“Look, I need to go. I really don’t want to rush you into anything, I don’t. But five more seconds standing in this door, and I’m pushing you up against it.”
My brain is fuzzy, and I struggle to hone in on his words instead of his lips brushing the ridge of my ear. My brain says, “You, me, door? Yes, please.” But my lips only let out a contented sigh.
He presses a kiss to my temple, and his fingers dig into my hips with a territorial squeeze, then he steps back, releasing another tortured groan.
Wait, is he leaving? Why is he leaving?
“You, me, Aria. Breakfast at the shop in the morning?”
I nod dumbly, my racing brain going entirely too fast for my mouth to catch up. Weren’t we about to … did I read that all wrong? My fuzzy, lust-filled mind stammers with objections but all that comes out is “Um … uh … okay?”
He’s backing away, leaving me standing on the doorstep, speechless and dumbfounded. He turns his back and bounds down the steps, looking back twice with a questioning glance, but not saying a word.
I step inside and shut the door, wondering where I went wrong and why in the hell my mouth refused to work. I turn the dead bolt, listening to it click with finality.
My mind reels, trying to think of what signal I gave that made him leave and coming up empty. I did everything I could to give him the green light … well, short of actually saying the words, that is.
Why in the hell did I not just say the words?
Before I think better of it, before stupid-ass propriety shows up to the party and ruins everything, I unlock the dead bolt and throw open the door with steely determination.
“Wait!” I call out before my eyes focus on the man standing directly in front of me.
“Thank God,” he groans as he crashes his lips to mine.
* * *
Fumbling hands, searching lips, and labored breaths fill the room as we slam the door and he shoves me up against the wall. His tongue dives into my mouth as he hitches my knee on his hip and grinds into me.
“Yes,” I hiss, my body rolling into his, trying to chase the delicious ache that’s already building inside of me.
He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and pulls, sending a jolt of electrified heat straight to my core. His hands run along my waist, my back, my ass, eating up the expanse of my skin with heavy palms and frenzied fingers.
My love for him is a current pulsing through my veins, flowing between my legs … the all-encompassing emotion of it, the feelings erupting inside of me are almost too much to bear. I grasp blindly at his shirt, looking for buttons, zippers, any damn thing that will unwrap the present in front of me.
“Is it too soon?” he rasps between open-mouthed kisses, pressing his forehead to mine. “Tell me it isn’t too soon, Autumn.”
Is he serious right now?
“Not soon enough, Seb. Not. Soon. Enough,” I chant, each tug of his belt, shirt, jeans punctuated with impatience.
He rips his lips away from mine and steps back, his clothes a disheveled wreck hanging off his body. He grabs the hem of my sundress and slowly drags the fabric up and over my body. Fabric silently hits the floor, and Seb’s eyes turn molten.
“Damn,” he whispers, his eyes never meeting mine, never tearing away from his heated perusal of my body. He charges forward, his lips crashing into mine as his shirt meets my dress on the floor beside us.
Skin on skin, his chest meets mine, and I groan into his mouth. He swallows it down, takes everything I give him, and wraps my legs around his waist. We stumble to the bedroom, a tangled mess of longing and need, attacking each other’s mouths the entire way.
I unlatch my legs and slide down the front of him, Seb unlatching my bra on the way down. Cold air hits my nipples, followed by wet heat and sweet, sweet suction.
“Yes,” I rasp, throwing my head back in ecstasy, pushing my hips into his denim-covered, rock-hard cock. Too much material stands between me and what I want. What I desperately need. I fist his hair between my clenched fingers, and he nips me with his teeth.
Belt buckles clang.
Bed springs creak.
Old memories intertwine with new, and the enormity of this moment … this man … wraps around my heart and squeezes.
I’ve been waiting for you, Autumn. I’ve been waiting for so long.
His tongue trails down my stomach as thumbs loop around my panties and tug. I shut my eyes, anticipating his hips settling between mine. Craving the pressure of him, heavy and full, pushing against my entrance.
The elastic drags down my thighs, slow and teasing, biting into the skin on the way down, down, down. Until he stops cold, my panties tangled and knotted at my knees.
I open one eye and find Seb kneeling between my legs, boxer briefs half shoved down one hip, arms helpless at his sides as he stares down at me.
At my uncovered skin.
At my scar.
Shit…
I raise a hand to cover my belly, and he bats it away. His fists clench and unclench as too many emotions flit across his face. I hold my breath, waiting for what comes next. He blows out a breath, finally meeting my gaze with sorrowful eyes.
A car alarm sounds from down below, stopping time, stretching the moment like a rubber band, keeping us in this place of bittersweet memory and regret.
I saw you, and I loved you.
I left you, and I’m sorry.
I lied, and I can’t take it back.
A decisive beep-beep restarts the clock, and an electrified silence fills the room. I reach for him. He pulls away and bows over my stomach.
“I’ll never leave, Autumn. Never again.”
He runs a reverent thumb over the scar that stretches across my abdomen. A frisson runs across the cinched skin as he presses his lips along it. It always feels a bit numb there, tingly, like the scar has fallen asleep. But not today. Every touch soothes hurt feelings, sands down the edges of resentment that have sharpened over the years.
His touch is healing. His kiss a promise for the future.
My heart will accept nothing less.
He lifts his eyes to mine, lips hovering over my skin as his breath dances across it.
“Big moments. Little moments. I’ll be here for all of them.” His thumbs press into my belly, and I give him my eyes. “Do you know that?”
“Yes.”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes, I trust you.” I reach down and run a hand through his mussed hair and tug his ear. “I trust you, and I love you.”
He shuts his eyes, and his body goes limp in relief. He nuzzles his face into my stomach, and I giggle. He jerks up, looking offended by my laughter.
“What? It tickles,” I say, another peal of laughter rolling through me as he tickles behind my knees. “Come here, you big jerk!”
He grabs behind my knees, rips off my panties, then pulls himself up until we’re nose to nose, his eyes dancing. His hips settle in between mine, and I shiver.
My anticipation feels like cotton candy—airy and melt-in-your-mouth delicious.
He runs his nose along the ridge of mine and grins. “I love you, Autumn Norris. Always have, always will. How I feel about you has been the one constant in my life.”
“Always,” I whisper.
My hips roll underneath him, craving the friction, needing a physical release to follow the flood of emotions humming through my veins. I run a palm down his back, then smack his half-covered ass. He scowls, doing his best to look insulted.
“I need these off and you inside me,” I whisper, teasing his lips with my tongue.
I tug at the fabric with my toes, pulling the waistband then letting go with a pop. He hops up from the bed and grabs his discarded jeans from the floor.
The cold air hits my skin, and I resist the urge to cover myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Sebastian this way. Since he’s seen me. There’s a fair amount of nerves that come with that knowledge.
The scar on my belly isn’t the on
ly thing that’s changed in five years. Same for Sebastian. The years have been kind to him—long, lean muscles, sexy, bearded scruff, and a textured depth to his eyes that suggests there’s more to him than meets the eye.
Everything about him, old and new, is intoxicating.
I hope he feels the same about me.
He jumps back onto the bed, a condom dancing between his fingers, and I laugh.
“Carrying condoms around in your pocket? Aren’t we confident.” I smirk, and he shrugs.
“Sometimes I have more hope than sense.” He throws off his boxers and tosses them onto the pile on the floor. “Worked out this time, didn’t it?”
My eyes widen at the sight of him, but he doesn’t notice me gawking. His body is beautiful, hard and jutting, ready for me. My body spasms at the thought.
He trails his hands up my legs, widening them on his ascent. His thumbs graze my center, light pressure, barely dusting across my skin. He continues the gentle torture over and again. I push into his thumbs, try to increase the pressure, but he backs away every time.
“Please Seb, you’re killing me,” I groan.
“Please what? Where do you need me?” I hear the tease in his tone as his thumbs brush half a centimeter away from where I’m aching. He drops a kiss to my knee. “Here?”
“Jerk.”
Kisses my stomach.
“There?”
I whip my head to the side and cover my face with my hands. “You’re evil.”
“You’re gorgeous,” he volleys back. “I can’t stop looking at you. I can’t stop touching you.”
His fingers push inside me, and my body grips him with ferocious need. He lowers his head between my legs and sucks, and I detonate, my body exploding into white, hot heat. My inside pulsating with a rhythm so intoxicating, it feels like drowning. My breath is lost, my muscles tight like a bow, my legs clenching Sebastian’s head like a vice.
I come to in waves. Smell first, sex and sweat. Then sound, panting breaths and the telltale ripping of a wrapper. Then sight, as Sebastian comes into view, eyes filled with lust and hunger.
“You and me,” he whispers.
“Me and you.”
“Yeah.”
“Always.”
He nudges against my entrance and brushes his stubbled cheek against mine. “I’d have waited forever for you, Autumn.”
“I think we’ve waited long enough.”
His lips brush mine as whispered I love yous tumble between us. He enters me in one swift thrust, and my body catches fire, knowing its match, feeling how right we are for each other, deep down to my soul.
Chapter 36
Sebastian
Present Day
Haven, LA
“Who brings one condom to the party?” Autumn slaps my stomach before laying her head on my chest and laughing.
“I said I was hopeful. Bringing a pocketful is overly ambitious if you ask me. Not to mention, tempting fate. Show up for a date with a string of condoms, guaranteed you’re whacking off alone at the end of the night.”
“You’re not whacking off alone.” She lifts her head and raises her eyebrow in challenge.
“I didn’t show up with a pocketful of condoms, either.”
She sighs contentedly as I run my index finger up and down the length of her spine. My phone chirps from the pocket of my jeans, and I reach down to grab it off the floor. I see Brady’s text illuminating the screen, and I bark out a laugh, then show it to Autumn.
Brady: Cry baby thwarted. You owe her hot chocolate—lots of marshmallows. See you at the shop in the AM. You’re welcome, fucker.
“Told you he had tricks.”
I grunt, my mind already moving to tomorrow. Breakfast with Aria, Autumn, and the expertly skilled Brady … planning Aria’s pool party … buying a monstrous crate of condoms.
Autumn’s fingers slide over my chest, ruffling the hair. I place a hard kiss on the top of her head.
“Got a thing for chest hair?”
“Sort of,” she says, then giggles. “I mean, yeah, I think it’s sexy. The feel of it when you rub against my chest … and you look like a real man.”
I burst out laughing, and she shoves me hard.
“I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I have all these memories of young Seb, and I’m trying to marry them with this version of you. So much has changed.”
I lift my head and quirk an eyebrow. “Really? Tell me more.”
“Shut up. You know you’re sexy as hell. Your chest, muscles, beard … your—” She stops short and sniffs.
“No really,” I cough out, my body quaking with laughter. “You must tell me more.”
“No really, shut up.” She hides her faces, then peeks through her hands. “I mean, who knew it would keep on growing. You were eighteen the last time I saw it. It should have been fully grown by then.”
“Okay, stop. You’ve got to stop talking, or I might suffocate from laughing at you.” I give her a tight squeeze, and she hides her eyes again. “There are things about you that are different, too, you know?”
Her body tenses, and her hand absentmindedly moves to her belly. I grab it and return it to my chest.
“That’s the change I love the most. It gave us Aria.” She sighs and presses her lips to my skin. “There are other things, too.”
“Do I want to know?” she asks, cringing.
“Your breasts are fuller, a little more than a handful now. Not complaining, for sure. And your nipples are bigger, too. Perfect for sucking.”
She drops her head, her hair sheltering her face, but I brush it away. “Of course, you’d go straight to boobs. Such a man.”
“I love it. But I also love the things about you that haven’t changed.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Your smile is still the brightest thing in any room. And no matter how much powder you put on, the freckles on the bridge of your nose still peek through. I love that when something happens—good, bad, funny, whatever—you’re the first person I want to tell. It’s always been that way, even when we were apart. It was like a little stab, even on the best days. Like it wasn’t great or even real unless I shared it with you.”
“That’s why it’s so hard for me to let things go,” she whispers, meeting my gaze for a split second, then focusing on my chest. “Every laugh, smile, step … it was all so bittersweet because I wanted to share her with you. Every milestone was a reminder of what I’d taken from you. Every memory something you’d never get back.”
“So you’ll tell me. And I’ll tell you. And we’ll all live happily ever after.” She laughs despite the tears swimming in her eyes. “Why are you laughing? Isn’t that the way the story goes?”
“Sure, if this were a fairy tale,” she says with a laugh.
“Listen, I know we’ll have tough times. I know we won’t always agree. But I know that I love you. And you love me. And that little girl we’ve made together … God, Autumn, I never knew my heart could be so full. So, we’ll make new memories. And nothing about them will be bittersweet because we’ll be together. Right?”
She nods, pressing her lips together, swallowing back the tears she needn’t shed anymore. We’re done with regret as far as I’m concerned. We’re finally moving on with our lives.
“So, speaking of new memories, let’s talk about Aria’s pool party. Not this Saturday, but next? I thought we could invite her class and make it a back-to-school type of thing. Is that cool?”
“Sure, that should be fine. I think. Shit.” She cringes. “School and Aria have me pretty swamped, so I don’t have a lot of time to plan something big.”
“You don’t need to do anything. That’s just it, Autumn. You’re not alone anymore. I’ve got this.”
It’s going to take time; I know it is. She’s so used to doing everything on her own, but she’s got me now. It’s hard to rely on another person, to trust them to pick up where you’ve left off and carry part of the load. But I’m willing to be p
atient and ready to earn her trust. I know she knows it in her heart, but it just may take a while for her head to catch up.
She nods, but her face is ridiculously doubtful.
“What? You don’t think I can plan a party?” She quirks an eyebrow in question. “All right, I may have roped Lexi into helping me. She’s filling in some of the girlie blanks.”
“Lexi?” Autumn’s eyes widen. “She’s probably going to sneak switchblades into the goodie bags.”
“I swear, underneath all that bloody and black, she’s got a gooey center. She’ll do good. She was a little girl once, too.”
“Are we talking about the same person?”
“Just trust me.”
She sighs but settles back onto my chest and snuggles into my side.
“I thought I’d invite Marge and Joe to come out, too. I really want them to meet you and Aria.” I pause, draw in a deep breath for what’s next, and go for it. “I thought I’d invite your parents, too.”
“No.”
“If we just—”
“No.”
“Autumn.”
Silence.
“When was the last time you spoke to them?”
Long sigh. “The day I told them I was renting an apartment from you.”
“Is that really how they want it to be? They’ll turn their backs on you—on their granddaughter—if I’m in the picture?”
“They threatened you and your family and ran you out of town. Honestly, what wouldn’t they do?” She closes her eyes and shakes her head, like she’s tossing the idea out of the room. “I don’t want to know. They’ve caused enough hurt, don’t you think?”
“Okay,” I say, brushing my hand across her cheek and running my fingers through her tousled hair. “Okay.”
I let it go for now. I see her frustration amping up with every question I raise, and I’m getting nowhere fast. I’m not willing to ruin this night, so I put a pin in this topic, saving it for another time. But as far as I’m concerned, the conversation isn’t over.
Chapter 37
Waiting for Autumn Page 19
