“Um, I hate to break it to you, but I didn’t get this body from eating doughnuts.”
“It’s not a doughnut. Just say thank you and hush for a second.” I fidgeted with my hands, because I knew this wasn’t going to be the conversation Joe wanted to have. “Tell me about Cole.”
Right away he rolled his eyes and lightly punched the steering wheel. “Seriously? That’s why you’re here?”
“Why have you never mentioned him before?”
“He’s a deadbeat. Why would I want to? My family took him in when he had no one else. They felt sorry for him, because his mother was a crack head. She’d leave him overnight and go out to party with her friends and not come home until days later. He went days without baths, and sometimes being fed. My mom and dad couldn’t ignore it. When social services came into the picture they offered to foster him. I think he was around nine or ten. By the time he was seventeen he’d been in trouble more times than I could count. He got caught with a bag of marijuana on school property and was expelled two days before graduation. They mailed him a diploma, probably because they didn’t want him coming back for another semester at any school in the county. After that he joined the Army. For once he did something right, but it didn’t last. He was discharged early from having an altercation with a superior officer after sleeping with the guy’s wife. Why he wasn’t court marshaled and locked up I’ll never know. It would have served him good. After that we lost track. He didn’t call during the holidays or on birthdays. It was like he forgot everything we’d done for him. Then, out of nowhere he shows back up.”
“Was he high?”
“I don’t even care. He went out and got high, so what’s the difference? He’s a lost cause, Addy. If you’re trying to help, don’t. It’s not worth the time. He’ll be out of here as soon as he figures out there’s nothing left for him.”
As much as I hated the way it seemed like Cole had used Joe’s family, I couldn’t help thinking of a little boy, alone and scared in the world. He’d been dealt a tough life from the beginning, but that didn’t mean everyone had to give up on him. Cole was fixable, he just needed to want to do it. “I’m sorry for asking. It’s obvious you don’t get along.”
“I always wanted a brother. For a while Cole was it. Then he changed. Our lives went in different directions.”
“I get it Joe. Sorry for making you talk about it.”
I went to climb out of the car, but he pulled me back inside. “Wait. Is that all you wanted to know?”
“I was trying to follow up for the hospital. It’s important to be able to put someone down as a contact for him. It wasn’t listed. They thought you brought him in after picking him up. No one knew it was personal.”
“I want it to stay that way. Please don’t tell anyone, especially Sammy. You know how she talks.”
“Yeah, I sure do. It’s fine. I won’t tell her.” This wasn’t for the hospital anyway. It was for me. Now more than before, I knew I’d be the only person checking up on Cole. As good of a man as Joe was, he wasn’t equipped to understand someone like Cole. He’d been sheltered from it, and as far as he was concerned anyone on drugs was a criminal. Why he put me on a pedestal I’ll never know. “I better get going.”
“Are you ever going to have dinner with me?”
I leaned back in the car. “Maybe some day. I’ll let you know.”
My next stop was to the hospital. He’d told me to come back. I was trying to help him, because if I could do it for other people I’d feel like my life was worth something.
Cole had better color to him when I walked in the room. His curtains were pulled open, and he was searching through the channels on the television. I assume he thought I was a nurse checking on him, because he never turned to address me coming in. I got up to his bed before he noticed who I was. He shuffled in his bed, seemingly uncomfortable that it was me instead of a medical worker. “You told me to come back.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d listen.” He looked down to my hands and then back up to me. “Yesterday you had paperwork.”
“That’s because today is a courtesy visit. I’m not on the clock.”
He snickered loud enough to sound amused. “I know I didn’t make a good impression yesterday, so unless you have a sick fetish with needy men, you’re going to have to enlighten me.”
I pulled up a chair and sat down. Then I extended my hand to him. “We met at the meeting, but let’s make it official. I’m Addison Mitchell.”
He did a double take, like all of a sudden my being there was shocking. “Come again? Did you just say your last name is Mitchell, as in the Mitchell Ranch? That family?”
I nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“You need to turn around and leave. Just pretend you never met me.”
“What? Why?” It wasn’t a shock that he recognized the name. My family even donated money to this hospital. I suppose we were sort of famous in these parts.
“Trust me. You need to forget you ever saw me. If you see me on the road turn around and walk the other way.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Let me be clear. I don’t know why you’d tell me to do that, and I don’t care. Whatever your beef is with my family has nothing at all to do with me. I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions. Now, with that being said, I’m here for a reason. I don’t do this often, so I’d appreciate it if you give me a chance. Can you do that, Cole?”
He crossed his arms like I had mine, almost mocking me. His smile was contagious. I had to turn my head to avoid him seeing me blush. My heart was racing, and I knew it was from being so outspoken. I wasn’t an aggressive person. Usually I was the person avoiding confrontations.
“I’ve never been good at turning a beautiful woman down.”
I tried to ignore his comment. “Good.” I crossed my legs and loosened my posture up a bit. “So tell me about you. What brought you here? How did it get to this point?”
He sighed. “You don’t let up do you?”
“Not really.”
He shook his head. “Fine, I’ll play along. Some might say I had a rough upbringing. My mom abandoned me.”
“I know that much. Tell me what made you give up?”
“Why would you think I have?”
“Because you’re here.”
“I haven’t given up. I’m trying to change, but it’s hard when everything is against you. Take my foster family for instance. They’re all I have, but they treat me like I’m an alien. Nothing I’ve ever done is good enough.”
After talking to Joe, I knew Cole was probably telling the truth. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
He pointed toward me. “Take you for instance. You come from a huge family. You’re seen in public together, and everyone is always smiling. I’m the kid in the Christmas picture that’s hiding behind someone. You want to know me, that’s all I’ve got to offer you.”
“So you started using to compensate the life you thought you were missing out on?’
He let out an air-filled laugh. “No. I messed around with drugs in high school for fun. When I joined the Army I had to give it all up. I was clean, happy even.”
“So what happened?” I practically interrupted while on the edge of my seat with interest.
“I met a woman, isn’t that always the case? Love?”
I smirked. “I’m guessing it doesn’t end well.”
“For starters I didn’t know she was married, especially to my commanding officer. I didn’t find out until a couple months into the relationship, after I’d grown to have strong feelings. We used to sit for hours and I’d listen to her tell me how bad her husband treated her. He would cut her down and leave marks on her body. So many nights she called me crying, wishing she could find a way out. After a few months I decided to move off base so she could come with me. We had our whole future planned out, down to the wedding.”
“She talked about marrying you and she was still with her husband?”
“Yep. One day I
get called into my commanding officer’s quarters and that’s when he told me his wife was having an affair with someone on base. I didn’t know at the time he was wanting me to confess. He already had me tailed and knew we were together. He started tossing me around, all while I was in shock. I’d been played by that woman. He wasn’t beating on her, or doing anything like that. The man was a wreck. Anyway, long story short I was discharged soon after. He made up some shit about failing a physical, but that’s not true.”
“Then what happened?”
“Well I obviously moved. I had to. I stayed in an apartment doing tattoos on the side until my money ran out. Then I hit bottom. I had nothing, I still don’t really. I wanted the pain to go away, and a friend of mine introduced me to pills. From there I started dabbling in other things, and before I knew it I was tattooing people just to make enough to party. I didn’t care who I hurt, because they didn’t care about me.”
“Tattooing? Is that what you do now?”
He looked at his arms. “Can we talk about you for a couple minutes?”
“Why?”
“Tell me about Addison. What does your boyfriend think of you helping junkies all day?”
“If I had a boyfriend he’d have to understand that it’s my job.”
“Wow, I assumed someone like you would want a big, strong boyfriend to protect her.”
“Someone like you?” I laughed when I said it.
“I didn’t mean it that way, but why not?”
“I don’t date people in the program.”
“Because we’re trash?”
“No!” I felt the need to correct him immediately. “Because I’m an addict too. Weren’t you listening at the meeting you attended?”
“I’m sorry. I know you said you were, but nothing about you screams drug addict. You’re too good of a person.”
“Good people can’t do drugs?”
“One would think with your family you’d be protected from making mistakes.”
“My family didn’t know until it was too late. I was a wild child. I liked the attention. You used drugs to have fun, while I did it to escape. There’s a difference.”
“I’m sensing a bit of hostility. Are you like this with all the patients, or just the ones you’re attracted to?”
I stood up, flabbergasted he’d assume that. “What? Why would you even go there? I’m here to offer you support to help get you clean. It’s my job.”
“So is that a no for dinner a week from today?”
“Are you always this sarcastic?”
“I’m one-hundred percent real, precious. Trust me on that.”
“Don’t call me that.”
He grinned. “I think you’ve got everything you needed. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go back to watching a Lifetime movie in peace.”
“Wait, I wasn’t finished.” I wanted to offer him my support, because I knew he wouldn’t get it from anywhere else. “Cole, you’ll need a sponsor.”
“Are you volunteering? You’re seriously going to be there for me twenty-four-seven? You’ll stop what you’re doing because I feel the need to use and you are the only person who can talk me off the ledge I’m dangling from?” His humor wasn’t amusing me. He was mocking my offer.
“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m offering.”
“Why? Do you always recruit people from the hospital?”
“On occasion, especially when I feel they have the potential to be better. You’ve been dealt a bad hand for far too long. It’s time you make some changes and better yourself. If I could do it, so can you.”
I stood and handed him my card. “My cell is on the back. Let me know when you get released. I’ll make sure you have a ride to the meetings, even if I have to pick you up myself.”
I started walking out when he said one more thing. “I look forward to our next date, Addison. Next time I’ll wear more clothes, unless you preferred I not.”
“Goodbye, Cole.”
Chapter 4
Addison
Cole was going to be hard to deal with, that much was a given. He’d give me a run for my money, and it would be worth it in the long run, because I knew he’d challenge me. Showing him he could change, being the supporter that he needed, it would give him hope; something he’d never had before.
It was clear he didn’t have a support group to cheer him on. For me, my family was a necessity. Without them I’d probably have a needle in my arm. I depended on their love and sponsorship. They gave me reasons to remind me I was better than that.
Cole needed that kind of push. All jokes aside, my only interest was helping him. I wasn’t concerned about him flirting, because it was one-sided. There was no way I’d get involved with someone like him. I couldn’t let myself, even if he was uber sexy, with a good sense of humor. I wouldn’t let his handsome smile, and strong muscles deter me from reaching my goal. He wasn’t going to get under my skin, and that was final.
The next morning my phone started ringing. I was still in bed, enjoying that it was a cloudy day and the sun wasn’t blasting through my sheer curtains. I didn’t bother looking to see who was on the line before answering.
“Hello?”
“Precious, did I catch you at a bad time?”
I sat straight up in my bed, wide-eyed and alert. “Cole?”
“Do you have any other boyfriends calling?”
I rolled my eyes and plopped back down in bed. “It’s too early for jokes. Don’t you know it’s not nice to wake a woman?”
“I never said I was nice. So, I was wondering if your offer stands.”
“What offer? There are no meetings until tonight.”
“I don’t have a ride from the hospital. Joe is working, and my foster parents are at some retreat in New York for the week.”
Knowing he didn’t have a friend to call, it was important to prove I could be there for him, like I’d promised. “I can be there in half in hour.”
“Make it forty-five minutes. It’s not nice to make a good woman wait.”
“Oh brother, are you for real?”
“I’m always for real, precious. I’ll see you in a bit. Wear something low cut for me. I want to know if it’s as sexy as I dreamed about last night.”
“Do you always talk to strangers like this?” I was very curious. Maybe he was a player.
“We are hardly strangers. We’ve met three times, and yesterday I pretty much told you about my past. I’d say that makes us friends. It’s only a matter of time before you admit you like being around me.”
“I told you I’m not interested.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that. I’m not good at many things, Addison, but I can be irresistible if I want to. You’ll find out soon enough.”
“I’m hanging up now.” He was full of himself for sure. If he thought for one second I’d go for his come-ons he was dead wrong. Guys like him needed to be castrated.
“See you soon, precious.”
Climbing out of bed and knowing I had to pick him up left me with a headache. I was all of a sudden looking through my closet for something suitable; something that said ‘I’m not interested no matter how much you make me blush’, but I was coming up empty. Being that I had no other choice, I raided my mother’s closet, pulling out the most hideous of her dresses. She wore this particular one to church, and even my dad hated it. The dark green color was drabby. The arms came down to my elbows and were lined with a frilly lace. That same pattern came up around the high neck-line. It was perfect.
I skipped putting on makeup, but did manage to wash my face before throwing my hair in a messy bun and headed out the door.
About halfway to the hospital I burst into laughter. I must have looked like basket case, and I’d done it all to avoid getting hit on by Cole. When I pulled up I wanted nothing more than to root through my trunk and find something to change into, even if it was dirty. Unfortunately, Cole was already waiting for me. He approached the vehicle as I was getting out. After one quick once o
ver, he simply shook his head and chuckled. “Really?”
I put my hands on my hips. “What? You can’t handle my style?” I tried to play it off like I looked hot.
He walked over to the passenger side and waited for me to unlock the door. When he climbed in he buckled his seatbelt and turned to face me. “Do you know where Joe lives?”
“Sort of. I know the area.”
“Good. Just head that way. I’ll give you directions when we’re closer. Oh, by the way,” he said as I pulled away. “Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”
“For what?”
“I’ve been clean for three days. I say it’s cause for a celebration. How about I buy you breakfast?”
“I can’t let you do that. This is just a ride.”
“So, you got all dolled up for just a ride, huh? It makes sense – not! Keep playing hard to get, woman. When you crack, you’ll kick yourself for waiting so long.”
“What makes you think I’ll crack? You don’t know anything about me.”
“Go to breakfast with me and we’ll rectify that. It’s just a meal. I’m not asking to cop a feel under the table. I’ve had hospital food for days, and I’m starving. Besides, I don’t know anyone else around here. Come on. Who doesn’t love pancakes?”
Was I crazy? If I spent time with this guy was I setting myself up for failure? I felt strong until I was near him, and then my head was messed up. It was like he put a spell on me. Maybe I was so darn desperate that my vagina was making decisions before I could step in and rationalize with the repercussions? “Fine, just breakfast. Then I’m dropping you off and going back to my day. This is just a pit stop because I’m hungry.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
I went to a local pancake house my family frequented after Sunday service. It was the one time of the week where we were all together, including my grandparents. They reserved a large table in a separate room where they had banquets. We’d chat up a storm until well after lunch time. Usually we had the same waitress, but today there was someone new. She looked to be around my parent’s ages, but a rough life had made her appear older. She had tattoos on both arms, and none were done well. Her voice was hoarse, like she smoked way too many cigarettes. Her nice demeanor made up for the way she appeared. The waitress led us to a corner table, handed us some menus and told us she’d return later for our orders. From the moment I sat down across from Cole, I could tell something was wrong. “Are you okay?”
Addison Page 3
