“Dr Hill’s office?” Christine’s voice was soft through the intercom.
“Rebecca Taylor.” I managed.
“Push the door Ms Taylor.” She chirped.
My stomach was in knots and I worried that I might be sick again, anticipation was flooding my hands and feet with pins and needles as I stepped through the door into Lana’s office. She sat in front of the fire, a tight smile on her face.
“Ms Taylor, it’s nice to see you.” She stood up and shifted her eyes to the door meaningfully, which I closed quickly.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” I admitted once the door clicked shut.
“I’m so sorry.” Her disposition changed immediately and she stepped towards me taking my hands.
“I was afraid you were regretting what happened.” I smiled weakly.
“No, not at all.” She sighed raising her hand to cup my cheek.
“What happened to your face?” I asked suddenly noticing a small cut and purple bruise that was unsuccessfully hidden by makeup.
“Oh, my dad’s wife really took a liking to me.” She laughed again and guided me around to the chairs in front of the fire.
“What? She hit you? Why?” I stuttered. Lana seemed to falter.
“Too much alcohol. I said a few things to my father that she didn’t approve of, it’s nothing really.” She placed her hands on my knees. “How are you?”
“I’m ok, I feel a little sick today though.” I added.
“You do? Lovesick?” Lana pulled a pouting sad face that made me laugh.
“I know it’s crazy, but I missed you.” I admitted. “Is that a really typical girly thing to say?”
“Yes, but that’s ok and not crazy at all, I haven’t stopped thinking about you either. I just had so much to do and didn’t really want you to see me with a black eye.” She gestured towards her face.
“Do you still want to see me? I mean out of here? I didn’t know whether I should come to the appointment or not.” I asked unable to hold in my fears any longer. Lana smiled so that her eyes creased at the corners, she lifted her hand and ran it to my lips, leaning forward to kiss me gently so that I melted at her touch.
“Does that answer your question?” She grinned and kissed me again as I nodded. “But no definitely don’t come to an appointment again!” She smiled but her voice was serious. “Shall I come to your place later?” She whispered. I ran my tongue over her bottom lip. “We can continue this, conversation.” She smiled against my cheek.
“Well, I think I have another fifty two minutes of your time right now.” I could feel the nervous energy running up my spine. Lana’s green eyes flicked between the door to the office and my rapidly flushing face.
“Rebecca, I don’t know quite what you are insinuating?” She cocked an eyebrow.
Swallowing the racing heart beat that had jumped into my throat, I took a deep breath and rose to my feet shrugging off my coat. I stood there for a moment, acutely aware that I had no idea what I was doing, I moved forwards bending down so that my arms rested on the sides of the chair and my face was only centimetres away from Lana.
“You always look so scared when you’re around me.” Lana frowned a little.
“You are so beautiful.” It was all I could manage as an explanation, Lana’s frown deepened. She slipped out of the chair into the space between us so that she was kneeling in front of me pulling me with her, she took my hands in hers and wrapped my arms around her neck.
“So are you.” She rubbed her head against mine tilting her face to kiss me. I could feel myself slipping backwards, my legs wobbling under the rush of adrenaline that was pumping through my veins, a narrow hand slipped behind my head and held me as I lowered to the floor. Lana held herself up on her forearms letting her weight press into me, the kiss deepened, her hands running through the strands of hair that had fallen loose around my face. I let my hands rest on the small of her back stroking under the edging of the chiffon blouse that was clinging to her skin.
Lana sat up suddenly, her legs either side of my waist she pressed herself up and reached her hands towards me pulling me to my feet and leading me towards her desk on the other side of the room.
“I have a funny feeling I know where this is going.” I smiled sheepishly as she turned me so that my back was against the edge of the wood but there was no smile on her lips, her eyes were dark in the dim light, her hands reached for the buttons on my jeans and popped them open with ease. She paused for a moment.
“Close your eyes.” She whispered kissing me briefly.
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“Do you trust me?” Lana looked at me her eyes searching my own.
“Yes.” I replied. She stayed looking at me until I closed my eyes with a very nervous laugh. She took my hands and pressed them onto the edge of the desk, then slid my jeans to the floor. I felt her move down my body, heard her kneel into the carpet her hands brushing up my thighs, her fingers hooked into the sides of my underwear pulling gently so they moved slowly down. With every inch they lowered she placed a kiss, her breath against my skin jolted me at every touch, I bit into my lip trying to steady myself and supress the urge to moan.
“You have to stay quiet Rebecca.” Lana told me before running her tongue along the crease of my groin making me almost collapse, I could feel her smiling against my thigh. Her hands stroked my hips as her tongue traced a spiralling pattern until it was pressed directly between my legs, flicking and swirling against me sending hot waves through every part of my body. I released my hand from the desk and pulled my fingers through her ebony hair feeling her push into me with more pressure and speed.
“I don’t think I can do this here.” I told her biting down on my lip, overly aware of the waiting room right outside the door. Lana stopped suddenly, leaving me aching painfully, she stayed still for a moment then stood up in one fluid movement.
“Your right, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that here when you have to be so quiet.” She was almost touching my lips. “It would be cruel to try and make you experience something for the first time and not be able to fully enjoy it.” There was a tone to her voice I couldn’t quite place but before I had a chance to ask her I felt her fingers slide into me, I almost cried out at the sensation but Lana pressed her lips to mine hard muffling the sound. Holding me there she moved her hand slowly, I sagged against the desk so that she had to lean over to kiss me, I rushed to kiss her back feeling the pressure build inside me, but she refused to be hurried and slowly continued the deep rocking motion until I began to shudder against her. Lights were popping behind my closed eyes, my legs shaking as I struggled to stay standing.
“I think your hour is just about up.” She told me with a blatant grin. I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock.
“I have ten minutes left.” I focused on her face letting it swim in my vision, the room seemed to lurch and I slid sideways.
“Jesus Rebecca.” Lana had managed to catch hold of me and lower me to the floor.
“I’m ok.” I mumbled but my mouth felt as though it was filled with cotton wool.
“You are not ok.” Lana wobbled in and out of view bending and swaying as my eyes lost focus.
I felt my jeans being pulled back up and fastened carefully. “You need a doctor.”
The room slowly stopped spinning and although I felt weak, the ground became firmer and Lana was perfectly solid again.
“Seriously I’m ok, I think I just need to eat. I don’t feel too great today.” I told her taking her hand and inching up to reach the seat.
“Rebecca you need to see a doctor.” Lana was genuinely worried, concern creasing her features. As though on command I doubled up as a pain ripped through my stomach. “That’s it. Get up.” She hoisted me to my feet.
“Where are we going?” I asked breathlessly.
“Hospital.” Came the reply.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The frustration at being on the other side of sitting
in a hospital bed when you’re a nurse cannot be described, hearing all the talk and knowing what it means, knowing that there is nothing seriously wrong with you but having to sit and wait regardless. I drummed my fingers against the paper covering of the bed. Lana was staring at me intently.
“What?” I asked her.
“Huh?” Was the reply.
“You have been staring at me for about twenty minutes, in silence.” I laughed.
“Sorry.” Lana mumbled and swapped her legs to cross over one and other. I picked at the plaster and cotton wool covering the pin prick where blood had been drawn from my arm.
“Rebecca.” Yvonne bustled in throwing back the curtain.
“Hey.” I pushed myself upright a little more, noticing how Yvonne gawped at the gorgeous woman who was on the edge of her seat in the corner.
“Ok honey.” Yvonne shook herself and scanned the notes attached to the clipboard. “Everything looks ok, you’re anaemic so you’ll need some iron tablets but that’s to be expected. Your blood sugars were low are you eating enough?” I narrowed my eyes.
“No not really, but I’ll make sure I do.” Yvonne opened her mouth to continue but I interrupted cutting her short. “Why would you expect me to be anaemic?”
“Well when you’re four months Rebecca it’s a given. I know we’re not midwives but you know how it goes.” Yvonne gave a shrug and continued to scan the notes as the world blurred around me, at some point she must have realised I still wasn’t speaking and she faltered midsentence. “Oh my God, you didn’t know?”
I shook my head and turned to look at Lana who was staring at me wide eyed.
“I didn’t know.” I told her panic flooding over me.
“It’s ok.” She murmured.
“Chris will be supportive I’m sure.” Yvonne chimed in trying to ease the situation.
“Four months?” I asked quietly, the nurse nodded her reddened face.
“Jesus!” Lana exclaimed and dropped her head into her hands.
“Can you give me a minute?” I hopped off the bed and practically pushed Yvonne out of the cubicle sliding shut the curtain. “Lana I’m sorry.” I began to sob reaching for her hands.
“You don’t understand.” She sounded as though she was crying too.
“I do, I’m shocked myself. All the years of trying and that one night, I didn’t think it would even be possible, they said I couldn’t.” I dropped my hands lamely, reality seeping in.
“It’s amazing.” Lana looked up at me her eyes spilling over with tears. “You deserve something good to come out of something so bad.”
“But you don’t want to be involved right?” I gulped back a sob.
“It’s not that.” Lana seemed to crumble again.
“Yeah it is, it’s ok, we barely know each other, this has only just begun I don’t expect you to commit to a baby.” I could feel the flood of tears building inside me. She stayed silent staring at the floor.
“Rebecca?” Yvonne called gently from the other side of the curtain, she had obviously been standing there the whole time. I stood up and inched my face out into the open, the nylon fabric brushing at my chin.
“Yes?” I sniffed.
“You can go now.” Yvonne shifted nervously, not quite meeting my eye. “You need to leave an address so that we can get a letter posted out to you for an appointment.” She handed me a clipboard with a form attached to it, a biro dangling from a piece of string wound around the top, I scribbled down the details and shoved it back towards her.
“I should go.” Lana was on her feet, fussing with the buttons of her coat.
“Ok.” I nodded, pressing my teeth into my lip to stop the tears. She slid past me in the narrow space and vanished through the curtain, I listened as her heels clipping the tiles became fainter. The world seemed to pulse in and out of focus, I pressed my hands through my hair whimpering at the remaining residue of Lana’s perfume that clung to my skin.
“Becky?” Yvonne was back, she nudged the curtain aside and bundled in hurriedly.
“Can my life get any fucking worse?” I hissed through stifled sobs.
“Oh honey.” Tears dotted her eyes. “Sit down a minute.” She hopped up onto the bed and patted the space beside her. “So are you going to tell Chris?”
“It’s not his baby.” I said disbelief in my voice, all the years and now I was actually pregnant.
“Oh. Are you sure?” Yvonne was gawping at me.
“I’m positive, we hadn’t slept together for months before the attack in fact the last time was my birthday in June!” I admitted.
“And there was nobody else?” Yvonne asked quietly.
“No!” I raised my voice.
“Ok! You know what this means then?” She glanced at me.
“What?” I sniffed.
“Once this baby is born, there’s genetic proof that it was him.” Yvonne’s words took a moment to sink in.
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed.
“He denied even being there so he can’t try to play the consensual card!” Yvonne smiled.
“Son of a bitch!” I shouted. “He won’t be able to call me a liar anymore! They will have to send him to jail!”
“Look, Becky we all know how those records went missing. The test results would have proven it was him.” I stared at Yvonne as she lowered her voice. “His dad came in here and dropped a few hints about money, obviously he was told to leave but the report we filed about the incident vanished as well, it was given to the medical board but got ‘misplaced’ before it ever left the building. I don’t know for certain but my brother in law is a police man and he said they paid off the police too.” I couldn’t even speak, my whole body was ringing with anger. “If they find out about this baby, I’m not sure what they would do.” Yvonne looked at me hard. “Do not tell the hospital, just leave on grounds of stress, go to your GP get them to confirm the pregnancy, I won’t be putting it on anything here.”
I nodded. “You need to make sure your friend keeps quiet too.” She emphasised the word friend.
Out in the car park Lana kicked her car into life spinning out into the lanes of traffic, tears rolling down her face cutting black tracks of mascara across her cheeks. Horns blared as she darted between oncoming vehicles heading for the quieter winding lanes. The houses began to thin out. A shrill ringing sounded from her bag making her jump, she flicked the indicator and flung the car to a stop nudging the kerb with a small bump. Lana shoved a hand into the folds of leather and grasped the handset which was wedged between some paperwork and a box of cigarettes which she gratefully pulled out as well.
“Yes?” She pressed down on the button without even looking and slid a cigarette between her lips balancing the phone against her shoulder while she lit it.
“Your car was at A and E?” Miranda stated more than asked.
“No.” Lana lied and lowered the window to blow the smoke into the air.
“Lana. There aren’t many people with a car like yours and I know your number plate.” There was almost a laugh.
“What do you want?” Lana raised her voice.
“Are you ok?” Miranda asked quietly.
“Do you actually give a shit?” She barked back.
“You know I do.” The voice was lower again. In the background laughter and clinking glasses echoed faintly.
“Why are you calling me?” Lana looked at the screen of the phone holding it away from her ear. The date read nineteenth of December. “It’s your husbands birthday go back to the party.”
“Wait don’t put the phone down!” Miranda said quickly. “I need to see you. There’s things you need to know.” Lana paused she knew the older woman well enough to tell when she was being serious.
“About what?” Lana sighed.
“Your father. Your family.” The voice was lowered again. “Come to the apartment at eight.” The phone beeped and cut off.
“Fuck!” Lana screamed banging her hand against the wheel. She smoothed back her ha
ir, pulling the mirror down she wiped away the long black lines of eyeliner and pressed a red lipstick from the centre console to her mouth. She stared into the glass imagining Rebecca and what she would be doing now. It was too much, she swallowed a sob and turned the car back out onto the road her mind racing, why did people with money always think they could do anything they wanted? Like normal rules of being a decent human being didn’t apply to them because they’re rich. Well, let them try and pay their way out of this, she changed direction.
“Hey Ben, a car just pulled up at the back of the house.” A tall blond haired man was bent over the snooker table aiming a cue at one of the ball’s, Ben lounged against the table watching with a bored expression.
“It’s probably a cleaner or something.” He mumbled.
“No it’s a Porsche and the woman is hot!” Ben stood up straighter and moved quickly into the hallway to press against the wide ledge that edged a huge arched window. He swallowed lightly as Lana pressed the lock on her car making the lights flash off the garage walls.
“Where’s my dad?” Ben asked moving away from the window, his friend shrugged.
“He left a while ago.”
“Did he say anything about when he would be back?” He stuttered.
“Nope! He said he was going to see your mum then they were going to the theatre.” Ben looked at the huge gilded clock on the wall it read four fifty five, that meant hours before anyone else was home.
“One of you get hold of him! We can’t let her in.” Ben took off running down the thickly carpeted corridor, cue still in hand.
“What are you talking about? The doors in this place are never locked.” The friend laughed and sipped the beer in his hand.
“No your right they aren’t.” Lana had appeared from the other set of stairs and was standing half in shadow.
“You need to leave right now.” Ben stormed back the way he had come.
“No I need to speak to you right now.” She flew at him her hand gripping at his throat as she pushed him backwards into the room.
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