by L. P. Maxa
I picked up my phone and shot Payton a text. Sometimes I’d catch her when she was still awake, when she was on call at the hospital.
Me: You awake, you sexy little nurse, you?
I took a small sip from the glass of whiskey that was sitting on my nightstand. No banging? Might as well have myself a little cocktail and chat with one of my favorite people.
Payton: I’m awake. And not feeling very sexy at all. A preemie pooped on me three hours ago and I just now got to take off that scrub top.
Me: So, what you’re sayin’ is, you’re naked.
Payton: No.
Me: Can you just say yes? Just pretend that you are? Hold on, let my close my eyes. I think I can still conjure a pretty good image of you in the pool.
Payton: Stop it.
Me: In the shower.
Payton: Don’t do it.
Me: My bed.
Payton: Why am I the only one-night stand that has continued for ninety odd nights?
I laughed at her response and then hit her name in my favorites list.
“You’re not like other girls, are you?” I spoke as soon as she picked up, smiling through my words.
“What makes you say that?” She sounded like she was lying down. You could always tell that in a girl’s voice. She was probably in the on-call room on a crappy mattress with rough sheets.
“We hook up, you leave even though I ask you to stay. And now, you act like being my friend is a chore, not a privilege. There is no jealousy. Are you immune to the Maxwell charm? That can’t be possible.”
“We hooked up. I agreed to one night, and you gave it to me—”
“Five times.”
“Yes, Mason. Five times.” I knew her eyes were probably rolling. “I like being your friend, way much. But no, you’ll never see me bowing at your feet or begging you to sign my bra. As far as the jealousy? What would be the point?”
“You’re a special girl, Payton.” She didn’t take my shit, and she didn’t give me any either. Some guy was going to win the lottery with that girl.
“Yeah, well, you’re pretty all right yourself.” She sighed. “Speaking of, why are you alone tonight, friend?”
“Oh man, wait until you hear this story.”
I went into detail about the chick that had to be dragged out of my room, and about her creepy tattoo. I told her about talking to M Kat and my dad earlier and how they asked me to be in the delivery room. We talked about her brothers, particularly the one who couldn’t stay faithful. She bashed him and I dubbed him my hero.
By the time we hung up she was falling asleep and my glass had long been empty. I put my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling. I enjoyed talking to Payton. And even though it’d been months, I could still remember how much I’d enjoyed fucking her too.
One day, too soon, she was going to find a boyfriend who wouldn’t tolerate our middle of the night phone calls. And that day would suck a little.
Chapter Seven
Mason
Before
“Dad? Holy shit what are you doing here?” I crossed the backstage area and threw my arms around my old man. I hadn’t seen him in five months. M Kat was eight months along and I was shocked he had left her home alone.
“Well, Kate convinced me that I needed to come see one more show before our little girl was born. Said we wouldn’t get a chance to be alone like this for a while.” He shrugged. “So here I am.”
I kept my arm around his shoulders as I steered him toward the exit, a gaggle of security following our every move. “I’m so glad you came.” I winced. “Sorry it’s to be in such a boring city in the middle of nowhere though. I’m afraid there isn’t much to do here, believe me, I checked.”
He laughed and squeezed me tighter, making the air whoosh out of my lungs. “I’m flying home first thing in the morning. I was afraid to leave Kate for too long. So how about a few drinks at the hotel bar?”
I nodded, climbing into the waiting Tahoe parked right outside the back entrance. “Sound’s perfect.”
***
We were each about three drinks in, laughing and falling all over the bar in the tiny little hotel lobby. The gig I’d had tonight was mainly for charity, and the accommodations weren’t the best. But having my dad here was so fucking fantastic. I’d missed him over the last few months and I knew M Kat was right. After the baby was born, he wouldn’t be able to jet off to meet me like this. I wouldn’t want him to. My baby sister deserved the best, and I’d make sure he was nothing less when it came to her.
“Hey, old man, your phone is blowing up.” I pointed to my dad’s cell with the whiskey glass in my hand. I smiled when he smiled, seeing M Kat’s face on his screen.
“Hey, baby. How are you doing? Everything okay?”
“Everything is great, Johnny.” M Kat laughed a little. “In fact, I’m here having some dessert with Payton.”
I rolled my eyes and let my head fall to the bar top. Here we go again. M Kat was constantly trying to push us together. Hell. Not just push. Smash. She was trying to smash us together. “Hey, ladies.”
“Hey, friend.”
“Would you please stop being such a creeper? Stalking my mom is a little much, Payton.” I grinned, waiting for her response.
“Says the rock star that calls me every time he feels lonely. Geez, talk about a creeper.”
“Yeah, yeah. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you didn’t hear from me every few days.”
She snorted. “We both know you’re the one who sits and stares at your phone, silently pleading with it to ring.”
I threw my head back, letting out a snarky laugh. “You caught me. I have no screaming fans, no adoring public, no job to do, nothing other than waiting to be your callboy.”
She giggled and I tried not to love the sound. “Callboy? I’m pretty sure you just referred to yourself as a prostitute.”
My dad put his face closer to the phone. “If the shoe fits. Am I right?” He started cracking up at his own joke and I knew both Payton and M Kat were joining him.
I knocked him lightly with my shoulder. “Whose side are you on, old man?”
“The pretty ladies. Always the pretty ladies.” He took his phone from me. “Kate, I’ll call you before I go to bed.”
“Okay, love you.”
“Love you more, baby.” My dad’s voice took on this softer tone when he was telling M Kat he loved her. Like his words were reverent and special.
He ended the call and then turned to me, his eyebrows raised. “What was that?”
I finished off my third drink, crunching on the ice. “What was what?”
“You just flirted with Payton over the phone. You like her.”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I like her, she’s a cool chick. We banged, had a good time, and now we’re friends.”
He turned more toward me, his hands on his hips. “You bang a lot of chicks, and I’m sure a bunch of them are cool. But I’ve never heard you even speak to a girl on the phone. It was text or nothing. And you two sound like you talk all the time.”
I held my hands up, like I was warning him off. “It’s no big deal, okay? Payton and I are just friends. I’m not ready to settle down. I’m not ready for kids and a wife and a stationary life. I’m young. I want to live. I want to perform and fuck and drink and dance. And Payton? Payton is the girl you marry, you know? Timing just wasn’t on our side.”
“So you’ll stay friends for a while. Have some fun, and then settle down with your dream girl. I’m sure she’s not quite ready yet either.”
I scoffed. “Please, by the time I’m ready to be a father, Payton will have a husband, three kids, and goldendoodle.”
He shrugged, pursing his lips. “You never know what the future might bring, punk.”
Chapter Eight
Mason
After
It was the phone call I never expected. The one thing I could never in a million years have predicted, anticipated, or prepared for. Bu
t that thirty-second phone call changed my life forever.
I walked into the hospital, frantic and out of breath. It’d taken me four hours to get home. I had to book and catch a flight from Dallas, which was where I was supposed to be onstage. Right this very second. I was supposed to be hearing fans scream my name, not doctors getting paged over an intercom. I knew from the phone call that I needed to head to the NICU. That was where my baby sister was, the neonatal intensive care unit. And she was there alone.
Because my dad and M Kat had died in car accident.
I’d talked to them this morning. It was their anniversary. They’d gone to dinner together. I’d called ahead to their favorite restaurant and paid for their meal. I ordered my dad’s favorite wine and made sure that M Kat got one of every dessert on the menu. It had been the last meal they’d ever had.
My whole body was shaking. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it. “Excuse me. I need to get to the NICU.”
The nurse at the station looked up from her computer, and her eyes narrowed when she took in my appearance. I hadn’t change. When the phone call from hell came through, I was in my dressing room. I’d just finished a sound check, which meant I was wearing ripped jeans and a ratty old concert tee, and my hair was a wild mess.
“Hello? The NICU?” I slammed my hand on the counter. I wasn’t sure why I was acting this way, angry. I didn’t feel angry. I felt scared and alone and shocked and heartbroken, but not angry. Not yet.
She pointed behind me. “Fifth floor.”
I sprinted to the elevator and hit the call button twenty times in a row, like that would make the damn car come any faster. I needed to get upstairs. I needed to get to my little sister. She was all alone in this world.
When the doors to the elevator closed I lost it for a second. For the first time since I’d learned that my father and the woman I’d considered my mother were gone, I was by myself. There were no assistants or managers, no fellow passengers or cab drivers. There was just me, in this tiny cold space with two more floors to go until I met my sister. I let a few tears escape, quickly wiping them away when I heard the ding letting me know I had arrived at the fifth floor. Letting me know it was time.
Another floor full of busy people, another desk, another nurse. “I’m looking for my sister, I was told she was here.”
“Name?”
My blood ran cold. She didn’t have a name. She’d never met her parents. They’d never had the chance to pick one out. And now they never would. “I, uh, I don’t know her name.” My voice sounded shaky.
The nurse looked up, eyebrow raised. “Last name? Do you know her last name, son?”
“Cadence.” M Kat had taken my father’s last name when they’d gotten married. I assumed that would be the baby’s last name was as well.
She looked at a computer screen, then pointed to the left as she said, “Go down this hallway and hang a right. Then it’s the first door on your left. I’ll let them know you are on your way.” I turned away, but stopped when she added, “I’m so sorry about your parents.”
Word traveled fast. I’d kept my phone turned off after I booked my flight. I knew I’d have a bunch messages waiting for me. My agent, my father’s agent. I was sure his sudden death was all over the news. Social media. I was sure the whole world was mourning him. Saying what a shame it was, how the good ones always died too soon.
I’d get a million emails, a trillion interview requests. They’d want me to make a statement and plan his funeral. Plan both their funerals.
M Kat didn’t have any family. She was an only child and I’d never once heard her talk about her parents. It was going to be the four of us. And now, we were back down to two.
I pushed open the heavy metal door. “I’m Mason Max…I’m Mason Cadence. I’m looking for my little sister.”
The whole room went silent and still. So they all knew. They all knew that my father and M Kat were gone, and that my tiny preemie of a baby sister was an orphan. Someone came up and put their hand on my back. “She’s right over here, Mason.”
I whirled around at the sound of that sweet voice. “Payton?” I knew tears were streaming down my face now, but I didn’t care. I was just so damn glad that she was here. “Fuck. I don’t know…I can’t…” I buried my head into her neck, letting her wrap her arms around me. It felt so good to be held by her. To know I wasn’t alone. That the baby hadn’t been alone.
Eventually she pulled back and turned me to face a tiny pink bundle in a clear plastic tray. “You be here for her, and I’ll be here for you. Okay?” She rested her chin on my shoulder for a minute, staring with me at the baby.
I let out a sigh, nodding my head and so damn grateful. Everything was so surreal. I was numb and hurting at the same time. The only thing that made sense was the small baby lying before me. There was a lamp over her, heat and light radiating out. And she had a bracelet on one ankle and some kind of wire coming off the other. She was only wearing a diaper and she had sticky pads on her chest. “Can I touch her?”
“Of course you can.”
I reached down and put my finger in her small fist. She tightened her hand in her sleep and my heart melted. “Hey, little girl.”
Payton put her hand on my shoulder. “Here you go, Mace, why don’t you sit down with her for a bit?” She guided me into an ugly light tan leather glider.
I didn’t let go of the baby’s hand. I was all she had in this world, and vice versa. “Is she okay? Healthy?”
“She’s small, she only weighs a little over five pounds. But she was born at thirty-five weeks, so she’s actually a great size. She’s eaten. Her vitals are great. The only reason she’s in here is because…uh, well—”
“Because there was nowhere else for her to go.” I finished the sentence for her. I wanted to save her the burden of saying it out loud. Payton had cared about M Kat too.
This little girl would never know her mother, never know how she would light up when she’d feel a kick. Never know that her dad would get out this machine every morning so he could hear her heartbeat, recording each one. “What’s with the tanning bed she’s in?” My voice sounded strained, sounded foreign to my own ears.
“She was a little jaundiced when she was born. Nothing to worry about, it’s very common.” Payton’s voice was scratchy, like she’d been crying too.
“What now?”
“Well, she needs to stay here for a couple days. Gain some weight. See the pediatrician. But then you’ll be able to take her home.”
Take her home? Why hadn’t that thought crossed my mind? Who the hell else did I think was going to do it? Her parents were gone. I was her closest living relative. I was her big brother. Her irresponsible, man-whore of a big brother. “Is she going to wake up soon?”
“She should sleep for awhile, she just drifted off right before you walked in.”
“Are you still working?”
“I have another few hours on my shift tonight. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere, Mace.”
“I won’t try to pick her up or touch any of the equipment.” I didn’t want Payton to feel like she had to babysit me.
I wanted to cry, I wanted to wail. And I knew if I did that Payton would break down with me. Because she cared about me, and because she had cared about M Kat. We needed to get through her shift. I needed to get through my sister’s stay in the NICU. Then I needed to get home and lose my shit.
“You can pick her up if you want. You can rock her or sing to her. You can do whatever you want, Mason. She’s your baby.”
Sister. I wanted to correct her. She was my baby sister. But I knew that Payton hadn’t meant anything by it. I knew that she was just trying to help, trying to let me know that nothing I could do would hurt the baby. I held on to my little sister’s finger and closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted.
“I’ll just be making rounds. I won’t be far, okay? If you need anything, call my name.” She squeezed my shoulders and placed a kiss on the top of my head.
Payton
Holy fuck. I collapsed on my couch as soon as I walked through the door. Tonight had been one of the hardest nights of my life. And I was so thankful to have a few seconds alone in my silent apartment.
Kate and Johnny Cadence were dead. They were killed in a car accident. Their daughter was born via emergency C-section. I was there. I heard her first cries. I held her and cried right along with her.
I’d had to take a few minutes and compose myself. I knew if the hospital thought I was too emotionally involved they would have sent me home. If they’d sent me home, I wouldn’t have been there when Mason came in. When he walked into the NICU tonight, he looked like he was ready to break down.
His messy blond hair was matted on one side and his green eyes were bloodshot. He was pale and he was shaking. So different from the cocky guy I’d met all those months ago. The one who’s ripped lean body had hovered over me for hours.
I’d never had a one-night stand before. Never. But there was just something about Mason. I liked him, and I liked giving him a hard time. I enjoyed seeing him smile and making him laugh. I’d just finished nursing school and I wanted to cut loose. I wanted to do something young and foolish. So I’d said yes, when I normally would have said no. I didn’t regret it, not at all. Mason had become one of my best friends.
I’d just closed my eyes to doze for a few minutes when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. It took me a minute to fish it out. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, sweetheart, how are you doing? I saw the news. I’m so sorry about Kate, I know you two were close.”
I swallowed back fresh tears. “Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t know if I could talk without crying.
“Did Mason make it in? How is he?”
