“You think she’s up to seeing something as emotional as tearing down the shops where David died?”
“If it hits her hard, I’ll help her deal with it.”
“Ah, so you’ll be on hand if she wigs out?”
“Wigs out?” Paul laughed. “Is that anything like YoMama from yoTV?”
Laughter escaped her as he quoted bits of an exchange they’d shared years ago when playing Scrabble. Suddenly uncomfortable for sharing a laugh with Paul, she cleared her throat. “I … I better go.”
“Just make sure to get only good news about Mary, okay?”
“I’ll do my best. Thanks.” She closed the phone. Paul loved board games like she did. Maybe one had to grow up Plain to appreciate those types of games, because Martin hated them. He loved computer war games, though, and television and movies, all of which he indulged in regularly while she was at school or work. But when she was home, their lives were so busy she rarely had time to notice something as unimportant as a board game. She slid the phone into her pocket and went to find Sarah.
After telling her about the events at the Esh place, Hannah walked with her across Yoder property to where Esh land began.
Sarah gazed into Hannah’s eyes. “When will I see you again?”
“I … I’m not sure, but you can use the Yoders’ phone shanty and call me anytime.”
Could her sister possibly understand how hard it was coming back to Owl’s Perch, even for just a visit?
This time had been a bit easier as a few more of her people seemed to be moderately accepting of her. But she figured each one who’d been more open this time knew the same thing Hannah knew; she’d never really fit in anywhere. Not as an Englischer or as an Amish. She was too much like Zabeth, unable to truly become a part of either world. But like her aunt, she’d made her choice. She’d fallen in love with a master of Englischers, Martin Palmer, and she’d live out her days with him. But she couldn’t keep going back and forth from one world to another. And that’s how it felt, like traveling to different planets with each reentry bumpy and heated.
Thoughts of building a life with Martin pulled on her. They’d make a good couple, and it’d give Lissa and Kevin a steady, loving home.
Sarah slid her arm around Hannah’s. “Can you come home over the Christmas holidays for just a day or two?”
She shook her head. “I’ll be in Hawaii with Martin and the children. He’s flying his top employees and a few friends there for a two-week stay.”
“Hawaii?” She stopped walking.
Hannah tugged on her arm, and they began again. “I’ll be back after the first of the year.”
The frown on Sarah’s face was deep, and Hannah wondered if this news was going to cause a problem for her.
She stopped near where the fields became the Eshes’ backyard. “It’s best if I go on back now. I don’t want to make Matthew’s parents uncomfortable by staying, and they aren’t the kind to ask me to leave.”
“Naomi and Raymond won’t mind.”
“Maybe not, but I’m not taking that chance.”
Sarah hugged her. “I’m sorry you and Paul argued, but I was glad you came barging into that meeting for me.” She released Hannah and took a step back. “You really have forgiven me … haven’t you?”
Hannah knew she had so much to learn about forgiveness that it might help her to go somewhere quiet and stay there until she understood the true nature of it. But clearly, learning didn’t come from time alone in prayer. It began there, and then it seemed it became perfected by messing up, digging deeper, and trying again.
Unable to answer her sister, Hannah gave her one last hug. “Go on. You have work to do.”
On the front porch of the Better Path, Hannah waited for Dr. Lehman to arrive. He’d called a few minutes ago to let her know he was close. Mary sat inside the waiting room with Lissa, but Hannah was hoping for a minute alone with Dr. Lehman. The rolling hills were ablaze in fall color, and the air carried the aroma of smoke from a fireplace. The peacefulness reminded her clearly that she was among the Amish.
Why had Paul decided to stay this close to Owl’s Perch in such a small, out-of-the-way clinic when his grades and abilities could allow for so much more? Martin would rather die than not use every ounce of his ability to increase his influence and standing in life.
Dr. Lehman pulled up to the clinic, and Hannah hurried down the steps to his car.
He turned off the vehicle and opened the door. “Hello.”
“Thank you for doing this.”
“This is easy, Hannah, especially with my seeing Mom this week anyway.” His voice carried more than just an I-don’t-mind-doing-this tone. He sounded pleased to do this for her. Passing her his briefcase with one hand, he grabbed his large medical bag off the passenger’s seat with the other. He got out of his car, pushed his glasses higher on his nose, and studied her. “How are you?”
The standard three-word greeting meant more than the simple question.
Hannah rubbed her fingertips across her forehead, wishing she had a more appealing answer to give. “It’s been pretty good. Better than the first trip.”
Dr. Lehman’s brows furrowed. “And?”
She dipped her head, sighing. “I still managed to blow up at Paul.”
“Mmm-hmm.” They began climbing the steps. “Was he innocent again?”
She rolled her eyes and gave a nod.
The gleam in his eye said more than the crooked smile across his lips. “I saw that side of you when we first met in the hospital and you gave me the dickens for wanting to turn you over to social services.”
“Was I that bad?” They stopped on the porch, outside the closed front entryway.
“You were pretty bold for a seventeen-year-old Amish girl who’d awakened to find herself in ICU. You thought I was wrong, and you weren’t afraid to say so … as respectfully as possible, of course.”
“So far in this with Paul, I’ve been far from respectful and the only one wrong.”
Dr. Lehman chuckled. “You’ll survive. And so will he. The way I see it, you were probably born for something that needs spit and fire once in a while. That’s bound to shake things up a bit here and there—nothing wrong with that as long as you’re either trying to do what’s right or willing to go back and make it right.”
She squeezed the handle of his briefcase. “My Daed would totally disagree with you … and can quote verses as to why and how your acceptance of my misbehavior is wrong.”
“Ah, well, that’s a debate I’ll never have with him. But we both know you’re God’s servant, Hannah, not your parents’.” He gestured toward the briefcase he’d passed to her. “I spoke with Mary’s doctors, but rather than tell you what they said, I’d like you to read the faxes they sent and sum up the diagnoses after her examination. Do you have a vial of blood, a urine sample, and a written report of her emotional state and vitals?”
“Yes. The blood and urine are in the lab, waiting either to be sent out or for you to run the tests yourself.”
He moved his medical bag to his other hand. “We won’t do anything so elaborate that we’ll need it sent out. If she doesn’t require immediate hospitalization, which I doubt, we’ll see to it that she gets a regular ob-gyn before the week is out.”
They went inside. Leaving Lissa in the waiting room playing with toys under Halley’s watchful eye, Mary, Hannah, and Dr. Lehman made their way up the steps and into the room provided. The exam didn’t take long, and then Hannah and Dr. Lehman went into the adjoining room—Paul’s office.
Dr. Lehman sat on the couch, waiting for her to read the chart. “In two sentences or less, summarize what it says, Hannah.”
In the overstuffed chair adjacent to him, she shifted. The odd feeling of sitting in the same chair Paul used while with clients made it difficult to concentrate. How had she landed in such a weird place in life? “The concerns are that what was done to stop the hemorrhaging inside Mary’s skull when she had a subdural hematoma c
ould blow out upon the increased intracranial pressure during Valsalva.”
“Which means?”
“The concerns don’t involve any health issues until time for labor and delivery.” Tears stung her eyes. “She’s in no danger.”
“Your medical advice?”
“She has to agree to go to a hospital and have a scheduled C-section a week or so before she could go into labor.”
“Exactly. I’ll find her an obstetrician who will take her on, but it’ll be your responsibility to make sure she follows through.” Dr. Lehman removed his glasses, looking at her firmly.
“Yes, absolutely.”
He replaced his glasses. “Define Valsalva.”
“It’s holding the breath and bearing down during labor and delivery.”
“Good. Now, in your opinion, why didn’t Dr. Hill or one of Mary’s other doctors explain this better to her?”
“According to the records, the doctor told her to come in for another CT scan, which she didn’t do. He explained that a pregnancy would put the baby in no danger, but labor and delivery would be very dangerous for her. The doctor could’ve been in a huge hurry and intended to explain more later on, but Mary never went back. Or maybe he didn’t think an Amish girl her age would understand anyway. But I think maybe her doctor didn’t approve of a teen wanting to get married, so he stayed vague on purpose. Which really irks—”
Mary tapped on the door and then entered. She looked from Dr. Lehman to Hannah, obviously hoping for good news.
Hannah clenched her lips and lowered her eyes to the open chart, trying to restrain herself. It wasn’t her place even to hint at the diagnosis. Professionalism at all times meant too much to Dr. Lehman, even today.
Dr. Lehman stood. “I’ll go to the lab and run the blood and urine tests myself while you and Hannah talk.”
He gave Hannah a nod before leaving the room.
Mary’s eyes bored into her. “Well?”
Hannah stood, closed the chart, and laid it in the chair. She took Mary by the hands, smiling so big her face ached. “You and the baby are fine.”
Mary engulfed her, clinging to her and crying.
“And you’ll be perfectly safe as long as you go to a hospital and have a C-section done.” After a long hug, Hannah removed Mary’s grasp and stared into her eyes. “You have to tell Luke. You have to be in a hospital a week or more before labor can begin and have a C-section. Do you understand?”
She grabbed Hannah and hugged her again. “I understand … the baby and I will be fine. I’ll do whatever it takes to stay that way.”
And right then Hannah knew every bit of what she’d been through to work under Dr. Lehman, go to school, and reenter Owl’s Perch was worth this one thing.
Hannah shifted gears as she entered the Yoders’ driveway. “If I leave for Ohio as soon as I drop you off, I can be there in time for class tonight or at least enough of it to get credit for being there.”
Mary rubbed her protruding stomach. “I was hoping you’d stay and answer Luke’s questions.”
“How badly is he going to take this?”
Mary leaned back on the headrest, closing her eyes. “How bad does any man take learning that his wife lied in order to marry him?”
“You lied?” Lissa piped up. “You’re not supposed to lie.”
Hannah tapped Mary’s shoulder. Mary opened her eyes, and Hannah pointed toward the fields behind the outbuildings. Naomi Esh and Luke walked toward them, coming from the Esh place. Luke’s clothes were covered in soot, and he looked almost too tired to walk. Naomi appeared rather worn-out herself.
Mary unfastened her seat belt. “Why is Luke coming back from work in the middle of the day with Naomi?”
“I didn’t want to ruin Luke getting to tell you first, but Kathryn organized a surprise workday.” Hannah set the emergency brake and turned off the car. “When are you going to tell him?”
“Soon, but not now. Naomi doesn’t need the stress of knowing what’s going on.”
Luke opened Mary’s car door. “Where have you guys been?”
“We’ve been at the Better Path,” Lissa offered.
Mary got out of the car. “I heard the good news. How’s the workday going?”
“Really good. But Naomi needs to borrow pitchers and sugar and … what else?”
Naomi held up a list. “If it’s in your pantry, I may need it.” She lowered the list and gazed at Hannah. A slow, gentle smile graced her lips, but she appeared speechless. Deep wrinkles now tracked her face.
Hannah forced herself to speak. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Naomi embraced her. “Denki.” She took Hannah by the shoulders and backed her up. “Let’s take a look at you, child. I’d heard you’d been here, but they said you were gone already.”
Luke shrugged. “I thought you had to leave in time for classes tonight.”
“Hannah,” Lissa called from the backseat.
“Oh, excuse me for a minute.” She opened the back door of the car and unfastened Lissa from the restraint, glad for the interruption. She placed Lissa on her hip.
Naomi stepped closer. “How’ve you been, Hannah?”
“I … I’m good.” What could she possibly say to sum up all that’d taken place since the day she’d left Owl’s Perch and Naomi had helped take her to the train station?
“I’ve prayed for you every day since you left.”
Hannah scooted Lissa to her other hip. “Thank you. I’ve needed every one of those prayers.”
Naomi tugged on Lissa’s shoe. “And who’s this?”
“Naomi Esh, this is Lissa Palmer. She’s … the niece of a dear friend of mine.”
With her entire hand, Lissa brushed strands of silky black hair from her face. “She and my uncle kiss.”
Hannah’s cheeks burned, and she bet her face was now quite pink. “Well, that does make him a good friend, doesn’t it?”
“I certainly hope so,” Luke added.
Naomi held up the list. “Do you remember Kathryn Glick?”
Wondering what Naomi must think, she managed to hold on to a sense of dignity. “Yes, I think so. I saw her at the annual school sales, right?”
“That’s right, along with hundreds of other unfamiliar faces. I think she’s a real treasure. On Friday she decided she wanted to surprise Matthew by pulling off a work frolic. She got the word out, but she didn’t realize how many supplies it’d take to keep everyone in drinks and food.”
Mary took the list and skimmed it. “Luke, maybe it’d be easiest if you hooked a horse to the small cart and used that to tote the items back.”
“Good idea.” Luke headed for the barn.
Naomi turned to Hannah. “You’ll come over too, won’t you?”
“I … I …”
Naomi slid her arm around Hannah’s shoulders. “Of course it’ll be hard, and some—only some, mind you—will whisper and wag their tongues, but it’s my house, and I’m inviting you.”
Hundreds of insecurities burned inside her head: her Englischer dress, her Kapp-less head, the ring on her finger, her hairstyle, Lissa in jeans and a sweater, explaining who Lissa was, finding the right words for each person, totally giving up on going to class this evening.
But how could she say no to Naomi? She’d lost so much, and if a visit from Hannah was what she wanted, Hannah wouldn’t deny her. Besides, Mary needed her too.
“Sure I’ll come.”
She turned to Mary. “By midnight.”
Mary nodded. “By midnight.”
Luke came up behind her. “What happens then?”
She jolted. “I thought you were getting the cart.”
Luke pointed to where the horse and cart waited to be loaded. “Are you two up to something?”
“These two?” Naomi smiled. “Never.”
Luke looked doubtful and glanced from Mary to Hannah.
Mary motioned toward the house. “Let’s get the stuff on the list.”
They loaded the
items into the cart, and while Luke walked beside the horse, Lissa held the reins and drove the wooden rig across the bumpy fields. Hannah’s mouth was dry, and her insides felt far colder than the nippy October air, but this seemed to be the right thing to do. She sat on the bench between Lissa and Mary, not at all sure riding in this jarring rig was a bit easier than walking. It was easy to understand why Naomi had insisted on walking. They crossed the knoll and soon were entering the Eshes’ backyard.
Dozens of men in straw hats, broadcloth pants, suspenders, and work gloves knocked down beams with sledgehammers and hauled burned timbers to the back of a large wagon. There were a few Englischers among the mix: Russ Braden and Nate McDaniel, drivers for the Amish, and Hank Carlisle, the milk pickup man. All of them knew her and her past.
Long tables covered in sheets were set up end to end across the flattest part of the yard, and there the large gathering ate their lunch and supper. The women served the men first and waited on them. After the men left the tables, the women would serve the children and then themselves. Staring straight ahead, she tried to brace herself for the afternoon. It wasn’t that anyone would physically lay a hand on her, certainly not. They probably wouldn’t even question her directly or share their opinions. But she’d get looks and whispers, and when the work was through, they’d get into their buggies or cars and not hold back sharing their thoughts. She’d like to know why something that toothless took so much strength to face.
Hannah viewed the burned shops again. Matthew had added several new ones during the time she’d been gone. Through a rickety, half-standing wall of an almost dismantled shop, she caught a glimpse of a broad-shouldered man helping carry a load-bearing beam.
Paul.
A dreamlike feeling engulfed her again. Luke led the rig around to the front yard, and Sarah came into view, dumping trays of ice into a cooler. Hannah stepped out of the cart and helped Lissa down while Luke did the same for Mary.
Mary beamed up at her husband, placing her palm on his cheek. “I love you.” She whispered the words, but Hannah heard the joy in her voice that Mary couldn’t yet explain to her husband.
Sisters of the Quilt Page 81
