by Willow, Jo
I hadn’t considered that. I’d been sleeping with her curled around me for months. I wasn’t sure I could sleep without her either. Especially now.
“Ay’, my folks are old-fashioned in a lot of ways. Especially during the holidays. I know that sounds weird, but even Deacon and Dorothy had to sneak off for private time before the wedding. That’s a hard limit with them. We’re not married, so we can’t sleep together.”
“What if we were engaged?”
I knew I was blinking rapidly, but I couldn’t help it. Where the hell was she going with this? We’d gone from eggnog to engaged at the speed of sound.
She must have seen the look on my face because she scampered away and reached for her clothing. I grabbed her arm to slow her down.
“Slow your roll there woman. You caught me off guard that’s all. Explain your statement please.”
She was blushing and I felt bad for making it happen. I didn’t mean to insult her, she’d surprised me is all.
“If they thought that we were engaged, could we sleep together?”
“Thought we were engaged? Like we’d mislead them?”
“Maybe not intentionally...”
“That’s exactly what it would be. If they got that idea, it would be because we gave it to them. Even then, I don’t think they’d bend on that one. Besides, I don’t feel good lying to my parents. It’s only for a week. We can make do for a week can’t we?”
She shrugged and she looked like a petulant child. It was adorable and it made me want to get her naked.
What in the world has gotten into me? I’m not a horn dog. That’s Anton. I’m not devious with my intentions. That’s Deacon. I’m in control of myself and my thoughts. What the fuck happened? How had this happened, and how could I gain that control back again?
I stared at her, giving her mixed signals. I could feel myself doing it, but I was powerless to stop it. She watched for as long as she could, then shrank from my withering gaze.
“Why are you looking at me as if you’re seeing me for the first time and don’t like what you see?”
I shook my head to free my thoughts.
“I’m sorry Ayla. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We’ve got two days before we walk into ground zero and we’re nowhere near ready. Then to top it off, we complicated our relationship...”
Strike three, I’m out. You know, someday I’ll sit Deacon down and ask him how he got it right. Then I’ll actually pay attention to Anton to see how to get it wrong. This floundering bullshit is for the birds.
She stood and grabbed her clothing while narrowing her eyes at me as if I’d called her a lousy lay. Before she stormed all the way into the bathroom, I made one last ditch effort.
“Ayla, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. It’s just things were so easy before when we were just bed buddies and confidants. Now that you’re my Sub, I’m worried. I’ve never had a Sub that knew my family before...”
She whirled on me with an expression that made me cringe back a step. If steam started puffing from her ears, it would’ve seemed absolutely perfect.
“Your Sub? That’s what this is?”
“Isn’t that exactly what this is? You’ve been throwing yourself at me submissively now for weeks. I want you to know that it’s alright and I’ve made my decision. I’m ready to take on a long-term Sub in a permanent sexual relationship.”
I gave her my sexiest seductive smile and sidled up close to her. I cupped her face and kissed her softly, letting her know how pleased I was with her.
“You’ve proven you’re gifted enough for the position Ayla. I’m ready for a long term relationship now.”
She rested a hand on my chest and I was ready to push her into the shower and make this thing real. She leaned closer and ran her open mouth up my neck, making me shiver. When she got to my ear, she playfully nibbled my earlobe and I moaned. Then she leaned in to whisper.
“If I were you, I’d be very clear in the job description.”
I leaned back, my mind still operating at defcon 2 in the sexual haze department.
“What?”
“For your long term sexual Submissive. Be clear in the job description. It’ll narrow down your applicants.”
She tried to pull away but my grip only tightened.
“What are you saying? I just told you that you’ve filled the position. You’ve won Ayla. You’ve worn me down. We’re an Us. We discussed this. Remember?”
“I remember the part about you’re mine and I’m yours, yes. That was back when I was still calling you Pierce. Back when it was a...”
She struggled and I was starting to get pissed.
“A what Ayla? Spit it out!”
“Look, it doesn’t matter. This Dom - Sub thing doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I’ll move my things back into the guest room until we get the all clear and I can go home. Please excuse me.”
She broke away from me and slammed the bathroom door in my face. I almost marched in to tell her she was wrong and she most certainly WOULD be filling the position as presented, when I heard the lock on the door click. I stood there for the longest time, wondering when the whole thing went from perfect to a perfect hell. Then I heard the water in the shower start. Just as I was turning away, I heard something else. Ayla started to cry.
I’m not sure why it felt like something was squeezing my heart in a vice. I’m not sure if it was because I knew that it was somehow my fault, or if it was because I had a bad feeling that with every tear she shed, she was moving another foot away from me and our life together.
Chapter Five
The months we’d spent together felt like minutes compared to the following two days and the trip to my parents house. Several times I tried approaching her with important information and rules I needed her to follow, only to be met with a hand extended into the air and a slammed bedroom door in my face.
I thought it would be easy once I got her in the confines of a moving vehicle on a four hour road trip. I could not have been more wrong. The conversation went something like this:
Me : “Are you ready to be reasonable?”
Ayla : “Reasonable? You pompous ass! Fuck-you SIR.”
Me : “I thought you didn’t want to call me Sir.”
I was trying to be funny, to alleviate the cloud of doom that had descended over the car and every available space within said car.
Ayla : “Look. I’m here, okay? I agreed to come along because I’m not allowed to be alone and everyone expects me to be with you. Don’t expect me to like it.”
Me : “I could make you like it. Baby.”
I waggled my eyebrows and grinned slyly. It was tried and true. A veritable siren to the female population at large. When I turned that grin and my debonair personality loose, no one of the opposite sex was immune. I’m not bragging, it’s a fact.
She reached into her purse, withdrew something small, and then shot a rubber band at the side of my face from close range. That sucker hurt. She put force behind it too. Damn. This would be trickier than I thought.
I didn’t press my luck again because I now knew for certain that purses contained all sorts of seemingly harmless devices that could be used for pain. Another thing occurred to me. If I was ever cornered, I wanted Ayla and her purse beside me.
We pulled into the drive and never in my life was I so glad to see my family home. The driveway had been plowed so navigation wasn’t difficult, just a few icy spots here and there. The snow banks were huge on either side and the thought of sliding into one and becoming trapped with my lovely companion had me terrified. Images of a “Donner Party” replay, left me in a cold sweat because in her current mood, I don’t think she’d have given it an hour.
I would once again like to take this moment to point out another “weird”. I’m not talking about the kind of weird that makes you go, “Hmm. Fancy that”. I’m talking about a full on, Twilight Zone, “Who the hell are you and what did you do with Ayla?”
type weird.
My father answered the door before I could even knock and Ayla gave him a megawatt smile that would’ve melted the hardest of hearts. My father turned into putty and drew her into a hug.
“Ayla, it’s so good to see you again honey. I’m glad you’re here.”
She hugged him just as fiercely, reaching up on her toes to kiss his cheek.
“Grant, it’s always wonderful to spend time with you and Bree. How is she?”
Dad smiled at her warm mention of my mother while I stood like a kid pressed against the window of a candy store, ogling their closeness with envy.
The screen door almost slapped me in the face as he drew her inside without even addressing my presence. What was I? Stray baggage?
I walked in behind them carrying luggage, leaving the Christmas gifts in the trunk to be retrieved later. My mother was on her in seconds and I was still waiting to be addressed. I know I started to brood, I could feel it happening. I’d been demoted to chauffeur and it wasn’t sitting well. THEN it got weird. Oh you thought that THAT was the weird part? Just wait for it.
Ayla hugged my mother, then turned that dazzling smile to me.
“Babe? What are you doing way over there. Put down the luggage and come hug your mother!”
She took my hand and pulled me to her side before kissing me on the cheek the same way she’d kissed my father. I stood there looking like a cow that had been struck by lightning. I knew I should fall over dead, but the shock still had me on my feet.
My mother wrapped her arms around me and I hugged her back more out of reflex. My dad slapped me on the back and asked if I wanted a drink. Oh hell yes. I definitely needed a drink.
“Sure Dad. Anything’s fine.”
When Ayla slipped her arm around my waist, I almost cowered away, wondering what else she might have pulled from her purse. Once snapped, twice shy.
I leaned down and kissed her temple so it wouldn’t look suspicious when I whispered in her ear.
“Is this some sort of trick?”
She grinned at everyone in the room who was grinning back, as she spoke low enough that only I could hear.
“Your family doesn’t need to know what an asshole you are Pierce.”
I tilted her head up and kissed her soundly, my eyes twinkling at her protection of me and my virtue.
“They already know you silly girl.”
Her eyes narrowed and I kissed her again. I started to relax and enjoy the ruse. Protective Ayla was something new and I found myself enjoying it immensely. That’s when she bit my bottom lip and I pulled back. Never underestimate a woman that’s on to you folks.
I was relaxed and blissfully into denial when Anton decided to stand and tap dance in my canoe. He started testing Melody’s patience by poking her with a stick over how she broke her foot. The thing is, if it had been good-natured, then I believe that even she would have played along. But there was an undercurrent to it. A meanness that felt spiteful and petty. The only interesting thing about it was, he had no clue he was doing it. This made me wonder if deep down he hated her, or he actually loved her and was angry because of her careless injury.
The whole room watched the drama unfold, no one knowing what to do or say. Melody ended his terminal stupidity when she excused herself with the excuse of being tired. Anton looked around with a goofy grin on his face and that’s when it hit him. I could tell the second the penny dropped and I think Deacon could tell as well. The three of us were close and telltale gestures and looks were something we were good at deciphering with one another. Anton’s fake smile was in place and he turned to me with eyes that were pleading for me to tell him that he was wrong. That he hadn’t done what he knew he’d done. He begged me for an alternate reality. All I could do was nod my head once and watch him sit down heavily. In that moment I had my answer. He was in love with Melody Lincoln. The poor, pitiful bastard.
I looked around and took inventory. Dorothy was deep in conversation with Deacon and I wasn’t sure that Melody would discuss this uncomfortable episode with her sister when it came right down to it. Deacon was out as was Anton, (for obvious reasons), and my folks would never presume to intrude upon her privacy. That left Ayla and myself.
I was close to Melody in a strange way. As I’ve said before, I genuinely liked the woman. We gave each other shit, but it was always good natured and affectionate. Out of all of the women in my life, if I were to choose one to suddenly become my sister, Melody would win it hands down. As sweet as Dorothy is, I enjoy Melody’s fire. The woman has attitude and I love her for that. To see my brother try to kick it out of her angers me in ways I can’t even begin to put into words.
All of that must have been playing out in my facial features because the next thing I felt was Ayla’s hand on my arm. I looked down at it as if it were foreign to me. She’d touched me in various ways for months, but not lately and certainly not with any amount of affection. I’d missed that. I knew the difference after having experienced both and this touch, the one I had my eyes glued to at that moment, was pure affection.
I felt my heart hammer in my chest as if it were fighting for escape and I was certain that she could hear it. She had to have heard it. How could she not? My skin tingled beneath my sweater where her small hand had settled on my arm. The current always hit me hard and I often wondered if she felt it as well, but how do you ask someone that? I knew some men were masters of the poetic word and romantic gestures, but that wasn’t me. I wish it were. My life would be so much easier, especially now, if that were the case. Because I’ll admit something else, since I seem to be opening a vein and allowing all my walls to fall in order to tell this story. I have to have control. I need control in order to function. In every setting, in every way, I need to be the orchestrator of my own fate. I can’t do that with Ayla. She won’t allow it. As much as she wants me to believe I have the control between us, she and I both know that’s not the case. Oh she’s lovely enough not to point that out, but I know it just the same. And it kills me. And for some reason, I can’t walk away from her. Not yet. Maybe never. I don’t know yet.
I’m still fixated on that hand, my pounding heart, and the emotions I’m becoming proficient at hiding, when she whispers my name.
“Pierce?”
My eyes move north until they’re fixed on hers. Blue on blue, her gaze every bit as intense as mine, although I suspect it’s for different reasons.
My eyebrows shoot up, inviting her to continue her thought.
“I know you want to go and talk to her, but I think that’s a bad idea.”
I want to ask her why, but I wait because I know that if I do, she’ll give me her reasons in her own time and with less hostility. I’ve grown to know her, you see. Patience is a virtue she admires and finds appealing, so I’ve learned infinite patience where Ayla is concerned. She never disappoints.
“She needs time to process everything he said and she needs to come to her own conclusions. If you interrupt that, this thing could drag out indefinitely. If anyone talks to her, it should be Anton.”
I didn’t know if anyone was watching us and I didn’t care. I heard several muted conversations taking place around us but that didn’t interest me either. We were standing in front of the stairway that led upstairs. Out of the way, but certainly not invisible.
I brought my hands up and cupped her beautiful face. I felt her breath hitch and that caused my own to deepen. I kept my eyes on hers as I moved in closer. I waited for her to give me a sign that she didn’t want this to happen, but that sign never came. Instead, I watched her pupils dilate and that was all I needed. I slid one hand down to her waist and wrapped my arm around her. Pulling her tightly against me, I sealed my mouth over hers. This was no passively sweet, apologetic kiss. I was done with that.
Maybe it was the silent drive up, or the way my parents responded to her. Maybe it was the way she protected me once we got here. Or maybe, it was watching my brother annihilate someone that would have given him the w
orld on a platter if he’d take off the boxing gloves long enough to accept it from her. Then there’s the obvious reason. I fucking wanted her more than I’ve wanted anything in my life. There I said it. I’m sure it’ll come back to haunt me later, but as they say, the truth shall set you free.
I held her face still with one hand and her body still with the other. I knew that she could feel how much I wanted her, but I didn’t care. My focus was on the kiss at the moment and I could only focus on one thing at a time where she was concerned. I darted my tongue out and ran it along the seam of her lips, catching her gasp at the gesture. She opened for me and I felt her tongue tentatively push against my own. Then her arms tightened around me and my soul took flight. This is what it felt like to be owned.
I couldn’t get enough. She tasted of eggnog and happiness. My happiness. Our tongues danced and at some point I decided that I’d just keep on kissing her until New Year. She seemed okay with that. I felt her hand slip into the back pocket of my jeans and then squeeze briefly. I smiled against her mouth and I swallowed her giggle. Playful Ayla was my favorite Ayla.
Someone cleared their throat and I remembered where we were. By the way she flinched, Ayla did as well. She started to jump back but I held her tightly. We were making progress, there would be no retreat. I wouldn’t allow it. As a matter of fact, I’d go one better.
I pulled back and winked. I half turned, keeping my arms around her, thus forcing her to keep her arms around me. The whole family was staring at us. Everyone appeared amused except my parents. They looked positively thrilled and didn’t bother trying to hide it.
My mother spoke first, no surprise there. I’d never brought a woman home before, and I’m sure they viewed this as the first step of many to come. I had no plans of correcting them, because I didn’t know that they were wrong. I hadn’t completely fucked it up with her yet, that was obvious by the kiss we’d just shared. But whether or not we were still on relationship row? Those waters ran deep and I was still shopping for waders. The fact that I was shopping though, meant something.
