“Then good thing I’m such a great shot. Or that I could heal you if I had bruised more than your ego.”
“Are we ever going to have another meeting?” I asked as the final student exited the room.
“When the student is ready, the teacher shall appear,” Mr. Gordon said playfully. “Name your time and lesson two begins.”
“How about right now?”
“You have art right now; don’t think I forgot. After school, I’ll be here.”
“Fine,” I said and headed off to Mr. Jeffers’s class.
I was almost done with my Halloween picture and somehow Desiree had passed me—she was already flipping through magazines searching for her next muse. Andy was absent today. The other artists were lost in their works.
“Desiree fell asleep in history.” I had just wanted to say something.
“Hey!” Desiree exclaimed. “I did not!”
“Okay, Desiree,” I chuckled. She couldn’t tell the truth about anything today. I was beginning to think she was a habitual liar.
I finished my drawing halfway through class, put my pencil down, sat back, and marveled at my accomplishment. I sat there not wanting to start or think about anything new. So I spent the rest of my time helping Desiree go through possible pictures. I dropped my finished masterpiece on Mr. Jeffers’s desk and headed back to Mr. Gordon’s classroom, wondering what I was in store for today.
“Everything we work on together will reinforce the perception of no doubt. Gradually, you will see more things becoming possible and this will further reinforce the elimination of doubt. Are you ready to go back to the Room of Enlightenment?” Mr. Gordon asked, seated at his desk.
“Is that what it’s called?”
“We can call it whatever you like. I thought the ‘Room of Enlightenment’ sounded better than ‘The Cellar’ or ‘The Basement,’ but I’m open to suggestions.”
I looked over at the wall where the door was during our last meeting and saw it had returned on schedule. It opened gracefully under its own power.
Mr. Gordon followed me down the spiral staircase. The room looked the same, with the solitary table and circle of illuminated floating orbs. Mr. Gordon and I took seats at the table across from each other. Again, the pulsating glow from the orbs brightened, inviting liberated shadows to dance lithely upon the walls.
“I’ll let you in on a secret. This is the secret that separates truly successful people from everyone else. Focus on what you want. Fighting against what you don’t want just puts all your energy and attention on what you don’t want. Don’t waste your time, energy, and attention on what you don’t want—on worst-case scenarios. Focus on best-case scenarios. Focus on what you want to achieve. Do this without the thought of failure, and you will achieve anything you set your mind to—you’ll understand that it’s inevitable and, therefore, be absolute in your persistence.” Mr. Gordon paused. “What do you want?”
What did I want? How could I even begin to answer that simple, yet impossible question?
I wanted to remember what the fire had stolen from me.
I wanted to remember my father.
I wanted to just be able to picture my father. I had no face for him.
I looked across the table at Mr. Gordon. If I could picture anyone as my father, it would be him. Was it better to have a face that was an obvious lie or no face at all? The answer to that question was something I did not want to know.
8
To the Mall
“Hello?” I asked, answering my cell phone.
“Hey, Oliver. Your mission—if you choose to accept it—is to meet at my house, Sunday, at 1:30. We’ll raid the mall and find the best freakin’ Halloween costumes around. We will leave at 1:30 sharp, so don’t be late.” Short pause. “This is Desiree, by the way.”
“I figured that out about halfway through your spiel.”
“Oh, good. Do you accept?”
“I already told you I’d go.”
“Okay then, I’ll see you on Sunday, at 1:30, or we will leave without you.”
“First of all, no, you won’t. You’d knock on my front door before you left me. And second, I’ll see you tomorrow in class. It’s only Thursday.”
“See you tomorrow. Good night,” Desiree said brusquely and hung up.
“Good night,” I said to an empty line. That was my first phone conversation with Desiree, and I admit it was strange and dramatic, like everything with her.
There were only so many geometry proofs I could do in one sitting. I left my homework unfinished and made myself a snack. Mom came in with an empty glass and fumbled with bottles in the cupboard over the stove. She poured herself a quarter-glass of store-brand vodka, the kind that only comes in plastic bottles. She leaned against the counter and took a sip as I laid out a paper towel and grabbed a jar of peanut butter to spread on my browning toast.
“Is everything okay?” she asked quietly. She swirled the alcohol in its glass.
“Sure. Why?”
“You’ve just been quiet, that’s all. School going okay?”
“Yeah, school’s fine.”
“Sometimes I think about your father and wonder how different our lives would be if he hadn’t gotten killed. I miss him a lot. I wish he could’ve seen you and your brother growing up, turning into such fine young men. He’d be so proud. I love Richard so much, but I wish you boys could’ve had your father, you know?”
“I know, Mom. But he’d want us to be happy, right? I bet he’s happy you found Richard.”
She took a gulp like she was drinking water. “I’m sure you’re right.”
I steadily ate my toast and wanted to get away from her before she broke down, which was only a matter of time. I wanted to support her, but there wasn’t much I could do for her at this point. She was lost in the emotional haze and would have to sleep it off.
“I’m sure you’re right,” she said again and slid down the side of the cabinet until she hit the floor. With one leg extended and one folded in, she tried to push herself up. She had one hand on the floor, which she used feebly to balance herself as she pushed, but she collapsed again under her own weight.
Jeremy walked through the doorway and stopped. He took one look at her and then at me before advancing to her aid. He snatched the nearly empty glass from her hand and placed it in the sink. He sat down beside her and acted as Richard would have, and she wept and mumbled incoherently.
“It’s okay,” Jeremy consoled her and rubbed her arm as she cried into his shirt.
He always swooped in and made me obsolete. Every time Mom became a drunken mess he seemed to sense it somehow and conveniently show up. Then pass her off to Richard.
I got ready for bed, found Frolics, and lured him into my room. I was strangely getting used to the feeling that someone else shared the room with me, and Frolics made that feeling friendlier. I kicked the doorstop to make sure it was firmly secured under the door before turning off the light. I nestled under my covers and tried to think of nothing at all so I could more quickly fall asleep.
I opened my eyes to the sound of Frolics sitting up, his tags clinking together. He looked over at me, panting, and strolled out of the room. My door suddenly closed behind him. I didn’t get up to reopen it or check to see if Frolics had kicked the doorstop out from its secured location. I felt TJ with me and hoped he wasn’t angry. I tried not to be afraid. I tried to go to sleep with a different guardian watching over me. And finally I did.
Sunday.
I left my house at 1:15 p.m. and headed toward Desiree’s house. I didn’t need fifteen minutes to get there, but I didn’t want to risk being late, even though Desiree’s threats were empty. The sky was clear, but there was a cool breeze to remind us that fall was here and winter would be nipping at its heels. I was excited to get out. It was an afternoon away from adult supervision and an afternoon away from Jeremy flaunting Leslie in my face.
Approaching Desiree’s house, I spotted Eli’s older Nissan sedan in t
he driveway. I rang the doorbell. It didn’t take long for the door to crack open and reveal a curious pair of eyes peering up at me.
“Who are you?” the young girl guarding the door said in her best adult voice.
“I’m Oliver. What’s your name?”
“Melanie. Mommy says she doesn’t want any more magazines.”
“I’m not selling magazines,” I said, finding it hard to believe the gall of this kid. “I came to see Desiree. Can you let her know I’m here?”
“Desi already has a boyfriend,” Melanie said.
“I’m not—I didn’t—can you just get Desiree?”
The sound of footsteps came skipping down the stairs and Melanie was yanked from the doorway. Desiree opened the door wider and stood there with her arm wrapped around the backside, leaning forward. She greeted me with a smile and silence, and continued to barricade the door with her body.
“Sorry about Melanie. She’s ten and ten’s difficult.”
“That’s okay. I think she mistook me for one of your many suitors.”
“Yeah, right,” she said and moved back, opening the door all the way. “Come on in and make yourself comfortable.”
I stepped across the threshold and into a sunken tiled entryway. The tiles led straight back to what looked like the kitchen. To the right a pair of steps led to a raised family room with hardwood flooring. The furniture was modern, a decent-sized flat screen hung from the wall, and an antique piano and several potted plants accented the room.
Desiree didn’t give me the tour. Instead she bounded up the stairs and returned only moments later with Eli behind her. Where was the time to get comfortable?
We were off to pick up Anna. I climbed in the back seat of Eli’s car and sat quietly, listening to the reggae music jamming from the speakers behind me. We took a right on Santa Clara, the first left, then went through a few smaller neighborhood streets and pulled up into Anna’s driveway on the edge of a cul-de-sac. I had no idea Anna lived so close. The drive couldn’t have been more than two minutes.
Eli left the engine running, and Desiree jumped out of the car and skipped up to the front door. The door opened, and Desiree disappeared inside.
I felt uneasy sitting in the car with just Eli. He sang along to the music and made no attempt to start a conversation.
Luckily, Desiree came out with Anna moments later. Anna had exchanged her typical Dickies for jeans and had her hair slicked back instead of jostled and spiky. She also had a crinkly purse—the size of a small backpack—with large rings instead of straps. She opened the door to the back seat and asked me to scoot over instead of walking around to the other door. I should have locked the door. But I scooted.
“Hey, Oliver,” Anna said as she stepped into the car.
“Did you fit your Ouija board in there?” I asked, looking at her purse.
Desiree turned around and gave me her usual look of disapproval. Why does she even like me? I seemed to always say the wrong thing. But the comment went relatively unnoticed by the uninformed party, and Anna laughed it off.
“Do we know what we’re looking for?” Eli asked to everyone in the car.
“Nope,” Desiree said immediately.
“Did you send out the Evite for the party yet?” Anna asked Desiree.
Desiree tugged at her seat belt to give herself the flexibility to turn and face us. She draped one arm around the side of the headrest for leverage.
“Yeah, I sent you a draft just before we left.”
“Let’s see,” Anna said, rummaging through her purse. She first took out a pack of gum. Desiree and Eli took a stick and I followed suit out of courtesy. It turned out to be cinnamon flavored, which I truly hated. But I smiled and chewed. Anna then grabbed her cell phone, slid it open, and began typing away on the mini keyboard. “Looks good.”
“It’s gonna be awesome! Anna, we need to start thinking about food and drinks.”
“Absolutely,” Anna said, and clicked her cell phone closed. The car was quiet for a while, apart from the reggae music, as we flew down the interstate.
We reached the mall about ten minutes later and still no one was talking. Maybe they were deep in planning mode. After seeing Desiree’s house for the first time today, I envisioned what it would look like all decked out for Halloween. We all got out of the car and—as soon as the doors closed and the beep of the automatic locks sounded—the girls’ enthusiasm erupted.
“The perfect costumes are just waiting for us, I can feel it!” Anna said to Desiree. Desiree exploded with excitement, and we pursued our shopping destiny to find the best Halloween costumes in the history of costumes.
“Where to first?” Anna asked as we passed through the double sliding doors. Desiree grabbed Eli’s hand, Anna walked right behind them, and I hurried to catch up after evading people walking against me.
“There should be a costume shop just around the corner. It’s been vacant for a couple months.” Desiree turned to us and pointed ahead without breaking stride. We turned the corner and immediately saw the store to which Desiree was referring. But the glass doors were shut and the gate behind them was down. There were only a few emergency lights on inside that gave the store a creepy aura. Monster mannequins stared out at us with menace and vengeance. And a great assortment of masks lined the upper walls like trophies of the bogeyman. There were so many wonderful and demented costumes to choose from, the only problem was the store was not open.
“Well this sucks,” Eli said first, looking at the sign that said: STORE OPENING NEXT WEEK.
“I could’ve sworn they were opening this weekend,” Desiree said and walked up to the glass and put her hands up around her eyes to peer into the dark, empty store.
“I guess my intuition let me down. So we came here for nothing?” Anna asked.
Desiree turned back to the group and still looked upbeat and hopeful. She wasn’t going to let this setback derail our afternoon mission. “There are other places we can check out. They must’ve changed the opening date for some reason. I distinctly remember seeing an ad for them opening this weekend.”
We walked down to a trendy Goth store on the opposite side of the corridor. Screaming metal music blasted through the overhead speakers. The guy and girl merchants were heavily adorned in jewelry, piercings, and tattoos. The girl had a frilly emerald dress with a corset top, and the guy had vinyl pants with a sleeveless netted shirt. Neither merchant was welcoming nor seemed happy to be there.
Anna stopped and browsed through the girls clothing, and Desiree and Eli headed for the back of the store. Shirts of cartoons, cult movies, and mass murderers lined the men’s aisle. It was a strange cornucopia of pop culture. I walked over to some revolving glass cases filled with piercing jewelry, chains and spiked accessories, and necklaces with occult and fantasy pendants. These weren’t even for costumes; these were for everyday wear...I think.
I continued toward the back to find Desiree and Eli. Desiree was on the floor trying on a pair of knee-high, platform leather boots. She had pulled them over her jeans and was having a difficult time lacing them up. Seemingly helpless, she asked Eli to assist her. He grudgingly crouched down and finished the job. She smiled in victory.
“I love them!” she said, standing up and wobbling like a fawn. She was now strangely tall at eye level.
“I think you should get something you can put on yourself,” Eli laughed.
“I can do it. And look how tall I am. I’m like a giant!”
“Yup, now you’re too tall for me.” Eli was actually a couple inches shorter than me, and now Desiree stood over him with a newfound burst of confidence.
Anna came up behind me. “Those puppies are hot!” she said.
“I know, aren’t they?” Desiree said, turning and modeling the boots for us. Eli saw me checking her out, and I quickly turned my attention to Anna.
“What do you think of this?” Anna said, holding up a black corset to her body.
“That’s cute. What are you thinki
ng?” Desiree asked.
“There was a hooded cape up there that gave me a sweet vampiric vibe. I dunno, but I was thinking of something like that.”
“Oh, let me see!”
“First, let me try this on.” Anna brushed past us into the single dressing room and disappeared behind a velvet curtain.
Desiree sat back down and unlaced the boots. She lifted up her first leg and begged Eli for help, which he only did after she complained that her leg was getting tired.
Anna pulled the curtain to the dressing room back to model her black corset. We all gathered around to get a better look. Anna put her arms out and twirled, and then stopped to face us with her hands on her hips.
“Do you like?” she asked.
The response from all of us was overwhelmingly positive. I looked past her and saw her shirt and bra tossed haphazardly on the bench at the back of the dressing room. I guiltily looked back at Anna and she smiled at me.
“Okay, number one is a success,” she said and pulled the velvet curtain closed.
“I’m gonna look at the cape you mentioned,” Desiree said and ventured to the front of the store.
“So do you have any ideas what you’re gonna do?” Eli asked me before following after Desiree.
Taken aback by his initiation of a conversation with me, I tried to act natural. “Not yet. What about you?”
“Yeah, I’ve already got something picked out.”
“What is it?”
“I’m going to be a shipwrecked castaway,” he said smugly.
I immediately saw the brilliance in his choice. He could dress up as a sloppier version of his hippie self and call it a costume. Simple.
“I’m gonna grow a beard,” he continued while stroking his stubble. “I just started a few days ago.”
“Do you have any suggestions for me?”
“I dunno, man. Dress to impress. There should be a lot of girls at the party. Desiree mentioned something about Anna having a thing for you.”
I immediately saw what was going on and shushed him, looking over at the still closed velvet curtain. We were standing only a few paces from the dressing room and it would have been embarrassing if Anna overheard our conversation.
Provex City Page 9
