“People who vacation in St. Tropez and shit. Who want to bring along their ‘regular guy’ as security. People who have business deals in Dubai, or who’re planning to spend a weekend on some movie star’s yacht on Lake Como or something … that’s the kind of motherfucking clients they have.”
“Why are you raising your voice, and … cursing at me?”
“So, with that kind of profession,” Jamal continued as though she hadn’t spoken, “you’re real careful when one of your client’s wife, or girlfriend or fiancée develops a little crush on you. You want to make sure there’s no misunderstandings, so you might …” Jamal’s casual shrug was a stark contrast to the anger in his eyes. “You might call the husband, or the boyfriend just to say, ‘Tell your fiancée that I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell her how much I enjoyed working for you both. Tell her I’m sorry I didn’t get to say a proper ‘goodbye’ and convey my appreciation. And tell her that I wish her the best of luck with her wedding.’ That’s what you might do. If you were Matthias Jackson. Just to make sure she understands that you’re not putting your very lucrative gig in danger for a little ‘thing’ with her.”
Makayla’s mouth fell open and she exhaled a sharp burst of breath. “Is that what you th …”
“What was going on between you and him?”
“Are you seri …”
“Yeah, I’m serious.” He was inches away from her now, and she could feel his body heat, like anger radiating off him. “What was going on that you would try to find him after I let him go? Huh?”
Makayla let her head fall back. She was still looking at the ceiling in disbelief, still shaking her head, when he grabbed her roughly by the chin, forcing her to look at him.
Shoving his hand away, she took a step back, and tears sprung to her eyes, out of nowhere.
“You think I would ever let anyone else touch me?” she demanded. “Do you think I could? All of me is yours. Isn’t that what you always say? And it’s true …”
She turned away from him, so he wouldn’t see that the tears had spilled out onto her cheeks. But she made it only as far as the sofa before he grabbed her arm, and pulled her back against him.
“I say it because I want it to be true. But it’s bullshit. I’ve never had all of you. It’s always been a threesome. You, me and Devin.”
“And so, what? Now you think I want to throw a fourth into the mix? Jackson? Is that what you really think?”
For a moment, he faltered, and Makayla saw his nostrils flare.
“You think I could be with anyone but you?” She grabbed the hem of his shirt, tugging on it, beseeching.
When she looked up at him, his eyes were unsure.
Jamal Turner. Uncertain.
It gutted her to see him look that way, and to know that she could be responsible for it. It gutted her, and it thrilled her; because it was her only advantage.
“I couldn’t,” she said, pulling him down to her. “I’m yours. I’m …”
And then, finally—after what had seemed like forever and a day—he was kissing her.
~28~
It had to happen, eventually. Because kissing her, was like taking a breath of air.
They grabbed and grappled with each other, moving things aside, peeling things off, and shoving each other toward the nearby sofa. Jamal thought they might have knocked something over, broken something. Something irreplaceable, but right now, irrelevant.
With both of them still partly-clothed, he pushed inside her, and felt her nails bite into his back, her legs hooked around his, and her warm breath against his neck. He held still after that first thrust, and caught his breath, lifting his torso only enough to look at her, not wanting to lose much more contact than that.
Kayla’s eyes were wide, with wonder, a little dazed, like she had forgotten just how good it could be between them. He hadn’t forgotten. It was what he thought about when he lowered himself into their bed, carefully, quietly, and usually well after she had already fallen asleep.
It was what he thought about when he woke early in the morning and had a few uninterrupted minutes of watching her, before he had to get up and prepare for his day.
It was what he thought about when they ate meals together, casually sitting across the table like roommates; until Kayla lifted a leg to rest it on a nearby chair. His eyes would follow its length, so that from then on, the things running through his mind were anything but casual.
And he thought about it this afternoon, when Jackson called. When Jamal heard him, with his obviously rehearsed speech, he had to consider that even though he knew nothing had happened between them; and even though Jackson and Kayla were just friends, there might come a day when there would be another man, someone else, who became much more than that to her. If they didn’t get their crap together.
Weeks of avoidance had gotten him nowhere, so it had to happen. And he let it, even though it changed nothing, resolved nothing, and only had the effect of pulling him back in.
Through the long, slow, deep strokes and the soft sounds she made as he moved inside her, he tried to remind himself of that: this changed nothing. But whatever his mind was saying, all his heart heard was Kayla’s voice, repeating, over, and over again: I’m yours.
“Wha’s up, Scout?”
Devin was already in his office when Jamal got there. He’d been in a meeting with the legal team when Gayle tracked him down to let him know that Devin Parks was in the building, and wanting to know whether there was time on his schedule.
Devin stood and Jamal saw him hesitate, probably unsure of what kind of greeting to give, and what kind he might receive. Moving in to give Devin some dap, and a brief hug, Jamal was surprised at the genuine pleasure he got from seeing the younger man look as well as he did, and from seeing him at all.
Devin had cut his hair, almost all of it, and was darker in complexion. His eyes looked brighter and more alert, like those of someone who had gotten an abundance of rest.
“You put some weight on you, man?” Jamal asked narrowing his eyes.
“All that Haitian food, from your boy Prentice’s moms. She keeps everybody fed when we down in the basement doin’ our thing. And I been workin’ out a little bit. Boxing.”
Jamal laughed. “Oh shit! Why didn’t I think of that? When we was on the road that time … that’s all you needed, with your high-strung ass. A violent outlet. Should I come spar with you? Work our shit out with the gloves?”
“I don’t think I want to spar with you,” Devin said, eyeing Jamal’s biceps. “But I did come to work our shit out.”
“S’down,” Jamal said, indicating the sofa. “Just tell me what’s good. I was just messin’ wit’ you. We ain’ got no shit to work out, man. We’re good.”
“How we gon’ be good when the last time I saw you, I …”
“Water under the bridge,” Jamal said, shaking his head. “I been hearin’ some good things about you. About your musical maturation process. And about your new ability to play well with others. Literally and figuratively.”
“I’m only as good as my collaborators.”
“What’s this? Modesty too, now?”
“I’m tryin’ to say somethin’ to you, man.” Devin’s face was serious now. “To come at you straight. For a change.”
Jamal shrugged. “Okay. Come at me straight. What’s up?”
“I’ve been thinkin’ about maybe doin’ a deal. Signing with a label.”
Jamal leaned back. “You got offers?”
“Yeah. Two.”
“Two, other than from me?”
“You haven’t made me an offer. I mean, you know, not since … way back when. And that was just …”
“So, lemme get this straight. You’re here to give me the chance to make you an offer?”
Devin nodded.
Looking down at his feet Jamal grinned. “Wow. That’s huge. You sure we could work together?”
At that, it was Devin’s turn to smile. “Nah. I’m sure we couldn’t.
I was thinkin’ I might work with Harper, though.”
“With Harper.”
“Yeah. She’s doin’ some good things with Prentice. I like the moves she’s making for him. And I trust her.”
“You trust her.”
“Yeah, man! I trust her. Why you repeatin’ everything I say?”
“Kayla tells me that’s a bad habit I’ve got.”
At the mention of Makayla, Devin’s eyes changed a little, but Jamal couldn’t read precisely what the change meant.
“You talk to her lately?” he asked.
Devin looked down. “Once in a while. It’s been mad-hectic, so we text … y’know. Just to keep up with each other.”
“You should stop by the house.”
“Not today. But maybe another time.”
“What’s goin’ on, Devin?” Jamal asked. “You ain’ been over there in a minute, she hardly ever brings you up …”
“That’s what you wanted, right?”
“No. That’s not what I wanted.”
“C’mon man. From the minute you and her got together, you wanted me gone.”
“That’s not true.”
Devin scoffed. “Man, I came at you straight. You need to do the same.”
“Devin …”
“Can I just take a moment to recognize that you just called me my actual name? Like twice?”
“Yeah. Duly recognized. But here’s the deal. I never wanted you gone. I wanted my girl happy. And she couldn’t be happy if you weren’t. She couldn’t be happy if you were fuckin’ up. And you just kept … fuckin’ up.
“So, I resented you. I was impatient with you. But I never wanted you gone. I wanted what she wanted—for you to realize and reach your God-given potential.” Jamal shrugged. “That’s it. That’s me, coming at you straight.”
“I want to work with Harper,” Devin said. “I feel like she can help me do that.”
“Well, lemme Bryant and our legal folks up here and we’ll see whether we can match, or exceed ‘em those offers you got.” Jamal reached for the nearby phone.
“Nah.” Devin stopped him. “Before we get the whole crew in here, I want to hear what you think, get your advice first.”
Jamal looked at him. “You do realize, I would be on both sides of the deal if I gave you advice, right? I mean, it’s in my interests to make the other offers look worse than what we’ve got goin’ on.”
Devin nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
“And you still want my advice?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Because I trust you, too.”
“Did that just happen?”
Robyn was still sitting on the sofa in Jamal’s office, after Bryant and Devin left, and Jamal was opposite her on his armchair hands clasped between his knees and leaning forward.
“That just happened,” he said, nodding. He almost couldn’t believe it himself.
“After all this time. We’re getting Devin Parks. Chris is going to just …”
“Knowing him he’ll just say something like ‘Took Turner long enough,’ or some smart-ass comment like that.”
Robyn laughed. “Probably. But that was just the cutest … the way he thought he could have me as his lawyer still, and you as his business advisor on the deal?”
Jamal shook his head. “Yeah. It wouldn’t have been cute if it was anyone other than us. With the wrong person …. Anyway, he’s new to all this.”
New, and naive. Devin’s tough-guy persona was convincing, but at the end of the day, as thin as rice paper. He could fight with his fists, and with his stand-offish demeanor, but only now was Jamal beginning to see just how vulnerable he was as well.
Now Kayla’s protective stance made a lot more sense.
“He seems to think you walk on water all of a sudden,” Robyn teased.
“I don’t know about all that, but looks like I’m not in the enemy camp anymore.”
“Oh, it’s more than that,” Robyn teased. “I kind of like that whole new big-brother-little-brother vibe you two have going on.”
“Shut up.”
She laughed, then shook her head in wonder again. “It’s a hell of a transformation. And I don’t think he’s going to get independent counsel to look over the deal even though we told him to, do you? I think he trusted your word that it’ll be good for him. At most he’ll probably just ask Makayla or something.”
“Probably.”
“So, how’s she doing?” Robyn asked. “With all the wedding stuff coming down to the wire.”
The wedding. The now-postponed wedding. But there was no way he was sharing that with Robyn. Not unless he wanted to spend the rest of his afternoon in an impromptu relationship counseling session.
“She had a planner, but got rid of her.”
“Oh no. What happened? Some of those people are the worst. So exploitative. They feed you recommendations of vendors who’re their friends, just to get kickbacks … I never use event-planners anymore. I just have Tracy and Riley help me. Riley has a great eye for kitschy, eclectic stuff, and Tracy is really anal about planning and organizing. With the two of them, I hardly have to do a thing except choose menus.”
“That’s what I was thinking at one point, about asking you three to help, but …”
“But what?” Robyn sat up, her eyes. “I would love to help! We would love to. Tell her to call me, and we’ll …”
“Nah, I think she’s all good now.”
“Okay, but if she ever needs anything, tell her to give me a shout. She should be wanting to come out to the house soon anyway, to look at the set-up and see where things are going to be, anyway.”
“I’ll let her know,” Jamal said.
“So, are you getting excited yet?”
“About what?”
“About wh … Jamal. Seriously. Getting married. Being able to say ‘my wife’.”
He had been excited. And he wanted to be again. If only he could convince himself that it was the right time.
After that day he confronted her about Jackson, they had gotten unstuck sexually, and were making up for lost time in that department, but as a couple, they still weren’t who they used to be. He’d gotten his woman back, a domestic partner back.
But he was still missing his best friend.
“Heard from Devin today?”
“Nope. Why?” Kayla sat up in bed, her expression anxious. “Did something happen?”
“Yeah, something pretty big.”
She froze, her eyes becoming even more fearful. “What?”
“Nah, baby. Good big.”
He noticed her eyes flicker a little at him calling her “baby.” Something unremarkable in the past, but not so much lately.
“What?”
“We made a deal. He’s signing with SE.”
Kayla’s mouth opened a little but no sound came out.
“He came by today, and basically asked if I was still interested, told me he had some other offers and wanted to know what I thought.”
“He never told me.” She finally spoke, but her voice was small.
“But it’s good. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s looked after.”
“Who’s going to be working with him?”
“He asked for Harper.”
Only then did Kayla smile. But her eyes were wet. She nodded. “What’d Harper say when she heard that?”
Jamal sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know. But she’d be stupid not to see this as good for her, too. With the weight we throw behind him, he’s going to be huge. And she’ll be a commodity too, in this business.”
“Professionally maybe, she might see it as a good thing. I don’t know about personally,” Kayla said.
“Why? I thought they were …”
“Not anymore.” Then she described her visit to Harper, and what was said, shrugging when she was done. “So, there it is. You’re not the only one who thinks me and Devin are … were too close for comfort.”
“Is that why you two haven’t been hanging out
as much? Because of Harper, and because of me?”
She shrugged again. “Yes, and no. We met, and we talked, me and Devin. And I think we … I mean, some of what you said was right. Most of what Harper said was right. And so we take a step back from each other and now, look at him. Moving forward, doing things that he probably never would have done if I was still standing guard all the time.” She gave a wry smile, and shook her head. “All this time I thought I was looking out for him, maybe I was stunting his growth.”
“Or maybe he’s just grown. And it has nothing to do with what you did, or didn’t do,” Jamal suggested. “You can’t make yourself responsible for everything that happens, or doesn’t happen in his life, Kayla.”
“Maybe.” She sighed, running her hands over her forearms like someone trying to get warm.
“Are you ever gon’ tell me?”
Kayla looked at him. She didn’t ask what he meant. From her eyes, she instinctively knew exactly what he was referring to. People didn’t do the things to themselves that Devin had done, didn’t act the way he did, without there being a story. And nine times out of ten, the story was an ugly one.
“Come closer,” she said.
He did.
“Closer.”
He slid in next to her and put an arm about her shoulders so she leaned against him, her head resting on his arm.
“It’s not that I wanted to keep things from you,” she said. “The ‘why’ of me and Devin. I didn’t want to keep that from you. It’s just that most of it … most of it’s not my story to tell. Not my life.”
“I hear you. But now his life is mixed up with your life. Your life is mixed up with mine. And I’m the only one who isn’t in-the-know.
“Maybe the ‘why’ of you and him would’ve helped me understand better, and give him some more slack. And give you some more … to be to him what he needed you to be.”
At that, Kayla turned to look at him, a new light of comprehension in her eyes.
“I never thought …”
“I know. And I know you didn’t keep stuff from me except to protect him. But the killing part … one of the killing parts, was that you didn’t trust me to get it. All this time, and you …”
The Takedown Page 26
