by Martha Carr
"And I want to see if we can get more people out."
"First your grandmother."
"But how to find her in all of that."
"Oh, that's fairly easy if she's also looking for you. You go where the humans think a place is haunted. Those aren't ghosts. That's a thin place between this world and the world in between."
"Like where?"
"Well, best one I know of is the Driskill Hotel downtown on 6th Street. Lots of sightings there. I've known of a few of our kind who rent the haunted rooms hoping to see a loved one. Some even say it worked. Something moved, they found something. You're talking about a whole different thing, though. You're trying to attract a monster. If you go down there, be careful. Remember, that thing is hunting you and a place like the Driskill could make it easier to pounce."
Correk looked at Leira and knew. She'll head there the first chance she gets. Okay, here's where I trust you.
CHAPTER TEN
Correk and Leira made a few more turns around the large convention center, occasionally catching sight of a small furry streak or hearing "Yumfuck!" over the crowd. No one seemed to be looking for a manager and at one point a small crowd of magical beings were chanting "Yumfuck!" Someone was spoon-feeding him ice cream.
They found her mother by the set of the Starship Enterprise standing next to someone with a very deep voice who towered over everyone else. They were dressed in a futuristic formal ball gown, platform shoes and pearls with an oversized blond bouffant wig and a five o'clock shadow. Her mother was holding up her phone and chatting away, still smiling. Her face has to hurt by now from all that smiling.
"Mom! Whatcha doing?"
"Leira! That's my daughter. That's her friend, Correk. This is Dixie Normous, the esthetician for the Enterprise."
"How you doing?" A booming voice came out as Dixie batted long false eyelashes.
"Quite well," said Leira.
"Take our picture!" Eireka wrapped an arm around Dixie's waist. She didn't even come up to Dixie's shoulder.
Leira made a quick swipe looking through the camera roll. "You've been busy."
"Come on, honey. Take the picture!"
"You better hurry. The Chippenelves are about to start. They're setting up. You in it?" growled Dixie, looking Correk up and down.
"He's been invited," said Leira, a crooked smile on her face. "Okay, everybody smile," she said, backing up enough to get all of Dixie in the picture. "Got it!"
"Great, okay hon' gotta go. Want a front row seat and those go fast. See you there, sugar." Dixie gave Correk a long wink.
"Come on. I want to see what everyone's talking about." Eireka grabbed Leira's hand and pulled her along as she followed Dixie Normous, Correk in tow behind them.
"This will not end well," he muttered.
They got to the main stage roped off at the sides but the crowd was already too packed to get near the front.
"Hey there, fox." A woman dressed as Catwoman in skin tight lycra rubbed up against Correk.
"Nice cape." Another woman in tights and a Wonder Woman suit wrapped his cape around her waist, pulling him closer and kissing him on the cheek.
"You look like a tasty pop-tart!" A woman cooed at Correk, squeezing the muscles in his arm.
"What's happening?" he shouted, trying to pull away from the increasing number of women.
"Someone's pulled a practical joke and used a charming spell," said a round little man dressed as Spiderman. "Light Elves charm is ratcheted up to obnoxious level. My guess is a Gnome did it. They get a little tired of the disrespect."
"You're a Gnome," said Correk.
The man shrugged and smiled and quickly moved into the crowd where it was easier to hide.
"Creative little prick," said Leira. "Have to give him that."
"You, backstage. They're about to start." A large muscled guard held open the velvet rope to let Correk pass.
"You'll be safer back there," said Leira, laughing, as they turned to go down the side.
"Only one helper," said the guard.
"You go, Mom, seriously. I'll worm my way closer. Go on!" Leira laughed again watching women reach out to paw Correk's muscular arms and tousle his hair. He grabbed onto Eireka's hand and headed toward the backstage.
"See you on the flip side," Leira called after them. "This day has definitely improved."
***
Leira stood at the back of the crowd, staying behind the pack of women, dancing and yelling, "Come on, take it off!" The line of men came out onto the stage as an old disco song, Disco Inferno blared over the loudspeakers.
Leira thought she heard something over the noise but wasn't sure until she felt something trying to scurry up her leg.
"Yumfuck!" The troll was calling to her, trying to get a better spot.
Leira pulled him off her leg and set him on her shoulder.
"Ladies and gentlemen..." The announcer was dressed like Elvis the later years and had a deep, leathery tan. He was holding a gold, jewel-encrusted mic with large rings on every finger.
"Okay, I suppose that's a look," said Leira. The women just below him were rubbing his boots.
"Definitely a Light Elf. The only explanation." Leira moved so she could get a better view behind two small women who were crying and screaming.
"Never been so grateful to be part Light Elf and immune to this nonsense."
An old man whose belly leaned far enough over his belt to hide the buckle sidled up next to her and blew her a kiss. Got to be an old wizard. Leira drew on the energy in the floor and lit up her eyes, smacking him in the back of the head with a magical swat. He looked surprised and slinked off.
She got on her tiptoes trying to spot Correk as the men started gyrating but he wasn't on the stage. Eireka was just off to the side, dancing in the wings, keeping her eye on the men.
"Mom, you're a Light Elf. The charm doesn't even work on you. What are you doing?"
The men moved around the stage, pulling off their shirts on cue, getting a loud cheer from the crowd but otherwise they stayed off the beat and occasionally bumped into each other.
"That is a hot mess of some nice man meat," said Leira. "They are lucky they're good looking."
They continued to bumble around the stage, as a tall Light Elf with long dark hair broke into a dance from Saturday Night Fever, shaking his hips, pointing a finger at the ceiling and then the floor, over and over again. Leira spotted Correk sticking his head out of the curtain shouting something at the dancers who continued to ignore him. The ladies at the skirt of the stage didn't seem to care. Some started throwing dollar bills.
"I knew that ATM was a good idea." The troll bounced on her shoulder, pointing its little arm at the ceiling, then the floor, shaking its butt.
"Oh, what's Correk doing. Oh, oh no." Leira covered her mouth with her hand, her eyebrows shooting up. "Oh, this has to be a spell." Correk had eased himself out on stage and was slowly starting to dance. The chorus started again, 'Burn baby burn, Burn that mother down', as something came over Correk. He strode to the lip of the stage, stood there with his hands on his hips for a moment and then on the upbeat of 'disco inferno' tore off his tunic.
"My God, I want to look away but I can't." Leira let out a loud, "Woooooooohoooooooo," waving wildly from the back of the audience. Eireka spotted her and gave a thumbs up.
Two of the muscular Chippenelves danced closer to Eireka and she reached out and felt their muscles, clapping in delight. One dancer stopped long enough to flex and let her squeeze his arm a little longer. She looks over the moon. Leira let out another yell, clapping her hands over her head.
Correk was busy undulating his midsection on the edge of the stage, perfectly timed to the music. A few of the other dancers were imitating him and the crowd was growing louder. People were clapping over their heads. Correk broke into a line dance, stepping to the right, gyrating his hips and waving to the women in the front.
"Holy crap! A two step! He got that off of YouTube!" She glanced at her shoulder and noti
ced the troll was rolling his stomach muscles, waving his arms over his head. "We are really bad parents," laughed Leira. "I'd feel worse but I think you're older than I am. And a troll."
"Woot! Woot! Yumfuck!" yelled the troll, leaning over and shaking his ass.
"What the hell is Correk doing now?" Leira moved to get a better view.
Correk had his arms behind his head and was gyrating near the crowd again. Eireka was stepping out further onto the stage, touching the dancers as they went by her, occasionally getting spun around by a dancer mashing his hips against hers.
"All this without alcohol."
The guard who had let Correk and her mother go backstage was making his way upfront, taking the side stairs, stepping onto the stage. The women down front started pawing his leg but he shook them off with a snarl. "Angry Wood Elf, maybe. Not good. I'd better get up there." Leira started pushing her way toward the front, the troll still bouncing on her shoulder.
"Excuse me, sorry, excuse me, just want to get by, that's my mother, don't have the bail money on me, excuse me, sorry, Yumfuck let go of him, excuse me, sorry."
She finally made it to the four side steps and ignored the boos from the women. She saw Toni bobbing in the crowd giving her two thumbs up and she smiled and quickly climbed the stairs, pulling her new badge out of her back pocket, flashing it at the dancers starting to move in on her, still gyrating their hips.
"Not today, big fella." She made her way to the back of the stage where the guard was doing his best to pull her mother off of a muscled dancer with thick wavy brown hair. His back was to the audience and he was doing a slow stomach roll as Leira's mother slid dollar bills into his Speedo, while running her other hand through his hair. He was smiling, curling his lip, singing, "Satisfaction came in a chain reaction," as the guard demanded Eireka leave the stage. No one was listening to him.
The crowd started chanting, "Take it off, take it off," at the guard, only making him more frustrated.
"Not another one!" he shouted, throwing up his hands.
Leira flashed her badge at him, flipping it closed. "That's my mother, sir. And the machine dancing in the front is with me too."
"The trained mouse yours?" She had forgotten for a moment that Yumfuck was on her shoulder. She smiled at the guard. "I'll get her..."
"You a circus family or escaped from a nut farm."
Leira felt a thin thread of anger spike up the middle of her chest and burn in her throat. Glowing symbols appeared on the backs of her hands and her eyes started to glow. Correk spun around to shake his ass at the crowd and saw Leira lighting up, glaring at the frightened guard. He stopped dancing and scooped his tunic off the ground as the crowd gave out a loud, collective groan. He shoved his way to the back, putting a hand on Leira's shoulder, hiding her from onlookers.
"Cousin," he said, evenly, "I suppose we've had our fun."
Leira held still for a moment, still staring down the trembling guard. "Not crazy," she hissed. "Got it?"
The guard vigorously nodded his head as Leira let Correk lead her away. He put an arm around Eireka's waist and pulled her off the stage with him.
"None of you come back," the guard meekly yelled, jabbing a finger in the air. Leira turned back around and he took a step back, pressing himself against the wall.
"That was worth the fifteen-year wait," said Eireka, brushing a wet lock of hair out of her face. "Wow, men do a better job of grooming these days."
"They call it manscaping, remember?" said Correk.
"What exactly were you doing on the computer? How long was I gone from the house?"
"Eireka asked me to show her. She's into abs. What? She's a grown woman."
"I have needs," said Eireka, giggling as Leira did her best not to sputter.
"My brain is melting." Leira looked at Correk still standing there shirtless, breathing hard from the dancing, his muscular torso moving up and down. I could get hypnotized by that. "Put your tunic back on," she said, doing her best to look away.
Leira pulled Eireka's arm away before she could run her hand along Correk's back. Still, Leira found herself taking a longer look. It's like he has twelve pack abs. Is that even possible? She shook her head. No, not gonna go there. She looked at her mother. Eireka was still smiling, covered in sweat. Her own and a few dancers.
"You had a good time, didn't you?" Leira felt the anger drain out of her. Not going to waste a moment, she thought.
"I did. That was quite the workout. I think I used up all my dollar bills. Totally worth it. Best investment I've made today."
Leira finally laughed and hugged her mother tight. The troll jumped from her shoulder into Correk's open hand.
"I'm soaked! I'll get you wet," said Eireka.
"I don't care." Leira looked over her mother's shoulder at Correk. "Nice moves, big man. I have a few more questions about Oriceran now, of course."
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"You've been holding out. You've got moves like Jagger."
"Mick didn't invent the moves. He just showed them to a grateful nation. He used to visit more often. I wonder how he's getting on these days."
"I suppose that one actually makes sense. Come on, let's go. That's enough for one day. You good, Mom? I think you got close to a hundred pictures and you were the groupie for the Chippenelves."
"I'm good. Whew! That was amazing! It hasn't even been a week of freedom!"
"We can't keep up this pace, Mom. Even as Elves. This will do me in."
"Live a little, daughter."
"Trust me, I'm already out of my box and someone took the box away and used it for origami. Let's get you home so you can wash off all that sweaty DNA."
"This was not a crime scene, my dear daughter. It was a happening."
Leira kissed her mother's forehead, holding her head in her hand. "Yeah, it was."
"Motherfuckers!" yelled the troll, holding up peace signs. He had tied the paper wrapper from a straw around his forehead.
"Ah, there you go, perfect ending," said Eireka.
"Yes, just like Woodstock. Don't say it," said Liera, pointing at Correk.
"Well, Jimi Hendrix..." muttered Correk, smiling.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Leira waited till Correk was in the shower. "Nesturnium," she said over the sleepy troll. She tucked the washcloth around him. He was holding a pair of her underwear in his arms. "I see that's still a thing," she whispered. "Going to have to make a run to Target." She went out into the living room where Eireka was sitting on the couch looking up pictures of shirtless men. Leira shook her head and smiled. "Try not to stare at those too long, Mom. Pace yourself. You know most men don't actually look like that."
"Light Elves do."
"Point taken. Are those all Light Elves? Never mind. That is a rabbit hole I don't have time for. I'll be back soon. Don't wait up if it gets late. I'll be fine." She kissed her mother on the top of her head. Her hair was still damp.
"At least be careful, okay?" Eireka held up her hand. "I'm not asking for an explanation. I know you can take care of yourself. Correk is used to a different world where the Elves naturally do most everything together. He can't imagine someone running toward danger alone. But I know you. Even though I haven't gotten to be around you for most of your life, I know you, and I believe in you. Go, be careful and come home to tell me all about it." A small do over. "Leira, if you need my help..."
Leira stopped, her hand on the doorknob.
"You can send out a stream of energy and I'll feel it. We're connected. All the women in our line are connected by the energy. It's how your grandmother knew you were in such grave danger. Even in there, she felt it. If you need me," she said, slowly, "send out a signal. Let me answer."
"Promise," Leira said softly, and she quietly slid out the door as the shower stopped, hurrying for the gate.
"Hey Leira!" One of the regulars called out to her.
"What have I told you about making her wave at you every fool time she comes and goes."
Estelle shot out a wet bar towel, snapping it at someone.
"Estelle you still have a soft spot in my heart," said Scott. "Some day you're gonna end up in heaven."
"Well, I'll miss you people," grumbled Estelle, the cigarette bouncing between her teeth as she talked.
"Did she just say we were going to hell?" asked Lucy.
"Yeah, don't take it personally. She works that point into a conversation at least once a week," said Mike.
Leira hurried out the gate and got in the Mustang, quickly driving away. She made a quick stop, getting back into her car and called her old station. Detective Hagan was on a case down on 5th Street. Possible suicide the desk sergeant said, but no one was sure yet.
She looked at the pink box in her lap and turned off the engine. It was easier to walk the one block to the crime scene where her old partner was than to drive there. She turned the corner passing under the Driskill Hotel, looking up at the windows with the curved stone arches and was tempted to go in but she made a promise. Besides, she wanted to see Hagan.
She got up to the barricades and was about to lift the tape when she remembered she didn't work for the department anymore. She waited for an officer to approach, a new face, and pulled out her badge.
"What are the Feds doing here?" he asked, lifting the tape. "Looks like a straight-up suicide."
"Visiting a friend. Hagan nearby?"
"Strange place to pay a visit. He's right over there. Near the jumper."
Leira made her way over to the blue Chevy Tahoe with a large plastic sheet draped over it. The top of the Tahoe was caved in.
"What are you doing here? They don't have enough for you to do? Uh oh, the pink box on the job. This can't be good. Don't ruin doughnut time for me by always saying shit I don't want to hear."
"Hello to you too, Hagan. This is a makeup box for the doughnut Yumfuck got a hold of."
"Yeah, I noticed later the little fucker had licked a few others. I don't know how he does it. Fast as lightning. That's it? You drove all the way down here just to bring me food? If you were Rose I'd say this is my reoccurring dream but I generally wake up just as she hands me the pink box."
