by Kimber White
Luke threw his head back and wailed, but I felt the pulse in my ears begin to grow steady. When he looked back at me, his pupils dilated, then narrowed to pinpoints. He saw me.
I brushed my palm along the hard ridge of his head, flattening the silver fur. The fight went out of Luke. Bas kept him down but waited to shift. Luke was calmer, but still a deadly threat. Then, Luke’s eyes went dim and he let out a sigh. His head rolled back and the silver fur seemed to bubble and roll. His shoulders popped and stretched as Luke sank into the shift. With one more heaving sigh, he became human again. He coughed and sputtered as he still bore the weight of Bas’s wolf on the center of his chest.
Pat stepped to Bas’s side and put a hand on his head, drawing him backward. The threat was passed. Bas snorted then sat down. His own fur rolled and shimmered as he shifted back as well. And so there I sat on the snow, in the middle of the woods between two huge, stark naked, and furious werewolves.
Bas moved back first. Shaking, he rose to his feet. His hand went to a deep gash Luke had torn out of his shoulder. Pat stepped forward and pressed her fingers at the edges of the wound just like she’d done to me. I got the impression Pat knew her way around werewolf bites.
“It’s not too deep. I’ll stitch it later. Let’s get you back inside.” Then, she turned to Luke, hitched up her pant legs, and squatted down beside him.
“I missed you,” she said, leaning forward to tousle his hair. She cupped his jaw between her palms and kissed his forehead. I put a hand over my mouth to stifle unbidden laughter. It was the strangest, most tender scene, and I wasn’t expecting it. Luke’s chest still heaved from just-spent rage. He looked at his mother like she’d sprouted horns. Before he could even react, she pulled herself back to her feet and slapped Bas on the arm.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s give him a moment to collect himself. We’ve got a lot to talk about, and you’re about to freeze your balls off, alpha dog.”
Bas harrumphed but started back up toward the house. Pat shot me a conspiratorial wink and waddled up after him. He held an arm out to help her through the deepest part of the snow. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head as I watched a seventy-year-old woman make her way up the hill on the arm of a strapping, naked man. I was beginning to understand that strange was par for the course around shifters.
“Did he hurt you?”
Luke’s voice sounded strange, almost forced, as if the strain of using his vocal chords for human speech actually caused him pain. His fingers played along my earlobe as he turned my head toward his.
“What? Oh.” I’d nearly forgotten Bas’s bite. For a few brief seconds, I’d actually believed he was going to kill me. I realized now that was precisely the point. Bas knew the one thing that might bring Luke running was the thought that I might be in danger. Warmth flooded through me at the same time I wanted to throttle them both.
“I’m fine,” I said. “Are you?”
I tried hard to stop thinking about Luke’s nakedness. It wasn’t easy as he sat with his legs sprawled in the snow, his fingers laced through the hair at the nape of my neck. I wanted to be mad at him. He’d scared me worse than Bas did. Pushing me away after sharing what we had still stung.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his words still coming out stilted and hard. “I was afraid I’d hurt you.”
And that was the crux of it. The thing I couldn’t deny. No matter what else happened, Luke seemed to know what was in my heart better than I did. I just wished he weren’t so scared of letting me all the way into his.
Now though, my heart cracked down the center at the pain in his eyes. I traced the line of his brow with my thumb then leaned down to kiss him. I wanted to rage at him. Throttle him for pushing me away. But now, with his body close to mine all I could think about was how much I needed him near me. A sob caught in my throat and Luke’s arm went around me. He was heat and light, strength and power. If his words were hard to come by, his body was finally at ease. He pulled me across his lap and kissed me. I felt like I could drown in the sensation of his soft lips feathering against mine. I ran my fingers over the sculpted lines of his chest. He kept me warm, cradling me in his arms as I sank into the kiss. Finally, when he pulled away, his eyes flashed with living fire as he held my gaze.
“I think the only way you can hurt me is if you push me away again. You keep forgetting, I know your heart. You made it beat inside of me. Remember?”
Luke’s smile devastated me and made me whole again all at the same time. “Is it too soon for me to tell you I love you?”
Those three simple words released a dam of emotion inside me I hadn’t realized I’d been holding back. My eyes welled with hot tears as I traced the line of his jaw. I couldn’t stand not touching him. Not kissing him. It had to be zero degrees outside, but in the middle of the wilderness, in Luke’s arms, I had all the warmth I needed.
His hands were everywhere. Touching, caressing, coaxing. He left me breathless as he lifted me off the ground and set me on my feet. I had my back against the oak tree again, and Luke’s touch set me on fire. He slid a hand under the thick layer of my coat and sweater; his fingers found the hard nub of my left nipple and he tweaked it gently, sending a fresh wave of heat straight through me. I wanted him. I would always want him. No matter what happened, he could wash it all away with just a kiss. I was lost to him the instant he touched me that first time. It thrilled me and scared me all at once. But, whatever was happening, I couldn’t stop.
Again, Luke pulled away first. His growl shuddered through me, but his back went stiff and he pulled himself away. “Tamryn. I can’t.”
He staggered backward and his wolf eyes glinted. For an instant I worried he’d lose control again. I looked up toward the house and gauged how long it would take me to get Bas and Pat’s attention if I lost Luke again. No. I wouldn’t lose him again. Not this time.
“I want you so much it hurts. The only time I feel like me is when I’m with you. But if I lose control again. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I don’t ever want to do that again.”
I pressed my hand flat against his chest. “Then don’t. I don’t understand what’s happening to you. Not the werewolf part. But, you wigged out on me the other day. I need to know you won’t ever do that again, Luke. I mean it. You need help.”
He took a step back and that wounded look went back into his eyes. “I know. God. I know.”
“Whatever’s going on with you, it’s too big for you to handle by yourself. That’s what your mother and Bas said. They’re right, aren’t they?”
Luke worked the muscles of his jaw then dropped his head in a slow nod. “Maybe. I’ve tried everything else.”
“Okay then. So let’s figure out what you need to do so you don’t feel like you’re losing control all the time. I want you back. They want you back. And if it’s all the same to you, I’d like you to be able to figure out how to shift without needing that overgrown Husky up there to half tear my throat apart to get your attention.”
I got a half smile out of him that melted me. He leaned down and put a chaste kiss on my forehead. Well, as chaste a kiss as I was likely to get considering he still wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. I couldn’t help myself. I reached around and ran a hand over the marbled muscle of his perfect ass. I knew a part of me was lying. Luke wasn’t the only one who struggled for control.
He took my hand in his and we started up the trail toward the house together.
Chapter Twenty
I showed Pat into my grandfather’s room. She set about finding something for Luke to wear. It was after nine in the morning, and my heart fluttered with worry. Whether he could hear me or not, I’d promised Grandpa I’d be there first thing in the morning. While Luke and the others settled in downstairs, I took a moment to call Corrie Blackstone.
“He had a good night,” she said, through a yawn. I felt terrible for waking her as she’d just gotten off the night shift. “I checked with the cardiologist for you. He starts his r
ounds at eleven. You’re going to want to be there for that, but don’t hurry out of the house now. The roads are slick. Take your time.”
“Thanks, Corrie. For everything. You’re my guardian angel.”
She let out a snort, and I knew she was smiling on the other end of the phone. “Honey. I told you. We really do look out for each other in this town, with a few rare exceptions. Someday you’ll get to repay the favor if you stick around long enough.”
I thanked Corrie again and hung up. For a moment, her words lifted me, but soon enough a heavy weight settled over my chest. I had to go to Grandpa, and soon. He needed me. Even though I hated the thought of leaving Luke again even for a second. I’d just gotten him back.
I threw on a fresh pair of clothes and twisted my unruly red locks into a ponytail, then headed downstairs. The hushed voices coming from the kitchen made me stop halfway to the landing.
“You’re impossible.” Bas punctuated his words with what I assumed was his fist slamming on the table. “You’re in your head too fucking much. This is simple, Luke. You want to do the lone wolf thing, fine. But you still have to be what you are. You know what that girl is, so do something about it.”
Gooseflesh prickled along my spine. That girl. Me? What exactly was I?
“Don’t talk to me like you know what’s in my head. You have no clue. I made one stupid mistake when I was an eighteen-year-old kid, and I’ve been paying for it for over ten years. He made me a monster, Bas. It’s in me. Forever.”
“Bullshit.” Bas started to shout him down then lowered his voice to a whisper again. “You’re not a monster. Your brother was the monster. Your half-brother. And he’s gone now. It’s over. Take your life back and quit being afraid of who you are. In case you hadn’t noticed, she’s not afraid of you.”
“Luke.” Pat’s voice was soft, loving. “It’s not good for you to try and shut yourself off from everything out here. You need to come home.”
“I am home. The cabin is fine.”
Bas’s thick, bitter laugh made the floorboards vibrate. “Yeah. We saw how fine it is. You tore it apart. Jesus. Your way isn’t working. You know what will. I’ve seen it. You’ve seen it. Make her understand and be done with it. You keep going how you’re going and you will be a problem.”
“Bas.” Pat’s voice lost all emotion. “You promised this wouldn’t be about threats.”
“Pat. You know how much I respect you. There isn’t a single member of any of the Wild Lake packs who wouldn’t die for you. We know exactly what your alliance with us has cost your family over the years. But you’re not a wolf. There comes a certain point in time when you have to let us take care of things our way. If Luke can’t get his shit under control, I’m authorized to take actions.”
Wood scraped on wood. Pat’s voice moved further away. I crept the rest of the way down the stairs and hugged the wall, keeping myself hidden behind the grandfather clock in the hallway. Pat stood in the kitchen with her hands folded and her back to Bas and Luke at the kitchen table. Luke sat with his head in his hands, his fingers carved through his dark hair.
“You’re talking about my son, Sebastian. My son. He’s not responsible for what Asher made him do.”
“It’s not what Asher made me do,” Luke said, not lifting his head. “It’s what I am now.”
Pat turned and slammed her hands down on the kitchen counter. “Right. What you are is my son. You’ve been through hell. But you’ve come through it. You’re still whole. That makes you the strongest werewolf I’ve ever known. And I’ve been around some of the fiercest Alphas you’ve ever seen for a lot longer than either one of you have been alive. For more than fifty years my family has sheltered the Wild Lake packs when you needed it. Turned all of Wild Lake over to you so you could have sanctuary and a real home. I’ve tended your wounds. Raised some of your children, taken you into my heart and soul. But I will not stand around while you talk about my son like there’s something wrong with him, Bas.”
Bas rose. His jaw twitched with contained fury. He drew his shoulders back and white-knuckled the chair. A tremor ran through him, and his wolf eyes glinted as he held back the beast. “I came here because you asked me for help. But it’s not the only reason. I’m here on behalf of all the packs. We have a member who’s a risk. You know it. He knows it. Luke, you can’t keep going like this. You are going to hurt someone or yourself. So, you have two choices and not a lot of time to make one. If you want to live alone, you know what you need to do. Otherwise, I’m taking you back with me as your Alpha.”
“Bas,” Pat pleaded.
Bas put up a hand to silence her but he kept his eyes locked with Luke’s. “Your choice, but if you wait too long, I’m going to make it for you.”
Luke lifted his head out of his hands and slowly rose. He stood nose to nose with Bas. I shuddered and pressed my back even harder against the wall. They didn’t speak. Neither of them moved a muscle, but the challenge in their eyes hung thick in the air. I’d seen their feral rage on display in the woods but knew at least Bas had been holding back. If he went after Luke again, for real, one of them would die.
They held themselves like that for a few agonizing moments. The palpable tension made it hard for me to even draw breath. Then, Bas dropped his shoulder and gave a quick nod. “Good. We’re clear.”
Luke gave a pained look toward Pat but slowly nodded. Pat opened her mouth to say something, but this time Luke held up a hand and just sighed instead. Then, Bas walked to the sliding door leading out to the porch and stepped outside. He became a blur of motion as he shifted. He’d cast off his clothing so quickly it seemed to hang in midair for a second before it fell in a heap on the wooden deck and he disappeared back into the woods. I didn’t have to have werewolf senses to know he wouldn’t go far.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped out from behind the grandfather clock and joined Pat and Luke in the kitchen. His face brightened the instant he saw me. Pat hadn’t moved from her spot by the sink. As soon as she saw me, she tried to turn, but she wasn’t fast enough. Tears fell from her eyes as she turned back toward the window and tried to hide it from me.
“I’m going to head into town for a bit,” she said, sniffling and trying to cover it with a fake cough. “I’ll leave the two of you to talk.” She shot a furtive smile toward Luke as she brushed past me. She put a hand on his cheek as she headed for the front door. Then she was gone, leaving Luke and me alone again.
I felt nervous around him for the first time. Whatever had happened between him and Bas meant more than I understood. But, I could see the gravity of whatever choice Bas laid out for Luke in the new lines creasing his brow.
“Do you want to explain to me what that was all about?”
Of all things I could have said, that brought a smile out of him. Luke’s face brightened and the light went back into his eyes. “So we weren’t very sneaky, huh?”
“Hmm. I’m getting that subtlety isn’t really one of your werewolf superpowers.”
“Ah, no.”
“And I’m also getting that whatever ultimatum you just got, part of it has to do with me.”
Luke’s face lost color again, but he didn’t break my gaze. He pursed his lips together and gave me a grim nod. “There’s some things I need to tell you.”
I put a hand up. “And I want to hear them. All of them. No secrets. No holding back. No more talk about how you just want to protect me. I’m not fragile, Luke. Not by a long shot. I may not be were, but I’m stronger than I look.”
He came to me then and slid his arms around my waist and pulled me close. “Oh, I think I have some inside information about exactly how strong you are.”
A blush heated my face and heat shot straight through me and pulsed between my legs. God, how could he do that? How could he make me ready for him with just a single touch or a look? It was as if my body was born for his. Now that he was back, even the slightest time apart was going to be agony. But, Luke wasn’t the only one who needed me. I had expl
ained to Luke and the others how dire Grandpa’s situation was.
“I have to go to the hospital. I need to meet with the doctors and find out what the next step for Grandpa is.”
Luke kissed my forehead. “Do you want me to go with you?”
My heart fluttered as I played back the last time Grandpa got a look at Luke. “Not really a good idea. I appreciate the offer, truly. But I think your being there would do more harm than good right now.”
Luke nodded. “Right. I know he’s not my biggest fan.”
“Give him time. If he gets through this.”
I rested my head in the hollow of Luke’s shoulder where it seemed to fit the best. It would be so easy to just stay here and let him hold me. I could pretend that whatever demon Luke fought, whatever choice Bas needed him to make, we could hold it all at bay outside these four walls. But, nothing ever works like that.
“I’ll be back in a couple of hours. As soon as I hear the game plan for his treatment, and make sure he’s resting comfortably. You promise you’ll still be here when I get back?”
Luke nodded and gave me a feigned salute.
“Good.” I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him. “We have more bedrooms in the house than people. This house was built when there were a lot more Redbirds around. Why don’t you and your mom make yourself comfortable? Uh. Bas too.”
Luke let out a laugh when he saw the expression that must have been on my face. “You are stronger than I gave you credit for. Inviting the likes of Bas Lanier to stay under your very roof.”
I scrunched up my face and gently slapped him in the chest.
“He’s not as bad as he seems,” Luke said. “He’s Alpha to the largest pack in Wild Lake and he’s kept them strong and together for close to a decade. He’s not used to deciding things by committee. Besides, you should see him when he’s at his day job. He’s actually the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation we run. He wears a suit and everything. But, when it comes to pack issues, he’s not used to running things by committee.”
