by Arianna Hart
“Coward,” Mary Ellen called after her.
It was early enough in the morning that the heat wasn’t overwhelming. Butterflies fluttered over the potted flowers on the edge of the patio. A small, gray bird splashed in the bird bath and others chirped in the bushes. Nadya tried to let the calm wash over her tumultuous emotions and soothe her frazzled thoughts, but it wasn’t really working.
This whole week she’d been pushing thoughts of her father away, telling herself she’d deal with them later. She’d skirted around the issues she hadn’t wanted to face and focused instead on the moment. At some point she’d have to confront all the crap circling around in her brain or it would come back to bite her in the ass.
Okay, she was a professional, she knew how to organize and deal with emotional issues objectively. First, she knew who her father was. How did she feel about that?
Angry. He was a selfish bastard. Just because he left her some money and some land didn’t absolve him of his guilt. He’d used and abandoned her mother, and she hoped he rotted in hell for it.
Okay, so much for being objective. Moving on. How did she feel about being back in Dale?
Conflicted. On the one hand, seeing Mary Ellen and spending time with her and her family had been great. She was head over heels in love with those boys, and she and Mary Ellen had picked up their friendship as if the ensuing years had never happened. She’d been surprised both at how sad she felt to see the town in decline and how much she enjoyed spending time with Opal and Jemma.
On the other hand, certain aspects of the town brought back a cold fury that wasn’t hidden as deeply as she’d thought. Much of her anger at the town had been for her mother. The absolute unfairness of Dale’s treatment of her mama infuriated her. When J.T. suggested her mama brought some of it on herself, Nadya thought she might have to kill him right then and there.
But was there a kernel of truth in his otherwise idiotic statement? Tala had encouraged the townspeople to view her as mysterious and foreign. Part of that was because she was a foreign entity in this white-bread town. But another part of it could have been a defense mechanism. Growing up, she’d been taught to distrust Outsiders. The gadzé were to be taken advantage of, or to make money off of. Living among them, she’d known she’d never be one of them, so why bother trying? And if it tweaked the noses of the proper ladies of the town, all the better.
Nadya heaved a sigh. There was no changing the past. She’d always hated people who blamed all their problems on their parents. It annoyed the ever-living hell out of her to hear people whine that they couldn’t make something of themselves because their parents were divorced or their father was an alcoholic or their mother abused them. She’d smugly thought about how she’d pulled herself up from poor gypsy trash to become a lawyer. If she could do it, so could they.
But how much baggage had she held on to? Hadn’t she had a chip on her shoulder about the town of Dale most of her life? Hell, she’d bought a freaking BMW instead of putting the money towards her college loans just to flaunt her success. Idiot. Look what that had done for her, creating a target for some asshole to hit.
She put her empty cup on the ground and wandered around to the boys’ swing set. Dale was Dale, just a small town in north Georgia. It wasn’t any more evil than any other small town. There were good people and bad people and some people who just looked the other way. If it wasn’t for people like the Farleys, her mother never would have survived.
Sure, there were people like the Campbells and Branson Taylor, but there were also people like Jemma whose father fixed their porch and put a new roof on their cabin for the cost of materials in thanks for finding Tommy. For all the men who tried to sleep with her mama, there were also men who treated her politely.
Damn, it was hard to let go of that image she’d kept in her mind all these years. Every time she’d felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work it took to get through law school, she’d motivate herself by thinking of all the people who’d doubted her. As time had gone on, she’d forgotten the teachers and other folks who’d encouraged her. She’d forgotten that the good times far outweighed the bad.
Which brought her to J.T.
Her stomach flipped at the thought of him. Was it really less than a week ago that she’d first seen him? She’d thought then the emotions she’d felt were leftover from when she was eighteen. When he’d pursued her, she’d been flattered and excited, and maybe a little intrigued about what could have been.
But what did she feel now?
Too much. Way too much.
Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered waking up in his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world. Yesterday at the park when he’d played with Hunter, it didn’t take much imagination to put herself there with him and a toddler of their own.
The fact that she longed for that image instead of running in fear from it shook her more than she wanted to admit. God, where had this come from? Sure, she’d thought she’d get married and have kids someday. But there was too much to do now to even think about dating seriously, forget marriage and a family. Back in New York, she had to work her butt off, not just to pay her bills, but to keep pace with all the other lawyers in the firm. Everyone wanted to move up the ladder, and you had to work twice as hard as the next guy if you wanted to stand out.
This was her first vacation since she’d graduated from law school four years ago. She’d worked sixteen-hour days, worked nights, weekends, whatever was asked of her in order to move up in the company. She had more lucrative clients now and didn’t live hand to mouth, but was she really living? Or just getting by? What was her goal? What was she working for?
Nadya pushed the baby swing and sent it gently swaying. If someone had asked her a week ago what she was working for, she’d have been able to answer without hesitation. She wanted to keep climbing up the company ladder until she was eventually a partner in the firm.
And then what? Have a house in Connecticut? A house that she’d never see because she’d be working sixty hours a week and weekends trying to keep her position? An empty house because she had no time to date?
But she liked her job. She enjoyed the challenge of manipulating a contract for her client’s best advantage. Trial law held no interest for her. She liked the intricacies of contract law.
And Dale didn’t exactly have a need for another lawyer in town.
What? Where the hell had that thought come from? Was she seriously thinking about staying in Dale? Panic crept into her brain. What were her emotions doing to her while her hormones were running the show?
Grasping the frame of the swing set, she clung to it for support. Her head was abuzz with conflicting thoughts.
Of course she was going back to New York. Her job was there, her apartment was there and she had friends there. She’d worked too hard to throw it all away.
Worked too hard for what? To continue working until she died of a heart attack at fifty? Alone? She had real friends here and a chance for more. Did she really want to throw that all away for a job?
But what if J.T. didn’t want more? He’d agreed with her when she’d insisted on no promises. He might just have wanted to finish what they’d started at the creek all those years ago. If he’d been anything like her, he had to have wondered what it would be like. Would she still want to stay in Dale if it wasn’t for J.T.? It was a question she just didn’t have an answer for.
As the thoughts in her head spun round and round, she caught a flash of light reflecting from the open kitchen window. The witch’s ball she’d given Mary Ellen sparkled in the sunlight. Nadya could see Mary Ellen washing dishes through the screen door. Bill came up behind Mary Ellen to rub her belly. The baby must have kicked because he jumped and they both laughed.
He put his mouth onto the great mound of her stomach and Nadya heard him say, “Hello, baby, this is your daddy.”
The wave of longing that hit Nadya almost brought her to her knees. She wanted what Mary Ellen had so much she could
taste it. A nice home, beautiful children and a husband who adored her. And it wasn’t like Mary Ellen had given up her job. She still worked and managed to balance a business and children. The two didn’t have to be mutually exclusive.
Unless you worked in a firm like Nadya’s.
God, she couldn’t think about all of that now. Quite simply, the whole mess scared her half to death, and she just didn’t want to deal with it. She’d had quite enough self-reflection for one day. Confronting her issues hadn’t solved a damn thing so she’d keep dancing around them for the time being, thanks all the same.
“’ti Nad! ‘ti Nad! Push me!” Hunter had managed to sneak out of the house—and his clothes—and held his arms up to her. His chubby little belly pooched out over his diaper, and his blond hair stuck up all over the place.
“I have a feeling your mama is going to be looking for you, little man,” she said as she scooped him up. He smelled like grape jelly and little boy. When she blew a raspberry on his belly, he laughed and kicked his legs.
“Swing me!”
“Yes, sir.” She buckled him into the swing that looked like his booster seat and gave it a gentle shove. Hunter clapped his hands and rocked back and forth, laughing all the time.
“There you are, you little devil. I went to get a washcloth to clean him up and he pulled a Houdini on me.” Mary Ellen joined her by the swing set, still holding a damp wash cloth.
“This one takes after you. He’s gonna give you a run for your money.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I was an angel.”
“Right. You were stubborn as a mule, and I thank God for it. Anyone less obstinate wouldn’t have stood by me all these years.”
“Hello, pot? It’s me, kettle, calling.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I have my own mulish streak.”
“And the Grand Canyon is just a ditch. Come on, let’s get this guy cleaned up. Bill wants to go over some of the stuff the developer won’t tell you, but you don’t have to do it if you’re not ready.”
Oh, yeah, the land she’d inherited. She hadn’t faced that either. Maybe working sixteen-hour days wasn’t so bad. It didn’t give you much room for introspection.
“No, I want to know all the facts. Hornblower will be back on Wednesday, and I’m sure he’ll want to get a feel for where I stand on the offer.”
“Where do you stand, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I wish I knew. I’ve avoided thinking about it.”
“I guess if anyone could make me not think about seven-hundred and fifty thousand dollars, J.T. McBride could.”
“You better not let Bill hear you say that.”
“Say what?” Bill asked as they walked into the kitchen. He nodded to the open windows.
“That I lust after J.T.’s body,” Mary Ellen said.
“You and every other woman in this town. I thought it was something serious.”
“I’m going to wrestle this guy into some clothes. I’ll try to keep the boys out of your hair for a while. Where’s Billy?”
“Looking for his Wiffle ball and bat. I told him we could play after I talked with Nadya.”
“Try not to break anything this time.”
Bill rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything as Mary Ellen left the room. He had three piles of papers in front of him on the table. One pile had colorful pictures in a glossy collage and the other two looked like reports in plastic covers.
“This,” he said, handing her the colorful pamphlet, “is the material Nokas is giving to the town council and the environmental groups and anyone who will listen. It shows models of the homes they are going to build if they get permission.”
Nadya flipped through the brochure and saw high-end appliances, granite countertops, hardwood floors, all in beautifully decorated rooms with lushly appointed furnishings. The specs called for four- and five-bedroom homes with three full bathrooms, including an optional Jacuzzi tub. On the last page was a drawing of the prospective neighborhood and lots.
In the picture, Deer Creek Road was wider, leading to a two-lane road that went straight through her—or rather J.T.’s—cabin. The creek wasn’t even shown in the drawing, but it looked like one of the lots had a potential house either on it or close by.
She forced back her emotions and focused on it objectively. What were the implications of such huge homes on the area? And did she even care?
“What would that many houses do for Dale?”
“How so? Ecologically or economically?”
“Personally. How does it affect you and Mary Ellen?”
He sat back and sipped at his coffee. “In the short term, it would be great for the store. All those workers need to get something to eat every day. The developer said they’d hire local labor, so some of the guys around here who’ve been out of work since the mill closed will have jobs again. More money coming into the town means more money spent at her store.”
“And in the long term?”
“Nadya, you live in New York City. You know the type of people who can afford those homes. Do you think they’ll be satisfied with what Dale has to offer? There are no restaurants, entertainment or shopping unless you drive into Canton.”
“But there’s plenty of real estate. If there was a demand for those shops, someone could fill the need.”
“Maybe. But for how long? How long do you think it’ll be before those folks in their big fancy houses stop enjoying being an hour away from all the conveniences they’re used to? A year? Three? Then what?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think they’ll either wipe the town center off the map and build a shopping mall or knock it down and build a four-lane highway. Either way, Mary Ellen’s store is gone.”
“What are those?” she asked, pointing to the other two piles of paper.
“This is a report by the environmental firm Nokas hired to evaluate the impact development would have on the ecosystem of the state forest.” He handed her a folder. “This is an independent evaluation the forestry service requested.”
“You don’t expect me to read these, do you? Can you give it to me in a nutshell?”
“It’s about what you would expect. Nokas’s report says the impact will be minimal. That there is enough viable forest for this area to be developed without eliminating any natural species. It mentions nothing about the impact of hundreds of people using a dwindling water table or creating that many septic tanks. Never mind the pollution from that many cars, and that’s after the diesel engines get through spouting their filth into the air.”
“And the independent report?”
“Basically says the water table can’t supply the minimum requirements for that many wells and the destruction of that many acres of forest will have a detrimental impact on both the wildlife and air quality.”
“How can they be so opposite?”
“Because it all depends on what factors you use to calculate the impact. And who’s paying for the report.”
Nadya put her head in her hands and moaned. “Is there anything else you want to tell me about this?”
“Just that when word gets out you have a say in this, the shit’s gonna hit the fan.”
“You mean with the environmentalists?”
“With everyone. Half this town thinks this development could be our salvation. More houses means more kids and more tax money so we could open up the school again. It also means jobs, and there are a lot of folks around here who need ’em.”
“And what does the other half believe?”
“Besides the environmental impact, there are some folks who just plain don’t like change. They don’t want to see Dale become part of the urban sprawl that’s steadily creeping out of Atlanta.”
“I really hate my father right about now. It’s like everything about him is somehow tainted. ‘Here, you can have your childhood home, but you’ll have to wade through a property war first to get it’.”
“It’s not all up to y
ou. The state is fighting it, and the town will have to vote on it too.”
“Then how can Nokas offer me almost a million dollars for the land?”
“It’s a drop in the bucket to them. They buy up property all the time in the hopes of developing it at a future date. If they can’t do anything with it, they’ll sell it off for a loss and take it as a tax break.”
“You seem to know an awful lot about this.”
“I made a point of researching Nokas and his practices when he first started sniffing around. I can’t say I like the man. He’s a tad too shady for my taste.”
“Great, something else to worry about. At least dealing with his ilk is something I’m used to.”
Bill laughed. “Yeah, you’ve been dealing with slimy characters like him all your life from what Mary Ellen’s told me.”
“I’ve had my share. But I’ve also seen some pretty great characters too. Mr. Farley for one.”
“I guess you’re right. I got lucky having him for a father-in-law. Not that he didn’t make me work for it.”
“You appreciate what you work for.”
“You must be talking about Daddy,” Mary Ellen said as she carried a clean and dressed Hunter into the kitchen. Billy tagged along behind her with an oversized, red plastic bat and a plastic ball the size of a grapefruit.
“Yup,” Nadya said with a smile. “Remember how he made us get twice as many driving hours in before he’d let us take the test to get our licenses?”
“How can I forget? He was nice to you. He used to clutch the chicken bar and slam on the imaginary brakes with me. He’d get me so nervous I almost drove into the garage door.”
“You almost drove into the garage door because the cross-country team was jogging by and you were checking them out in the rearview mirror.”
“I was not!” Mary Ellen protested.
“Son, I think it’s time we went outside and did manly stuff like baseball.” Bill herded little Billy to the back door.
“But not Hunter, ’cause he’s just a baby.”
“He can watch from the swing set.”
