by Holly Black
Page 4
Dimly, Matilda felt someone shoving her and someone else screaming, but it seemed distant and unimportant. Eventually the words became clearer.
"Stop,” someone was screaming. “Stop!"
Hands dragged Matilda off the girl. Her neck was a glistening red mess. Gore stained the mattress and covered Matilda's hands and hair. The girl coughed, blood bubbles frothing on her lip, and then went abruptly silent.
"What did you do?” the boy wailed, cradling the girl's body. “She's dead. She's dead. You killed her. "
Matilda backed away from the body. Her hand went automatically to her mouth, covering it. “I didn't mean to,” she said.
"Maybe she'll be okay,” said the other boy, his voice cracking. “We have to get bandages. "
” She's dead,” the boy holding the girl's body moaned.
A thin wail came from deep inside Matilda as she backed toward the stairs. Her belly felt full, distended. She wanted to be sick.
Another girl grabbed Matilda's arm. “Wait,” the girl said, eyes wide and imploring. “You have to bite me next. You're full now so you won't have to hurt me—"
With a cry, Matilda tore herself free and ran up the stairs—if she went fast enough, maybe she could escape from herself.
By the time Matilda got to the Festival of Sinners, her mouth tasted metallic and she was numb with fear. She wasn't human, wasn't good, and wasn't sure what she might do next. She kept pawing at her shirt, as if that much blood could ever be wiped off, as if it hadn't already soaked down into her skin and her soiled insides.
The Festival was easy to find, even as confused as she was. People were happy to give her directions, apparently not bothered that she was drenched in blood. Their casual demeanor was horrifying, but not as horrifying as how much she already wanted to feed again.
On the way, she passed the Eternal Ball. Strobe lights lit up the remains of the windows along the dome, and a girl with blue hair in a dozen braids held up a video camera to interview three men dressed all in white with gleaming red eyes.
Vampires.
A ripple of fear passed through her. She reminded herself that there was nothing they could do to her. She was already like them. Already dead.
The Festival of Sinners was being held at a church with stained-glass windows painted black on the inside. The door, papered with pink-stenciled posters, was painted the same thick tarry black. Music thrummed from within and a few people sat on the steps, smoking and talking.
Matilda went inside.
A doorman pulled aside a velvet rope for her, letting her past a small line of people waiting to pay the cover charge. The rules were different for vampires, perhaps especially for vampires accessorizing their grungy attire with so much blood.
Matilda scanned the room. She didn't see Julian or Lydia, just a throng of dancers and a bar that served alcohol from vast copper distilling vats. It spilled into mismatched mugs. Then one of the people near the bar moved and Matilda saw Lydia and Julian. He was bending over her, shouting into her ear.
Matilda pushed her way through the crowd, until she was close enough to touch Julian's arm. She reached out, but couldn't quite bring herself to brush his skin with her foulness.
Julian looked up, startled. “Tilda?"
She snatched back her hand like she'd been about to touch fire.
"Tilda,” he said. “What happened to you? Are you hurt?"
Matilda flinched, looking down at herself. “I?. ?. ?. "
Lydia laughed. “She ate someone, moron. "
"Tilda?” Julian asked.
"I'm sorry,” Matilda said. There was so much she had to be sorry for, but at least he was here now. Julian would tell her what to do and how to turn herself back into something decent again. She would save Lydia and Julian would save her.
He touched her shoulder, let his hand rest gingerly on her blood-stiffened shirt. “We were looking for you everywhere. ” His gentle expression was tinged with terror; fear pulled his smile into something closer to a grimace.
"I wasn't in Coldtown,” Matilda said. “I came here so that Lydia could leave. I have a pass. "
"But I don't want to leave,” said Lydia. “You understand that, right? I want what you have—eternal life. "
"You're not infected,” Matilda said. “You have to go. You can still be okay. Please, I need you to go. "
"One pass?” Julian said, his eyes going to Lydia. Matilda saw the truth in the weight of that gaze—Julian had not come to Coldtown for Matilda. Even though she knew she didn't deserve him to think of her as anything but a monster, it hurt savagely.
"I'm not leaving,” Lydia said, turning to Julian, pouting. “You said she wouldn't be like this. "
"I killed a girl,” Matilda said. “I killed her. Do you understand that?"
"Who cares about some mortal girl?” Lydia tossed back her hair. In that moment, she reminded Matilda of her brother, pretentious Dante who'd turned out to be an actual nice guy. Just like sweet Lydia had turned out cruel.
"You're a girl,” Matilda said. “You're mortal. "
"I know that!” Lydia rolled her eyes. “I just mean that we don't care who you killed. Turn us and then we can kill lots of people. "
"No,” Matilda said, swallowing. She looked down, not wanting to hear what she was about to say. There was still a chance. “Look, I have the pass. If you don't want it, then Julian should take it and go. But I'm not turning you. I'm never turning you, understand. "
"Julian doesn't want to leave,” Lydia said. Her eyes looked bright and two feverish spots appeared on her cheeks. “Who are you to judge me anyway? You're the murderer. "
Matilda took a step back. She desperately wanted Julian to say something in her defense or even to look at her, but his gaze remained steadfastly on Lydia.
"So neither one of you want the pass,” Matilda said.
"Fuck you,” spat Lydia.
Matilda turned away.
"Wait,” Julian said. His voice sounded weak.
Matilda spun, unable to keep the hope off her face, and saw why Julian had called to her. Lydia stood behind him, a long knife to his throat.
"Turn me,” Lydia said. “Turn me, or I'm going to kill him. "
Julian's eyes were wide. He started to protest or beg or something and Lydia pressed the knife harder, silencing him.
People had stopped dancing nearby, backing away. One girl with red-glazed eyes stared hungrily at the knife.
"Turn me!” Lydia shouted. “I'm tired of waiting! I want my life to begin!"
"You won't be alive—” Matilda started.
"I'll be alive—more alive than ever. Just like you are. "
"Okay,” Matilda said softly. “Give me your wrist. "
The crowd seemed to close in tighter, watching as Lydia held out her arm. Matilda crouched low, bending down over it.
"Take the knife away from his throat,” Matilda said.
Lydia, all her attention on Matilda, let Julian go. He stumbled a little and pressed his fingers to his neck.
"I loved you,” Julian shouted.
Matilda looked up to see that he wasn't speaking to her. She gave him a glittering smile and bit down on Lydia's wrist.
The girl screamed, but the scream was lost in Matilda's ears. Lost in the pulse of blood, the tide of gluttonous pleasure and the music throbbing around them like Lydia's slowing heartbeat.
Matilda sat on the blood-soaked mattress and turned on the video camera to check that the live feed was working.
Julian was gone. She'd given him the pass after stripping him of all his cash and credit cards; there was no point in trying to force Lydia to leave since she'd just come right back in. He'd made stammering apologies that Matilda ignored; then he fled for the gate. She didn't miss him. Her fantasy of Julian felt as ephemeral as her old life.
"It's working,” one of the boys—Michael—said from t
he stairs, a computer cradled on his lap. Even though she'd killed one of them, they welcomed her back, eager enough for eternal life to risk more deaths. “You're streaming live video. "
Matilda set the camera on the stack of crates, pointed toward her and the wall where she'd tied a gagged Lydia. The girl thrashed and kicked, but Matilda ignored her. She stepped in front of the camera and smiled.
My name is Matilda Green. I was born on April 10, 1997. I died on September 3, 2013. Please tell my mother I'm okay. And Dante, if you're watching this, I'm sorry.
You've probably seen lots of video feeds from inside Coldtown. I saw them too. Pictures of girls and boys grinding together in clubs or bleeding elegantly for their celebrity vampire masters. Here's what you never see. What I'm going to show you.
For eighty-eight days you are going to watch someone sweat out the infection. You are going to watch her beg and scream and cry. You're going to watch her throw up food and piss her pants and pass out. You're going to watch me feed her can after can of creamed corn. It's not going to be pretty.
You're going to watch me, too. I'm the kind of vampire that you'd be, one who's new at this and basically out of control. I've already killed someone and I can't guarantee I'm not going to do it again. I'm the one who infected this girl.
This is the real Coldtown.
I'm the real Coldtown.
You still want in?
A Reversal of Fortune
Nikki opened the refrigerator. There was nothing in there but a couple of shriveled oranges and three gallons of tap water. She slammed it closed. Summer was supposed to be the best part of the year, but so far Nikki's summer sucked. It sucked hard. It sucked like a vacuum that got hold of the drapes.
Her pit bull, Boo, whined and scraped at the door, etching new lines into the frayed wood. Nikki clipped on his leash. She knew she should trim his nails. They frayed the nylon of his collar and gouged the door, but when she tried to cut them, he cried like a baby. Nikki figured he'd had enough pain in his life and left his nails long.
