I grabbed my mother's hand and looked into her reddening eyes. "Mom, when I left home, I met Joe. He let me stay with him for a year, but he never told me he knew you or dad. I'm just wondering now if he was keeping me safe because he still cared about you."
She smiled and squeezed my hand. "If he did then I wish I could have thanked him. God, he's really gone?"
"Yeah, that's how I met Charlie. I went back to the tavern to thank him and she was there. That's actually what brought me here. There's more that dad isn't telling you. He put a damn lien on the tavern. Charlie has thirty days to come up with fifty grand. I need you to convince Dad to back off. This vendetta he has is going to leave two people that I care about without a home and a business."
"I can't talk to him about that. Why would your father even care what happens to the tavern if Joe is gone?"
"Because he left a quarter of it to me. Yesterday, I thought Joe was just letting me stay with him to get back at Dad for something, but now I know that he did it for you. He left me a quarter of that bar so I could find out the truth. Somehow he knew I would figure it out eventually. Mom, I know you're scared, but I love Charlie and right now she hates me so much. Please help me make things right."
She didn't want to help me, in fact, I knew she didn't want to get involved at all. Sure, I was a little taken back when I found out that my mother had an affair with another man, but in the whole big picture of things, I could see how it would happen. "I want to see her. Take me to see Charlie."
"That's not going to be easy. I sort of lied about who I was for the whole month we've been together and she hates my guts."
She kept shaking her head. "I just can't believe this. I can't believe that you fell in love with that little girl. John, I want you to take me to her."
It didn't take but a second for me to agree. Any reason to see Charlie was a good enough reason for me. I was just hoping that after she talked to my mother, she would let me be in her life. I was too crazy about her to just let her walk out of my life.
My mother insisted that I drive her Jag instead of my old beat up piece of shit. I think she was okay until we pulled up out front. Her eyes filled with tears. "It still looks the same as when Joe bought it back from the bank. He'd never been so happy as that day when he knew it was his again."
I rang the buzzer and prayed that Charlie would come answer the door. There was a chance that she wouldn't and this attempt to talk to her would be for nothing.
After about four minutes, I could hear someone approaching and then opening the door. Charlie looked like she was still crying and when she saw me and my mother, she just stood there staring at the woman. I cleared my throat to get their attention. "Charlie, this is my mother, Lydia. She needs to talk to you and I am begging you to hear her out."
She rolled her eyes at me, but opened the door and smiled at my mother.
We followed her up the stairs and I noticed my mother looking all around the bar. I guess it was bringing back a bunch of memories. Once we got upstairs, Ryan came out of his room and jumped in front of me. "Jammer, I knew you'd be back. Who is that lady?"
"That's my mom. Her name is Mrs. Lydia."
He walked up to her and she bent down to say hello. "You're pretty for an old lady."
We all started laughing. "Hey Ry, you wanna come downstairs and shoot a couple games of pool with me?"
"Awesome!" He headed for the door.
I looked back at the ladies. "I'm just going to take him downstairs so you two can talk."
I left the ladies and headed downstairs with Ryan, even though I just wanted to stay and be with Charlie. I looked her way as I started to close the door behind me. For just a second, I thought that I saw her start to smile at me.
It was important to me to spend time with Ryan. If Charlie didn't take me back, I wouldn't be able to see the kid anymore.
He had already picked out a stick and was grabbing the balls and putting them in the triangular shaped rack. "You break and then I will make the shots."
I laughed. Ryan didn't understand the rules of the game, but he loved to shoot the ball all around. I grabbed a house stick and broke the balls up. He walked around the table, just like I did when I was scoping out how I was going to run the table. He was cute though. He didn't know that was what I did, he'd just seen me walking around and started doing it himself. "You see a shot you want to take?"
He put the stick up on the table and got on his tippy toes. Every single time he went to take a shot, his little tongue would stick out. He shot at the cue ball and knocked all the balls around the table. The seven ball fell in the side and his face lit up. "Did you see that?"
I let out a laugh. "Yeah, dude. That was a great shot."
He kept shooting around, while I sat back in the corner chair and sulked about how I'd managed to fuck up something that could have been so good. I wasn't convinced that my mother was going to help out my broken relationship with Charlie, but at least she would know more about her father.
After a while I sat Ryan up on the table and let him slide the balls all around. I think he liked the way it sounded when they made contact with each other.
I heard feet walking down the stairs and then saw both of the women coming toward the billiard lounge. My mother had a tissue in her hand and I could tell she was crying at some point again. Charlie stood in the doorway and looked over at me. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
I left my mother and Ryan and walked to the front of the bar with Charlie. It would have been nice if she just wrapped her arms around me and told me that I could come home, but she didn't. "Charlie, please don't hate me. When we first hooked up it was about fucking each other. It wasn't about my real name. I know you're pissed about that, but when I started to have feelings for you, it was too late to tell you the truth."
"Jammer, it doesn't change the fact that you lied to me the whole time we were together. Your mother told me everything and it's just a giant fucking mess. I can't deal with it right now. She can't help me get the money to save the tavern and from how she explained things, your father will stop at nothing until this building is tore down."
"Let me help you figure out what to do next."
"No, I think it's best if you just go. I'm not saying I hate you, because I think we've dealt with enough lies for one lifetime, but I can't be with you."
"Charlie," I grabbed her hand and held it with both of mine. "I..."
"We don't need to get all technical with the goodbyes. It's best if you just go now, so it isn't any harder."
I wanted to tell her that I loved her and I guess I should have instead of saying goodbye to Ryan and walking out the door.
When I got back in the car with my mother, she was still sniffling. "John, thank you for taking me to see Charlie. I can see why you love her."
"Yeah, it doesn't really matter how I feel. She doesn't want anything to do with me."
She reached over and grabbed my shoulder. "She needs you. You can't give up on that."
I sighed and kept my eyes on the road. "She's too proud to have me come back, Mom. I fucked up. Oh, sorry for the language. I'm just so pissed at myself."
"You're a grown man. If you need to say fuck to make yourself feel better, don't let me stop you."
We both laughed for the first time since we'd seen each again. "Mom, I don't know the first thing about being in a relationship. Every time I feel like I'm doing something right, I'm just messing up. Every bone in my body tells me that I'm supposed to be with her. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel that my father is the damn reason that I can't be happy?"
"I didn't want this life for you, John. I knew he was the reason you left, I just wished you would have kept in touch with me. I miss you. You're my only son."
I stopped at a red light and turned to her. "Mom, I'm sorry. I just needed to get away from him. I knew if I stayed he would be involved in whatever I wanted to do."
"I'm going to try to help you, John. I can't promise anything, but ma
ybe I can get him to back off."
"Mom, anything is better than where I'm at right now. I'd do anything to have a real shot with Charlie."
When we finally made it back to the house, I had filled her in on what I'd been doing for the past six years. She wasn't too amused about my choices, especially my tattoos, but I think my mother was just so happy that we were together that it didn't even matter.
I was determined to find a way to save the tavern and I was willing do whatever I needed to do to get it done.
Chapter 25
Charlie
Lydia Thomas left me more confused. I could tell that Jammer was desperate for me to forgive him. I wanted to, I really did. It hadn’t even been twenty four hours and I felt like calling him and telling him to come be with me. It's funny how you don’t know how much someone means to you until they're gone.
Ryan was really happy when Jammer came back, so when he left again, it was harder for me to explain he wasn't coming back. Just as I put Ryan to bed, I got a text message.
I'm sitting outside. If you don’t let me in, I’m going to sleep in my car. -J
Are you really trying to coax your way inside like that? - C
Charlie, I know you're mad at me, but I also know you're in love with me. -J
Did he really just say that to me?
You aren't coming in. -C
I'll play you for your heart.-J
You're crazy.-C
Okay obviously I have an advantage. I'm going to stand at your door for exactly ten minutes. If you love me like I think you do, you'll let me in. -J
What if I don't open it?-C
Then I will know that you never loved me and we are over for good.-J
I guess this is going to be a long ten minutes for you. -C
I'm confidant you will come to the door.-J
When does the ten minutes start?-C
Two minutes ago.-J
My heart was beating so hard that I swear I could hear it. I could be stubborn and pretend that I didn't love him, but would I be hurting him or myself more. The truth was that being without Jammer was going to suck. For the first time since I was ten years old, I felt safe, I felt happy and most importantly I felt loved. He may have not said it, but I felt it every single day. We had become a team and although it hadn't been long, our time together had showed me what a real relationship was like.
I looked at the clock and three minutes had passed. I had five more minutes to decide on my future with Jammer. Sure, I was still angry and pissed, but what was happening wasn't just about Jammer lying to me. I could try to handle this myself or have someone to do it with me. I think I knew the answer even before my feet hit the steps. When I got close to the front door I could see him leaning against it. I don't know why, but I stood there and just watched him. He looked down at his phone and check the time. I pulled mine out of my pocket and saw that nine minutes had passed.
I wasn't usually one to joke around, but since Jammer was so sure about me opening the door, I ducked down and waited until eleven minutes had passed.
He checked his phone and shook his head. He pressed his face against the door and looked inside to see if I was coming and turned to start walking toward his car. I waited until he hit the curb before sending him a message.
I wasn't good enough to wait two extra minutes?
He looked up and saw me waving at the door. I watched him shake his head and start walking back. When I opened it up, he grabbed me into his arms and held me tight against his chest. "I am so sorry, Charlie."
"I'm still mad at you."
He pulled away and kissed me softly. "I know. I get it."
"The thing is, I know I won't always be mad and I'm not willing to lose you in the meantime. I don't want to go through this at all, but with you by my side, it makes it all easier."
"I might have drove away, but I would have come back tomorrow."
I laughed as we walked inside hand in hand. "I would have expected you to still show up for work. You are pretty much the best bartender ever."
He smiled and nudged me with his hip. "I only work hard so I can impress my sexy ass boss."
"I hear she's a real bitch."
He cupped his hands around my face and rubbed my lips with his thumbs. "I think I'm in love with her."
This was it. This was going to be the first time I ever told a guy that I loved him. I could feel my cheeks getting red as I was overwhelmed with animosity. Talking about my feelings had always been so hard for me. Still, I just wasn't willing to take any more risks when it came to losing him. "I'm pretty sure she loves you too."
He grabbed both of my hands and pulled me into the stairwell. "I need to get you naked."
I felt his lips on mine and I pulled back a little. “This isn’t going to solve anything. I’m still going to be mad.” My hands slid under his shirt as we sat down on the stairs.
“I like it when you’re mad. You take it out on me when we fuck.” He tugged on my shirt and I let him lift it over my head. Next came my bra and then I felt him tugging down my pants. He was going to bang me right here on the steps. I grabbed the button to his jeans and yanked them down hard as our tongues continued to tease one another.
Jammer ran his hands into my hair and pressed his body against mine. I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh, so I reached down and held it in my hand. He buried his face into my neck. “I want you so bad. Turn your ass around.” He stood up and kicked off his jeans. Before I turned around, I watched him ripping off his t-shirt. I loved looking at his tattooed chest. Just seeing it turned me on. I turned around and felt the warmth of his naked body pressing over my back. His hand ran up and down my ass cheek right before he smacked it hard. I jumped and next felt his hands rubbing out where he’d slapped. “God, I love this ass.”
I leaned my head on my hands as I continued to hold my ass in the air for Jammer. His hand ran up my back and then down it. When he reached my ass, he slid his finger down in between the crack. He slid that one finger all the way down until he reached my pussy. “Tell me how mad you are, Charlie.”
His voice vibrated off of my neck when he said it. I could feel tingling in my nipples and I was ready for him to do whatever he wanted. I’d just had the worst day ever and this was just what the doctor ordered. “I hate you.”
His finger slid back up and punctured the base of my ass. I wanted to freak out, but it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. He cupped one of my butt cheeks with one hand and slowly moved a finger from his other hand inside of my ass. He tickled the rim and continued to kiss the back of my shoulders as he leaned over me. “Tell me you want me, Charlie.”
I bit down on the back of my hand enjoying a little too much how his finger felt as it violated me. “I want you.”
He thrusted harder. “Louder, Charlie. Tell me to fuck that pretty little pussy.”
Hearing him talking nasty just made me want him more and he knew it. “Please, Jammer, I want you inside of me.” I said it loudly and it echoed in the dim light stairwell.
“Oh, I’m going to be right there, baby. You just keep that ass up in the air for me.”
I did as he said and felt him adjusting behind me. He kept his finger in my ass as he slowly placed his hard cock over my entrance. I was too wet to notice the consuming pressure of his girth forcing to fill me. With his free hand, he grabbed me by the hips and rocked his body back and forth, while inside of me. His finger continued to tease the base of my anus, sending sensations all throughout my body. “You like it when I play with your ass, don’t you?”
Oh my God did I. “Yes,” I cried out.
He rammed me harder, pulling me by the hip until we smacked together. I cried out more, both in pain and pleasure that were overcoming me. Jammer slowed down his pace and removed his finger. “Turn around and spread those legs. I need to watch it going in.”
I turned around and leaned my head back over the steps, while Jammer guiding both of my legs to be held up by me as he looked down
and played with my clit. Each time he touched me there with his finger, I bucked up off the steps. “You’re so wet for me. I had to come back to you, Charlie. I had to fuck you again.”
The tip of his penis slapped against my sensitive clit. It felt warm and as he continued, I could feel the sensations taking over my body. I cupped both of my breasts into my hands and closed my eyes tightly as it overwhelmed me again. His erect dick thrusted inside of me, just as I was starting to relax and it sent me back into convulsing movements. I couldn’t hold my legs spread any longer, so I wrapped them around Jammer’s back. He pounded harder by grabbing my shoulder and to grind us together more. I watched his body tighten and his eyes close right before he slowed his pace and finally came to a halt.
Jammer grabbed one of my hands and brought it to his lips. “No more secrets, Charlie. I promise you.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
It wasn’t until we were upstairs and in the shower that I realized just how happy I was that Jammer was back. My head was pounding from crying so much, but all I could think about was having to spend another second with a broken heart. Jammer lied to me. Everyone lies at some point and yeah, it was a big one, but at the end of the day, I loved the man he was regardless of his full name or who his parents were.
He still wanted to try, even after knowing the truth about our families past. We were so linked that it wasn’t even funny. I didn’t remember Jammer like he could remember me. I guess I was too young. I guess he was around eight when he last saw me and I was just five. With everything that was happening at home between my parents, I could understand how I would block out everything about that time of my life.
Our past was our past and we both needed to look toward the future. We hadn’t been together very long, but our bond was strong and letting him go wasn’t an option for me. I never understood how people in relationships couldn’t work things out. Of course, I had no experience and maybe taking Jammer back so quickly was a rookie mistake, but I was left happy instead of sad because of the decision. Screw what everyone else thought anyway.
Hustle Me Page 16
