by Matt Shaw
“I doubt I’m going to sleep,” she said, “everything feels wrong here.”
There was no denying there was a strange vibe to where we found ourselves.
“Everything might feel better after we’ve eaten.”
“I doubt it.”
Is this what it’s like living with someone who always looks to the bleak side of life? Is that what Mary had to put up with.
“You know everything is going to be okay...”
“I do?”
“Yes... See, I suffer from depression - badly. Lost my marriage because of it. It’s destroyed my life. And yet, now.... today.... with you.... I don’t feel as though it’s all doom and gloom. For once, I find myself looking on the bright side of life. Yes, I’d rather be on my flight right about now but... if I can’t be on that... well, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.”
Lisa didn’t reply straight away. She just looked at me. I felt as though I deserved some sort of ‘well done’ for my little speech...
“Really?” she said, finally.
“Yes. Considering everything.... I’m actually enjoying your company.”
“I’m being a bitch.”
“Well.... for what it’s worth, I think you’re a nice bitch....”
What am I doing? Where has this confidence come from? I’ve never been confident with the ladies.
“Thank you,” she laughed. “Look, can we start again?”
“Over dinner?” I suggested.
“Sure.”
And there it was - that beautiful smile again.
“Want to take bets as to whether the kitchen is closed or not?” she asked.
8.
The dining room was larger than the first glimpse had hinted. Several tables dotted around the room and still enough space to get around them, if the room was ever at it’s full capacity.
Not being shown to a seat, we chose to sit in the corner of the room. Away from prying eyes? A force of habit. Every time I went to a restaurant, with Mary, I always made sure we sat in the corner - out of sight from people watching what we were doing. Not that I was embarrassed to be seen with Mary - I just preferred to sit in relative privacy. The world is full of nosey people-watchers and they make me uncomfortable.
There was a small hatch in the far wall. I’m guessing that’s where the food would be served from, for the waitress to collect. I’m guessing because, as of yet, there were no waitresses. Only Lisa and I - not that I minded too much.
“Feels strange,” I said.
“This whole place feels strange,” she agreed, “even the air doesn’t feel right...”
“I actually meant being sat at a table, waiting for food, with a lady.”
Lisa laughed, “Sorry.... no special lady waiting at home?”
Do I dare bore her with the whole story.
“Single.”
“That’s right, sorry, you mentioned earlier that your relationship was....”
“Broken,” I finished the sentence for her. She seemed to be struggling to find a fitting way of ending it, without being insensitive. “What about you?”
“Single. Work has always kept me pretty busy. Hard to meet someone when you’re stuck in an office twenty-four seven....”
“Who would have thought... all you had to do was fall asleep on a train?!”
Bad joke.
A bad joke met with an awkward silence.
Well done, me.
Change the subject.
“I think you would have won the bet, had I taken it...”
“Shut?”
I stood up and walked over to the hatch in the wall. A couple of hard knocks went unanswered.
“And no phone to call for a take-away.”
“I’m sure they won’t mind if we make ourselves a sandwich,” I said.
I slid the hatch to one side and jumped back when the opening revealed the old lady just standing there.... staring at me with her vacant eyes.
“Holy shit! You scared the crap out of me!”
The old lady didn’t respond - she just stood there, looking at me. I turned to Lisa who, I’m glad to see, was laughing at my expense. Ignoring her laughter, I turned back to the old lady.
“Do you think we could get a san.....”
The old lady passed two plates of sandwiches across to me; cucumber in white bread with a few crisps scattered next to them. No sooner had I picked them up, the lady slid the hatch shut again.
I turned to Lisa who had stopped laughing.
“Did you see that?” I asked. “Scared the crap out of me.... and look, she’d already prepared the sandwiches...”
“We didn’t order?”
I put the two plates down on our table, “Well, I hope you like cucumber.”
“I think we should just be thankful we even received that,” she said. She picked up her sandwich and took a large bite from it. I guess she was hungr..... her face.... something’s wrong.... she stopped chewing.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Not cucumber....” she swallowed hard.
“What do you mean? It is!” I took the top layer of bread from the sandwich.
“They aren’t cucumbers, they’re gherkins....”
I looked at her as though she had lost the plot. Picking up the plate, I gave the ‘cucumber’ a sniff.
“Doesn’t smell much like cucumber,” I said.
“It’s a gherkin. I’m telling you...”
“Who makes gherkin sandwiches?”
“Obviously this freak-show!” spat Lisa.
“At least we have some crisps,” I said.
Lisa pushed the plate to one side, “This place is beyond a joke... Fifty pounds for a room.... a poorly decorated one, at that.... a broken bathroom, no telephone and gherkin sandwiches for tea... What’s next?”
I started to laugh.
“What? What’s so funny?!” she asked.
“This...”
Normally, I would have been spitting bricks by now. But, watching her getting worked up by the situation saved me from getting stressed. For a change, I could see clearly. There was no point in getting worked up. I realised, early on, that getting stressed wasn’t going to get us out of our predicament. It would have just made it worse.
“This is funny?” she said.
I nodded, “You have to admit.... it is pretty funny in a weird, roundabout kind of way...”
She smiled. Seconds later, her smile turned to laughter. It was a nice moment; the two of us sharing a laugh over our ‘romantic meal’.
I looked to one of the crisps, on the side of my plate, “What flavour do you think these are?”
“I dread to think.... I went first with the sandwich - your turn....”
“Can’t wait...”
A few sniffs didn’t give me any clues so I put the smallest one in my mouth and waited for the taste to hit.
“Well?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It doesn’t taste of anything...”
Lisa frowned and bit into one of the crisps from her own plate. We just looked at each other, bits of crisp in our mouths. I was the first to crunch the crisp up, into smaller fragments, before swallowing it.
“If it weren’t for the fact I put it in my mouth.... I wouldn’t have believed anything was in there!” I said.
“Maybe it’s a new flavour,” said Lisa, “something like ultra-plain?”
“I may have a tic-tac in my coat pocket upstairs, can always share that if you’d like.”
Lisa laughed.
I like her laugh. A cute, little giggle. Infectious. Whenever she laughs, I can’t help but smile, in return. Being around her, even when she is having a mild panic, is quite therapeutic for my moods.
“So where’s your sister getting married?” I asked - not wishing the conversation to dry up for fear of her deciding she’d be better off trying to get some sleep.
“Bermuda. A big beach wedding,” she replied.
“Nice!”
“I hope so,” Lisa continued, “they’ve been planning it forever.... what about you? Where are you jetting off to?”
“Sydney.”
“I’ve never been to that part of the world, is it nice?”
“The best. I’ve been lucky enough to travel to a fair few destinations but Sydney is the one place where I felt completely relaxed....”
“Really? I thought it would have been busy....”
“Well, it is busy.... it is a city, after all... it’s just - the people, the atmosphere - so laid back compared to here. I love the Australian attitude to life....”
“Sounds like you want to live out there!”
“Something like that,” I smiled.
“I’m probably going to go home in the morning....”
“What about the wedding?”
“Would have missed it. The guests are staying on for the week after the wedding but my sister and her partner were leaving the following day to jet off to a private island for their honeymoon. Doesn’t seem worth paying out to transfer the ticket to another flight just to get there when they’ve already left.”
“What about partying with the other guests?”
“Couples - no doubt they’ll be off doing their own thing. I just have images of me being left on the beach, by myself.”
“Come to Australia with me!” I blurted, without really thinking.
Why did I say that? She doesn’t even know me. I don’t even know her.
She laughed, “I can’t do that....”
“Sure you can. It’ll be a laugh.”
It would be a laugh, I suppose, even though I’m not sure what my quick-thinking process is trying to achieve. Survival instinct from my subconscious?
“Even if I could - I couldn’t afford it.”
“That’s okay, I understand, you don’t like me.... just sitting here, being polite for the sake of it,” I teased.
She smiled.
“No, I do like you....”
I felt my cheeks redden. I’m not used to this. Well out of my comfort zone now.
“Thank you,” I said. “I like you too....” autopilot is engaged.
“How long are you going away for?” she asked.
Awkward.
“Maybe,” she went on, “we could meet up when you get back?”
She started laughing before I had a chance to speak.
“What is it?” I asked. Was she just teasing? That’s mean...
“Sorry, this is all new to me - I don’t normally try and ask people out...”
I smiled. She was asking me out? I feel flattered. I feel.... I feel I should perhaps tell her my plans? No, that’s stupid. Maybe she’s my second chance of happiness..... I mean real happiness.... maybe she might finally cure me of my moods.
Do I really want to risk it? What if I go to Australia and it’s just a holiday? I come home to find she’s already met someone or we go out and don’t hit it off properly and I end up back in square one.... although this time I have no equity behind me to plan another ‘end of days’ trip... All this planning - is she worth taking a chance on... unless....
“Come with me,” I said.
“I couldn’t afford it,” she replied.
“What if I pay.... look, I’ve come into a bit of money... and I know you don’t really know me but I’ll get you your plane ticket.... even your own hotel room.... you don’t even have to come out for the whole time I’m out there, you could come home earlier and then we could meet up.... It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity... you know it is...”
“I wouldn’t feel right....”
“Why not?!”
“It’s your money... you don’t even know me.”
“It’ll give me a chance to get to know you.....”
And, more importantly, decide whether she’s worth changing my plans for. At the end of the day, if things do go well... I’ll worry about what to do when I come back home later.
She did a nervous laugh. Still cute. Still infectious. I smiled.
“You have nothing to lose,” I said, “you’ll have your own room - your own ticket.... it’s just a free holiday. If the money means that much, you can pay for our next holiday.....”
“Our next holiday?”
“What can I say - I’m being optimistic.”
This really is a new me. Did she bring this out?
She’s smiling. I think I’m convincing her.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes... okay.... okay, I’ll come.... but I pay for the next holiday,” she giggled.
I smiled. Even if things didn’t work out between us - I’m sure we’d have a good holiday anyway. And, the whole point of these last few weeks was to really live it up before I punch my ticket. Having her around will help me enjoy myself - it’ll be nice to share the experiences with someone. If things don’t work out - I can still finish off the way I originally intended after she’s gone home.
“That’s that sorted then,” I said, “I think we need a drink to celebrate...”
I turned to summon over the waiter only to remember where we were.
“I don’t think there’s even a mini-bar in the room,” she said, sensing I had just realised a drink order being placed was extremely unlikely.
“I’ll have a bet with you....”
“Go on...”
“The old lady.... I bet when I go to the hatch, she’s there with two drinks.”
“Okay.”
Feel confident, I stood up and walked over the hatch - I turned to Lisa with a cocky smile on my face. She gestured to the hatch....
“Why, thank you,” I said, in the direction of the opening, as I slid the hatch across...... nothing.....
The old lady wasn’t there.
“So, do I win anything?” Lisa called out from the table.
I closed the hatch and opened it again....
One more time?
Once again I slid it shut and slid it open again... she still wasn’t there.
“You can’t just keep opening and closing it until she’s there,” Lisa said as she stood up. “Admit it, you lose.... besides, I think I’m going to call it a night - sounds as though we’re in for an adventure tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I said, walking over to her. I felt a tinge of disappointment wash through my body. All things considered - tonight has been enjoyable. “I’ll walk up with you.”
“Thank you.”
We left the dining area and crossed the hallway, towards the stairs.
“Good night.”
The old lady was stood at the counter - staring directly at us.
“Good night,” I said. Lisa chose to ignore her. I guess she’s still upset by the lack of telephone.
It didn’t take long to get up the stairs, where I walked Lisa to her room.
She unlocked the door and stepped in, turning in the door way to address me, “Thank you for being good company and sorry for being a bitch at times...”
“It’s okay, you’re fine. I understand you’re disappointed....”
“Yes. Yes, I am. But at least I have something to look forward to now... you’re sure you want me tagging along on your holiday?”
I smiled, “Positive. It’ll be fun and I’ll be grateful for the company. You’ll be doing me a favour...”
“Well, I’ll see you the morning then.”
And, with that, she leaned close to me and gave me a little kiss on the cheek. Immediately I felt my face redden, again.
“Want me to knock on your door?” I offered.
“Unless I knock on yours first...” she said.
I smiled again as she closed the door with a final ‘goodnight’.
I can’t remember the last time I smiled so much. It feels nice.
Still smiling, I walked back to my own room and let myself in. The door swung shut behind me and I heard the door’s latch click into place.
