He could no more stop loving Lacey than he could stop breathing. He knew it was wrong, but just because it wasn’t moral didn’t mean his heart stopped loving her. He’d tried to remain honorable, tried to do the right thing and stay away, leave her untouched.
Damn it, he’d argued with his conscience. What he planned, what he wanted, was immoral. God help him, he loved her, and in matters of the heart, sometimes honor crumbled to dust. When it came right down to it, he was human. Humans made mistakes. He made mistakes.
But he’d never convinced himself loving Lacey was a mistake. Even though he knew he was too close to the fire, and he fully expected to get burned, he couldn’t wait to taste her passion, couldn’t stop pursuing her even if he wanted to.
And he didn’t want to.
They might only ever have this one night, but he intended for it to be a night neither of them ever forgot. Not touching Lacey would be like trying to rope a lightning bolt. If he didn’t win her, there was only one finale, and it all ended in heartache.
He couldn’t breathe when he was near her. His lungs froze. His heart stuttered to a standstill. Hell, he could barely string two words together to make a sentence. He adjusted the front of his jeans for at least the hundredth time, but nothing was going to ease the pressure until he sank between Lacey’s thighs and rode her to fulfillment.
His thoughts circled back to Danger.
Yes, Danger loved her. No matter what the man said or did, in Rafe’s heart he accepted that Danger was crazy in love with Lacey, too.
Someone had to lose.
Rafe couldn’t help that fact, and he had a strong dislike of losing.
By the time the house came into sight, giant snowflakes bombarded them and the ground.
They rode inside the barn side by side, laughing.
“You let me beat you,” Lacey proclaimed.
Rafe slid off his mount and helped her off the mare. “Guilty, but it was still a fun race.”
She giggled as her feet touched the barn floor. “Yes, it was.”
Immediately her boots slipped on a patch of ice. She stumbled straight into his arms.
“Watch it!”
Rafe locked his arms around her waist and toppled back in the pile of fresh hay he’d scattered for the horses before they left for their ride. She sprawled helplessly on top of him, her laughter soft against his skin.
He twined his long legs with hers. Face to face, eye to eye, mouths scant inches apart, breasts to chest, and thigh to thigh, he locked his gaze with hers, and knew there wasn’t one damn thing he could do to prevent her from feeling the full blown hard-on behind his zipper. He didn’t want to. It was the second time in less than twenty-four hours his straining cock betrayed him and pressed snugly against her body. Some things just couldn’t be concealed.
He heard her sharp intake of air, felt the full softness of her breasts as she inhaled and exhaled against his mouth. Rafe locked his arms around her a little tighter. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” She laughed nervously. “That was graceful. I bombed like a stork with a broken leg.”
His hands rested above the sweet curve of her butt in the small of her back. Rafe clenched his fists to keep from dragging her tighter against him. “You bombed just fine, sweetheart.” He brushed the damp curls back from her face. “Lacey.”
It was all he said, her name a sigh on the wind, but a wealth of emotion was crammed into the one whispered word.
Her gaze shot to his mouth. She trembled. “Rafe, I…uh—”
He held her against his erection. There was no mistaking the hard branding iron inside his jeans. For an infinitesimal second, she responded and rubbed against his ridged cock like a sinuous cat. She closed her eyes, groaned, and slid up and down the hard length.
“Wait, sweetheart,” he whispered. Rafe fumbled with the button on his jeans, eased the zipper down and worked his cock out of his underwear.
“Ride me, sweetheart,” he said and lifted his hips. He worked her up and down the steel length.
She shuddered, but she slid up and down his body, long and slow, grinding against his aching rod. Her hesitant movements killed him. God, all he wanted to do was strip off her jeans and bury his throbbing shaft deep inside her. “Faster, baby,” he worked her steadily up and down, up and down.
Her eyes popped open, widened with shock at her actions. She gasped and scrambled off him. Her breasts rose and fell with agitated breaths. “Oh, shit.” She groaned the words.
He yanked up his jeans, moaning. Behind the zipper, his cock throbbed in agony. His balls felt near to bursting. If he hurt, it was his fault for rushing things between them.
She stood there staring down at him, at his crotch, as if he’d suddenly grown another appendage. Her mouth worked. Her eyes welled with tears. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
Lacey whirled and hurried toward the front of the barn.
Rafe jumped up and took off after her. He caught her near the entrance.
“Lacey,” he yelled. Grabbing her arm, he turned her to face him. “Lace! Wait!” He squeezed her upper arms gently. “Lace, you did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be sorry about. Please, don’t be afraid of me. I swear to God I’d never hurt you.”
She shook her head, her eyes round and stricken. “Let go of me, Rafe. Please.”
Shit! She was terrified of him. He should have better control of his body. He shouldn’t have unwrapped his dick like it was her Christmas present and thrust it against her like he did. Damn it to hell! He should never have let her realize how much he wanted her. They were here alone. Isolated. She had to be frightened to death of him.
“Lace, I’d cut off my right arm before I’d ever hurt you. I’m a man, sweetheart. Getting hard, well, fuck! It happens to me every time I’m near you. It isn’t your fault or anyone’s fault. It’s Mother Nature rearing her head and shaking her fist at me. The fact is I’m so far gone in love with you, I’ll never breathe normal again.”
Lacey placed a trembling hand over his mouth. “Sssh. You shouldn’t say such things to me.”
Rafe touched his tongue to her palm. She closed her eyes and deeply inhaled. He didn’t move. She didn’t move. Lacey opened her eyes and he saw the raw need there in the gold shadows of her eyes. Slowly, she lowered her hand to her side and exhaled the pent-up breath she’d been holding.
“I love you, Lace. I tried to stay away from you. I swear to God, I did. Every time I left I swore I wouldn’t come back. I never meant for you to know how I feel about you, but I came back because I couldn’t stay away. I can’t hide how much I love you anymore.”
“Don’t. I’m begging you.” Her voice trembled. “Don’t ever say you love me again. I’m not free, Rafe. I can’t love you back. ”
“I don’t care! If you’ll just allow me to touch you sometimes, let me kiss you, hold you, pretend you’re mine. Lace, you don’t have to be afraid of me.”
Lacey licked her lips. “Rafe.” She choked out his name on a strangled note and laid a trembling hand along his cheek. “You don’t understand. It isn’t you I’m frightened of.”
His brows furrowed. His breath slipped away on a ragged sound. “Then who?”
“Me.”
Rafe shuddered. He didn’t need any more words from her. He needed her. His chest heaved with a ragged breath. Gently, he pulled her away from the opening and deeper into the shadows of the barn. Their gazes locked. Without saying anything, he backed her against the rough hewn slats of the barn wall and cupped the sides of her face with his big hands.
“Jesus, Lace, why did you make me wait so long?” Slowly, he dipped his head and covered her lips with his. She didn’t resist, but laid her palms on his chest and sighed gently into his mouth.
So soft, God, she felt so damn soft in his arms. Sweet. All woman. His woman. He couldn’t get her close enough. He wanted to feel them skin to skin, his body covering hers, his shaft buried deep inside the velvet channel of her womanhood.
He wanted to hear her cries of pleasure, hear her calling his name
His heart pounded. Rafe shuddered when she touched the tip of her tongue to his lips. The burning ache spread through his body until he thought he’d die. He crushed her against his body , and deepened the kiss.
Rafe eased his tongue between her lips and tasted what he’d longed for so many years to taste. The pure sweetness of her flavor on his tongue felt like manna from heaven to him. He tore off his leather gloves, unbuttoned the top button at her waist and slipped his hands inside the back of her jeans, inside her panties, cupped her cool bare ass, and lifted her against his straining erection.
She sobbed and wiggled urgently against the hard length of his cock until he thought it’d all be over before it hardly began .
Lacey groaned and bucked against him. Clenching his teeth, he let her ride the iron length behind his zipper, encouraged her by lifting her hips and giving her freer access to the hard ridge. Tiny, kittenish whimpers tore from her throat and sent heat washing over him like a flash fire. She dug her fingers into the denim of his coat, then clung to him and shuddered.
Her breath sounded raspy in his ears. He held her tight, let her body slowly cool and relax against his.
“Aw, God…I—” Lacey opened her eyes. Her breaths escaped in short bursts that matched his. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her face. “Oh, Rafe. Oh, my God! What have I done? What are we doing?”
“I don’t know, but it feels damn good.”
He saw the utter shock and embarrassment on her face because she’d climaxed so quickly with very little stimulation from him. He trapped her mouth with his, swirled his tongue between her lips and battled for the right to love her, to win her love. He slid his hand under her shirt. No bra. The woman drove him insane. She never wore a bra.
He squeezed her firm breasts and impatiently tore her denim coat off her, ripped her shirt down the middle and tossed it aside. With an urgency that quaked through his entire body, Rafe claimed the candy-pink nipples with his mouth and tongue. He licked the tight buds, circled them with his tongue before slowly wrapping his tongue around the left one and sucking on it.
She arched her body, giving him free access to her breasts, moaning as he drew deeper and deeper on the tight nipple.
Sliding one hand to the front of her panties, he traced his fingers through the nest of soft curls hidden there. She whimpered as he held her against the barn wall and started to work her jeans down her slender hips. She locked her fingers around his thick wrists. “No, Rafe. No. We can’t do this!”
Leaning back, he swore softly. “I’ve wanted to make love to you for so long,” he whispered. “Let me in you, baby. Let me take you all the way, let me love you.”
“I can’t.” She pushed him away and crossed her arms over her bare breasts. Her nipples stood at attention, tight, tiny buds of tempting pink-ice. She looked around a little wildly. Her hair was mussed, her lips swollen from his kisses. Her cheeks flushed. Tears spilled freely. “I can’t,” she whispered brokenly.
Rafe nodded, unable to speak. He swallowed back his need. She wasn’t ready to accept him or accept him in inside her body. He’d rushed her. “Here” He slid her arms inside her denim jacket and pulled the edges together. He glanced at her shirt. It was hopeless. He left it on the barn floor and pulled her close. “When you make up your mind you can, let me know. I’m not up for games, honey. I’m not playing games. I’m dead serious about you. We’re both adults, consenting adults. I want to fuck you, yes, but not just once. I love you. I don’t want to use you just to get off, so don’t think once I’ve had you, it’s done, finished.”
She shook her head. “I used you, Rafe. I needed to feel a man’s mouth on mine, a man’s hands on my body. I needed what you gave me. I took from you and gave nothing back. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t use me. You didn’t take anything I wasn’t willing to give. I meant for you to take what you need. Hell, I couldn’t wait to pleasure you, honey.”
She looked away, shame etched on her face. When she looked at him again, he saw it immediately in her eyes. Rejection. Denial. She wasn’t ready to face what was happening between them or accept what just happened.
“Lace, I—”
“I’m sorry,” she said with a quietness he’d never heard in her voice before. She held up a hand as if she believed it’d prevent him from speaking or would hold back their feelings. He believed she cared for him. She would never have responded to his kisses, his touch if there wasn’t something there between them. “This is my fault,” she continued. “I shouldn’t have let you kiss me. Touch me. Oh, God.” Her lips quivered. “Let you kiss me.” She laughed and he heard the hysteria building in her words. “I did a little more than that. Didn’t I? I practically attacked you like a wild bitch in heat. I didn’t mean to lead you on or cause you to–to—” She broke off and glanced in the direction of his zipper. “Cause that to happen. You got nothing out of this, and I’m leaving you aching, I know. I’m not a tease. Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine. I might hurt, but I’ll be fine, and sweetheart, I know you aren’t a tease. You aren’t to blame for any of this. This didn’t happen because I kissed you or you fell on top of me.” Rafe dropped his hands to his sides. “It’s not going to stop or go away, either. This hunger’s here between us, Lace, these feelings, these needs. I want you. I think you want me, too.”
Lacey shook her head in denial. “No. This is insane. You’re wrong. This is wrong.” She tried to pull free of his arms. He tightened his hold about her waist. “Rafe, I need to go. Someone could drive up . I need time to think.”
“Not yet, Lace. I’m dying to taste you again.”
Panic flared in her eyes. “Rafe,” she whispered his name. “No. Please. Let me go. Forget this ever happened. It can’t go any further…it can never happen again.”
Reluctantly, he dropped his arms to his sides, but he knew beyond doubt she was now screamingly conscious of him as a man. The sexual tension, the desire between them wasn’t something she’d be able to continue ignoring or deny much longer. He’d taken the edge off her need, but she was far from satisfied. He knew it. She’d had a taste of him. It wasn’t going to be enough for her. He’d had a taste of her. He wanted more.
Lacey stared at him with both wide-eyed innocence and utter devastation. The look in her gold eyes told him she was stunned by what had taken place between them, shocked she’d let him touch her so intimately. Kiss her. Wild color stained her cheeks. Her hand trembled as she swiped back a swath of hair from her face. “I’m sorry,” she said again in a shaky voice.
“Don’t be. I’m sure not.”
“Rafe. I love Danger. Please. I don’t want to have to choose between you.”
“Honey, you just did.”
“No!” She shook her head in a burst of denial. “I can’t do this!”
Rafe watched her beat a hasty retreat. He dragged fingers through his hair. “Fuck!” Punching the barn wall, he moaned and shook his hand.
Choose between them?
He took some deep breaths, ordered himself to calm down. Lacey didn’t accept it yet, but she would never have let him kiss or touch her just now if she hadn’t already subconsciously made a choice.
She hadn’t hurried to escape him, not at first, and she’d definitely savored the feel of his hands cupping her ass and stroking her breasts. Hell, she’d climaxed! Fast. So fast, it had even caught him off guard.
Lacey Blackstone might believe she still loved her husband, but she’d responded to his touch. She hadn’t meant to, but obviously Danger wasn’t doing his homework. She’d reacted as if she was starved for sex. He’d felt it clear to his toes and by the immediacy of her response. She was a hungry woman. Yeah, she might love Danger, or think she still did, but the woman in her needed him.
Rafe shook his head and cursed himself for moving too fast. He wanted to be inside her so badly he’d rushed things. When the opportunity presented itself
again, he knew he’d do the same thing. He wouldn’t hesitate to take full advantage.
He wouldn’t give her time to think about what was happening between them. He intended to screw her every single chance he got, and he intended to see he got plenty of opportunities in the following hours.
Lacey thought to deny what just happened, deny what was growing between them. He’d let her get by with fooling herself for a little longer, another two or three hours. But when it came down to it, she had no choices left, other than to walk away from Danger and him. He didn’t think she’d do that. He believed in his heart she’d make a choice.
Danger had thrown her away.
When she realized it, Rafe intended to be there to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and put them together again.
Right now, she was in a state of denial. Lacey believed she was safe there in her house. He’d let her run, but she could only run so far. So fast. He had her scent. He was in hot pursuit.
Lacey would soon realize she was never going to be safe from him again.
Chapter Seven
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
~Helen Rowland
Two Months Earlier
Dec.25, Thursday
6:30 p.m.
Rafe turned off the hot water, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a navy blue towel around his hips. After Lacey left him standing in the cold, he’d remained in the barn for over an hour. Determined to give her some time alone, time to think, time to decide if she wanted him, and time for his body to cool down, he’d paced inside the barn like a wild stallion in need of a mare.
He’d have remained there forever if that was what it took to reassure her he wasn’t a sex maniac on the verge of attacking her, but damn, the temperature started to drop. The snow fell harder and harder, until finally, the cold drove him inside.
What if she told him to leave?
He held out his hands, amazed at how they shook.
Too Close To The Fire/Too Hot To Handle (Montana Men 3) Page 18
