Playing Hardball, Part 3
By Sharon Cummin
Copyright © 2016 Sharon Cummin
All Rights Reserved
Warning: This story contains explicit sexual content that is not intended for those under the age of 18. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious and the age of 18 and older. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 1
Lucy
How could I have been so stupid, I thought to myself? I should have been more careful. It was the first time I was with Lance that it happened. I'd never been risky with any man before. Why was he the one I messed up with? How in the hell did I get pregnant the first time? That was ridiculous. People talked about that shit all the time, but I never thought it would happen to me. I'd also never not been careful. That was the only time.
My phone continued to go off, and I kept crying until I was exhausted. A baby, I thought. How could I have done that to Brad? He would never have wanted me to be alone forever. I knew he'd been gone over five years. There was no reason I shouldn't move on, I thought. I just didn't want to. I still missed him every single day, and the guilt tore at my heart so much. Those times I felt something when I was with Lance made me feel horrible. It felt like I was betraying Brad and everything I'd promised. I'd never felt anything for any of the guys I'd been with since he passed. Lance was the first one to make me shiver and my stomach flutter. I missed him the last time he was gone, and I was already missing him again. There were two reasons I couldn't let myself feel for him. One was that I didn't want to betray Brad, and the other was that Lance had made it very clear that when he was done having fun with me, he was walking away. He didn't care about me, and I couldn't blame him. He had the perfect life. There was no reason for him to settle for me.
I opened my eyes for a moment and saw the stick on the floor next to me, still feeling as if it were a neon sign. A baby, I thought again. I was really having a baby. Could I do it? Would I be any good at being a mom? Mine was awful. I didn't want to be anything like her. If I had a baby, I'd want him or her to feel so loved. I'd want to always be there and always help them through everything in their life. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want to follow them around as adults or anything. Who knows, maybe I would. I'd just want them to feel the opposite about me than I did about my own mom. The thought of a little one counting on me scared me so much. I couldn't even take care of my husband. He was gone because I couldn't just make us dinner. A baby would count on me for everything. Could I keep them safe? Could I protect them? Could I do it alone? Carrie was able to do it. James was amazing and very loved with only a mom.
My phone was finally quiet. My eyes were closing again. The coolness of the floor and door against my skin was comforting. I let my eyes close completely.
I was holding a little girl in my arms. She was wiggling to get free. I could see her dark hair and beautiful brown eyes. She looked up at me with the cutest smile on her face.
“Let me down, mommy,” she said with excitement. “I want to play.”
I put her down and she took off for the slide. She was up the steps before I knew it.
“Be careful honey,” I called out. “That's a big slide.”
“I'm a big girl,” she yelled.
I watched until she was back on her feet. She ran right back around and up the steps again.
“Watch, mommy,” she yelled out from the top.
I watched her come back down again. She ran over to me with such a happy smile, one I never remembered having for my own mom.
“I love you, mommy,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around my legs.
I leaned down and scooped her into my arms and planted tiny kisses all over her face.
“I love you, baby girl,” I said with a smile. “I'll always love my little Sammie. You make mommy so happy.”
My little girl wiggled to free herself again before running off to play in the sand. She jumped right in with the little girl and boy that were already playing there.
I felt like someone was there next to me. When I looked over, I gasped. It was Brad. He was right there. He looked exactly like I remembered. There was a huge smile covering his face.
“Brad,” I said. “Is that really you? I've missed you so much.”
“I've missed you too, Lucy,” he said before putting his arm around me. “You're an amazing mom. I'm so proud of you. You used to ask if I thought you'd be a good one. I always said you would. Look at you. Everything's going to be okay, honey. You're going to be great. You deserve to be happy. That little girl loves you. She always will. Love her even more than you loved me and she'll always know what a great mom you are.”
“I love you, Brad,” I said, as I turned to him, but he was gone.
I turned back to the little girl in the sand with the other kids. She was adorable and perfect in every way.
I jerked my head up when I heard a phone and quickly rubbed my eyes. Then I reached over and looked at the stick one more time. It still said the same thing. I got up from the floor and threw it away before making my way out to the living room. Then I grabbed my phone and sat down on the couch.
I was really going to have a baby. That was the only option for me. I just had to figure out how. My life was changing. I couldn't be the same Lucy I'd been. Things needed to change. I wouldn't let my child live a life that wasn't perfect. I'd wanted children before but had given up on the thought when I lost Brad. When we'd talk about my parents, he used to say “children don't ask to be brought to their parents. It's the parents' job to show them love. They are the ones that decided to have kids.” He was right. I wasn't protected that night with Lance. It was me that made that decision, and him of course. A child came out of that night. There was no going back for him to put a condom on. I never would have gotten pregnant on purpose.
I reached down and rubbed my belly. The little life inside of me was my responsibility. I was going to give him or her the best life I could. It might not include a huge house and a million toys, but it would include all the love and safety I could provide. It was time to make some changes. My days at the bar, picking up men and drinking, were over. There was someone counting on me, and I wasn't going to let them down. Of course I was so damn scared, but wasn't every mom at some point? I looked down at my belly and promised to be the best damn mom I could be.
I looked at my phone, ready to deal with what was coming from Carrie's mom. The poor woman was probably freaking out five or so hours away. When I turned it on, there was a text from Lance.
Hotshot: Good morning, Firecracker. How's work this morning?
I read the message again. I wanted to message back to let him know I hadn't gone to work. It took all I had not to do it. I forced myself to close the message and move on to the next one. That was Carrie's mom. There were a few of them asking if I'd gotten back yet and then letting me know I'd better call her before she got in her car to start the long drive. I hit call on her name and she picked up in one ring.
“Do not ever freak me out again, Lucy,” she said. “I will kick your ass just as I would Carrie's.”
“I'm sor
ry,” I said. “I'm freaking out too.”
“It's been an hour and a half,” she said. “What the heck happened to you?”
“I took the test,” I said in a whisper. “You have to promise not to say anything to Lance, Scott, or Carrie.”
“It was positive,” she said more to herself than to me.
“Promise,” I said.
“I would never tell anyone. This is your story to tell, not mine. I will be here every moment though. I feel like you're one of my own.”
“Thank you,” I said. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
“You sound better than you did earlier,” she said.
“I was freaking out and sat on my bathroom floor for like an hour crying. I asked myself all of the questions you would expect. How could I be so stupid? How can I do this alone? Will I be a good mom? I thought of them all.”
“What do you mean alone?” she asked.
“I mean be a single mom,” I said. “I can do it, Carrie did. I fell asleep while I was on the floor. I dreamt the baby was a girl and she was happy.”
“Please do not be offended when I ask you what I'm about to ask. I feel bad even thinking it.”
“Spit it out, woman,” I said.
“The baby is Lance's, right?” she asked.
“The sad thing is that you felt the need to ask.”
“I didn't mean,” she began, but I cut her off.
“I know that. What I mean is that my life needs to change. Carrie knows me very well, and she would have asked the same question. The baby is Lance's. You can't say anything until I figure things out.”
“Wait a second,” she started again.
“Let me explain,” I said. “I need to think this through. I never would have thought this was a possibility. I'd given up my thoughts of having kids. I need some time to let it sink in. I can't tell Carrie right now. She will tell Scott, and I can't blame her. He would probably contact Lance. You didn't hear him asking Lance questions at your house when we moved Carrie there. I have no doubt that he would call Lance. This is not something I want him to find out while he is out of town. Nobody else needs to tell him. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do. Do you think I could still move to Michigan?”
“What?” she blurted out. “Hold on just a moment. You are going to tell Lance, right? Are you seriously considering moving here? I thought you were completely against it. I know Carrie would flip if you moved here. She's already missing you. I would love to have you as well. Don't take it the wrong way. I'm just shocked you even mentioned it. You were so against it just days ago. I am also a bit surprised you would leave the state Lance is in. You know he can't move here.”
“I know that,” I snapped. “I don't want him to move there. I am going to think about all of my options and what is best for the baby. I'm not going to be with Lance. We've already talked about that. It's not happening. We both have our reasons. That is not something I'm even thinking about.”
“You two are something else,” she said. “You are both so stubborn and cocky. I can't imagine how you two even hooked up.”
When she that, I couldn't help but laugh as I thought about that night at the bar, the woman on his lap, the man outside with me, and Lance chasing him away. I'd just met him earlier that day. That's a story not to tell the baby. I could only imagine how bad it sounded. There was definitely a spark when it came to Lance and me. The second I saw him, I was very attracted to him. The moment we started speaking, it was intense. I'd never felt like that toward anyone before him. I wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp and rip his clothes off within seconds of each other. There was no denying that he was the complete opposite of Brad.
“Lucy,” Carrie's mom pulled me from my thoughts. “Do you want me to come see you?”
“No,” I answered. “I'll be fine. I just need some time to think about things. I can tell you that I never thought I'd want a baby. I've only known for almost two hours, and I already love the baby more than anything or anyone. That scares the shit out of me.”
She let out a laugh.
“That will never change,” she said. “You will always love them more than anyone or anything, and it will always scare you. It's the best feeling in the world, Lucy. Just make sure you enjoy it.”
“I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor. I guess I'll get on the computer to look up ways not to get sick too.”
Carrie's mom laughed again.
“Good luck with that,” she said. “I'm always here, Lucy. I can help answer any questions you have or just talk when you want to. I don't want to pressure you about anything. I'll even drive down to see you. Just let me know what you want from me.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I don't know how I would have gotten through today without you. You'll probably be tired of me before long. I really do appreciate how good you've already been to me.”
“I already told you that you're one of my own now,” she said. “It doesn't matter what time of day or at night, if you have a question or need anything, you call me. Don't scare me again. I'll kick your ass if you do.”
“I won't,” I said.
“At least you know something wonderful is going to come of the sickness you're feeling now. It's totally worth it.”
“I sure hope so,” I said. “Gotta go. Oh shit.”
I hung up the phone, threw it on the couch, and took off for the bathroom again. Once I felt better, I looked at myself in the mirror. I knew I looked like total shit. Then I looked down at my belly and smiled. I was surprised at the excitement and joy I was feeling in that moment, knowing there was a baby growing inside of me.
I grabbed my phone from the couch and walked back into the bathroom. Then I lifted my shirt and took a picture. There was nothing there yet, but I wanted memories to be able to show my child. There was no way they were going to find out how they were conceived. That was not a story for them.
I plopped down on the couch with my laptop and phone. The first thing I did was call to make an appointment with my doctor for two weeks down the road. I'd be right around eight weeks then. I had so many questions, so I reached over to grab the notebook on the table and a pen. I was going to make a list for the doctor, research, and Carrie's mom. I'd drank just before I found out and wanted to know that everything would be okay. When I looked down at the paper to begin writing, I burst into laughter. Staring back at me was the picture Lance had drawn of him on the pitcher's mound. I shook my head and turned to a clean page.
I began writing my questions down. The first being about the alcohol. The second about being sick. Then I pulled up my browser and starting looking for ways to prevent myself from getting sick any more than I had to. My apartment was so quiet that I turned on the television for background noise. When I heard the cheering and the announcer's voice, I looked up at the screen to see Lance, ready to pitch, with the most serious look on his face. The last time I turned on a game, I'd quickly turned it back off. It was time to see what all the hype was about. He was so into what he was doing. I don't think anything could have pulled him from his thoughts. The first guy hit the ball and ran. When the camera came back to Lance, I could see the aggravation on his face. It was something I'd seen myself before.
“Come on,” I said.
He shook his head and that same damn look of concentration was back. When he threw the ball again, I heard the crack of the bat. Then I watched Lance jump higher than I thought possible and come down with the ball in his glove. The guy was out. There was a look of total satisfaction on Lance's face, and I couldn't help but smile. I'd seen that look up close as well. He was right, his ass looked super sexy in those pants. Before I knew it, my eyes were glued to the screen. He really was amazing to watch. No runs had come in before the inning was over. There were two men on the bases, but he struck two other guys out. It made more sense than it had when I'd first turned it on.
When the game went to commercial, I got up and got myself something to drink and eat. I grabbed crackers, since
that was a suggestion on one of the web pages I'd looked at. As soon as the game came back on, I was right there watching. Lance's team did pretty good. One man was out before another ended up on a base. When Lance walked up to the plate with a bat in his hand, I found myself clenching my fists and feeling so nervous for him. He had the sexiest smile on his face before his serious face appeared. It was something else to watch him. When he swung and missed, I was yelling at the screen. Carrie's reactions were starting to make sense. I'd seen her get really pissed after she came back from a game. When Lance swung again, I wanted to shake him. He missed the damn thing again.
“Come on,” I yelled. “Hit the damn ball. Get your head out of your ass, Hotshot.”
I'd already put my laptop down on the table and was on the edge of my seat. When he swung and connected with the ball, I was up and yelling.
“About fucking time.”
The guys in the field chased after the ball when it hit the ground and rolled. By the time one of them threw it back, the one guy on a base scored and Lance was on second. Yes, I had the notebook in my hand and was using his drawing to know where he was. I'd never admit that to him though. The man's head was already huge. I wouldn't want him to get stuck in doorways or anything. He didn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing I was watching.
I watched the rest of the game, and I was completely into it. Carrie had text me, and so had her mom. I quickly answered Carrie that I was busy. Her response didn't take long at all.
Carrie: What is more important than me? How's work? Do they miss me?
Me: I called in. Still not feeling well. I'm watching television. What are you doing? How's James doing?
Carrie: What are you watching? I'm watching your boy play. He made it to second. James is doing great. He's watching the game too.
Me: He's not my boy and that was after two strikes.
I pushed send and threw the phone down before I realized what I had just done. My phone was ringing before I could figure out how to take it back. I wasn't paying attention when I'd sent the text. I grabbed the phone and answered it.
Playing Hardball: Part 3 Page 1
