“I thought you were –.”
“Addy. You thought I was my sister. I’m good with that, but what’s got me confused is why you’d be apologizing. What did you do?”
My shoulders dropped. What was I supposed to say. “I told her we needed to slow down.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “Well now that’s a first.”
“I’m Cole.” I extended my hand to him.
He shook mine with a firm grip. “Noah. She’s obviously my sister. I don’t want to make your day any worse, but my dad’s got me checking on you, making sure she’s not going against his wishes. You need to keep in mind, she’s the baby. He’s having a hard time accepting she’s a big girl.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
“Anyway, if you need anything give me a holler. Take the road out back and make your first left. You can’t miss the house. My wife is Shalan. Do me a favor and don’t ask for her autograph.”
“Why would I do that?”
“She’s a country singer.”
“Whoa. Your wife is THE Shalan? She’s got that hit, Broken Love Darlin’.”
He laughed and shook his head like he was sick of hearing about it. “Yeah, that’s one of them.”
“Congrats on that, man. Wow. She’s famous and shit.”
“Yep. Anyway, you can imagine how hard it is for her to be in public. We’ve got a son and we like our privacy.”
I put up my hands. “I won’t bother either of you. This is temporary until I find something else. Until then, I won’t be a problem.”
“Good to meet you, Cole. I’ll be seeing you around. Oh,” he added. “Don’t hurt my sister. She’s fragile.”
When I got back in the house it didn’t take me long to hate my decision to push her away. Addison deserved to know the truth, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
She showed up at my house a little while later. I would have never expected her to be standing on the other side of the door, but felt happy when she was. “Hey,” I said when I opened it.
“Hey. About earlier.”
I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her inside. I couldn’t take it, being so close to her and not feeling her skin against mine. “I’m an idiot. I never should have said that shit to you.”
She shoved me away. “You jerk. You made me cry. I felt like you used me.”
“Addison, think about every time we’ve been together. Have I ever acted selfish? I wasn’t using you, not even for a second.”
She shoved me again. “You can’t do that. You can’t treat me like I’m the enemy. I know you’re not used to being in an honest relationship, but you’re supposed to come to me when things are wrong. You need to stop blaming yourself for the hard childhood you were handed. It’s never been your fault. Life isn’t about where you came from. I told you this before. You keep pushing me away, telling me it’s for the best. It’s not though. I want to be happy, don’t you?”
“Yes. I know. I get it. There’s just things about me you don’t know. I feel like if you did you’d hate me.”
“Just tell me.” If only she knew how much I wanted to. “What could be so bad to make you think that? You’re not married. You don’t have kids. You aren’t a criminal.”
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m not ready. It’s something I’ve carried with me my whole life. I won’t jeopardize what’s happening between us, not when I can’t be sure I won’t lose you.”
“Is this about drugs?” She took a step back.
“No. It’s not about anything like that. It’s about my past. It’s about something that happened with my family.”
Addison took my hand in hers. She looked up at me with those beautiful green eyes. “I don’t care about the past. I live in the now. The past can’t hurt us. Don’t you get that?”
In this case she was wrong. It could destroy us. “Yeah, I guess.”
‘’I came here to give you a piece of my mind. It’s obvious I like you. I thought about you all damn day. I slept with you. I took my clothes off willingly for you. I don’t do things like this, not with anyone. You’re either hot or cold. It’s confusing the hell out of me. All I know is that if I can’t stop thinking about you then there’s a good chance I won’t want this thing between us to end.”
“I thought about you too. I wondered if you were ever going to talk to me again. I wondered if I’d ruined everything,” I exclaimed.
“I don’t care if it’s been one week or fifty, I know what we have feels right.” She seemed like she was getting choked up. “I don’t want to have my heart broken, but I also can’t imagine giving up, not yet.”
If I could explain how much I wanted to take her fears away. “I don’t either.”
She stepped closer. “I won’t be the one to break your heart if that’s what you’re afraid of. I’m not your ex. There isn’t an ulterior motive to this relationship.”
I covered my face. “I hate talking about this shit.”
“We need to. I’ve got too much at stake if I fail at something else. I don’t give up easily. There’s always a solution.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t want to break your heart either. You’re the nicest person I’ve ever met.”
“So don’t. Be with me. Live every day to the fullest. Don’t hold back.” Then she whispered something that caught me off guard. It was something I knew we shouldn’t consider, something I was fighting to keep from feeling. “Love me.”
“You don’t want that, precious. I can’t be a forever kind of guy.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Why couldn’t this be easy? “What do you want out of this?”
She shrugged but didn’t stop looking into my eyes. “I want someone to love me for everything I am, and all I’ll never be.”
I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn’t do it, but something inside of me wouldn’t let it happen. I was the person she wanted. I was the man who could love her for all those reasons. Why was life so cruel to bring us together when I knew I couldn’t have her. “What if it doesn’t last? What if you discover I’m not as good as you peg me to be?” I asked in a whisper.
“I’m willing to ride it out for as long as we can. Am I wrong for feeling like something is happening between us? I’m not trying to be pushy. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I want to tell you everything about me. I feel alive when we’re together. I miss you when you’re not around. When you kiss me nothing else in the world exists. Is it all a façade or do you feel it too? Please, Cole. I need to know if I’m being ridiculous.”
The truth was undeniable. My voice was raspy. “It’s real. It’s so fucking real I can’t stop it from happening. Trust me, I’ve tried, because I know I’m going to screw it up, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.” I pulled her close, leaning down and feeling her soft lips crushing against mine. My intentions were obvious, and she knew it. I picked her up and carried her into the first bedroom. I think before her ass hit the mattress, I was removing her shirt. Within seconds we were both undressed. We didn’t talk, or pause. It was unadulterated, rushed even. Our goal was simple; a race to euphoria – makeup sex at it’s best. She rode me into the sunset and then back home again. Sweat dripped down her curves, making it hard to hold on, but she never stopped. When I finished I was winded, on the brink of exhaustion. We lay there together, holding hands and letting the ceiling fan do it’s best to cool us down.
Addison rolled over and spoke first. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared.”
“It’s more than that.”
“I’m asking you to be with me. Are you saying it’s not possible?” After what just transpired how could she ask this? It should have been my out – the noble way to let her go. I could end this and avoid the pain in the future we’d both suffer from.
The selfish me wouldn’t let it happen though. “No. I’m not. I wouldn’t. I can’t.”
She grinned, reaching up to kiss me, while never letting go of my hand. “Good. Now, get dressed and come wit
h me.”
As much as I needed rest after out latest tryst, I climbed off the mattress and put my clothes back on, watching her do the same. Addison took my hand and pulled me out of the bedroom. She was leading us outside. “Where are we going?”
“To my house.”
I jerked my arm back. This chick was crazy. “Hell no! Your brother came over earlier. I am not digging my grave. Your father made it clear.”
She didn’t seem amused. “I’m asking you to come to my house. He said I couldn’t stay at yours. My dad did not say anything about my house.”
“Precious, you know what he meant.”
“Please.”
“I’d rather get a hotel room,” I honestly admitted.
“Don’t make me beg.”
From that moment I gave into temptation. I threw caution to the wind and let her lead. If this was going to be my funeral, at least I’d die happy.
Chapter 17
Cole
We were inseparable after that day.
Addison would take me to work and pick me up afterwards. We’d share meals talking about life. I knew everything there was to know about her. We never ran out of things to discuss. I was in awe of her, completely and utterly captivated by everything she stood for. It was obvious what was happening between us, but I knew I’d never bring it up. It was too soon. We were still vulnerable.
We snuck around against her father’s wishes, seeing each other every second we could for the next week. Each day only made my feelings stronger. When I held her, it felt right. When we kissed, it was like her lips were meant for mine. When I woke up next to her, I knew it was where I belonged.
I’m not a sappy person. I’ve never believed in fate, coincidence, or anything superstitious, but something was pulling us together, making our connection undeniable. This wasn’t a heated affair that confused lust with love. I didn’t have to have sex with her to know how I felt. She made me a better person. In fourteen days she’d become incredibly important.
We were in bed. The clock displaying it was still too early to rise. Her hair was scattered across the pillow next to me. Her eyes completely fixed on mine, while no words were being said. This was how we’d been waking up. We were in sync. “There’s something I need to tell you,” she whispered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, as you know my parents will be home this afternoon. Of course you’ll be expected to meet the whole family, and if that’s not overwhelming enough, my dad wants you to fill out a rental agreement. It’s just to make sure you pay on time and such. He’ll take down your social security number and do a background check. I just didn’t want you to feel like it was out of nowhere.”
She couldn’t know how worried I was to put my last name down on that paper. I had to lie though. I couldn’t tell any of them I was related to Tucker Chase. “Okay. My record is fine. I got in trouble when I was a minor, but it was reduced. I ratted on the person I got the stuff from so I got probation. Since then my record is clean. I don’t even have a speeding ticket.”
“How’s your credit?”
“It’s fine. Good even. This is crazy.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I already put your first months rent on his desk. He won’t even get to it until everyone has left.”
“I wish I could erase how we met and start over again.”
Addison grinned. “You want to know how to make my dad like you?”
“Duh. Yeah.”
“Show him how much you like me.”
I started tickling her naked body. “That won’t be hard.”
She screamed and tried to free herself from my hold. A knock at the door caught us off guard. Christian stood on the other side, Noah right behind her. “Um, you might want to get up. Mom and Dad left before the sun came up. Didn’t you hear your phone going off?”
“It died,” she confessed, while pulling the covers up to hide how exposed she really was. “Do you mind?”
Noah and I caught gazes. His jaw was clenching, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but it wasn’t anything good. “Just hurry up. I don’t need extra shit to deal with.” Was all he said before disappearing.
“Shit.” Addison hopped out of bed, not paying any mind to her sister still standing there. She threw on a shirt and tossed me my shorts. “Do you think Noah will tell?”
“He’s been sleeping here all week. I doubt it.”
“I hope you’re right, or else Dad is going to flip.”
“I think you two are cute. If you ask me, it’ll be fine.” Chris closed the door behind her when she exited the room.
I looked at Addison, who in turn was doing the same to me. “We’re screwed. I’m done. He’s going to drag me into the woods, murder and skin me.”
“No he won’t. We’re not screwed. Just get dressed and meet me downstairs. I’ll handle my brother.”
I dressed quickly, putting the clothes on I’d worn the day before. “You know it’s not that simple. I’m a stranger.”
We met in the bathroom, sharing a toothbrush since I didn’t have one at her parents house. Addison pulled me close, hugging me. “They won’t hurt you because I’m falling in love with you,” she whispered in my ear.
Before I was able to respond she turned around and walked out of the bathroom. I stood there for second, dumbfounded.
By the time I made it downstairs, the three of them were standing together and a blonde I’d never seen before was sitting on the couch. Noah gave me a dirty look then turned his attention back to the girl. Addison motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen. She pulled me along, finally turning around to explain. “That’s my cousin Cassie. She had it out with her parents last night and showed up at Christian’s house with the guy they forbid her to be with. It’s a long story. Anyway, he’s still there with Ethan, while Cassie waits here to talk to her parents.”
“Are they almost here?”
“Apparently everyone is.”
“I should go.”
Addison nodded. “I know. Go on out the kitchen door. Take the golf cart. I’ll walk over and get it later.”
I wanted to talk about what she’d said to me, but chancing an encounter with her family wasn’t worth it in the long run. “Just text me later. I’ll have Minx pick me up for work so you don’t have to take me.”
“I have to go to work. It’s not a big deal. I’ll pick you up at ten. I need to get a shower and send in an assignment for my class. I’ve got to be at the hospital by eleven.”
I lifted her chin while she was still talking and kissed her. “I’ll be ready. Do what you have to do. My first appointment isn’t until one.”
“About what I said.”
“We can talk about it later. We’re good. Don’t worry.”
I headed back to the trailer to shower and get ready for work. Her words continued to echo in my mind. Love. It was a word with strong meaning, a word full of promise. It was a word that could destroy me.
With that being said, I called my friend and asked him to pick me up for work. I shot Addison a message letting her know I went ahead and arranged for transportation. She’d get her feelings hurt, but I needed time to focus before facing her. I needed to reflect on what was ahead and how in the world I was going to buy myself enough time to come up with an excuse for keeping it from Addison, before her father discovered it and ruined everything.
It’s me. Minx is getting me for work. Pick me up whenever you’re done. Text me so I can have my station cleaned up. – C
I told you I’d take you. – A
Do your family stuff. I’m good. I’ll see you later. – C
Is this about what I said to you? – A
No. All is good. – C
Okay. See you later. – A
Minx picked me up early so I could go look at a motorcycle someone wanted to barter a full piece with. Since I specialized in three dimensional art, he thought I’d be a better fit and offered me the job. It was a nice bike. I accepted the offer, esp
ecially since I needed my own means of transportation. In good faith, he let me take it with me to try it out and make sure everything ran properly. As soon as I arrived at work I got started on the man’s drawing. In between appointments I’d add more intricate pieces.
Time got away from me. Before I knew it Addison had shown up ready to leave. She’d messaged me and I hadn’t even checked it. I could tell she seemed frustrated. “You’re the one who told me text you.”
“I know. Something came up. I’ve been enthralled with this new piece. It’s going to be epic.”
“My whole family is at the ranch. I wanted us to arrive together.”
“I still need to clean up here. I’ll be another thirty minutes at least. Why don’t you head home. I’ll call you when I get there. You can pick me up and we’ll spend the evening introducing me to everyone.”
I thought she was going to argue, but she sighed and kissed me goodbye on the cheek. I knew she was annoyed with me. She never kissed me on the cheek. “Precious, come here.”
She turned but didn’t budge. “I’ll meet you at the ranch, Cole.”
“Are you mad?”
“I went out of my way to get you. The least you could have done was message me this morning when you knew you had a ride.”
“Hold up,” I said as I chased after her into the parking lot. “Is this about me or something else?”
“I lost someone I cared about today.”
“What? A family member?”
She leaned against her car and started sniffling. I pulled her into my arms and felt her losing it. “Someone from the meetings. He overdosed last night. They kept him on life support until his family could arrive to say goodbye. It just reminded me of why I do what I do. I don’t want to ever want to feel that alone. That’s why I’m happy you’ve come into my life. Before I was a nervous wreck if I was bored. I felt like I’d slip, even though I didn’t want to use. This breaks my heart. I saw them today.”
“Who,” I asked.
“His family. I was there when they arrived. I was making my rounds, counseling the new patients and letting them know there was help beyond the hospital. My friend Sammy told me about my friend. I’d wanted to pay my respects, but walked in to find them hearing about his death. You should have seen them falling apart right in front of the doctor. That man was a firefighter. He saved lives. All it took was his wife taking his children away and he needed an out. The drugs made him forget his pain. They made him not care.”
Addison Page 13
