“What about you?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I mean, I said it to a couple guys, but I’m not sure if I meant it.”
“Damn, you’re a heartbreaker.”
She laughed. “Whatever.” It took her a second to think of another question. “What was the worst moment of your life?” Maybe I shouldn’t have answered honestly, but I needed to get it off my chest. “Realizing I had a mother who never wanted me.”
She took a step toward me as I responded. “What about you? What’s the worst moment of your life.”
She shrugged. “I have a few I remember vividly. One is hitting rock bottom with drugs. I knew what I was doing to myself, but not my family. I still see that pain in their eyes sometimes. It’s hard. I think another one was learning what happened to my mother before I was born. She was taken by someone and held captive. He tortured her, and she lost a child. I didn’t learn about it until I was older. My mom sat us down and explained it. I can’t imagine what it was like for my dad, wondering if he’d ever see her again.”
In that moment I knew this game was over. I couldn’t continue playing around when her answer hit so close to home. “I’m getting hungry. Let’s get out and eat.”
“What? I’m almost to you.”
I started getting up, leaving her to wonder about my actions. As I hurried over and wrapped my naked body in a towel I contemplated asking her to take me home, but I couldn’t. I was so drawn to her; so determined to be with her, yet couldn’t figure out how to get past the lies that were haunting me during every moment we shared.
Chapter 11
Addison
Cole was doing it again, withdrawing from me. I didn’t understand. We were enjoying ourselves, and then, BAM, it was over. I wanted to drill him this time, but knew it would end in a disaster.
We both climbed out from the pool and sat down at a table to eat. He was across from me, popping a few fries in his mouth like nothing weird had just transpired.
Maybe it was better he stopped us. It was possible I was going to let him go further than I might be comfortable with. Then again, this wasn’t a one-night-stand scenario. Sure, I’d known him for a week, but physically I knew what I wanted. Those dormant parts of my body were taking control, not allowing me to rationalize with what would happen if I let go completely.
Another revelation which was quite obvious early on in the night was how I didn’t want to have to take him home. The house was large enough for both of us to stay, but did I know him enough? Could I trust this man? Joe never mentioned him being a criminal. Did I have to sleep with one eye open, or was I looking for reasons for him to have to go home?
As I struggled with myself over the decision, Cole decided to stand up and stretch, still naked. This time I couldn’t help from getting an eye full. “Um, you might want to cover up.”
Looking away would solve nothing at this point. The image was etched into my mind forever – a well endowed one at that.
“See something you might want to explore, precious?”
I looked into his eyes as I spoke. “I hope my brother walks up and sees you.”
“Will he kick my ass?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
He sat back down. “I don’t want to cause trouble. I’d hate to give him a beat down on his own turf.”
“Noah can hold his own,” I replied.
“Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’m a lover not a fighter.”
“You’re not even going to cover up are you?”
“Are you afraid?”
“No! Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Curious?”
I raised my brow to appear serious. “You must be kidding. You’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.”
“So you wouldn’t say mine was particularly special?”
“Are we seriously discussing your dick?”
He leaned forward and folded his hands on the table. “What else would you rather talk about?”
“If you put your shorts back on I might let you spend the night.”
This got his ass moving. He rose from his seat and pulled his shorts on without argument. When he was finished he stood over me. “Was that quick enough for you?”
I stood and started cleaning up the mess from our food. After shoving everything back in the bag, I wrapped a towel around my body, picked up my clothes, and started walking inside the cold air-conditioned house. “Come on. Let’s go in before we get eaten up by bugs.”
I could tell Cole was intrigued by the massive size of the house. It was extremely large, built by my grandfather as a home he could pass down to his family. My father built his own home, and so did my brother. Now my sister was doing the same. With thousands of acres in our name, it wasn’t hard for people to want to spread out. Eventually I’d be living here, alone, and overwhelmed. If it weren’t for our forever visiting family, I didn’t see my Gram living in it much longer. It was too much to keep up with. Most of the rooms never even got used, and when they did it was only for a place to sleep.
I took my time showing Cole around the place, explaining how the one wing was where my Gram resided. The other section was basically unused. People had lived there in the past, but now the rooms sat dormant.
I opened one of my favorite rooms that overlooked the pool. “This will be where you sleep tonight. There’s a bathroom in there if you need to shower.”
“Wait. Where are you sleeping?”
I pointed to the room across the hall. “This is where I always stay. It’s the same as the room you’re in.”
“This is a test, right? You’re trying to see if I’ll be cool about staying separately?”
“It’s not a test. I’m sleeping in my room, and you can have the one across the hall. Driving you home is out of the question. I plan on watching movies with you until I get tired, and then I’ll go to bed. If you’re a gentleman I may let you kiss me goodnight.”
“Fine. I’ll play along, just to prove to you that I can withstand.”
“No doubt, Cole. I’m sure you will.”
“Hey,” he grabbed my arm and pulled me close while still standing in the hall between the two rooms. “If you want me to find a ride home I will. You don’t have to make room for me.”
“I think we’ve proven how much I like having you around.” I looked down at his crotch as I said the next phrase. “Especially after seeing what you have to offer.”
“Mmhmm, I wanted to leave a lasting impression, precious.”
I couldn’t resist this man, even when he acted full of himself. He was so casual. I envied his ability to be that way; to not dwell on what could be happening in my life and living each day to the fullest. I was drawn to it, needing to learn how to express myself in that same lifestyle.
“What would you say if I asked you to camp out in my room and watch movies until it’s time to go to sleep? My gram always has ice cream and popcorn.”
“You know I only want to be close to you, so I’m game.”
He was also sweet, an irresistible trait I couldn’t ignore. Did I want to sleep with this guy?
Hell yes I did.
The only thing keeping me from jumping his bones was the walk of shame I knew I’d take when I awoke the next morning. I wanted the timing to be right. If he really enjoyed my company the way I did his, he’d wait. “Go climb in bed, with your clothes on, by the way, and I’ll go make us some snacks.”
He yanked me backwards by the hem of my shirt. “Don’t go without saying goodbye. You really need to practice that.”
I kissed him tenderly on the mouth. “You should put a shirt on.”
“Not happening. I like how I make you drool.”
I shoved him in a playful way. “Go away. You’re terrible.”
I didn’t wait for Cole to say something else. Instead I hurried downstairs to make us some snacks. There was no need to dirty up the living room. We could watch anything up in the room I was staying in.
Since she’d gone out of town la
st minute, I didn’t have time to consider I might be entertaining anyone, especially a sexy guy. I scavenged through the cabinets looking for something interesting. I made popcorn and grabbed a bunch of waters. Then with my teeth, I held a quart of ice cream and carried it upstairs.
Cole was lounged back on the bed, flipping through the channels. He turned on his side as he saw me walking in the room with my hands full. “Did you bring the whole kitchen?”
I handed him the items and got the rest situated on the bedside table. “I didn’t want to go back down.”
He patted the spot beside him. “Get in here with me.”
“I want to get a shower first.”
“Alone?”
My hands went to my hips. “Absolutely.”
“How sure are you of that decision? I mean, is there room for change?”
“Give me your best argument why I should shower with you. I want to hear it.” This was going to be good.
Cole sat on the edge of the bed and cracked his knuckles like he was warming up. “Okay, here goes nothing.” He looked up at me while taking my hands in his. “You say we’re still strangers, right?”
“I’m listening.”
“What better way to change that then to get naked and discover every unknown inch of each other?”
In a completely twisted way it made sense, though he wasn’t going to win so easily. “You’re crazy if you think I’m falling for that.”
“Tell me you’re not attracted to me. Say you don’t like what you’ve already seen.”
“Why would I say that? You know it’s not true.”
“Addison, I’m just a man, who is seriously attracted to you. All I’m asking is to be able to show you just how much. What would it hurt if we took our clothes off and climbed under the shower together? I’ll wash your back, and you can wash whatever your heart desires of mine. There are no off limit areas.”
My cheeks were burning, as was the rest of my body. I knew he could tell, though he didn’t call me out on it. He was so blunt about things. I couldn’t begin to come up with rational reasons to talk myself out of what he was suggesting. At times like this we weren’t two addicts sneaking around to be together. We were simply two people starting something new. I wanted to explore what it felt like to lose myself completely with him. I could already feel his touch on me, even though he was only holding my hands. He’d seen my chest. How bad would it be if I let him see everything else? Wasn’t it only skin?
I backed us both up toward the bathroom, saying nothing as I did it. Cole leaned forward kissing me with urgency for what was to follow. I’d never showered with anyone before. Out of all my sexual endeavors I’d never done something so ordinary with someone I was attracted to. I knew very well where this kind of act could lead. “I’m agreeing to a shower, Cole,” I explained while turning on the water.
He nodded and brushed his lips over mine. “I’ll do whatever you tell me.”
His hands left mine and went behind his back. I stepped away from him and lifted my shirt over my head. He’d already seen my breasts, so I didn’t feel shy when I unclasped my bra and tossed it on the floor. My arms fell down to my sides, watching as he took me in. I kept having to swallow the nervous knots as they formed in my throat. “You’re making me feel like I’m being judged.”
His arm lifted and I felt his pinky finger tracing the skin between my breasts. “You’re fucking perfect.” His words, certain, practiced, echoed off my skin as his lips coursed over my neck. “I could get lost in you.”
I closed my eyes as I felt him unfastening my shorts, taking them and my panties down at the same time. He kneeled as he did it, ending up face to face with my most private of areas. I tried to put my hands there to cover myself, but he moved them, whispering something under his breath so I couldn’t hear.
I was gasping for air, exposed fully to this man like I was on display. His hands held my hips while I watched his face narrowing in on my prize. Nervous didn’t begin to explain how vulnerable I felt. Slow and steady, his lips kissed the base of my pussy. He kept them there for a second, leaving me breathless.
Cole stared up at me as he stood. His focus was obvious. “I’ll only go as far as you let me.”
“I know.” And I did know. I trusted him, completely. More than I should. “That’s what I’m afraid of. What if I can’t stop.”
He unbuttoned his shorts, shoving them down until he was just as naked as me. Then he backed us into the shower. Once inside, he ran his hands over my wet hair. “Close your eyes, precious.”
I did as he requested, closing my eyes while trembling. Lathered hands started on my hair, scrubbing out the chlorine from the pool. He moved me in direct contact with the beads of water, making sure it was rinsed thoroughly. I could feel the smoothness of the conditioner being rubbed in, and then quickly rinsed out. It was quiet for a second. The sounds of him moving things around was apparent. His hands began rubbing my shoulders. They were slippery, full of aromatic soap. Cole was gentle, working his way over my skin as if I were fragile. He was gentle, careful even, on occasion kissing me where he’d just washed.
When he reached my breasts I gasped. I was too consumed to open my eyes, not that I’d be able to see anything. He was still behind me, working his magic hands over every part of me. He turned me around once he finished my back side, running a hot cloth between the crack of my ass. I knew if I opened my eyes I’d see him taking me in, and I wasn’t prepared to handle it, even though I knew it was taking place. Exactly like the back, he took his time washing my skin, narrowing in on the final area he’d yet to explore. I could feel the rag as his lips brushed over mine, tracing the skin of my pussy. He rubbed it harder, causing my knees to become feeble and wobbly. A tiny cry escaped my lips when I realized the rag had dropped and his hand was now doing all the work. His kisses were slow paced, like he had plenty of time left to spend. I finally opened my eyes when he was left holding me close to him. “You’re all finished,” he announced with a ornery grin.
I smiled back and gave him room to clean himself. Cole acted as if he were alone, washing quickly with no regard for me being so close and watching. He turned around and gave me the bar of soap, not even having to say what he wanted. I lathered my hands together and began at his shoulders, massaging the bubbles into his skin. Every muscle was flexed, hard and defined. He was scrumptious enough to imagine licking. I traced the shape with my fingers as I worked lower, finally getting to his tight little ass. I used both hands to lather the cheeks and then turned him so he’d be able to rinse off.
He kissed me once again, this time teasing me with his exposed tongue. When he pulled away he backed himself out, only to reach in and offer me a towel. I turned off the water and met him outside, feeling it being wrapped around my wet body.
Cole took my hand and led me back in the bedroom. He pulled the covers down and motioned for me to climb in. I was fully aware we were both naked, but I wasn’t concerned about what would happen. At this point I was barely able to keep from begging him for more.
Cole climbed in on the opposite side and pulled me into his arms. With little effort I was on my side facing him. He kissed my forehead and held me against his chest. There was a bowl of ice cream on the bedside table melting away, but I didn’t dare mention it. This felt too right to ruin. This side of Cole was making me wonder how on earth I’d ever be able to keep myself from falling for him. It was obvious how interested I already was, but he was so careful, understanding, and above all someone I could relate to.
“I’ve never done this before.”
“What?”
“Relaxed.” It was the proper word to use. It’s how I felt. He’d washed me, and put me to bed. I was in his strong arms, warm and cozy. “Don’t let go.”
Another kiss was placed on the top of my head. “Does this mean I get to sleep in here with you?”
I nodded, but answered anyway. “Yeah.”
“Good. Get some sleep, Addison.”
�
�Goodnight Cole.”
Some women may have laid there awake contemplating making a move, but not me. I closed my eyes and imagined a future with Cole; what it would be like and if everyone would be able to accept it. He was everything I’d ever wanted and more. I had a chance to be with him; to have a real relationship again. Being with him was natural. I felt alive and content. He enjoyed my company, not to mention made me feel like I was the only woman on the planet. And as if that wasn’t enough, he’d shown me that sex wasn’t his first priority. He was proving to me that two people could be together , intimately and never have sex. I didn’t think it was possible before, but as I laid there wrapped in his arms, naked, I knew I’d been wrong. This man was changing me. After one week he’d become someone I wanted to stick around. I just needed to figure out how to make it happen.
Chapter 12
Cole
It was hard knowing that every moment I spent with Addison could be my last. I was trying to not let myself get too attached, but she was perfect in every way imaginable. She was the kind of girl a guy dreams of finding, the kind to barely exist.
Holding her in my arms, clothed or not, made all my struggles dissipate. She was like climbing into a bed with clean sheets and never wanting to get out. The smell of her filled my nostrils, reminding me this wasn’t a dream. We were together, alone, and it felt right. Sure, we’d only known each other for a little amount of time, but who is to judge when you’re having a good time with someone?
Addison stirred and cozied into my body more. I kicked off the covers a while back because the heat from us being so close was causing me to sweat. She slept soundly, as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
I studied the dark room, what I was able to make out, and wondered if my uncle had ever been here. Is this where Addison’s aunt stayed when they were together? Surely they would have changed the mattresses.
I thought about what it was like back then, their relationship mostly. Did they get along, or was it hard for them to have things in common since my family came from nothing, while hers had it all.
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