Lie down.
Unless the elephant is intent on trampling you, because you are hunting or the elephant thinks you are hunting, elephants typically avoid stepping on a prone human being, even while charging.
Protect your face.
Do not get up immediately. After the threat has passed, an elephant may show great interest in the apparently dead bodies of humans and may attempt to “bury” you under tree branches, leaves, and dirt. If you sense an elephant moving above you, lie still and cover your face with your hands. The rough skin on the elephant’s trunk may cause severe abrasions if it rubs against you.
What Causes Animal Stampedes
* * *
Sudden light source (lighting of match).
* * *
Sudden loud noise (rattling of pots and pans).
* * *
Someone jumps off horse.
* * *
Single animal becomes spooked, spooks the rest.
* * *
Single animal panics, panics the rest.
* * *
Sudden movement (horse shaking, cowboy stamping).
* * *
Whir of a rattlesnake. Cat flicks its tail.
* * *
Rabbit jumps.
* * *
One steer catches the whiff of a wolf.
* * *
Shaking of an empty saddle.
* * *
Lightning strike.
* * *
Predator.
If you cannot find cover, lie down. Elephants typically avoid stepping on a prone human being, even while charging
WARNING!
An angry elephant will tuck its ears back and curl its trunk up, away from danger.
If the elephants are angry at you, they will attempt to spear you with their tusks and then fling your body
If the last human the elephant met was a hunter/poacher, it will be more likely to treat you as a threat and attempt to attack.
HOW TO EVADE A STAMPEDE OF SHOPPERS
Stay focused and visualize your goal.
Do not freeze in front of the pack; do not wait for the crowd of shoppers to get close before you make your move. React early and decisively.
Do not attempt to hold your ground.
You risk being trampled if you try to resist the stampede. Turn your body in the direction of the crowd, and let yourself be carried along.
Hold your packages tightly.
Bring your arms in and firmly grasp objects you are carrying. If you drop something, do not stop to pick it up.
Work your way to the outside of the herd.
Move to the edge of the crowd as you move with it. Use the space near the walls to gain a few extra yards of room. Most shoppers will leave at least several feet between themselves and surrounding walls. This will give you room to maneuver and either slow down or escape.
BE AWARE!
Animals travel in herds because there is safety in numbers, and the safest place is at the center of the pack, insulated from predators. Avoid the temptation to join the middle of the herd—you cannot shop if you cannot see the merchandise.
When heading into a shopping situation where crowds may be present, wear proper shoes. Open-toed shoes offer minimal protection, and high heels will restrict your mobility. Select shoes with fat heels. Rubber soles provide the best traction.
Brace for an oncoming crowd by wrapping your arms tightly around your packages.
A Stampede of Girafes
Wade into the nearest body of water. Giraffes typically avoid water, except for drinking. If you cannot reach water, climb a tree or seek available shelter. The giraffe’s large hooves pose your most immediate danger.
Surviving Stampedes
To stop a stampede of longhorn cattle, turn the cattle to the right and get them running in a tight circle. (Longhorns don’t like to turn to the left when they are stampeding.)
Buffalo stampedes are more difficult to stop because buffalo run straight ahead blindly. Buffalo are larger than longhorns, and the stampedes are more dangerous. Buffalo stampedes have knocked trains off the tracks.
Human stampedes most often occur during religious pilgrimages, professional sporting and music events, and the release of highly-desired consumer products.
CATS
* * *
* * *
HOW TO GET YOUR CAT TO CUDDLE
1 Play soothing classical music.
2 Do aerobic exercise.
Perform jumping jacks, sit-ups, or push-ups until you are lightly perspiring. Elevated skin temperature and a sheen of perspiration are attractive to warm-blooded mammals such as cats.
3 Remove your shirt.
4 Sit down in a large, reclining chair.
Recline the chair by 45 degrees. Move your butt forward so that your lap space is maximized.
5 Call your cat’s name in an encouraging voice.
Cats will also respond to any other words.
6 Purr.
Bring your tongue up to the roof of your mouth and gently exhale, blowing air over your tongue and through your front teeth. Alternate between purring and calling your cat’s name.
7 Lightly pat your lap.
Establish a slow but insistent rhythm, imitating the pitter-patter of cat feet.
Do aerobic exercise. Perspiration is attractive to cats.
8 Reinforce the cuddling behavior.
When your cat settles in your lap, stroke her gently from the base of the neck, slowly down to the tip of the tail, and then back to the base of the neck. Say “good cat.” Give her a treat.
HOW TO GET A CAT OUT FROM UNDER THE BED
Run the can opener.
Go to the kitchen and run an electric can opener.
Sweep the cat out from under the bed.
Use a broom or mop to nudge or sweep the cat from his hiding place.
Loudly show affection for another pet.
Loudly show affection for another pet.
Sit in an area visible from your cat’s position underneath the bed. Hold another cat, dog, or child in your lap and stroke the child or pet gently. Praise the other animal or child in the way you would praise your cat.
Sit, roll, or bounce around on the bed.
Move abruptly and make loud noises on top of the bed to try to scare the cat out from under it.
Stick your head under the bed.
Make loud hissing noises to scare the cat into running out from under the bed.
Make a line of treats.
Create a trail of cat treats starting at the edge of the bed and continuing several feet past it leading out of the room. When the cat follows the treats from under the bed and out the door, shut the door behind him.
HOW TO TOILET TRAIN YOUR CAT
1 Move the litter box next to the toilet.
2 Incrementally raise the litter box to the level of the toilet.
Place telephone books or encyclopedias under the litter box, one at a time, until the box is at the same height level as the toilet. Wait each time until your cat is adjusted and comfortable with the new level before raising the level again.
3 Leave the litter box in this raised, toilet-adjacent position.
The box should be positioned so that the cat must step across the toilet to access her litter box. Leave it there until your cat is accustomed to the feel of walking on the toilet seat.
4 Move the litter box on top of the toilet seat.
Leave it in this position for several days, so your cat becomes used to doing her business on top of the toilet. When you use the toilet, remove the litter box and then replace it when you’re done.
5 Remove the litter box from the top of the toilet seat.
6 Place a mixing bowl in the toilet.
Select a bowl that fits snugly in the toilet bowl. Fill it with two to three inches of cat litter. Humans using the toilet should first remove the metal mixing bowl.
Help your cat position herself correctly over the bowl: two paws on the front and two paws in the
rear.
Tings Tat Are Toxic to Cats
ITEM DANGER TO CAT
milk various stomach problems
poinsettias, lilies, many other houseplants stomachaches, various forms of poisoning
dog food vomiting, diarrhea
onions anemia
garlic anemia
chocolate potential kidney failure
cherry tomatoes various stomach problems
raw salmon salmon poisoning, death
soy thyroid malfunction
yeast allergies, bloating, urinary tract problems
aspirin gastrointestinal problems, respiratory problems, kidney failure
acetaminophen severe blood ailments, death
antifreeze severe kidney damage, death
7 Position the cat’s feet.
Watch your cat constantly over a period of several days. Every time she goes to the toilet to urinate or defecate, help her set her feet correctly on the lid of the toilet: two paws on the front and two paws in the rear, so that she is squatting over the mixing bowl.
8 Replace the cat litter in the mixing bowl with water.
Continue helping your cat position herself correctly over the bowl, and encourage her, so that she becomes used to the sound of doing her business into water. Each time your cat relieves herself successfully in the mixing bowl, empty it into the toilet and flush it while she watches.
9 Remove the mixing bowl from the toilet.
Once your cat has become used to relieving herself into water while sitting on the toilet, take the mixing bowl away.
WARNING!
Once your cat is toilet trained, the door to the bathroom and the toilet lid need to be left open, so that the cat enjoys free access to the toilet.
INSECTS
* * *
* * *
HOW TO DEAL WITH A TARANTULA
1 Find something you can use to brush the tarantula off of you or away from you.
A small stick, rolled newspaper or magazine, or glove works well. Most tarantulas are very skittish, and as soon as you poke them, they will leave in great haste. It is safer to remove the tarantula using an implement than using your bare hand.
2 If the tarantula is on you and cannot be brushed off, stand up carefully and bounce up and down gently.
The tarantula should fall off or skitter away.
How to Treat a Bite
1 Do not panic if you are bitten.
The vast majority of tarantulas give “dry” bites (which look like two pinpricks) first, and then a second bite to inject venom. Avoid Pterinochilus and Heteroscodra, two species of “baboon spiders” in Africa, and Poecilotheria, “ornamental tarantulas” in southern Asia, which deliver potent bites.
2 Treat a dry bite like any other small puncture wound: use an antiseptic to clean it out, and bandage the site quickly.
3 Observe the area around the bite carefully.
A few varieties of tarantula may inject venom that can cause swelling and redness in the area around the bite, as well as pain and tenderness lasting 2 to 6 hours. If these symptoms persist for longer than 12 hours, or if other, more serious symptoms develop, seek medical attention. Unless absolutely necessary, do not drive a vehicle.
4 Treat excessive swelling with antihistamines.
The allergic reaction can be eased with antihistamines, although they are usually slow acting. If symptoms such as extreme flushing in the face, blurred vision, dizziness, profuse swelling around the face or eyes, or restricted breathing occur, epinephrine may be necessary.
5 Watch closely for complications.
While the bite itself is probably not life threatening, it can become infected, and this is the greatest danger if you are bitten. Seek immediate medical attention if you see signs of tetanus (muscle stiffness, spasm, fever, convulsions, difficulty swallowing, irregular heartbeat, trouble breathing), tularemia (fever, nausea, swollen lymph nodes, sore throat, vomiting, diarrhea), or septicemia (spiking fever and chills, rapid breathing, shock, disorientation, inability to urinate, swollen limbs, blue lips and fingernails).
Use a rolled-up magazine or newspaper or another item to brush the tarantula off. Do not pick the tarantula up.
BE AWARE!
Tarantulas are basically just big spiders. Few will bite you unless you try to pick them up.
Tarantulas are not carriers of any known disease that affects humans or other vertebrates. Tetanus, tularemia, and other diseases that may follow a tarantula bite are most likely the result of postbite contamination due to unclean environmental conditions. (See step 5.)
While tarantulas bites are not fatal, they can cause dangerous allergic reactions in some individuals and can be extremely painful.
Tarantulas are found in North America, west of the Mississippi River; in South America; and in warm climates throughout the world. Their habitats vary, and include deep deserts, grassy plains, scrub forests, and rainforests. Most live in burrows, though a few species prefer trees and areas around the base or under the roof of human dwellings.
Tarantulas are mostly nocturnal and are difficult to notice unless you are searching for them. Most people encounter adult males, which wander during daylight hours looking for female mates.
Never try to pick up a tarantula. Tarantulas have tough bristles on the tops of their abdomens, which can irritate the skin. These come loose easily and float freely through the air. They are shaped like small harpoons with barbed tips and may penetrate the skin and cause a rash or hives.
HOW TO TREAT A SCORPION STING
1 Remain calm.
Scorpion venom induces anxiety in victims, so try especially hard to avoid panic. Most species of scorpion have venom of low to moderate toxicity and do not pose a serious health threat to adult humans, other than severe pain.
2 Apply heat or cold packs to the sting site for pain relief.
The most severe pain usually occurs at the site of the sting. Also use an analgesic (painkiller) if available.
3 If an allergic reaction occurs, take an antihistamine.
Scorpion venom contains histamines, which may cause allergic reactions (asthma, rashes) in sensitive persons.
4 Watch for an irregular heartbeat, tingling in extremities, an inability to move limbs or fingers, or trouble breathing.
Most scorpion stings cause only instantaneous pain at the site of the sting; stings feel similar to those of a wasp. The pain of a scorpion sting may radiate over the body several minutes after the initial sting. Pain tends to be felt in joints, especially in the armpits and groin. Systemic symptoms may also occur—possibly numbness in the face, mouth, or throat; muscle twitches; sweating; nausea; vomiting; fever; and restlessness. These symptoms are normal and not life threatening, and usually subside in one to three hours. The site of the sting may remain sore and/or sensitive to touch, heat, or cold for one to three days.
Scorpion venom induces anxiety in victims.
Creepy-Crawly Tings and How Many Eggs They Lay
CREATURE: fies
HOW MANY EGGS: 500 at a time (several batches of up to 150)
HOW SMALL: about 1/20 inch
CREATURE: fleas
HOW MANY EGGS: 50 a day
HOW SMALL: 1/50 inch
CREATURE: termites
HOW MANY EGGS: 2,000 in a day
HOW SMALL: 1/50 inch or smaller
CREATURE: louse
HOW MANY EGGS: 4 in a day, 88 in a lifetime
HOW SMALL: 1/32 of an inch
CREATURE: ant
HOW MANY EGGS: 75-100 a day
HOW SMALL: larva is 3/16 inch
CREATURE: bedbug
HOW MANY EGGS: up to 5 a day
HOW SMALL: 1/32 inch
CREATURE: spiders
HOW MANY EGGS: 100 eggs contained in a single sac
HOW SMALL: 1/32 inch
CREATURE: cockroaches
HOW MANY EGGS: 30 to 50 at a time, in a protruding egg case
HOW SMALL: egg case is 3/8 inch
5 Seek
emergency medical care if you exhibit the above symptoms.
Small children who are stung should seek emergency medical care immediately. Adults, however, have much more time—the odds of dying or even becoming seriously ill as a result of a scorpion sting are extremely slim. You will have at least 12 hours to get to a hospital—probably more.
6 Do not apply tourniquets, as the toxins are small and move rapidly away from the site of the sting.
A tourniquet will not help the wound, and could cause more harm if applied incorrectly.
7 Do not attempt to cut the wound and suck out the poison.
This can cause infection or transfer the venom into the bloodstream of the person attempting to remove the poison.
WARNING!
Scorpions are active at night, when they hunt and search for mates. During the day, scorpions hide in burrows or in any available crack or crevice, depending upon the species. Scorpions are notorious for seeking shelter in objects such as shoes, clothing, bedding, and bath towels. Your presence may surprise the scorpion, and it could sting if disturbed. If you are in an area that has scorpions, shake out these items before using them, and check bedding before sleeping.
Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Page 6
