by Han Yang
Me and my big dumb mouth. But, it’s probably for the best since I’m doing the long term chastity relationship building thing. A happy priestess is probably for the best anyway.
“Done,” I said, and she muttered a thanks to Caitlyn. I almost told her to thank me but moved by the petty retort. “If it gets worse, you become really clear. If he becomes crazy attached, I think I can correct his behavior with an order. I’d feel slimy doing that, though.”
“Yeah, and hence why I didn’t order him to stop being a perv. Apparently, dying and being reborn as a ‘minion human’ doesn’t equate to being devoid of desire, something to consider when you change them from skeletons,” Bell said, already improving with her tone turning positive. “How are you holding up otherwise?”
“Learning, feeling like I’ll hit my ten thousand mark relatively easily,” I said, navigating the narrowing trail. “And then I swing a sword. Yeah. I never trained for anything more than sleeping with beautiful women, being a regular guy, and reading good books. Simple and boring might work here, but it’d take a really long time.”
The jungle tended to blend in as one giant repetition of trees, vines, bushes, and small wildlife. Quite often, large animals would rush away from our approach, rightfully fleeing before hunters.
We trekked through the humid jungle with the sun directly overhead. The myriad of colors became repetitive, and I hated wearing armor in the thick moist air. A few minutes of silence passed when Bell sighed as if bored.
“Lumpy does amazing work,” Bell said proudly. She joined my side when the path expanded up a hill. “I - I - I wanted to thank you. For a few reasons. You seem to believe in me even as a water mage. Your encouraging words come with no strings attached.”
“Ha, yeah, I’m comfortable speaking to women. More importantly, even though I spent my school, college, and post college years being a womanizer, I was perfectly fine if it didn’t lead to anything. I know that all chances of an ‘us’ were ruined on that fateful day that feels like months ago, I’d still like to be your honest friend,” I admitted and continued with, “and I’d like to think you’ll be a wonderful mage, whether you end up a High Priestess or not.”
Her hair went back into a ponytail, and she thumbed the bow’s sinew that hung diagonally across her chest.
“Thanks. Sometimes it's nice to hear encouragement. I sorta needed a smidge of affirmation. I really miss my father, and to some extent, even my mom.” I could see her steps lighten and her mood already improving. “How are you handling the thought of seeing your parents again?”
I shrugged and asked, “You ever have those unattainable goals that you give up on?” Her reaction was instant puzzlement. “Sheesh, who am I kidding? That’s the opposite of a devout. I admire you for your tenacity. Me, I’m a quitter. I normally give up if anything becomes too much of a burden.” I sighed, ducking under a limb. “Look, clearly I’m changing. Life has thrown me a whole new reality, and I’m suddenly training hard in the morning after saying no to sex.”
Bell giggled at this, and I joined her with a chuckle. I had to cut in front of her for a narrowing of bushes. I glanced at her over my shoulder, flicking my head back and forth as I tried to talk and watch her at the same time.
I stepped down a hill, hearing water surging up ahead.
Finally, a break. This leather armor in the jungle is the worst.
“I guess my point is that we’re a team, and I’m here for you, even if -”
My vision dimmed.
I shuddered violently and then collapsed, my body refusing to send messages to my muscles. The gritty brown terrain rushed up to smack my face.
Without any control, I tumbled downhill while vomiting. My nose shattered. A crack erupted from my left wrist, and I tumbled down hill for at least a dozen feet until I wrapped a tree.
I groaned, shock setting in as I saw my left forearm a ruined mess.
Goblin Minion 1 has died. Penalty one hundred mana. You have hit 0 mana. Mana exhaustion initiated for one hour and seventeen minutes. You have one hour to rebuild your minions. You may use Zorta to restore your mana.
Hell yes, I was going to restore my mana. It was cheap to do so at these levels and screw recovering in agony. Never doing that again.
Consume .14 Zorta to recover 122 mana. -92 owed + 30 to full recovery. (YES) - (NO)
The overwhelming dizziness abated, and I immediately touched my arm and said, “Heal self.”
Green magic burst out of my hand, coating my broken forearm with tendrils that reminded me of a flowering vine. I watched in apt fascination as the healing magic repaired the damage from the fall.
A series of bone fragments flew from the dirt to return into my arm, and I had to imagine they did so without infectious stuff on them. A minute later, I was back to being a semblance of okay.
“What happened?” Bell asked, her bow off her back with an arrow nocked.
Right, right. I should be worried too. A dead minion meant danger.
I rose to my feet to pull out my sword and said, “Minion one died.”
“From what?” Asha asked, sneaking out of the bushes.
I jolted from his sudden arrival. “How the hell should I know?” I snapped. I was literally covered in vomit, blood, and had a good reason to be sour. All this was not who I was deep down. I calmed and added, “It doesn’t tell me what killed my minion.”
I went to the donkey to get my shield.
“Right, I’ll -” I started to say when a loud neighing from below increased in volume.
The sound of angry hooves smacking against river stones reached us, and as one, we readied for battle.
A massive white stallion came charging up our trail with Lumpy chasing him our way. Bell and I lowered weapons and stuck our hands out, trying to calm the horse.
“Back up Lumpy, everyone stay calm,” I ordered, surprised by the authority in my voice.
The horse slowed, recognizing humans for what they were, friends. The stallion pranced up to Bell, nestling into her chest. I could certainly relate to the big guy.
“Are you an animal whisperer?” I asked.
“No, I’m a water mage,” she replied as if I were the crazy one.
Ah, apparently there is magic to talk to animals.
“What’s going on?” Tarla asked, catching up.
“Uh, we found a really nice horse, but someone killed my -” I paused when Bell plucked a bone out of the horse's mouth. “Uh… be on guard, but we may have found the culprit that killed my goblin. Asha, go scout. Lumpy, I need you to secure the area.”
“I hear a river,” Jark said, and his sister slugged his arm.
“Damien, are you okay? I heard you cry out.” Tarla grabbed a rag from within her robe to clean my face. “Already looking better. You poor thing. We need you in a wagon or something to avoid falling if a minion dies.”
While I liked the idea, we were on a game trail, not a cleared road. Even a hand cart would need to be picked up half the time. An expensive horse, though, now that would work wonders.
“This horse is expensive,” Bell said, bonding with the animal. “Like really, really expensive. It’s all white, a few hands taller than the average stallion, and it has enchanted armor too.”
Bell’s hazel eyes tracked the animal, matching her fascinated tone.
“Wonder where the rider is?” I asked with furled brows.
I checked the armor for pockets and the saddle for clues. I saw frayed twine where a carrying sack had likely been ripped off.
“So many questions,” Tarla said.
We didn’t have to wait long for Asha to shout, “It’s clear.”
Our small party headed down the trail for the river. The constant noise of rapids increased. Based on the volume, we were nearing a fast section.
When the trees and bushes transitioned to the stones of the riverbank, the space opened up in a way I never expected.
I saw white water rushing unnaturally between trees. On earth, not many trees
grew in rapids, if any. In this world, there were bamboo type trunks and even bushes on vines with roots extending to the water.
The shoreline contained smooth river rocks that dominated the separation between water and jungle. A few boulders rested in the space. Far fewer were in the water then I expected.
I glanced left and right, seeing a fairly straight river that stretched a good distance on both sides.
“Your goblin died near the water over here. I’m not sure where the stallion came from because the river stones make it hard to track,” Asha said. I went to ask why when our feet indented them, leaving an easy path to track when he continued, “He slept here last night and the fight with your goblin created a mess. The area is clear. I just need more time.”
“What is your gut telling you?” I asked, and he frowned. “Your intuition.”
“Oh, that some noble came into the valley from the north and died or was captured. Seeing as how the heavily armored horse didn’t drown and has a dry saddle, I doubt the river killed our hero. Give me an hour or two,” Asha said, and I nodded.
I went to the goblin remnants and realized they were beyond saving even if I wanted to restore him. Another minion dead. I didn’t feel anything. Talking with Tarla about swimming while snuggling was very heartwarming. Staring down at the splintered bones of one of my worthless minions? I felt nothing.
Lumpy returned with some sort of large frog, and I smiled when he spat the wounded animal out at Bell’s feet. I knew the jenix was delivering a present for Bell. Jark even started chanting his long lightning spell.
The warhorse, for that is surely what the fine animal was, squished the frog with a single stomp well before Bell started to chant a water golem summoning spell. The gleeful neighing told me the horse had a vindictive side.
Bell stuck her hands on her hips and stomped a foot. “Hey, I could have used that to level,” Bell said and the horse nickered apologetically. “Who’s a good boy?” She bent down and pet Lumpy. “The other skeletons are my friends, okay? You leave them alone, please.”
A lip smack and snorting reply left me confused as to how smart the horse was. He clearly understood her either through tone, posturing, or words.
“Goblins, collect firewood for a nice lunch. We’ll kill fish while we wait for Asha to figure out where we cross this river and if we have a foe nearby to fight,” I said, not liking the fact we stood idle.
Bell glanced at me and said, “Sometimes I forget I thrived on fishing with my magic. This should be fun. Only smash heads, Lumpy and Charlie.”
“Charlie is a good name,” Tarla said in a patronizing tone that the horse delighted in. She got on the big guy's side when Bell neared the water’s edge.
I prepared my sword, not sure what to expect.
Bell’s hands danced rapidly, agitating the river’s surface with two swirling spots. The concentrated magic spun tightly, siphoning off the river until it flew into her hands. She muttered a chant, picking up the intensity and volume of the water.
“River, know thy will, and onto the shore; life, you will spill. River, know thy will, and onto the shore; life, you will spill. River, know thy will, and onto the shore; life, you will spill,” her voice reached a crescendo.
Magic shot out of her palms. What I saw astounded me. A massive square of river vibrated, sending a geyser of water high and round the main section she controlled. The shaking increased until the chunk of river gyrated off the main body of water.
She raised the block of magically contained water, shifting it to hover over the shore.
Droplets of water rained down, but the main section remained solid. The magic marveled with the sun blasting through the clean water to reveal a whole lot of confused fish trying to swim away and hitting an invisible wall.
My momentary distraction of amazement ended when I realized that if I didn’t move the spell would drench me. I walked up the shoreline and waited. Bell continued moving her spell, a crack forming in the bottom central point.
Her face scrunched and her breathing intensified as she struggled. The large brick of water became too much, and her hands fell to her side in defeat.
Like a damn bursting, the middle collapsed, sending a gush of water downward.
Bell, Jark, and Tarla were all instantly soaked from the sudden torrent, and even I got wet from the splash.
Any cries of shock ended when the sound of flopping fish meant the great hunt was on.
Lumpy and I worked the shoreline, jabbing down to end fish before they could jump back into the water.
I used light jabs with tired arms, killing methodically when I could. I had to be honest with myself on the fourth fish. My hand eye coordination left me jabbing stones instead of rapidly moving targets.
I only killed four fish by the time it was over. Even the horse had done better.
Bell said, “There’s so many here I can rejuvenate my mana and keep going. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.”
The sound of footsteps approaching pulled our attention from the joyful victory.
“That’s because this is a fish preserve,” Asha said, returning with a long face. He stuck his hands on his hips and said, “I found out where the horse came from, and we have a tough choice ahead.”
CHAPTER 24
Ikara Valley
“A cyclops?” I blurted.
“Yeah, at least five of them, and each over a hundred feet tall. They’re roasting three humans and two horses over the fire,” Asha said. “They have traps and hiding spots dug into their clearing. Right tricky bastards.”
I paused, taking a deep breath.
Ouch. I could only imagine they came to kill one, found out there were five, and died for their mistake.
“Is there a safe bridge we can use?” Tarla asked.
Asha nodded and said, “There is one, but it’s not exactly safe. They live on both sides at a quieter part of the river. The cyclops are so big it's easy for them to step over the river. They fish with big nets, and based on the tracks, they don’t come to this part of the river because the tonko trees make netting impossible. The fish are safe here, and based on the fact the horses and humans' guts were dumped in the water…”
He let the sentence hang, and I suddenly realized it was probable that I became drenched in human remains. Tarla also made the connection and vomited. I walked over, holding her fiery locks out of her way.
“Yeah, it's actually not too far, so try to limit the crazy magic or loud noises. It gets worse or maybe better,” Asha said, talking while Bell conjured clean water from the air to blast Tarla. “There’s a troll village to the south with goblins tending fields while the fat trolls relax. They have a bridge too, but it would likely result in a fight if we tried to use it. The bad news is they’re not all fat and there’s a decent amount of cerberus guarding their slave workers. We would need to use trickery or patience to win that battle.”
“Like three headed dogs?” I asked.
“Yes, hip high. Not much bigger than Lumpy,” Tarla said.
I saw a water spell readying for me. I closed my eyes, and Bell drenched me in fresh water. This only compounded our current issue of needing a rest with everyone now being wet.
The clack of dropping wood brought my attention to the skeletal goblins. The duo piled dry firewood down the beach, and I had a decision to make with limited information.
“How close are they? Are you sure we can't get away with lunch if the cyclops are eating?” I asked, hearing my tummy rumbling.
I knew we needed to dry our clothes at the very least.
“Likely, but I’d avoid it. My intuition is saying to go towards the goblins and trolls, like now,” he said, cultivating fish orbs until they flopped to the stones. He plucked his pile and handed them to Bell. “The cyclops are laughing over a large fire at the moment. Having one ourselves might work, but if it doesn’t, we simply cannot outrun a hundred-foot tall cyclops. Even if we all had nice horses and great gear. Clearly it didn’t help th
e human knights.”
“No lunch it is then. Everyone, collect the orbs as quickly as possible, and we’ll move down river to reassess the situation. Go ahead, Asha. Take Lumpy too,” I said, and the duo headed east. “Goblins, carry -” I paused, snapping my fingers.
All eyes focused on me, and I waved Asha back.
I wagged a finger as the plan coalesced in my head.
Yes, yes, that would be epic.
“The gear,” I said, eying Asha.
He frowned. “Tossed in a pile by the river with other discarded loot. It’s within eyesight of the fire, and they’ll smell me if I get that close. If I cross the bridge, I’ll be spotted. Who knows what’s lurking in those waters if I swim across, but I doubt I could swim with the stolen loot back too.”
“How about the goblins and the donkey?” I asked.
“Hmm… The donkey would be too loud for the bridge, but I think I’m catching on. The undead don’t smell, don’t drown, and can use the river as cover. If you give me the goblins, I can try, but what’s the goal? Just a blade? Or armor too?” he asked.
“Anything. A fine blade by a knight would be worth more than a five Z goblin,” I said. “This seems like a great opportunity to make them useful. They’re shit at catching animals compared to Lumpy.”
“If this is what you want, give me until morning and don’t go beyond the bend in the river. I bet they feast and nap or at least become slightly sedated,” Asha said.
Bell cleared her throat but Tarla beat her to it and said, “Damien, maybe don’t mess with the cyclops.”
Asha sighed and said, “Normally, poking the cyclops is a bad idea. I actually like this one. The goblins can walk under the river, slowly exit, grab loot, and come back to me. By morning, we will cut through the jungle to reach you, and they won’t be able to track our smell or prints.”
“Won’t the skeletons float?” I asked.
Asha walked over to a broken piece of trampled goblin from the horse. He dropped it into the water, and it sank.
