“If I’m right, then my futile attempt to help Ferina, and Geoff nearly killing me are also on it. I don't want to see it, and I’d rather you didn’t see it, either. It’s up to you though. I’m not going to tell you not to if that's what you want to do.”
“What will you do with it?” Thorn asked.
“That’s the big question, isn’t it? I was hoping you guys could help me with the answer.”
“I have one more question,” Tee said.
“Just one?” Ria asked, smiling faintly.
“For now.”
“Okay.”
“You told us there were two reasons you couldn’t tell us what happened on the Leaper. One was the oath you made to Smythe. The other was shame. What did you do that you believe was shameful?”
Ria smiled sadly. “I broke a promise.”
Chapter 25
Three days later Talon transported to the Bihotza and called Jay on the vox. “I’d like to speak with you, Declan, Kai and most of all, Vari.”
“Of course,” Jay said. “We’ll meet you in the conference room in a minute or two.”
“Thank you,” Talon replied, then clicked off. He left Transport and made his way to the conference room. He had a copy of the message Ria had received from the man named Smythe, and a copy of the surveillance vid Smythe had sent her.
He hadn't seen the vid, nor had his brothers. They’d debated for a couple of hours before deciding against it, a decision Talon was more than satisfied with. It had taken him three days just to feel as though he could discuss what happened with Vari and the Dracon-Bats without going into a blood rage. The last thing he needed was to actually see it.
He sensed the Dracon-Bats racing toward him using Air a second before they arrived, Vari in Declan’s arms. He put her down and she looked up at Talon. “Is Ria all right?”
“Yes, she’s well, Lady Vari.”
“Thank you,” she replied, then followed Declan into the conference room. Once they were all seated, they waited for Talon to tell them why he was there.
“Ria told us that she’s never told anyone what I’m about tell you. Since you’re telepathic, I wonder if you’re already aware that Ria can tell whenever someone lies to her?”
She frowned. “No. I didn’t know that.”
“Can you imagine what it does to a child when a parent offers praise for a job well done, and she knows they’re not telling her the truth? When a parent says they’re proud of an accomplishment, and she knows they don’t mean it. Or that a picture she drew was beautiful, and she knows they’re lying.”
“No, I don’t think I can,” Vari said, her face paling. “Our parents would never hurt her, or any of us deliberately, Talon.”
“I know that,” Talon said gently. “This is not about blame.” Vari nodded, and he continued.
“Try now to see from a parent’s perspective, and imagine a drawing created by a four year old. It’s scribbles and shapes in a mix of colors and you can’t imagine what it’s supposed to be. Do you tell the child that it’s an incomprehensible mess? Or do you say how beautiful it is?
“If a child decides to clean up the kitchen as a surprise and makes a bigger mess than what was there when she began, will you scold her for the bigger mess? Or praise her efforts? If you say you’re proud, then you’re telling the child a lie. But you’d do it anyway, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes, I understand what you mean,” Vari said, relaxing. “A child couldn’t possibly understand the reasoning behind the lie.” Vari sighed. “Talon, why didn’t she ever tell anyone?”
“I’ll get there. Please bear with me.” Vari nodded again. “Ria is an empath. You know this, everyone knows this. She’s able to not only sense emotions, but turn it off and on at will.”
Vari nodded.
“Ria can also take another person’s bad feelings away. She discovered that when she was seven. When she was asked if it hurt to do it, she said no. It was difficult to take other people’s bad feelings into herself, to accept their grief or sadness, and in that sense it did hurt. Can you guess why she lied about that?”
“She took them into herself?” Vari asked in horror.
“Yes, in the beginning she did. Can you guess why she lied about that?”
“No.”
“She had a sister who possessed a talent she couldn’t control and that caused her pain. A sister who was isolated, removed from the family. A sister she loved and missed every minute of every day. A sister whose fate she did not want to share.”
Vari’s eyes widened in shock. Talon nodded. “Your family thinks of Ria as impulsive, unpredictable and immature. Do you know that she controlled her impulse problems well enough at the age of five to keep all of her secrets? She never spoke of or revealed in any way that she had psychic abilities that she couldn’t control. She learned to lie in order to hide the pain those abilities often caused, and the pain she felt when those she loved lied to her.
“Her physical impulses were harder to control at first. She had to focus so hard every minute of every day, to make sure she didn’t say the wrong thing, or display the wrong emotion, or have the wrong reaction, that the physical aspect got away from her for a few years. By the time she was ten, she had control of that part of herself too and she held onto it rigidly. Until she told us a couple of weeks ago, she never told anyone, not in her entire life, that she could hear lies. Does that sound like an impulsive child to you?”
“No, of course not. But why didn’t she tell anyone that much, at least?”
“Because she couldn’t control it, for one thing. Control was the key to everything for her. With it, she could stay at home. Without it, she’d be sent away. That was her literal understanding of the situation, and it still is. It took years for her to teach herself how to turn that ability off and on. Longer than any other ability she had.
“For another thing, Ria knew the other children, and a lot of adults, didn’t want to get within a hundred yards of you because they were afraid you’d read their minds. It didn’t take a lot of imagination to guess how those people would feel about someone who could catch every single lie they told.”
“Bless the Creators,” Vari whispered hoarsely.
“Surely she realized that wouldn’t happen once she got a little older,” Declan said.
“Yes, she did, when she was about ten. But she also realized that no one would want to be near her for fear their lies would be revealed. If the truth got out, she’d still be isolated, just in a different way.”
“So she hid it, all this time,” Vari said.
“When she was eleven she heard your mother tell you that she loved all of her children equally, and Ria knew she lied. It was a very traumatic moment for her. She was the middle daughter. The least cared for. The least liked. And now, the least loved.”
“I can’t believe that my parents didn’t love Ria. That they don’t love Ria. There must be a misunderstanding, Talon.”
“I agree,” Talon said. “I think that it’s entirely possible that your mother loves you just a bit more than the others. You’ve gone through hell, Vari, no one could argue with that. It makes sense that your mother would give you an extra share of love. What else could she do for a daughter she couldn’t even hug anymore? That doesn’t mean she loves Ria less. But that’s logic an eleven-year old could never grasp. She believed that she wasn’t loved as much as her siblings. She still believes that, in all honesty.
“On top of that her entire family believes she’s someone that bears no relationship to reality. A selfish, thoughtless person who does nothing for anyone but herself. That’s not Ria. I can’t tell you who she was as a child, but I can tell you now, that is not who she is. But she knows those she loves think that’s who she is so she tries harder and harder to prove she isn’t. And no one ever notices.”
Vari felt nauseous. “She didn’t want me to see her on the Leaper because she was afraid I’d be too distracted to do what I needed to do to save the ship.”
&
nbsp; “Yes.”
“We accused her, I accused her of deliberately daring me, of being stubborn. But I don’t think anyone actually asked her why she refused to be transported.”
“One person did,” Talon said. “Riley Bearen asked her. But she couldn’t answer because she’d already decided to go along with what your parents believed.”
“Why did she do that, Talon? Why didn’t she tell anyone what really happened to her on the Leaper? I cannot understand that. I know there’s a reason. I know it. But I can’t find it.”
“There’re a couple of reasons. The first and by far the biggest one is shame.”
“Shame?” Vari asked blankly. “Shame for what?”
“Women often feel shame when they’re raped,” Jay said.
“But Ria wasn’t raped,” Kai pointed out. “Maybe she felt shame for not being able to save the other woman?”
Vari thought about that and conceded it was possible, but that didn’t feel right. “Why, Talon?”
“Because she broke a promise.”
“What?” Vari asked dumbly, sure that she’d misunderstood him.
“She broke a promise, Vari,” Talon said. “When Ria was about ten, your mother insisted that they perform an experiment to see what would happen if she tried to return the feelings she took away from people. Ria was afraid to do it. She sensed it would be a bad thing. A dangerous thing. But she did it anyway.
“The result wasn’t good. It was as if the tiny bit of joy Ria returned had multiplied a thousand fold, leaving your mother’s mind in a state of shock, unable to encompass it. Ria immediately took it back and disposed of it. Afterward, your mother asked her to promise to never, ever do that again. Ria made the promise.”
“But…that makes no sense,” Vari said. “She used it to save her own life. No one would ever condemn her for that.”
“How do you know?”
“Because her life is more important than that or any other promise.”
“Tell me, what were you taught about breaking your word? About the sanctity of a promise?”
“That it would destroy one’s honor,” Vari said. “But it doesn’t make sense, Talon. My mother would never condemn her for breaking that promise.”
“It makes sense to Ria, and she doesn’t know that. No one ever told her that some promises could be broken and others not. Ria has a very literal mind.”
“Yes, I see that,” Vari admitted. “You said there were other reasons.”
“Aside from shame, she also felt fear that others would think even less of her than they already did.”
“Less of her? Why would anyone think that?”
“Because she didn't save her friend, or any of the other women. She also kept quiet for your friend Shanti’s sake.”
“Shanti?” Vari asked, confused.
“Ria discovered the next morning that Shanti cared for the man. She couldn’t bring herself to tell a truth that would cause your friend further pain. He was dead and gone, so she decided there was no harm in letting Shanti believe that he was a good man.”
“How can I ever make up for all the injustices committed against her?” Vari asked, silent tears wetting her cheeks. “Even just those I’m responsible for.”
Talon sighed. “I did not come here to heap blame on you, Lady Vari. Ria loves you. You hurt her, yes, but all she wants is for you to know and understand the truth about her. She’s afraid her family will be furious with her because of the secrets she’s kept, but she’s ready now to put it all out in the open and get on with her life regardless.”
“That’s the most wonderful thing I’ve heard in a long while, Talon. Thank you.”
“Ria’s been alone her entire life, Vari. In many ways more alone than you.”
“I’m starting to see that. I always thought she had lots of friends and played more than anything else.”
“Star is the first friend she’s ever had,” Talon said. “And while she has a great sense of humor, she’s only just beginning to learn how to play.”
“Do you think she’d be willing to see me?”
“I know she’d love to see you. I told her you said you were sorry, and for Ria, that’s enough.”
“I’m so happy, Talon, thank you,” Vari said, blinking back tears.
“I do want to ask that you not bring your friend, though.”
“Shanti?”
“Yes. She’s requested permission to transport to the Hilgaria several times. Permission we denied, and will continue to deny until Ria says otherwise. As far as I’m concerned, she can stay off the Hilgaria permanently.”
“Why? What’s going on with Shanti?”
“Ria believes Shanti wants to threaten her further for murdering the man whose name shall never pass my lips. She even fears that Shanti will succeed in her threats to have her charged with a crime.”
“Shanti wants only to apologize, but I’m not inclined to ask Ria to offer her any consideration. I came down on the wrong side once and I will not do so again.”
“It’s not my place to say this, but for Ria’s sake, I’m very glad to hear that.”
“Talon,” Declan said, then hesitated. “This is not my concern, so if you wish to refrain from answering, I’ll certainly understand.” Talon nodded. “What traumatized Ria? Was it the man trying to kill her? That’s bad enough, I know, but I had the sense it was a more personal trauma.”
“Yes, I understand what you mean. We had a hard time sorting that out as well. When Ria saw the murderer getting ready to take Ferina away…or so she thought…Ria heard and felt the other woman’s fear. So she did the only thing she could think to do. She drew off as much of her fear and pain as she could, as fast as she could. Before she finished, the man threw her through the doorway and she vanished.
“Ria was so shocked that she stood there staring and made a noise that gave her away. When she gathered the man’s evil desires to throw back at him, she remembered what she’d taken from Ferina. She’d already absorbed more than half of it, but she tossed the rest at the man for good measure. That left her with a lot of pain and fear and horror to deal with.”
“How long will that stay with her?”
“It’s almost gone now, Vari. She’s doing much better.”
“That’s a relief. When can I come and talk to Ria?”
“This afternoon might be a good time.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thank you,” Talon said, relieved. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a memory crystal. “Now comes the really hard part.”
“What could be harder than what I’ve just learned?” Vari asked.
“This crystal contains a message Ria received the day she told you and Shanti what happened to her on the Leaper. You asked why she never told anyone about it. As I said there were a few reasons, and one of them was that she promised the man who saved her to keep it secret.”
“Why would he want it kept secret?” Jay asked.
“He was afraid because there was nothing to prove their stories. No evidence remained since the victims were gone, and there was no one on the Leaper who could investigate.”
“That seems a flimsy excuse,” Declan said.
“Yes, it does, to us. But he’d just saved Ria’s life. She was prepared to help him in any way she could. She never even knew his name.”
Declan nodded. “Please go on, Talon.”
“In the message he sent Ria, Smythe gave her permission to tell the whole sordid story. He also told her that he’d lied about being afraid because there was no evidence. There was evidence showing what the other man, who it turns out was his brother, had done. He placed surveillance cams in the stairwell and in his brother’s room because he suspected what his brother might do. It was why he was there to begin with.
“We believe the surveillance vids show him killing at least five women, and assaulting Ria.”
“You believe?” Declan asked.
“Ria has asked us not to watch it and in all hones
ty, we don’t want to. She told us what was done to her. That’s bad enough. I ask, we ask, that you watch it, or select someone you trust to watch it who can tell you what's on there. Then, based on what’s there, help Ria make a decision.”
“Decision?” Vari asked faintly. Just looking at the crystal on the table was making her sick.
“Smythe killed himself,” Talon said bluntly. “He left it to Ria to determine whether to let the families of those women know the truth, or leave it alone. It infuriates me that he forced his responsibilities on her, but that can’t be changed now.”
“We will watch it, and we will do our best to help with this decision, Talon. It’s the least we can do for our sister.”
“Thank you, Declan, from all of us.”
***
Ria spent a good part of the morning moving her belongings from the room she’d shared with Star to the master suite, something she’d been putting off for a few days. She’d just opened the next to last drawer when she heard a knock at the door. She looked at Star who was just waking from a nap, closed the drawer she’d just opened, then went to answer it.
“Vari,” she said softly.
Vari stood looking at Ria for a long moment, then stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her shoulders in a tight hug. She closed her eyes in relief when Ria immediately returned the hug. After a long moment, she leaned back to look into her sister’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Ria,” she said. “I don’t even know how to tell you how sorry I am for all of the ways I hurt you.”
“It’s okay,” Ria said, too glad that Vari was there and not angry to worry about anything else.
“No, Txikreba, it’s absolutely not okay,” Vari said. “But I think I can help make it a little okay.”
“You already have.”
“I can do better,” Vari said. She turned around, opened the door that had automatically closed, and picked up a carton from the floor that Pandora was sitting on top of. Vari carried it in and set it on the table.
Ria's Visions (Hearts of ICARUS Book 6) Page 47
