife was due. The guy was a real mess.”
She tipped her head and feigned interest. “How could you tell?”
He leaned forward. “I had to take over for him. She went into labor while we were on a flight, and he totally freaked out because he couldn’t be with her.”
Diane ran her fingers through her bangs. “Do you fly together often?”
“About two or three times a month.” He shrugged, then sipped his coffee. “He’s getting back from an intercontinental flight today. He’s been scheduled for a lot of those lately. The money is good, but the hours suck.”
“I can imagine.”
“In fact, he’s supposed to meet me here in about an hour.”
“Where’s he flying in from?” She took another long sip. Randy was due about that time.
“Paris.”
Diane choked and coughed until her eyes watered.
Chuck squeezed her arm. “You okay?”
“I think so.” She coughed several more times and patted her chest. “My tea went down the wrong pipe.”
She grabbed a napkin and wiped her nose. The thought that Randy might be Chuck’s friend made her want to run out of the coffee shop, but she pushed the fear aside. Randy wouldn’t lie to her. He loved her.
“What’re you doing in Seattle?”
His flirtatious grin sickened her. Had he all ready forgotten he’d told her he was married? Or didn’t he care?
“I was at a family law conference. I’m an attorney.”
“Wow, an attorney.” Chuck whistled. “Sweet. You live in Washington?”
Diane traced the edge of her cup. “I live near Boise.”
His voice grew husky. “Who’re you meeting?”
“I’d hoped to surprise a friend.”
The song in the background warned about playing the fool in love. She clutched her cup so hard her knuckles whitened and the cardboard started to cave in.
She forced a smile. “So, Chuck, what plans do you have today?
He leaned back. “My friend and I will probably go to a sports bar to catch a football game. It really depends on what he wants to do. I’m usually pretty open.”
“Why doesn’t he go home to his wife? Doesn’t she mind him hanging out with you after getting home from a long trip?”
“Beats me if she even cares.” He grinned. “I never asked.”
“You’d think he’d want to see her after being separated for days.”
Chuck shrugged. “No doubt he would if you were his honey. Honestly, he’s pretty private when it comes to his marriage. He doesn’t talk much about his family.”
“Why not?”
“His wife can be a bit of a nag, but she’s pretty, and his baby is the spitting image of her.” With a sly grin he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “He gave me a picture of his family a few months ago. Want to see it?”
Diane smirked. “You carry his family photo in your wallet?”
“Sure.” He laughed and wiggled his brows. “You get pretty close to a guy when you’re sharing a cockpit for hours. I’m his daughter’s godfather.”
He pulled his chair around closer to hers and handed her the photo. “This was taken last Christmas. She’s about a year and a half old now. Isn’t she sweet?”
Diane sucked in her breath, her vision blurring as tears pooled in her eyes. Randy.
Trembling, she dropped the photo as if it were covered with acid.
“You all right? You look pale.”
She cleared her throat and pasted on what she hoped passed for a smile. “I’m fine. Baby pictures always make me cry.”
She stood and grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair. She struggled to pull it on.
Chuck stood. “Need help?”
She bit her lip and shook her head, then hastily reached under her seat for her purse. “Sorry, but I’ve got to go.”
“Let’s get together sometime.”
The pilot offered her his business card, just as Randy had done two years earlier. When his wife had been pregnant. The memory sent chills up her spine.
She peered at the card as if it were a snake, then hurried out before she started swearing or, worse, burst into tears.
♥♥♥♥♥
“Dave’s Corporate Consulting, how may I help you?”
“Dave, this is Nancy.”
“Who?” Dave Passel stopped hanging his shirts in his closet and focused.
“You know, Joey’s case manager.”
“Right. Of course.” He walked out of his bedroom. “Why are you calling?”
“Do you mind if I stop by today? I need to talk to you for a minute.”
Dave pinched the bridge of his nose. “I could swear I just saw you a couple of weeks ago.”
Nancy chuckled. “That’s because you did. This is not for a regular home visit. I need to talk to you about something that has come up, and I’d rather meet in person.”
His heart clenched. Icy fingers of fear jabbed his chest. She must have bad news. Why else would Joey’s case manager call unexpectedly and need to meet with him in person?
“Can you give me an hour? I haven’t showered yet, and I still need to get Joey dressed and feed him his breakfast.”
“Sure. I can wait. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice. Bye.”
“Bye.”
He turned off his cell phone and stared at the painting of a young man who had fallen to his knees in front of Jesus. Something didn’t feel right. Though Nancy sounded cheerful, the tension he heard in her voice suggested she wasn’t looking forward to sharing the news.
Dave contemplated the painting. Jesus held the young man up, and his head rested against the Savior’s chest. Was God trying to reassure him by drawing his attention to the illustration?
Whatever the news, he knew it had something to do with Joey. Na
ncy had told him on the phone last week that she’d hear back from the court soon about whether or not Joey would be legally free for adoption.
What if something had gone wrong? He’d do whatever it took to keep his son, even hire an attorney if he must.
Jesus, please calm my heart.
“Daddy!”
Joey’s voice echoed down the stairs. When he had a need, he didn’t hesitate to make it known.
Dave combed his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. He refused to worry. Exhaling, he sprinted up the spiral stairs, taking two steps at a time.
“Hang on, Daddy’s coming.”
♥♥♥♥♥
Several times on the drive back to Idaho from Seattle, Diane had to pull over and blow her nose. To make matters worse, the setting sun beamed through her windows and reflected in her rearview mirror, blinding her and intensifying her headache. She didn’t know how she’d make it home, but tonight she wanted to sleep in her own bed.
She started to nod off, then jerked the wheel to stay on the road. Adrenaline shot through her veins as her heart slammed against her ribs. Taking a deep breath, she turned on a classical music station in an effort to stay awake. The droning violins worked on her mind like a lullaby. Cranking the window open to let in the frigid air helped, but still wasn’t enough to keep her from swerving again.
She finally decided to look for a place to spend the night before she killed herself or someone else by falling asleep at the wheel. Her stomach rumbled. She searched the highway for a place to eat. About a mile ahead she spotted a road sign indicating lodging and meals—the only one she’d noticed in the past hour—so she pulled off the road.
She parked and took a deep breath, wiping her nose one last time before she exited her Mercedes. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she adjusted her jacket. Someone whistled behind her, but she didn’t turn to look.
Peering in the window of the restaurant, she noted mostly men inside. Talking to a man in her current state would be disastrous. Before she’d met Randy, she would sometimes seek comfort in a strong man’s arms.
Letting Go (Healing Hearts Book 1) Page 1
