Rhoda fidgeted with the strings to her prayer Kapp. “I’ve told you already. On this I have neither a woman’s intuition nor a God-given one.” At least not yet. Maybe she never would. Seeing Phoebe as she had a few days ago, standing in the hospital near her husband and holding their baby, might be nothing more than the trauma of the events stirring Rhoda’s imagination.
Jacob scooted back his chair and propped an ankle on his knee. “If you’re not careful, Steven, Rhoda will use her most powerful gift of all. When Phoebe is home months from now, irritable from all she’s been through and from being up all night with an infant, Rhoda will tell on you.”
Steven stared at Jacob. Then he laughed. Softly at first, and then it was as though the dam broke, and tears, laughter, and chuckles rippled through the weary group. It was a couple of minutes before the room grew quiet again, and Rhoda was grateful Jacob had come.
Steven sighed. “Sorry, Rhodes.” He forced a smile, and she saw true remorse for his outburst. “It won’t happen again.”
“Don’t buy it, Rhodes. He just doesn’t want you tattling to his wife.” This was the Jacob she’d met long ago—all jokes and cutting up. She hoped it was a sign that his heart had healed from the breakup as hers had.
“I won’t tell, Steven. And you’re forgiven.”
Rhoda’s Mamm bounced Arie on her lap. “If you need to move Phoebe anyway, why not bring her closer to home?”
Rhoda and Steven had talked about that. It would give the children two sets of grandparents they could stay with. Rhoda, Leah, and Iva loved his children, but they had work to do, and his children needed the stability of grandparents. If something were to happen to either child because their caregivers were spread too thin and were too distracted, Steven wouldn’t be able to live with himself.
Besides, Mamm would focus all her attention on making things as easy as possible on Steven and her grandchildren. She’d provide meals and child-care, and they’d take turns staying by Phoebe’s side. “They have good hospitals in Lancaster. And Hershey Medical is supposed to be one of the best, isn’t it?” Mamm asked.
Daed angled his head, his faint smile wavering. “I don’t mean to throw a monkey wrench into this difficult situation, but Samuel and the girls can’t stay here without Steven and Phoebe. There has to be a married couple in with single people.”
Steven rapped his fingers on the table. “It’s not something I’ve talked to them about yet, but what you’re saying is true.”
“What if Samuel slept in the harvest kitchen?” Iva asked.
Rhoda’s Daed pressed his fingertips against his chest. “I wish that would work. But there are too many rumors circling about this settlement as it is.” He gestured at her Mamm and himself. “We don’t believe them, Rhodes. But you have to be careful.”
Even her Daed had heard the same things Samuel’s Daed had? Suddenly she was pretty confident who was stirring rumors—Rueben Glick, the man who’d ripped out her herb and fruit garden years ago. She doubted he was the one voicing the strife, not after Samuel had put his lies into perspective in front of her church leaders and district before the move to Maine. Rueben had probably misled someone into doing the dirty work for him, someone who would sow strife through the most anonymous venue available—the Amish chat line.
“Rumors aside,” Steven said. “We’re on thin ice with the new bishop as it is.”
She supposed the Amish who’d supported their move here had been as patient with their nonconformity as they were going to be, which helped explain why Samuel’s father had been so difficult about the situation with Leah and Landon.
“What about Camilla?” Iva asked. “You were living with her when I moved here. Samuel could stay there.”
“Not a good idea.” Daed shrugged. “Rhoda got away with living at Camilla’s house because no one outside this home realized it was happening, but Samuel can’t live with an Englisch family and stay in the good graces of the new bishop. Every Amish community needs to be as self-sufficient from the Englisch world as possible. We may need to hire drivers and use hospitals, but surely we don’t need to rely on outsiders for a place to sleep.”
Leah got up and started stacking plates. “Couldn’t he move in with one of the new members of this community? I can’t think of an extra room in anyone’s house, but surely someone would sleep on the couch for a while and give him a room.”
Steven pushed back from the table. “We can’t solve this tonight.” He stood, his countenance that of a man on the brink of losing the wife he adored.
“Steven.” As weariness set in, Rhoda struggled to find the strength to voice her question. She was positive that before Benjamin King left here, he’d extracted some sort of promise from her brother about making sure Landon kept his word and stayed away from Leah. But he deserved the opportunity to visit Phoebe. “I’d like to contact Landon.” He’d been Rhoda’s assistant long before she partnered with Kings’ Orchard, and Phoebe had often invited him to have dinner with the Byler family. Besides, this wasn’t about Landon and Leah. Would Steven set aside his position as an Amish preacher long enough to give her permission to try to reach him?
Steven studied the table for several long moments, and then he nodded. “Phoebe would want him included. Do you know how to reach him?”
“Not directly, but his granny will.”
Steven nodded. “You make the call.”
As he left the room, Rhoda saw movement from her peripheral vision, and she shut her eyes tight, praying the image would disappear. Phoebe’s voice echoed in her ears, calling her name. Rhoda …
Rhoda refused to look. No. No. No!
Someone touched her shoulder, and she jolted with a gasp. Every eye in the room was on her.
Leah pulled back her hand. “Samuel was talking to you.”
Samuel was beside her chair, looking down at her, and his effort to smile didn’t hide his concern. “Feel like getting your coat and going for a walk?”
An odd, sickening feeling stirred. She should want to go with him, but anxiety held her captive. Between the emotional upheavals concerning Phoebe and the mounting work load of the farm, Samuel was under enough pressure. She wouldn’t tax him by sharing her visions of Phoebe.
“After I call Erlene, I … I think I’ll turn in for the night.”
Maybe a good night’s sleep would clear her mind and spirit.
TWENTY-TWO
Rhoda dialed the number Erlene had given her moments ago. Would Landon answer a call from this number? “Hello?” Landon’s familiar voice stole her ability to speak.
Did he have any idea how much she wanted to invite him back, how much she missed him? She couldn’t voice it. Neither he nor Leah needed any more mixed messages than they’d already received.
“Leah?” The concern in his voice over the woman he loved made Rhoda fight against tears.
She cleared her throat, determined to find her voice. “It’s me, Rhoda. Leah’s fine.” Well, that was an exaggeration. Leah was probably about the same as Landon—confused and grieved. “There’s a problem with Phoebe, and I wanted you to know.” She explained the situation as best she knew how. He asked a lot of questions about Phoebe’s prognosis that she didn’t know the answer to.
“Landon, I … I’m really sorry … for how everything played out. Are you okay?”
“I regret giving my word to leave without talking to Leah and agreeing to no contact for a year. But there are days when I think maybe it had to go this way to give her and me perspective on what it would mean for both of us if she were to leave the Amish.”
Rhoda soaked in every word as he shared a few things about his new life, but she heard in his voice that he was struggling with anger. Before they let the conversation take them to places they shouldn’t go, they said their good-byes. She lowered the phone into its cradle, but she couldn’t pull her hand away.
Surely he understood that she could’ve given the message to Erlene to pass to him, but Rhoda needed to hear his voice. And he
needed to be reminded that she valued him as much as always, even though he had the power to whisk Leah away to a life she, her children, and many generations after her might regret.
She propped her elbows on the desk, folded her hands, and covered her mouth. “Father, what is right concerning them? After all we’ve been through this week, I no longer care what anyone else thinks or fears, including me. I only want to stand on the side of right. Show me, please.”
She could hear a couple of people tending to the livestock. When she looked through the office door into the barn, someone in an Amish dress passed by. Was it Leah? Rhoda stood.
Rhoda … kumm. Phoebe’s voice, as clear as if she were standing in the same room, echoed inside Rhoda.
She walked out of the office, searching for … something.
Jacob, Leah, and Samuel were in various places in the barn, each doing some chore.
Samuel came out of a horse’s stall and locked it. “Something wrong?” He strode to her, his brown eyes begging her to talk to him.
“No.” She hated lying, but she wouldn’t put her burden on him, not when he was doing all he could to keep his family together, the reputation of this settlement intact, and the farm running. “I talked to Landon.”
Leah tossed the hay in her hands back onto the bale and inched toward Rhoda. “Did he say anything … about me?”
“His first concerns were how you’re faring. He’s struggling too—with hurt, anger, and confusion, much like you are, but he’s trying to do what’s right. He’s got a new job at a guest ranch in Pennsylvania, and that’s where he’s living.”
Leah put her hand on her chest, patting it as she breathed deeply. She had to be greatly relieved to hear—even indirectly—at least this much from him. “How’d he take the news?”
“Hard. He likes Phoebe. When I first hired him, the rest of my family was leery of the trouble it’d cause for me to have an Englisch assistant, especially a young man about my age, but Phoebe invited him to eat with my folks and siblings and won his heart right then.” Rhoda looked past Leah, seeing a misty-colored Phoebe. She closed her eyes for a moment. “He’s concerned about you and said to let you know he’s praying.” When had Landon gone from a skeptic to one who prayed? “I’m going to bed.”
Samuel stepped in front of her, blocking her way. “We need to talk.”
His gentle voice warmed her, but she shook her head. “Not tonight.” She went around him, but he moved, blocking her again.
“Rhoda.” He stayed put, and when she tried to step around him, he stopped her. “I know you’re exhausted, but I know what else I know too.” His voice raised several notches. “It’s never good when you try to squelch your fears. They then mix with your faith until you can’t tell one from the other.”
What was he thinking to voice her most private struggles in front of others? Rhoda glanced behind her at Leah and Jacob doing their chores and acting as if they weren’t witnessing Samuel being difficult. “Don’t do this.” Rhoda balled her fists, warring with whether to shove him or burst into tears and run.
Samuel looked at her hands and then his eyes met hers. “You planning on hitting me?”
“The thought crossed my mind.”
He postured himself, puffing out his chest and daring her to do it, an understanding smile in place. “When you’re done, will you talk to me?”
Tears welled, and she shoved him. “You’re a pain. You know that?” A bit of laughter escaped her.
He stepped back on impact, grinning. “Is that it?”
“Just let me pass. Okay?”
He waggled two fingers in front of her eyes. “I see what’s going on with you, Rhoda Byler. Make no mistake about that. And things have been building inside you since Landon left. The situation with Phoebe is a lot, but you keep shoving me away.” Anger flashed in his eyes, overtaking his effort to remain gentle.
She knew that right then he didn’t care who thought what. He wanted what he wanted. “You have enough to deal with.”
“I don’t deal with you!” Samuel glanced up and seemed to realize what she’d thought was obvious—that Jacob and Leah could hear them. He gestured for her to follow him, and they stepped out of the barn far enough that their voices wouldn’t echo off the barn walls. “I’m privileged to be someone you trust.” The sincerity in his brown eyes assured her he meant what he said.
“But you’re tired, and …”
“We’ve traveled a long, difficult journey to have the freedom to be here for each other. Ya?”
She nodded.
“Don’t take that from us, Rhoda. Not ever.”
She wanted to melt into his arms for a long, warm hug. But she wouldn’t with Jacob here.
She swallowed. “I’m seeing Phoebe …”
The argument between Samuel and Rhoda rang in Jacob’s ears as he finished filling the water troughs, wound the hose, and put it on the hook. His brother and Rhoda had gone from view, leaving Jacob baffled and raw. At the end of their short but passionate disagreement, he couldn’t resist looking up from his chores, and he realized that whether they were enjoying the best life had to give or enduring the worst, Rhoda and Samuel knew and loved each other beyond what made logical sense.
He realized something else too. He often fought for what he shouldn’t, like when he kept trying to dig that Englisch construction company out of the mess they were in and when he fought to get Sandra’s husband free of his gambling debts. But Jacob often gave up when he should fight, like when he ran from the law instead of trying to clear his name and get his freedom back. Of all the things he gave up on, he worried that giving up on friendships was one of the easiest.
Samuel entered the barn, and Jacob lost his train of thought.
His brother took one of the lit kerosene lanterns off its peg. “You’re about done, right?”
“Ya, why?” Leah leaned a pitchfork against the wall.
“I think all of us should call it a day.”
“Uh. You’re not thinking about this right.” Jacob had known before coming here that he’d be offended by Samuel at the slightest thing, and he’d been right. What was his brother thinking? “I’m going to the hospital tomorrow morning, so I won’t be around to help. We could get a jump on your work load by mixing the oily concoction and filling the tanks tonight.”
“I appreciate that a lot, Jacob. But I’ll get an early start on it tomorrow. Okay?”
Jacob grit his teeth. Samuel wanted time with Rhoda, probably to talk for hours. Jacob didn’t come here to lend a helping hand so his brother could stay up all night talking to his ex-girlfriend. Besides, why now? Weren’t there already enough raw emotions without Samuel and Rhoda needing to talk about their feelings? Sometimes love seemed the stupidest thing on the planet.
Yet love is all that really matters. The thought struck him cold, and he immediately wondered what Leah might need from him to help her cope better with Landon being run off and Phoebe being in the hospital.
The thoughts cooled his offense. “I guess I could use some time with my little sister, if she’s game.” The house didn’t have a quiet or private space. “Maybe a walk in the orchard or sitting in the loft.”
Leah studied Jacob, looking interested in what he might want. She motioned toward the ladder that led to the hayloft, and Jacob nodded before reaching for a lantern.
“Oh.” Samuel’s voice made them pause. “There’s been an issue with restocking our oil supply. I’d originally thought we’d be out before now, but since Steven hasn’t been in the field at all due to Phoebe’s illness, we still have some left. However, we only have enough to work the field tomorrow. The order is waiting at the supply store. We just haven’t been able to get it.”
Jacob wondered what else they were behind on. Getting the oil would take a while, but it was necessary. “I’ll return from the hospital before the others, and I’ll be sure the driver takes me by the place to get it.”
As he and Leah took lanterns with them and climbed into t
he hayloft, he wrestled with his feelings toward Samuel and Rhoda. Maybe it was jealousy. Or maybe it was just weird being around the girl he’d intended to marry. How soon could he get off this farm and return to … to … a different kind of loneliness?
While he hung the lanterns, Leah grabbed several old blankets out of a box. She walked to the end of the hayloft that faced the orchard and put several on the floor like a mat. Then she tossed one to Jacob. “When are you leaving?”
“I was just asking myself the same thing. I should go see Phoebe and assure Steven he can call me anytime.”
“And help Samuel finish covering the trees in oil before the insects hatch—so at least a week or two? Right?”
That had been his plan before he saw Samuel and Rhoda interact, but Leah was right of course. He nodded. “I guess I’ll be here a week.” And hopefully not two.
They sat, and through the open door he saw Rhoda and Samuel carrying chairs and lanterns toward the orchard. A silvery, thin fog rested on rows and rows of scraggly-looking trees. They were healthy, of that he had no doubt, but apple trees without leaves reminded him of a haunted forest. He assumed this view appeared completely different to Samuel and Rhoda. They set their chairs at the edge of the orchard.
Samuel and Rhoda—he sighed—there had to be a better topic. “So, how are you really doing?”
Leah talked about Landon and missing him while being angry with him.
Jacob shifted, leaning his back against the frame of the door. “You don’t seem as upset as I thought you’d be.”
She tucked one of the blankets over her legs. “I’m plenty stressed, and my heart feels as if someone ran it through a blender.”
The last time Leah was really stressed over a breakup, she couldn’t keep food down, her stomach hurt all the time, and she lost a lot of weight. Of course, she added to the problems by drinking on the weekends. Leah gave up her willful ways, and Rhoda provided her with a lot of herbal tea concoctions that seemed to help. “How’s your stomach?”
Seasons of Tomorrow Page 20
