The most common complication during labor is a breech delivery, when the baby is positioned so the feet, and not the head, will come out of the uterus first. Since the head is the largest part of the baby, the danger is that if the feet come out first, the cervix may not be dilated enough to get the head out afterward. Today, most breech babies are delivered through cesarean section, a surgical procedure that you will not be able to perform. If you have absolutely no alternatives (no hospital or doctors or midwives are available) when the baby begins to emerge, you can try to deliver the baby feet first. A breech birth does not necessarily mean that the head won’t be able to get through the cervix; there is simply a higher possibility that this will occur. Deliver the baby as you would in the manner prescribed above.
As the baby moves through the birth canal, guide it out by supporting the head.
Support the body as it moves out. Do not slap its behind to make it cry; the baby will breathe on its own.
After you have dried off the baby, tie the umbilical cord with a shoelace or a piece of string several inches from the body. Leave the cord alone until the baby gets to the hospital.
Show equal affection to your cat and the new baby.
HOW TO DEAL WITH A CAT WHO IS JEALOUS OF A NEW BABY
1 Rub baby lotion and baby powder on your skin.
Prior to the baby’s arrival in the home, acclimate your cat to baby smells by wearing baby-scented products around the house.
2 Fill your house with the sound of a baby.
Purchase a recording of “baby sounds,” such as crying, laughing, and gurgling, or begin making such sounds yourself. Play or make the sounds constantly while your cat is at home.
3 Reward a positive response to the smells and noises.
When your cat reacts calmly to the crying baby sounds and smells, pet her and give her treats, or praise her.
4 Elevate your cat.
Before the new baby arrives, move the cat’s sleeping place and litter box to a raised location. Cats feel most comfortable when they are high up and can monitor an unfamiliar situation.
5 Keep the baby away from the cat’s playing areas, litter box, and feeding area.
As the child ages, instruct him on how to properly treat a cat.
6 Show as much affection to your cat as you do to the new baby.
WARNING!
Similar tactics apply to prepare a cat for the arrival of a new spouse or significant other; accustom your cat to the smells and sounds of the new person before he or she arrives, and allow the cat to first observe the new person from an elevated level.
Cats frequently react to the arrival of baby toys and play equipment by spraying these items with urine or feces. Keep these items away from your cat until she has become comfortable with the baby.
Pregnant women should not clean litter boxes, as litter boxes present some risk of toxoplasmosis, which can be fatal to unborn children.
HOW TO GET YOUR BABY TO SLEEP
Swaddle the baby.
Fold down one corner of a receiving blanket, and place the baby on top of the blanket with his head above the fold. Pull one side of the blanket securely across the baby’s chest, and tuck it underneath his body. Then pull up the bottom, folding the edge back, and finish by pulling the remaining side of the blanket across the baby’s chest and underneath the body. The baby should fit snugly inside the blanket.
Sway.
Hold the swaddled baby close to your chest. Shift your weight from one foot to the other. This rhythmic stimulation will induce a sleepy state in the baby. Position the child so that his ear is over your heart. The beating will soothe him.
Generate soothing white noise near the baby.
Sound produced by a clothes dryer, dishwasher, blender, coffee grinder, hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, lawn mower, leaf blower, or air conditioner has a lulling potency that many babies cannot resist. Metronomes and ticking clocks can also soothe a baby to sleep by reminding a child of his mother’s heartbeat.
Put the baby on a washing machine or dryer.
Turn on the machine and set to normal cycle. The vibrations and noise are sleep-inducing. Do not leave the baby unattended.
Go for a drive.
The steady vibration of the car will have most infants asleep quickly. Open the window a crack, and the air will keep you awake while the sound of the wind functions as soothing white noise for the baby. Do not get behind the wheel if you are exhausted and cannot operate heavy machinery.
HOW TO SURVIVE BABY GEAR OVERLOAD
1 Wear cargo pants.
Fill the pockets with soft items: burp cloth, bibs, change of clothes (for you and for baby).
2 Dress the baby in cargo pants.
Fill the pockets with small necessities: baby’s cap, small board book for entertainment, teething ring.
3 Wear a photographer’s or fisherman’s vest.
Fill the pockets with necessities: crib toy, baby manual, hand sanitizer, bowl and spoon, changing pad, shampoo, bath soap, fever-reducing medicine, teething gel, anti-itch cream, saline drops, nasal bulb syringe, thermometer, tissues, antibiotic ointment, plastic bag for soiled diapers, plastic bag for wet/dirty clothes.
4 Wear a fanny pack.
Fill with adult necessities: keys, wallet, headache medicine, sunglasses, makeup, cell phone, shopping list, pen.
5 Circle your waist with a web belt.
Attach a canteen (for you) and a bottle or sippy cup (for baby).
6 Clip a pacifier to the baby.
7 Sling a messenger bag across your back.
Fill with remaining necessities: umbrella, toys, diapers, diaper wipes, cotton balls, sunscreen, diaper cream, juice, crackers, baby blanket.
8 Wear a baby carrier or sling.
Place the baby in the carrier and go. Remember where you are going, and why, and be sure to take your house keys with you.
Remember where you are going, and why. Be sure to take your house keys.
Means of Soothing Colicky Babies
Offer the breast or bottle to the baby.
Give a pacifier to the baby.
Rock the baby.
Swaddle the baby.
Put the baby in a vibrating chair.
Put the baby in a swing.
Carry the baby around in a sling.
Carry the baby around in her car seat.
Go to a different room.
Sit down with baby in your lap.
Stand up with baby in your arms.
Go outside.
Go inside.
Put on soft music.
Put on loud music.
Turn off music.
Give the baby a warm bath.
Take off all the baby’;s clothes.
Lie baby down under a ceiling fan.
Put baby in crib, collapse into sleep at the foot of the crib, wake up an hour later and begin again.
CHILDREN
* * *
* * *
HOW TO PREVENT BACKPACK OVERLOAD
Clean out the backpack.
Remove extra pairs of running shoes, soda bottles, dead batteries, and obsolete chargers.
Pack only the necessary books.
All books do not need to go to and from school every day.
Buy a second set of books.
Keep a set of textbooks, usually the heaviest books, at home, so the books don’t need to be transported. Alternatively, photocopy the entire book at the beginning of the year and instruct your child to take home only those pages necessary for each day’s assignment.
Hire a neighborhood sherpa.
Pay a sibling, larger neighborhood child, or teamster to carry the load.
Affix saddlebags to your dog.
Bike stores usually sell a variety of different-sized bags that can be slung across a dog’s back. Use only large dogs and watch for overload.
Ship the books overnight directly to school.
As long as your child completes his homework by 8 p.m., you should be able to ship the book
s for next-day delivery at a courier’s local drop box. Specify that the books should arrive for “early delivery” to ensure that they make it to school before your child’s first class of the day.
WARNING!
A backpack should never rest more than four inches below the waistline or be wider than the shoulders.
Symptoms of backpack overload include pain or numbness in the arms, shoulders, and mid- to lower back; jaw pain; neck pain; and headache. If the child reports any of these symptoms, consult a health care professional.
Explain to your child that both he and his imaginary friend are responsible for their bad behavior.
HOW TO DISCIPLINE IMAGINARY FRIENDS
1 Outline responsibility.
Explain to your child and the imaginary friend that when they play together, they both need to be on good behavior and are both responsible for any broken vases, stolen cookies, or messes.
2 Assign consequences to the child and imaginary friend together.
Tell your child that he and his imaginary friend must wash dishes or take out the trash “together.”
3 Ask your child to suggest ways to make his friend behave.
Explain that you need his help in making his friend understand and behave.
Pack only necessary books.
4 Create activities to keep the imaginary friend out of trouble.
If the imaginary friend is a continuing source of mischief, enroll him in (imaginary) music lessons, (imaginary) summer camp, or (imaginary) boarding school to keep him occupied.
BE AWARE!
Do not make up an imaginary friend for your child as a way to encourage his imagination.
Respond respectfully to your child’s imagination and imaginary friend.
If you are visiting someone, such as a boss, who may be uncomfortable with your child’s notion, tell your child that his friend will have to wait in the car or that you hired a “babysitter” for the child’s friend to watch him at home.
HOW TO GET CHILDREN TO EAT VEGETABLES
Eat vegetables yourself.
Be enthusiastic about vegetables. “Broccoli is awesome!” “Peas rule!” “Rutabagas rock!”
Talk in euphemisms.
Encourage your child by calling the vegetable a “growing food” or “brain food” or “run-fast food” or “beauty food.”
Require one bite.
Even if she does not like it, with the “one-bite rule” the child should eventually grow accustomed to the taste, though it may take years.
Let the child select the vegetable.
Take your child to the grocery store to pick out one vegetable. Invite her into the kitchen to help you prepare it for dinner. She will become emotionally invested in the vegetable and proud of it. She may not only eat the vegetable but also urge others to do so.
Sneak vegetables into other dishes.
Camouflage vegetables in stews, lasagna, potpies, pizza toppings, casseroles, or soups.
Change presentation.
Arrange vegetables in a happy face. Use unnaturally colored ketchup (pink, green, blue) to jazz up a pile of vegetables. Make trees with broccoli and asparagus, boats from endive, and a lake out of guacamole.
Prepare the vegetable in different ways.
If she rejected the steamed broccoli, next time serve it raw with a dip. If the asparagus in cream sauce was not popular, try it with butter and lemon. Use a blender or a juicer to transform the vegetable into a purée or a smoothie.
Arrange vegetables in unusual ways.
Make vegetables the only option.
Designate “vegetarian night” and serve nothing but vegetables. Your child will eat them if she is hungry and there is no other food available. When the meal is over, declare the kitchen closed, and do not allow snacks or dessert.
Do not make food into a battle of wills.
Be matter-of-fact about whether your child does or does not eat her vegetables. Do not force a vegetable on your child or bribe her to eat. Do not say, “If you eat your brussels sprouts, you can have dessert.” This will interfere with her developing a genuine affection for the vegetable and will reinforce sweets as the truly desirable food.
HOW TO GET RID OF BEDROOM MONSTERS
1 Turn on the lights.
Show your child that there are no monsters in the room.
2 Explain that you are making sure there will be no monsters in the future.
3 Spray infested areas with water.
Monsters are afraid of water. Fill a spray bottle with water and lightly mist problem areas, including under the bed, around the door, and in the closet.
4 Place sentries outside of closets and by windows.
Monsters will avoid friendly-looking stuffed animals, dolls, clowns, and puppets. Assemble a battalion of these around all likely points of entry.
5 Use the color green.
Many monsters are afraid of the color green. Use a green night-light, or encourage your child to wear pajamas with some green on them. A bandage, a washable tattoo, nail polish, or a sticker with the color green is also effective.
WARNING!
If you encounter monsters, kill them with kindness. Hugs are particularly lethal, as are compliments.
IN THE KITCHEN
* * *
* * *
Slide lid over flames to cover pan completely. Wear a barbecue or oven mitt for protection.
HOW TO PUT OUT A GREASE FIRE
1 Do not douse with water.
Oil and water do not mix: water will cause the burning oil to spatter and spread the fire. Do not move the burning pan to the sink.
2 Turn off the stove.
3 Put on an oven mitt.
Large mitts are the safest option. If barbecue mitts—those that cover the forearm—are available, use for added protection.
4 Find a lid that fits the pan.
A lid that is slightly larger than the pan will also work.
5 Hold the lid at an angle toward the fire.
Do not try to lower the lid directly onto the pan or you risk burning your arms. Keep your face and chest as far from the flames as possible.
6 Slide the lid on the pan and hold it in place until the pan cools.
The pressure from the heat and flame can force a lid off the pan. Hold it securely in place.
7 Do not lift the lid.
Lifting the lid will add oxygen and feed the fire. Take the lid off only when the pan has bcome noticeably cooler.
8 If no lid is available, use baking soda.
Dump a large amount of baking soda on the grease fire to extinguish it quickly. Avoid using baking powder, which can cause the fire to flare.
WARNING!
Do not use a dry chemical extinguisher to try to put out a grease fire. It is not effective, and the force of the compressed chemical agent can spatter burning material and spread fames.
Never leave cooking oil on the stove unattended: fames may develop quickly
HOW TO TREAT A GREASE BURN
1 Cool the burned area.
Immediately run cold water over the burned area for several minutes or until the injury site is cool.
2 Dry the burned area gently.
Blot the injury site using a clean, dry towel or sheet.
3 Check for blistering.
If the blisters are small, pop them with a sterilized pin and remove dead skin using scissors. (Wiping the tip of a pin in alcohol or heating it in the flame from a match will adequately sterilize the pin.) If there are no blisters and the burn is less than one inch across, apply burn cream and a sterile dressing.
4 Cover severe burns.
If the burn is larger than one inch across or is very blistered, cover it with a clean, dry sheet or towel, and seek medical attention promptly.
WARNING!
Infection is the main risk. Signs of infection include fever or local warmth, increased redness around the burned area, increased soreness, red streaks, swelling, or drainage of pus.
Do not apply oily or g
reasy substances such as petroleum jelly or butter to the wound. These popular but misguided burn remedies are detrimental to the healing process.
Emergency Substitutions/Out of Ingredients
OUT OF INGREDIENT: Baking powder
INGREDIENT AMOUNT: 1 teaspoon
SUBSTITUTION: 1/4 teaspoon baking soda plus 5/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
OUT OF INGREDIENT: Butter, melted
INGREDIENT AMOUNT: Any amount
SUBSTITUTION: Equal portion of oil
OUT OF INGREDIENT: Butter, solid
INGREDIENT AMOUNT: 1 cup
SUBSTITUTION: 1 cup margarine or 1 cup vegetable shortening for baking
OUT OF INGREDIENT: Buttermilk
INGREDIENT AMOUNT: 1 cup
SUBSTITUTION: 1 tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar plus enough whole milk to make 1 cup (allow to stand 5 minutes)
OUT OF INGREDIENT: Cocoa powder
Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Page 12
