by Ross Homer
She giggled, “Oh, without a doubt, your witchy majesty. Now…let’s see if Nissa is alive and well and I need coffee.”
Nissa met us in the upstairs hall. “Good morning, mates,” she said and looked me over. “I hope to hell you don’t feel as bad as you look.”
“I love you too, Nissa,” I grumbled. “And yes, I do. Sweet Gaia, getting up was tough.”
Elsa said, “She’s not kidding, our house witch.”
We went downstairs, well, they did. I carefully held onto the bannister as I made my way slowly down. I wondered if this was a harbinger for my future. Too many injuries like this adding up to an aging toll that I would eventually pay for. More than one athlete was crippled up in their old age and I don’t mean just pros, either. I know a writer whose left shoulder is majorly screwed from crashing more than once while biking. I won’t laugh at him for being a clutz anymore.
Today I magicked the coffee. To hell with waiting for it to brew. I didn’t like doing that, either, but these were extenuating circumstances and I wanted a cup as soon as I entered the kitchen.
Elsa and Nissa helped me sit. As I sipped, I said, “Well…I wasn’t going for a ride today, anyway. This is awful.”
Nissa asked curiously, “Do you remember exactly what happened when you went down?”
I was going to make some kind of highly sexual comment about ‘going down’ then changed my mind. I was in no mood for it. “I landed on my right side and then rolled both head over heels a couple of times and then over on my side a couple of more. I hit primarily on the paved portion of the trail and then rolled off into the dirt. I think I was going pretty fast, too. Twenty or so. We were sprinting when that miserable bastard ran us off the road.”
“Then I think you’re real lucky. All of you are. That’s awfully fast to go off your bike.”
I nodded. “I know. All of us could have ended up like Davy or worse.”
I reheated my coffee while Elsa toasted some sesame seed bagels.
When the bagels were done, she got out cream cheese, butter, and some fresh strawberry jam and we went into the dining room.
I laughed, kind of, and said to Elsa, “Don’t tell my Mom about this. Okay? She has always hated my biking and knows I’ve crashed before. But she’ll have a fit if she should hear about this time. Okay?”
She gave me an evil grin in reply. “What’s it worth to ya’, you big sissy bitch?”
“It’s your ass if you tell her because she will definitely let me have both barrels and I’ll know how she found out.”
Now she simpered, “But you like my ass.”
Nissa had had enough. “Stop! God, you two sound like schoolgirls. Young schoolgirls.”
I responded with, “Are you lazy hussies running this morning? Or are you going to sit here and keep zinging me?”
“No. We decided last night that we’d stay here to comfort you. All kidding aside though, from the way you look and are acting, it was probably a good idea.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said and started to cry. I had amazing friends, pure and simple.
Elsa asked, “Are you okay? Why are you crying?”
I leaned over and gave her a delicious coffee kiss. “You two are why I’m crying. I couldn’t ask for better friends and you, Elsa, as a lover. Goddess I’m so blessed.”
We finished eating in silence as all three of us were now crying tears of happiness.
Done with bagels, we put the dishes away and retreated to the living room with our coffees.
Nissa started the conversation with a question. “Elsa,” she began, “All I know about you is that you’re an Esper and work for her witchiness. That and you’re in love with ol’ crash and burn right here.”
I stuck my tongue out at her as a proper lady would.
“Ignore her, Nissa,” Elsa replied, laughing. “She’s being childish, again. I’d smack her on the butt, but it’s injured.”
Playing along, Nissa teased, “But it’s such a big target, you’re sure to hit a part that’s not.”
I couldn’t help it. I had to laugh. “Leave me alone guys. I’ll get healthy again and then me and my big ol’ ass will be looking for someone else’s asses to kick.”
“Color me scared,” Elsa said, still laughing. She took a sip of coffee and continued, “About me, though. Jeeze, where to start? I left home at sixteen. I didn’t have a bad home life, but I was bored with small town USA. I can’t say I ran away because I was a little too old for that. Actually, three of us left New Mexico together for the bright lights of the big city. We went to Denver where one of my friends immediately overdosed and died. We hadn’t been there a week. We should have gone back home after that but being asshole kids, we didn’t.” She stopped talking abruptly and I saw that far away stare in her eyes before she continued. I didn’t even know about that.
“Oh, Nissa. There’s so much to tell but I won’t. My friend and I started for LA after that. On the way, my other friend quit on me. In Patagonia, Arizona, of all places. Last I heard she was back home and pregnant with her third child.
“I made it to LA and lied about my age, of course. I danced a little and as much as I hate to admit it, I did a little hooking. I’ve been married and divorced. I got my GED and then I went to college. I have a degree in computer tech and financially, I’ve done better than I ever thought possible. Life brought me here, to Seattle, and into the arms of that amazing, but big-assed woman right there, six years ago where I’ve been ever since.” She pointed at me.
“Gosh, Elsa. You told me you love my big ass.” I grinned at her.
“Jo,” she replied, “I love all of you and your ass isn’t that big. But it is definitely fun to pick on.”
“That’s not what you do with it.” I couldn’t help it. I had to shoot back at her. She enjoyed stroking my butt cheeks and kissing those small dimples above my hips. Then I’d turn over and…ahh, never mind.
She laughed, sipped her coffee and continued, “The woman I’m teasing the hell out of, saved my life one night. That was six years ago. I was in love with her from the moment I became aware of her. That was after I came out of the drug induced fog I was in. I guess you know that both of us are bi and I’ll tell you…I was honestly afraid she’d end up with some guy. Like the one at our favorite coffee shop.”
She and I grinned over that. He is much too young for me, but he is for sure damn fine.
Elsa looked across at Nissa and said, “And then you came into our lives and reinforced my love for her with just a few words.”
Stunning both Nissa and me, Elsa got up, crossed the room, and kissed her. The kiss was full of intent and I could see Nissa respond from where I was sitting. Was that three-way thing we kidded about going to become a reality? No, as it turned out. Thankfully, too. I wasn’t sure we could handle it. It may look good in porn movies but in reality? I didn’t think so.
Elsa sat back down and Nissa just stared at her kind of in shock, I think. I knew for a fact that Elsa could launch my libido, which is already strong, with one of her kisses. Nissa was in orbit at the moment. Around Mars, maybe.
Taking a breath, Elsa exhaled slowly and then asked, “And you, Nissa? What about you? We’re roommates for the most part until this is solved so I think we need to know if you’re some kind of Jackie the Ripper or something.”
Nissa finally returned to Earth. “Whoa! I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that.” She touched her lips and stared at Elsa. She smiled and asked, “You added something to it, didn’t you?”
Elsa smiled enigmatically and said nothing. Mona Lisa sitting in my living room. Now I knew she did, and it was all good because I’ve been on the receiving end of far more than one of her ‘special’ kisses.
Nissa said, “That was nice. About me? Not much to tell. I’m Fae but you know that. My talent, if you will, is telepathy. You know that, too. Let’s see…I’m almost thirty-eight.” Then she smiled at us strangely. “I am a grandmother, too.” She laughed at our reaction which was o
ne of shock. “Yep. I was in a situation kind of like Elsa was in. But I was fourteen at the time. First time I had sex, as forced as it was, I became a mother. Sadly, my daughter was also fourteen when she had her twins. She lives in Scottsdale with her wonderful husband now. We, ahh, had some problems not too long ago that you may have read about.”
I was astonished! “I know about Taft but that girl…Sissy Rios? She’s your daughter?”
“Yes, and I love her to death. When I had her, I was in a tough way. The worst. My mom was a junkie and then she was dead. I had no idea who my father was, and I was living in a slum estate in Manchester. Sissy was just more than I could handle. I was forced to give her up as a baby because I was a damn kid and had no way to raise her.” She swiped at tears. “I wasn’t going to continue that life. It was hard like you can’t know unless you lived it, pulling yourself up out of that kind of place.
“I got my education, went to Uni and then became a cop. I wanted Scotland Yard and I got it. Then the crazy way the Universe has for doing things brought both Sissy and me here to reunite. It almost didn’t work, as you know. I got shot and almost killed. Why? Sissy has a Fae talent that Taft was after; she’s a Healer and those Fae are rare and far between. With her as his permanent captive, he could have wreaked havoc among the Northwest Fae. He did a good job in England without one and then he got on to Sissy. He’s also why I came here. During this time, I met a man I fell absolutely arse over teakettle in love with and am now married to.” She grinned at both of us. “And yes, I must tell you that I’ve been known to dip my toes, and other bodily parts, in your side of the stream. But no more. I am well satisfied with him.”
I still ached all over, but the laughter and camaraderie made me feel a lot better.
I sipped my coffee and wondered about how the day was going to pan out. We had who the dead guys worked for and the ME was working on ID’s. But two pairs of eyes stared at me.
“What?” I said, trying to act innocent.
Elsa said, “Your turn. You know, I don’t actually know much about you, either. So, give, bitch.”
Shit. I hated talking about myself but the woman I loved and one I liked both bared their souls a little, so I needed to as well. I played KIS-KIS with them: keep it short, keep it simple. Hah. As if that was going to work.
I tried to when I said, “I grew up in a nice, middle class family, with wonderful parents, in this house. That kind of thing does happen from time to time. I had no reason to run away or have a baby. None. I’m sorry, but I can’t compete with you two for terrible life stories because I didn’t have one.” That was all I was going to say but neither of these bitches was going to let me get away with that.
Nissa said, “Try again, perfect child. There’s a whole lot more to you than that and I’ve been inside your head. So, give. Tell us about Jocelyn Palmer, private eye.”
“There’s really not much to tell, actually.” The eyes have it, so the saying goes, and those two pairs weren’t letting me skate out of this.
I stood and tried to stretch a little. “Okay,” I said as I sat back down…carefully. “I had a pretty normal life growing up. My grandparents and parents taught me my craft. My sister and brother don’t have any talent. Goddess, guys, I am about as vanilla boring as they come.”
Elsa said to Nissa, “Getting history out of her is harder than pulling teeth out of an unanesthetized grizzly bear.”
“Goddammit! Alright. You two get off my back. I was the perfect child until I started to mature. I mean, I didn’t even shoplift candy as a kid. I knew all about sex because I have a liberal feminist mother and she taught me just about everything one can by the time I was twelve. I didn’t know I was actually bisexual until I was fifteen. She put me on the annual birth control shot when I was fifteen, too, because she definitely isn’t blind, and I was already filling out.
“As both of you can see, I have a pretty damn nice figure and have had it starting at fourteen. Then I met Bob Albertson when I was just sixteen. He was the guy I was going to give my virginity to, and I did. Yeah, I know. I still don’t have much to talk about since sixteen and a half is about the median age to have sex the first time. But…having sex with a girl is different.” I smiled at Elsa.
“I should have been paying more attention around Bob and his family. His grandmother was a terror, for instance. If I can really be honestly bitchy, she was the devil himself. There was never a more hate-filled woman than her. Worse, she carried a Bible with her that she could quote line and verse from for every single situation. If you weren’t one of her church members, she hated you. Her angry heart gave out at sixty-three, and if I may, not a damned second too soon.
“I was stupid enough to try and prove to Bob that I was a witch and she went ballistic. That may have led to her death. I don’t know and I don’t care. Bob, of course, refused to believe that’s what I am but his grandmother wanted him to kill me in accordance with her book. He almost did but not because of that.”
I sipped my cooling coffee and decided I’d had enough. I pushed it away.
Nissa said, “There’s more, Jo.”
She was a good cop for a reason. “Yeah, there is,” I said. “Okay. I discovered my other side when he was at that bitch’s funeral. The side that has Elsa sitting here with me. There was another girl on the swim team who was slim and very pretty. She didn’t have my shape although she looked good in her suit. She still does, by the way. No, Elsa, you have nothing to worry about. She’s happily married to a woman she met in college.
“Bob was gone for a weekend and the girl and I were at the pool, working on some stroke or other. We found ourselves in the shower at the same time and one thing led to another. I discovered that while Bob was fun in bed, he hadn’t to that point, made me come. She did right off the bat. I hate to say this but in the four years I was with him, he only got me off a couple of times. He was then and I imagine is still, a lousy lover as I discovered with her. But to continue. The girl and I met occasionally until she went out of state to college. Bob knew about it and, like his grandmother and parents, could list chapter and verse why it was wrong. This is even after she and I invited him into a three-way.
“Okay. Now the bad part, if you want.” Both of them nodded. Miss Goody Two Shoes had a dark side. Not really but it was not the best time of my life. “Bob had and I imagine still has a terrible temper. He beat me when I was eighteen and put me in the hospital. It killed our unborn baby. You know the drill…he whined and cried that he’d never do it again and all that bullshit. I should have dumped his sorry ass then, but I thought that I was in love with him. Miss Try and Fix Him. I didn’t learn, either. At twenty, he put me in the hospital again and this time he almost killed me.
“He knocked me down at some point during that terrible night and I got a concussion. The hospital put me in an induced coma for several days to reduce brain swelling and I couldn’t help myself heal until it was too late. I can’t get pregnant now if I wanted to. Thanks to Lieutenant Bob Albertson.”
I smiled tenderly at Elsa. “But I did manage to get a baby out of all this after all.”
Elsa laughed. “Baby? Honey, I’m all of two years younger than you are.” We stared at each other all googly eyed as lovers do.
Nissa sighed and asked, “Anything else? You have to have something dark in your past.”
“Of course, I do but I can’t tell you because friend or not, you’re still a cop. So, I’ll say this: I am less than kind to child rapists and murderers when I can catch them. I have been known to become extremely angry when I see abuse and the night I found Elsa, I came as close as I had in a long time to killing her attackers. They ended up in the hospital as it was.”
Elsa chimed in, “Nissa, you should have seen her! Even in my stoned-out condition, this amazing woman and that steel rod went through those guys like a scythe through a stalk of ripe wheat.” Suddenly it was not ha ha anymore. Elsa started to cry hard! She knew just like I did what the outcome of that night cou
ld easily have been.
I finished her story. “Nissa, you know what they’d have done. They’d have raped her to death. They didn’t. She did get a broken nose and wrist, and some scratches. But no more. Oh Goddess, when I think about that night and the fact that I might have been elsewhere…I cry a lot, too.”
“But Jo, you were there,” Nissa said in a calming voice. “The Universe wanted you two right here, right now, and that was kind of the long way around to do it. Maybe both of you needed to experience being with more people. I certainly don’t know. I’d been with a number of men and yeah, a couple of women too, before I met my husband.” She shrugged. “And here we are. I’m happily married, and I’m surprised you two aren’t.”
Elsa wiped away her tears and said, “Not yet. We are planning to get married later this spring although neither of us really need it to cement our love for each other.”
I stood up again. “Enough! I need to go walk a little to try and loosen up. Elsa, will you go with me? Nissa? Going to your office or staying here?”
She replied, “I need to go in and update a report on what’s happening so far. I won’t be all that long. Then the three of us need to start to figure who this Roy Bob Miller is and go from there.”
Nissa left soon after and I went straight back up to bed. I was really hurting. Everything worked and I didn’t feel as if anything was broken but all of it hurt like hell.
I slept for a couple more hours while Elsa checked in on the whereabouts of a couple of outstanding checks from the courts. She received the usual, ‘they’re in the mail,’ comments and let it go.
By noon, I was up again and feeling a little better. I took kind of a spit bath and dressed again with the help of my able-bodied assistant. The little bitch teased the hell out of me again. It worked, again, to distract me from my aches and pains.
“Elsa, let’s go for that walk I mentioned earlier. I need it and if we only get around the block, that’s fine. It’s pretty out, too.”
She looked square at my chest and still teasing, “Yes they are pretty out!”
