‘It’s likely to get very rough, so we need all our strength to hang in there. We need each other more than ever for support,’ I added. ‘I certainly need as much help as I can get.’
‘Yes, Falco is the one likely to take most of the blame from the press and general public.’
‘Well, Gene is also right up there in the public eye too,’ I said, wanting the others to recognise how important he’d become. There didn’t seem to be any resentment.
‘True, but you are still the main face of Gaia. The boy wonder.’ Ala put a very welcome hand on my shoulder. I’d forgotten just how comforting these simple gestures were and craved human company then more than ever before in my life. Solitude was easier as a falcon or as a cat. It seemed to be inbuilt. But as a human I depended upon contact – both emotional and physical. When Ala hugged me it gave me so much energy and a feeling of optimism; as if I was no longer alone. As Falco or Felis, I had no way of communicating complex feelings to another of my species, nor did I need to feel satisfied. However, Homo sapiens instinctively sought another person as a companion. I needed another to listen to my joys and woes, and actively wanted to hear the voice and emotions of someone else. Sometimes I felt happy if that ‘someone’ was anybody, but more often than not I imagined that someone being Ala. I was convinced that I would never get bored listening to her. Likewise, I knew that she empathised with me and cared enough to draw out my feelings too. Ala gave me hope after that meeting that we were doing the right thing but then it happened again. In Texas.
This time it was the – thankfully – empty chemical plant of another company on our list. But tragically the burning chemicals spewed toxic pollutants that fouled the air for miles around, causing countless injuries and accidents. Hundreds of people reported a similar sickness from breathing in the noxious gases. These effects were widespread but impossible to prove or disprove. The Gaia Foundation found themselves the subject of dozens of lawsuits and injunctions.
Meanwhile we appeared to be no closer to finding the original perpetrators of either of these terrible acts of violence. We cooperated with the police and all the authorities. I was called before the House of Commons at an unprecedented Special Hearing to give an account of myself and the Gaia Foundation to the Prime Minister, Home Secretary, and other members of the cabinet, parliament, and Ministry of Justice. The Lord Chief Justice also broke protocol to speak with me personally and formally.
The media remained divided as to my innocence or otherwise. Many newspapers and websites were keen to pin the blame on me entirely as a scapegoat for all that was wrong with our modern society. Others defended me vociferously. They could see that destruction and further pollution went against our mission and philosophy. It was surely pretty obvious!
Then it was total chaos. Shops, factories and offices were bombed in my name. It was always ‘Falco’ rather than the Gaia Foundation. It became utterly personal. What was ridiculous was that I couldn’t have been personally responsible for all these mindless acts throughout the world. However, my critics and enemies said I was paying agents and contacts worldwide to see out my wishes and commands. As if I hoped to begin World War 3. Why couldn’t these morons see that it went against everything that I stood for? No proof could be pinned on me – only words taken out of context which could be interpreted vaguely as calling for anarchy and Armageddon.
News broadcasts filled with hideous pictures of riots; shootings against police and civilians; bomb victims being placed into ambulances or mass graves. To add to the horror, animals, birds and marine creatures were also being affected by the pollution and mayhem being caused.
This madness had to stop!
There was only one way to end all this.
I gave myself up to the police and issued a statement.
“I have never condoned violence of any kind, or asked any living person to damage property, people, wildlife or the natural world in any way. I can only condemn the unnecessary tragedies we keep seeing around us and I am angry that they are being done in my name. Neither I, nor the Gaia Foundation, have ever supported this kind of mindless terrorism – and I use that word advisedly because that is what it is. The real perpetrators are cowards who hide behind the innocent name of a trust and an individual who only want to bring peace and harmony between humanity and the rest of nature. Our political dealings have been misconstrued and warped into a call to arms. This was never the intention and I apologise for any misunderstanding I may have inadvertently caused with poor communication. I want justice and compensation for the families and relatives of all the victims of these terrible acts, and I will pay for any court costs and reimburse all expenditure and moneys spent in obtaining that compensation, which I know will never put right the damage and tragedy, but is something that needs to be done.
I wish for all violence, bombing, arson, demonstrations and riots to cease with immediate effect. To have violence done in my name is both offensive and unjust. I condemn any person who hides behind the name of Falco or Gaia to commit their anonymous and cowardly acts of terrorism and I wish the general public to know that I had no personal involvement with any of this horrific death and destruction, which I find utterly abhorrent.
However, I want to make it known that I do feel guilty and indirectly responsible for some of the tragedy. If anyone has heard or read my words and misinterpreted them as a call to arms or to cause such misery then I can only offer my sincerest apologies. It was never meant thus. In a spirit of naivety and a feeling of overwhelming pain and sadness I am going to surrender myself to the police and to the mercy of our justice system. I will not plead guilty in court, for all of this was never meant to happen, but neither will I plead innocent. I will leave it to you to judge whether I am responsible or not.
I will speak the truth always and be perfectly transparent and helpful with any evidence I am asked to produce. I throw myself at your mercy and ask you to believe in my innocence. My entire mission – and that of the Gaia Foundation – is only about survival and working together to save our beautiful planet. Thank you.”
Gene and the rest of the Gaia team had tried to dissuade me, as it might look like I was admitting guilt, but I managed to turn them round eventually by asking for their trust in me. They very reluctantly gave me a kind of blessing.
The police kept me under a kind of house arrest – for my ‘own safety’, they told me. I wasn’t officially arrested, and of course I was ‘innocent until proven guilty’. Except there was no impending court case … yet. The families of the deceased were screaming for me to be incarcerated for a thousand years, or pleading for the return of the death penalty.
‘Hanging’s too good for that Falco! Bloody murderer!’ one mother screamed into the camera; a clip shown again and again on the news. My innocence was irrelevant. Most people would just see that clip, their hearts would go out to her, and they would despise me. That’s how the media and the modern world worked. Facts and details just got annoyingly in the way.
I attempted to make peace with myself, the world, and my fate. Luckily, I had a great deal of time alone to work on it during my house arrest. Ala and the others kept me company when they could but they also had a lot to do behind the scenes trying to get things for the Gaia Foundation back on an even keel. It was all about public relations now. Ala and Gene made innumerable appeals; speeches, interviews and public appearances, always carefully expressing the innocence of both me and the foundation.
However, many politicians spoke out against me, presumably still resenting the influence I wielded. The electorate responded better to me and my message than they did to any politician, so no wonder they felt anger towards me. If they could weaken my popularity by ruining my reputation then their own status and significance might begin to improve. If you rely on votes for your career, then I guess you’ll stoop to any level to achieve them. That explains most of what we need to know about corruption in politics.
Eventually, lawsuits were brought against me – most of which
were thrown out of court without me needing to appear. The list of civil actions multiplied, keeping my large legal team incredibly busy. It became an offensively massive waste of money too, which would have been better spent on researching renewable power sources and tackling pollution. But what else could I do?
I considered not fighting the lawsuits, and accepting the consequence of each one. Perhaps I’d have been better off in prison? But I was always outvoted on this by the Foundation’s Board. That’s the problem with moral dilemmas – there’s never an easy or obvious answer.
What horrified me were the reactions worldwide.
Demonstrations, storming of official buildings, strikes, student sit-ins, marches, boycotts and flash mobs; sadly, most of these ended in fighting, riots, and ‘smash-and-grab’ looting. This situation was getting worse. Was it being done in anger against me, or in support of our cause but just taking the wrong route? It was difficult to pinpoint exactly. The police and army were called in to deal with the unrest, but only found themselves being charged at, abused, kicked, punched, bitten, or even stabbed. People threw bottles, coins and fireworks at them. When it came to the point when members of the general public began to throw incendiaries or even shoot guns, then it was clear that it had all gone way too far. Nobody had control of the situation. It was anarchy. Chaos. Madness. Armageddon.
‘It’s the end of the world!’ Gene spoke the words we were all thinking.
‘Or the end of humanity,’ Ala said, calmly. ‘Gaia will survive. The planet will not disappear, but human beings might. Perhaps this is the only real way to save the world?’
‘Are you suggesting that Gaia has caused this madness to sweep away the species that most threatens her?’ Vriksha asked. ‘For it is something I have been wondering myself for a little while now.’
‘Whether we can say Gaia has caused it, or that human beings are bringing it all on themselves, is a moot point,’ Ala replied expressionlessly.
And then I heard about a spate of suicides all linked with my name. Had the world gone mad? What on earth had I done to cause this? I racked my brains and tried to think of any words I had spoken, or actions I had performed, to drive someone to kill themself. This was ridiculous. At first, I thought it had been done out of anger against me. That someone hated me so much that my mere existence had caused them to end their own lives. But Ala sat me down and carefully explained, ignoring my exasperated frown.
‘These people are so passionate about their trust and belief in you, that they would rather die than see you mistreated. In some way they think that their deaths will either extend or replace yours. They died in order to save your life. It seems it might be they who have the messiah fixation, not you.’
‘If you believe in some kind of afterlife, then physical earthly death is just one inevitable step on a much longer spiritual journey. If you believe that, then death is nothing to be worried about,’ Vriksha said.
So I spoke to the Prime Minister, Home Secretary and the Lord Chief Justice, who, although still a little wary and suspicious of me and my methods, granted me a special dispensation. While they couldn’t prove any foul play on my part, I still felt that they saw me as a problem and a troublemaker. I assumed they preferred to keep tabs on me – after all, conventional wisdom says “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”.
Chapter Sixteen
Falco, please come home. Falco? You need to come home …
Ala?
At first I looked around to see if she was nearby. Vriksha noticed the change in my expression as I glanced round.
I heard it too, Luke. You go. I’ll take over here. There are plenty of us.
I gave a wry smile and nod. We both knew Ala would only call for something very important. I hoped it wasn’t another earthquake on the scale of the last one in Scotland.
We were in West Java, Indonesia, on a mission to demonstrate against a factory and company that still pumped gallons of dangerous chemicals daily into the Citarum River. Some people call it the dirtiest river in the world, and recent studies show it’s a thousand times above the acceptable level of cleanliness. We took with us a film crew and some eminent scientists to do some experiments on the water and to show how poisoned the river is, when so many depend upon it for fishing, washing and drinking.
The campaign also involved talking to business leaders and politicians in the area, drumming up local support and explaining how they could put pressure on their leaders to improve things. Of course, we knew a few days of protests wouldn’t change a great deal, but we were setting something bigger in motion and planning to return again later for back-up action.
So, with Vriksha’s blessing, I transformed into Falco peregrinus and soared away, returning to Nigeria, Ala’s homeland, over blustery oceans and through translucent clouds. This was the place where I’d first met Vriksha and Hudor, got to know Ala so intimately, and where our little tribe had grown into the network now known as the Gaia Foundation.
In the middle of the clearing in Enugu, I noticed Ala looking up, waiting for me, as if she’d predicted my arrival. As I came in to land, I managed to time my change perfectly, so that exactly at the moment before landing I changed shape and my human feet crunched onto the sandy red ground.
I studied Ala’s serious face.
She passed me a long, brown and gold patterned Isiagu shirt which I pulled over my head. It hung down just above my knees and felt perfect in this heat. Behind Ala, Hudor and the others appeared.
We have bad news, Falco. Guy believed he was ready at last to try one more transformation. He said his numen was strong.
Guy had already been human, magpie, toad, spider, ocelot, squid … what else could he now become? He often spoke about a new human form and the freedom this might give him, which surprised me as he’d never looked comfortable as Guy the teenage boy. Having no human body allowed him to retreat into the dark mysteries of the natural world which is where he felt most content. Our so-called civilised world of houses, school and work wasn’t really something he’d ever come to terms with or properly understood.
‘I want to see him.’
That’s not a good idea. Hudor ‘spoke’ with his usual air of authority.
‘Show me where he is!’
Ala took my hand and guided me into the hut behind the meeting place, normally used for silent contemplation. All the usual paraphernalia had been removed. I ducked my head under the low doorway and into the murky room. In the middle, a large patterned blanket covered something lumpen. Ala pinched one corner and flung the blanket to one side.
There before me was a mass of limbs, flesh and body parts, misshapen and randomly assembled. Not a number of creatures hurled together, but one deformed and nightmarish monster. A human hand erupted from the end of a tentacle; a beak sprouted from a hairy belly; broken wings hung uselessly from a spider’s head; mandibles and eyes had exploded and burst upon each other …
I saved him once. I could do it again! I remembered bringing him back to life after the freak earthquake at school. Surely it was worth a try?
Ala held my head firmly in her hands and shook her head. She’d read my thoughts.
No, Falco. Do you not think I tried? She showed me a cut on her hand. Many of us tried.
But what if I can … maybe I—
We must accept that he is dead. It happens. People live and then they die. We must have faith if we want to believe in more.
Faith in what? The world went out of focus.
That night I slept badly. I woke up at one point in the arms of Ala who whispered and shushed until I drifted away again. The next time I woke as Felis, stroked by Ala. But even this couldn’t compete with my utter exhaustion. Changing into Falco woke me up yet again. The desire to flap my wings and take off became too great to resist, but Ala held me tight.
Then I came back to consciousness stronger, more alert, but alone.
We chose to bury Guy rather than cremate him. His minerals, proteins, bacteria and elements w
ould be subsumed back into the soil and the atmosphere, to be reused or to feed other living organisms. It was the perfect way to imagine Guy living forever.
I wondered how the hell I could continue without him. Thank God I had Ala and Gene.
Guy’s death didn’t hit the headlines. He was always so unassuming and modest about his incredible achievements – brilliant traits in a genuine leader, although our stupid culture tends to look up to those who are arrogant and self-confident, rather than those who are sensitive and thoughtful. Individuals like Guy are the true inspiration in life, but they often go unheard or unappreciated. It’s the quiet ones we should actually listen to.
Of course we had to carry on without Guy – even though I felt bereft. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Guy.
After three days of mourning, Ala called a council meeting.
We have lots of big decisions to make. Guy would want us to continue as before. We have no reason to stop.
Even though he no longer walked among us, Guy was still present with us in spirit. His spirit would live forever. I believed that. He now lived with and inside Gaia, who was in us all.
Guy always wanted us to ‘find’ his mother. He would never really answer my questions about where or who she was. All he told me was that his mother was Gaia, but what did that really mean? It all felt so vague and distant. Was she Guy’s physical mother? Was he talking metaphorically? Mother Nature? But who or what was that exactly? Some ghostly spirit making animals and plants grow? Some kind of life force or essence that filled us with the energy to be alive? Could we communicate with her? Did she watch us or even care about what happened to us? The lack of answers left me so frustrated.
Ala spoke to me of her beliefs: Mother Earth, Chukwu, her ‘Chi’, but I couldn’t directly relate to it, as much as I respected her faith in it all. It felt distant and foreign. Just like when religious people attempt to evangelise and convince you about their ideas.
The only part of it that resonated with me was the concept of ‘mother’. Not so much Mother Nature, but my own mum. Once again, I’d neglected her. My mission and my work had taken me away from what really mattered, and at a time too when my family needed me the most.
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