by Lizzy Ford
“As long as it’s not after dark,” he warned.
“I remember,” she mumbled, flushing. “I won’t go in the forest.”
“It’s for your sake.”
Autumn sneaked a look at him. His eyes were on her.
“I’d welcome you with open arms,” he said. A trace of his hot-cold magick teased her as he held her gaze, starting a fire in her blood.
Recalling what Sonya told her, Autumn glared at him. “Me and every other girl in the Northwest. No thank you, Decker.”
“Open invitation.”
“If you ever decide to personalize that invitation to one girl, maybe.” She rolled her eyes then realized what she’d said. Where had that come from? “Not that it’d be me. Just …” she trailed off and stared at the forest, humiliated that she’d admitted she was interested in him. She had every reason in the world not to be and yet she was.
“I know,” he said softly. “That scares me.”
She understood why without asking. He’d loved once and lost her. He was afraid to take another chance. Compassion for what he’d endured took the edge off her emotions. She returned her gaze to his. Her talk of second chances must’ve hit him hard.
“Decker, I’m sorry,” she said.
“You’re sorry?” he raised his eyebrows. “For what?”
“I shouldn’t have said those things at the cliff about collateral damage and stuff. I didn’t understand why you hurt when I said them.”
“Someone told you about Summer.” His jaw clenched.
Summer. A prick of pain entered her temple. No wonder Beck and Biji had such reactions to her name.
“You still believe in second chances?” His voice took on a bitter note.
“Yes, I do.”
“I don’t.”
Autumn studied him. He was tortured by what happened. He hadn’t let his girlfriend go, and he hadn’t been able to live with what he’d done. She had the sense again that he didn’t talk this way with the other girls he seduced. He shared his pain with her, no one else.
“I’ve crossed the point of no return,” he added, pensive. “I don’t want a second chance.”
Was this meant for her? Autumn concentrated on placing her feet, face burning again.
“People who want to find their way back, will,” she said.
“You’re too sweet to know the truth,” he whispered. He shook off the melancholy. “But, if you’re right, you better be ready.”
It scared her to think he was serious. She wasn’t certain she’d be ready for him to claim her or even if that’s what he was talking about. Autumn drew a deep breath.
“Deal,” she forced herself to say. “If you make it, then okay.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have any idea what you’re agreeing to, do you?”
“Not really,” she admitted. “I don’t think you’d take me up on it anyway.”
“You like to play with fire.”
“I believe in you.”
“I have no idea why.”
She shrugged, perplexed. “I’m not sure I do either. I shouldn’t. Maybe I’m afraid if you fail, I might eventually, too? Sounds so lame, doesn’t it?”
He said nothing. She didn’t dare look at him, not with her sudden self-consciousness. She wanted to hide. She trained her eyes on the ground in front of her, needing an excuse not to talk or look at him. They walked in silence for what felt like forever. He spoke after a lengthy pause.
“You made it.”
She looked up. A smile spread across her face as she realized they’d passed the main house and were standing at the corner where the dorms started.
“I did,” she said. Turning around, Autumn took in the distance she’d walked without her cane. “Wow.” She was hurting, but she’d done it.
She felt the air shift around her. The magick turned fearful. It had last been afraid on the cliff, with the unnatural presence. Her breath caught as she turned. It was his body, but the darkness peering from his eyes wasn’t him.
“No!” she breathed. Autumn closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his face. Fire shot through her. It wasn’t his seduction fire but something else entirely, a danger that set off alarms with her magicks.
She expected whatever it was to push her away. Instead, Decker’s eyes closed. His body shuddered and his head dropped until his cheek rested against her temple. The tension melted from his frame. For the first time since they’d met, he was yielding to her instead of the other way around.
The danger was gone.
Chapter Twelve
The Darkness snatched Decker, perhaps sensing his growing distress with how much he wanted Autumn. Bartholomew had been screaming at him the entire time he’d been walking with her, telling him to leave. Lately, Decker sensed the ancient Dark Master - the last who’d surrendered to the Darkness – didn’t like Autumn at all. What was one frail girl to the Darkness, when Decker had already made his decision and started down the path to surrender?
Autumn pushed the Darkness back with her simple touch. Bartholomew’s voice was silenced by her actions, along with those of everyone else. Decker let himself dwell in the strange sense of peace. Her fingers were cold from the weather, her scent a mix of snow and woman. The warmth of her body made his too aware of how close she stood. Her breathing was uneven as first the Darkness then his own magick raced through her body. If he let himself, he’d barely have to move to bring their bodies together.
“Why did you do that?” he asked.
“I…I’m not sure.”
The mysterious, fleeting sense had been there when they met at the cliff and at the football game. It was present several times along their walk. He was able to identify it now as profound confusion. How did she seem so lost yet so aware? Despite the pain she battled, she’d seemed more in control of her world and life than anyone he’d ever met, save his father.
He was struck by the idea that her bravado and self-control stemmed as much from discipline as it did from the need to stabilize a world that wasn’t entirely hers. Not understanding the source of her confusion, he also didn’t understand how her responses to him were often instinctive.
“I think I didn’t want you to leave,” she said.
The sense of confusion faded. He’d never had a reason to pry at what was behind her tough façade. Without Bartholomew and the other voices, he heard own instincts for the first time. They insisted he needed to know more. Decker expelled his magick into her to identify what was hidden in the depths of her mind. Not only was it inaccessible, it was blocked – by magick. How had she found a way to lock her mind away from a Dark Master?
His push brought her fresh pain the in the form of a headache. He stopped and soothed it.
“You shouldn’t do that,” he told her firmly. “You can’t face what I am.”
At least she had the sense to fear the Darkness. Decker opened his eyes and took in the flush on her face. Her pupils were dilated and her breathing growing more irregular. She was fighting the pull of his magick. He’d made every effort to restrain it before appearing on the driveway, but she couldn’t resist it when it was flowing through her.
“You have about five seconds until you’re mine,” he warned her.
Her eyes flared with desire but also awareness. Autumn lowered her hands from his face and took a step back. Her body was trembling, as much from exertion as his magick.
At once, the cacophony of voices and spirits of others flooded his mind. For a long moment, he wasn’t able to focus beyond it. He struggled to conquer the insanity in his mind. Bartholomew was one of the voices yelling, but his words were too loud to make out. Decker drew a deep breath and forced his attention outward. It was growing harder to exist in the outside world.
Autumn’s concerned blue eyes arrested him, tugging him out of his mind.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t be,” he replied. He studied her, unable to determine how she’d accessed the depth of magick she’d ne
ed to block him.
She deceives you, Bartholomew told him, his words piercing through the noise. Did I not warn you?
There was no deception or malice in Autumn’s gaze. Then again, Decker wasn’t able to see the rest of her mind. He’d never been able to read her soul, and he was suddenly wary of the girl who withheld so much and had such control over him with her touch.
That was Bartholomew’s thought, he told himself. He knew how sweet the girl before him was. If he had another chance, it’d be with her. He hadn’t been joking, and she’d made a deal with him without understanding it’d cost her everything – mind, body, soul – if he did take that step.
You betray Summer and endanger Autumn if you do, Bartholomew reminded him.
Guilt swept through Decker. He’d already promised himself to Summer and now, to Darkness. There was no room for Autumn, and he’d never do anything to place her in danger.
“Thank you for walking with me,” she said at the long silence. “I’m not sure I would’ve made it otherwise.” The words were hard for her to say, and her gaze dropped to his chest as she said them.
“Yes, you would’ve,” he disagreed. “I know that the same way I know you’ll run again one day, too.”
She cleared her throat and looked at her feet. He saw the smile on her face. He hadn’t seen this unguarded expression before. She was happy.
He almost felt good.
The Darkness didn’t like it. It was at the edge of his mind, ready to claim him. Dusk had fallen as they stood talking. It was time for him to prepare for his nightly hunt anyway. More souls went bad in the middle of the night than any other time.
“I’ve gotta go,” he said, moving towards the forest.
“Good night, Decker,” she called after him.
He didn’t respond. The minute he set foot in the forest, Bartholomew began railing on him for talking to her at all. Decker gripped his head. He made it back to his dorm room before the Darkness took over.
This time, it kept his body for the longest time yet. He sank into the comfortable nothingness of his mind, unaware of time or emotions or pain.
When it released him, he was in his bed sometime the next afternoon. His phone was ringing. He heard it without knowing where it was. Darkness released memories into his mind, gleefully sharing with him the slaughter from the night.
He pushed himself up, half-interested in how many had been killed. He grabbed at the clothing slung across the bottom of his bed to find the phone.
Fifteen souls, all Dark.
Decker paused. It was more than he expected, but not yet enough, or he wouldn’t have left the safe place in his mind. Another day, another chance he saw Autumn again, even when he wasn’t sure he wanted to. The guilt of wanting to see her made him feel worse than anything he’d done.
Soon it will claim you, Bartholomew promised.
His phone started ringing again. Decker dug through his jacket and pulled it free. Beck was calling. Decker rejected it. His twin had called half a dozen times and also sent a text.
You were supposed to back off my “blondie” said the text.
Decker suspected his brother hadn’t left her unguarded while running off to screw his latest blond girlfriend. Someone dimed him out. He wanted to tell Beck to go to hell, that he’d claim Autumn if he wanted.
Some part of him knew he’d made the deal with Beck for the same reason he’d agreed to walk away from Autumn after their kiss. He was bad news for her. What happened if the Darkness finally consumed him when he was around her?
As long as Beck wasn’t after her, Decker was able to compromise with his own desire. After all, he didn’t have much longer. When he was gone, Beck could have her. He just couldn’t live with seeing her with Beck now.
Won’t happen again. He texted back to his twin.
Beck’s response was quick. Don’t come Thursday or our deal is off, and she’s mine.
He made the decision easy for Decker. Pissed and determined to put Beck in his place Thursday, Decker tossed the phone onto his jacket and strode to the bathroom. He smelled of sex and didn’t like it.
The shower wasn’t able to drown out the voices. The slap of another soul going bad hit him as he shut off the water. Infuriated at the thought of Beck and Autumn, Decker wrenched open the door to his dorm room. His eyes went to the bed, where Alexa and another girl with blond hair were. His gaze went appreciatively over the model-like body of the blond before realized Alexa was going through his phone.
“What’re you doing?” he demanded, going to his closet.
Startled, Alexa dropped his phone and rolled away.
“Nothing,” she mumbled. “Are you leaving again?”
“Yeah.” Blowing out a sigh, he concentrated on dressing instead of the hammering in his head.
He didn’t deserve Autumn any more than he did Summer. His movements grew more deliberate. He knew Beck was right.
“About what I told you last night,” Alexa said.
Unaccustomed to any of the girls he slept with actually talking to him, Decker paused.
“You’re really okay with it?” she asked. “I know I apologized, but … you know.”
Decker sifted through the memories the Darkness shared with him. He saw the hours of sex and almost cursed aloud. Alexa had brought a friend this time: Dawn. He didn’t think Beck would care, but the girl was worse news than Alexa.
“If I was last night, I am this morning,” he snapped, wanting out of there.
“You didn’t seem like you last night.”
The Darkness had talked to her. Interesting. Normally, the Darkness just acted.
“Decker, I really want for us to be together again.”
“As long as you realize you’re one of a few hundred,” he replied. “I’m interested in you for the same reason I am every other girl.”
She was quiet for a moment. “I’m okay with that. I think you’ll change your mind, though. I mean, we were really good together. Maybe you just need to remember that.”
Months ago, Decker fooled around with Alexa to try to shake the draw he felt towards Summer. Dark and known for sleeping around, Alexa was the opposite of the innocent girl meant to be his mate. When he couldn’t fight the truth that his fate was with Summer, he’d left Alexa. He’d been Summer’s first kiss, the only guy ever to touch her.
Summer is gone. You are not. Grandpa Louis had told him.
Decker rubbed his aching head. He’d never be able to let her go or live down how much he’d failed, betrayed her. He deserved someone like Alexa.
With his back to her, he sat at his desk to pull on his boots. His shadows crept to her in an effort to figure out what she’d told him last night. The image in her head was of Tarzan, the deer Summer had nursed back from near-death. The fawn was seated on the rock in the clearing near Miner’s Drop, its leg in a cast. It was night time. Bothered by the image, Decker waited to see what the memory showed him.
Four Dark witchlings and three Light, Bartholomew-the-Terrible’s voice broke Decker’s concentration. Not sure if it’s enough for the Darkness, but you must claim them all.
Decker rose to obey. He crossed to the bed and swung on his jacket, tucking the phone into his pocket. Alexa was smiling at him hopefully.
“Do you still miss her?” she asked.
“Who?” he hedged.
“Summer.”
“That’s none of your business,” he said in a low, lethal voice. “In fact, you will never say her name again around me.”
The light in Alexa’s eyes faded with her smile. “She broke Dark Laws, Decker. Even I haven’t done that.”
He knew this. He still didn’t understand why she’d done it. Alarms went off in his head when someone broke the Laws, but he didn’t know how, unless he peered into their minds when he confronted them. He’d been too horrified to read her crimes when he discovered she was the one who broke both Light and Dark Laws. And then he’d shoved her off a cliff.
The circumstances around
Summer’s death had been declared forbidden for the students to talk about, under threat of expulsion. Decker had left the issue alone, unable to bear the thought of his Summer doing something atrocious. She was an angel in his eyes. He never wanted to think differently of her. If he decided to, he’d uncover what happened that night from the mind of Biji, who was present when he arrived to claim Summer’s soul. For someone who’d broken no Laws, it took effort or touch for him to filter through their thoughts.
“It’s good you haven’t,” he said calmly. “I don’t believe in second chances.”
“I know.” This was a scared whisper. “That’s why I wanted to tell you last night.”
It didn’t matter what she told him. The Darkness was going to claim him soon.
He grabbed his knife, his thoughts involuntarily going to Autumn. Of all the girls he’d taken to his bed the past few weeks, why couldn’t she have been one of them? He almost wished he hadn’t tried to behave himself around her. One night with her … the futile wish of a man on his deathbed.
She deserved better than him. The Darkness would save him from making the same mistake with her that he made with Summer.
Chapter Thirteen
Autumn’s second full day of school passed quickly. The half-day Wednesday was painless, as the school dismissed earlier than noon so students leaving for the holiday were able to make their flights before a snowstorm rolled in. After lunch, she found herself in the forest when the large flakes started falling, seeking the mysterious monster named Sam.
“Sam!” she called.
With brambles, downed logs, snow, tree roots and many other hazards, she needed her cane in the woods. She’d done well without it for a good six hours a day the past few days.
“Fine,” she muttered. “No one else is talking to me either.” She sat on a tree stump and watched the snow. She’d seen Beck at breakfast two days in a row. Aside from a friendly smile, he’d ignored her and been completely enamored with Tanya. Even Adam and Jenna were too absorbed with one another to talk to her, and Biji left the day before. Decker she hadn’t seen since their walk Monday.
