I writhe and moan above him, consumed by the ecstasy of Rich’s touch. I feel the pressure building within, like boiling water left too long on the stove. I start to pant, begging Rich for more. His fingers join in at that critical moment. I cry out as the magnificent release sweeps over me. My body shakes and my mind goes numb. All I know, all I feel, is Rich right there below me.
***
“You’re so beautiful when you come,” Rich smiles as he sidles up beside me. My head is still somewhere up in the clouds. It takes a little while for me to process his words.
“That was… amazing,” I decide. I giggle when his hard erection brushes against my leg.
“That was just the start of what I intend to do with you today,” Rich promises, trailing his fingers over the side of my body before kissing my shoulder. “Whenever you’re ready for more…”
“I’m ready now,” I tell him.
“Good.” Rich offers a wicked grin. “Because I wasn’t going to wait much longer.”
Chapter Two
An hour later—or two, or three, it’s impossible for me to tell—I’m nestled under Rich’s strong arm. I take pleasure in the feeling of his body against mine. I feel raw and exhausted. It’s the best type of exhaustion.
I don’t want to do anything except snuggle like this for the next year. I think that’s how long it’ll take for my body to recover. Even my toes are too tired to move.
I bask in the afterglow of our sweet lovemaking. I could get used to living like this. A tiny, irritating voice screams at me from the back of my mind not to forget everything that has brought me here.
I push it down. Today, I’m happy to forget.
I place my hand on Rich’s chest. He’s warm. He smiles at my lazy movement. Then he picks my hand up and matches it to his, palm-to-palm.
“Your hands are so small,” he says through a smile.
It’s the first thing either of us has said for a long time. We’ve both been content in the communal silence.
“Yours are big,” I tell him. “And… skillful.”
“Skillful?” Rich perks an eyebrow, intrigued.
“Very skillful,” I clarify.
“You like them, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Even when they do… this?” Rich’s hands dart to my armpits, the crook at my elbows, and start tickling me.
I erupt in a fit of giggles. “Rich! Rich, stop it!” I try to ward off his arms between words. He’s too quick. I laugh and laugh and swat away at him. Rich laughs, too, before eventually letting me go.
“You’re so going to purgatory for that,” I scold him. Hard as I try, I can’t keep the delight from my voice. It’s been a long time since I’ve had this much fun. Doing it with Rich makes it even better.
Rich suddenly grows solemn. “I’ve done worse things than that,” he confesses.
“Hey, hey,” I chide. “Don’t get like that. I was only kidding.” I smile at him to show I meant no harm.
Rich offers a tight smile back. He pushes himself up so that he’s sitting upright on the bed. “You know, Penny,” he begins with a heavy sigh, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few days.”
“Oh?” I comment warily. I can sense this conversation is about to turn serious.
“Yeah. About you, and about Min. About me. About what I did to you…”
“Oh, no.” I stop him in his tracks. “Don’t you get remorseful on me again, Richard Blackthorne. If this is about Tam and Victor—”
“It’s always about them,” Rich says. “And it always goes back to my father. How many lives has he ruined? I don’t just mean with this. I mean with everything he’s ever done. Hell, I bet I can’t even imagine half the things he’s guilty of. I don’t want to end up like him, Penny.”
I shake my head. “You’re nothing like him.”
Rich grunts. “I try not to be. But I am his son. I have his genes. I keep asking myself: Would anybody else have come up with such an extreme plan if put in my position? Would I have even been capable of thinking it up were I not his son?”
I take him by the chin and guide his head toward me. “Hey! No regrets. Remember?” I kiss him briefly on the lips. “If it weren’t for that, we would have never ended up together.”
“I know,” Rich concedes. He runs his fingers through my hair. “But what if we hadn’t? What if you were someone else?”
“I’m not. So we don’t need to think about it,” I tell him firmly. “I chose to stay with you, remember? I won’t have you feeling guilty over it.”
“I know you did. But I uprooted you from your life. Think of everything you left behind.”
“I didn’t leave anything behind. It wasn’t much of a life. I don’t think I even lived before I met you, Rich. I was a zombie, going through the motions. I’d give it all up again, if I had to, if it meant I would end up with you.”
Rich smiles sadly. “You really mean that?”
“Of course I do!” I snap. I don’t like Rich being penitent. It almost makes me feel like he’s having second thoughts about having me around. “I love you, Rich. Only you. Nothing can change that.”
“I love you too, Penny,” he whispers into my hair.
My stomach clenches and my heart does a flip. There it is!
“Took you long enough to say it again,” I grumble against his chest, secretly concealing my smile.
“What was that?” he asks.
Damn. I forgot how sharp his hearing is. “Nothing,” I say quickly, settling against him once more. “Nothing. Just a hiccup or… something like that.”
Rich chuckles. “It better be.”
“It is,” I stress. I roll my head to the side to look at him. “What else have you been thinking about?”
“Many things,” Rich sighs. “We won’t be able to stay here forever.”
I feel a ray of hope rise inside me. “Does that mean you’re ready to share your plan?” I ask.
Rich swallows. His eyes glaze over and he looks away as he answers. “No. Not yet. But soon.”
“Fine,” I say, laying my head on his chest once more. “Whenever you’re ready to share, I’ll be here waiting. I trust you when you say you’ll do it at the right time.”
“I will.” Rich stands up and stretches. “But now, I feel like we both need a long, hot shower. If you’ll join me?”
***
Min eyes both of us when we finally emerge from the bedroom. She gives me a little wink and a smile. Her brother earns a scowl. Rich chuckles and nudges her shoulder playfully as he walks by.
We have dinner. I’ve built up a ferocious appetite, but it’s nothing compared to Rich’s. He devours everything that’s set in front of him.
We share a bottle of wine Min picked up at the store. It feels very domestic to eat like this. I know it can’t last—not when there’s so much in the air. But it’s nice to pretend for a bit.
Rich retires to our room early, picking up the notebook he’s been scribbling in the last few days. I haven’t asked what’s inside. I don’t want to appear nosy.
“So,” Min begins when Rich is out of earshot. “Any luck figuring out what he’s planning?”
I blow out my cheeks. “Nope. He won’t say a word.”
“Have you tried…” Min lowers her voice conspiratorially, “…that thing we talked about?” I feel a little flush darken my face. Min advised me, in full earnestness, to try talking to Rich about his plan right after we’d had sex. She said that’s the time men are most willing to divulge their secrets. It weirded me out a little, how easy it was for her to talk about her brother having sex. Then again, we aren’t children anymore. It’s just not something I’ve gotten used to yet, I guess.
I move my head up and down in reply. “Yes! No matter what, he stonewalls me.”
“He won’t say anything to me, either.” Min sighs. “Something’s not right. I just know it. I don’t think either of us is going to like his plan.”
“What makes you say
that?” I ask.
“Just a feeling I have. Rich can be stubborn sometimes. I remember from when we were kids. He’d get some idea stuck in his mind, and no amount of talk could ever dissuade him from it. The more you pushed, the more he’d dig in his heels.”
“That sounds a lot like the man I know,” I tell her.
Min looks at me. There’s a bit of sadness in her eyes. “Penny? Can you promise me something?”
“Anything,” I tell her, struck by the sobering tone of her voice.
“Can you… look after Rich for me?” Min clears her throat. “I mean, I know he loves me. But he still treats me like a little girl sometimes. Most times. I guess it’s hard for him to see me any other way. But you? You can help him. He trusts you. He values your opinion. I know you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. If anybody can help Rich change for the better, it’s you.”
“I love him, Min,” I tell her. “Of course I’ll do everything I can to protect him. I’ll do everything I can to help him grow. He still thinks he’s alone. But, he’s not anymore. He has both of us. He’s just not used to the idea yet.” I smile. “I’ll make him see that he’s not in this alone, sooner or later.”
Min wraps her arms around me in a hug. “Thank you,” she whispers in my ear.
***
“What’s going on behind those stunning eyes of yours?” I ask Rich later that night. We’re both lying in bed. He’s been quiet for a while, chewing on the tip of his pen while idly leafing through his notebook.
“How much I love you,” Rich answers right away and without hesitation. My heart melts a little. “You and Min both. I’d do anything to keep you girls safe. You know that?”
“Of course I do.” I smile at him. “But don’t talk like that. It makes me worried about what you’re going to do next.”
“Does it?”
“Yes. I told you before. I’m in this thing with you, one hundred percent. There’s nowhere you can go without me coming.”
“Penny.” Rich turns to face me. His eyes move across my face. His eyebrows furrow in a serious expression. “There might come a time in the near future when we get separated. I don’t want you to do anything stupid if that happens. Your safety comes first. Above all. Above mine. Promise me you’ll do as I say if that ever happens.”
I fight down an uncomfortable shiver. “Now you’re scaring me, Rich.”
“I don’t want to scare you. I only want to make sure you’re safe. You know the kind of people who are looking for me and Min. You have nothing to do with them. Promise me you won’t risk yourself for my sake, Penny.”
“Only if you promise you won’t do anything stupid without telling me first,” I counter. “I want you safe, too.”
Rich puts his arms around my shoulders and holds me tight. “You mean more to me than you’ll ever know. But we’re not out of the woods yet. These last few days… with you… have been nice.”
“Just ‘nice’?” I ask.
Rich chuckles. “More than that. They’ve been beautiful. I want more of them in the future. We will have more of them in the future. But in the short-term, there may be some difficult decisions that must be made. I want you to put yourself first, always. Promise me that.”
“And you promise you won’t make any rash decisions without letting me know?” Rich nods. “Okay. I promise I’ll do as you say, then,” I agree reluctantly.
A weight seems to lift off Rich’s shoulders as soon as he hears the words. “Thank you,” he rumbles in my ear, squeezing me harder. I hug him back.
Rich yawns and rubs his eyes. “Tomorrow’s a big day,” he says. “We should get some sleep. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Rich,” I say, snuggling close to him after he turns off the bedside lamp. I close my eyes and rest easy, knowing that whatever happens next, it will happen with Rich at my side.
Chapter Three
I wake up the next morning to an empty bed. It doesn’t faze me. Rich usually makes his trips into the city before I’m awake.
I stretch and look out the window. A little bit of sun has finally broken through the clouds. Today, more than any other day, it feels like the start of something new.
I drag my feet to the bathroom, and splash some water on my face to wake up. I blink, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
I consider my reflection in the mirror. My hair’s a mess. I have absolutely no makeup on. But, I’m glowing. A good night’s rest after hours of lovemaking will do that to you.
I brush my teeth and start for the kitchen to see if Min is up. I’m so absorbed in my thoughts that I almost miss the envelope lying at the door.
Frowning, I pick it up. It’s one of those big manila legal envelopes. I flip it over, and find the words, “TO PENNY” scrawled on the back in Rich’s handwriting.
A sick feeling forms in my gut. I have no reason to suspect that anything’s wrong, but this feels… off. Ominous.
Perching on the edge of the bed, I slide my finger under the seal and look inside.
There are three things in the envelope. The first is a small, blue booklet. The second is a thick white envelope, like the type you put money in at an ATM. The last is a creased sheet of paper with writing on the inside.
I take the paper out. It’s folded in two, but I recognize Rich’s writing from the ink staining through the sheet. My hands shake a little as I straighten it against my leg. I begin to read:
We shouldn’t be together. There’s no question of that in my mind. I know it as clearly as I know my left hand from my right.
But I can’t help my feelings for you. I know they’re wrong, twisted, and fucked screwed up. I know I’m not right for you. Most of all, I know that I don’t deserve you.
So this is my way of saying goodbye. You won’t hear from me again. See me again. If you’re smart, you won’t think of me again. You’ll take the contents of the envelope and disappear.
You’ll be free to start a new life. A life wherever you want. A life of your choice. A life without me.
This is my final gift to you, Penny. I love you. You’ve changed me forever. I don’t know what will happen to me next, or how much time I have left. But know that I will treasure your memory every second I am still alive.
I wish we could have met under different circumstances. I wish things could have been different. They’re not. Neither of us can change that.
I will not apologize for what I must do. Send my love to Min. I am doing this for her, too.
R
I imagine most girls would cry upon reading a letter like that. I don’t cry. I’m furious.
How dare Rich presume he knows what’s best for me! How dare he! He promised me one thing last night, and this morning, he goes and breaks it? The bastard!
I reach into the envelope for the other two items. The blue booklet is a passport with my picture and a fake name. The envelope is full of cash.
This is what Rich has been doing going out to the city? I feel like screaming. My whole body is shaking. I can’t tell if it’s more from anger or grief. I choose anger. I will not let myself feel despair.
Fuck his letter! Rich isn’t about to get rid of me that easily. Not if I have any say in it. I’ve abandoned everything I have for him, only to be left behind at the most critical moment? Hell no! I did not fall in love only for him to go and get himself killed!
I need time to think. To plan. I can’t give myself the opportunity to be sad. Not now. Helplessness is the worst feeling in the world. If I sit around and be sad, that’s exactly where I’ll end up.
I need to do something. I need to take action. I need… to go after Rich.
I call for Min. My mind is already playing out a hundred different scenarios. I need answers. How long ago did Rich leave? Did he take the bike? How soon can we find him?
Min rushes into the room, breathless. The urgency must have carried in my voice.
I shove the letter into her hands. “Your brother just did something incredibly stupid,” I tell her.
***
“Oh, this is bad,” Min murmurs as soon as she finishes reading. “This is really, really bad. This is what he’s been working on this whole time?”
“He also left these.” I show Min the passport and money. She grimaces.
“I can’t believe he’d do this.”
“He did.” I shake my head. “We have to go after him.”
“Right.” Min nods. She gives me a grin. “My brother might be an idiot, but at least he has good taste in women. Most girls would be freaking out if they got a letter like this.”
“I’m not most girls,” I remind her. I neglect to mention that the only thing keeping me together is the pressing need for action. I stand up and clap my hands. “So. Logistics. Logistics. We need to figure this out. How long ago do you think Rich left?”
“It has to have been in the middle of the night. I’ve been up for a few hours. I didn’t see him this morning. I thought he was still with you,” Min reports.
I curse myself for sleeping so long. “The letter says he’s going to ‘face the consequences.’ Does that mean he’s going to Tam and Victor?”
Min thinks for a moment. “No. They’re the ones who chased after me, but they’re just hired guns.”
Suddenly I remember what Rich said yesterday: ‘It always goes back to my father.’
“He’s going to find your dad,” I gasp. “He’s going to try to get the documents from him. He’ll turn them in… and himself, too.”
“To New York?” Min’s eyes narrow. “Yes, that makes sense.”
“You travelled across the country,” I tell her. “You did it without being caught. How?”
“Buses, cars, and keeping a low profile,” she explains. “I never used my ID.”
“Would he do the same thing?”
Min considers the question. “No,” she says, shaking her head. “That would take too long. I’d bet anything he flew.”
“Wouldn’t that mean he’d risk being caught?”
Change of Heart 2 Page 2
