by ANDREA SMITH
Now it was my turn to shrug. “I dunno. I hear it’s kind of a new thing. I read in a magazine that lots of New Yorkers do it. Especially celebrities.”
“Hmmph. Figures. Yankees.”
“Listen,” I said, getting up. “I have to get supper started. Try not to make this your problem, Gina. I mean I know you like Eddie and all, but this is between them. This isn’t for you to solve.”
She got up, and gave me a hug, which was not typical. “I know. Just needed to vent. But if Avery should say something, you know, maybe to your mom, you will let me know right?”
“He won’t say anything, Gina. I’m sure of that. He counsels all the time and it’s sort of like the Catholics with their confessions and all. It is totally confidential…”
“But just in case, you will tell me, right?”
“Yeah, I will. Now you better leave through the back in case Mama is on her way home. I work the next three days, so if you need me, I’ll be at the Tastee-Freez from eleven to three, okay?”
“Got it,” she said, “And don’t let the twins know, Sunny. This is just best friend stuff for now.”
“Got it.”
I thought about what Gina had confided to me while I stood at the kitchen sink, peeling potatoes for supper. It actually bothered her that Gloria and Eddie weren’t sharing a bed anymore. That would be a blessing in this house. We only had the two bedrooms upstairs, and they were situated right across the hall from each other. I could often hear the sounds of Mama and Avery having sex.
The bed springs bouncing in rhythm, the intermittent tapping of the headboard against the wall. And then later, the increased momentum resounding the impending closure. The squeaking of the bed springs would hit a pulsing pitch and her mother’s mewls of pleasure ignited like a chorus chiming in during the last stanza of their mating song.
I always tried to drown out the sounds by pulling a pillow up and over my head, but natural curiosity had me lifting one side to see if they were finished and, if they weren’t, I went ahead and listened until they were.
Avery always got up once they were done and went into the bathroom down the hall to wash up I presumed. I always had a difficult time looking my mother in the face the morning after when I’d come downstairs to breakfast and she would be happy and humming to herself as she set the food on the table.
I wasn’t sure how often was considered normal for a man Avery’s age to want sex, but they seemed to do it several times a week. My stomach turned thinking about allowing someone like Avery Dawson to put his hands all over my body, let alone sticking his dick inside of me.
I shivered in disgust just as Mama came in from work. “Hey Sunny,” she greeted, tossing her handbag on the table. “I swear, it’s hotter than two goats in a pepper patch out there. Even this little bit of air-conditioning we have seems like heaven compared to the outside.”
“Yeah, I know it’s hot, Mama. That’s August in Alabama.”
“Whatcha making?” she asked, getting the pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge.
“Boiled ham, potatoes, and green beans. Is that okay?”
“Sounds fine, darlin’. Avery must be running late.”
“Oh, yeah. He had a counseling session with Mrs. Margolis-Sanders at the church late this afternoon.” The moment I said it, I knew I had made a horrible mistake.
Mama came over and set her half-full glass of sweet tea on the counter, and crossed her arms. “And just how would you know that?” she asked tersely.
“Well…uh, he said so before he left.”
“Now girl, I know you’re lying to me! He might’ve told you he had an appointment, but he sure as hell did not tell you with whom.”
I turned the heat on under the pot on the stove, and then turned to look at her. I never lied to my mother. It was just something that I wasn’t in the habit of doing, and I didn’t want to start now.
“Okay, Mom. To be honest, Gina stopped by here unexpectedly. She was upset and really needed to talk to me. She’s the one that told me being that it’s her mom and all.”
“So, you’re disobeying the terms of your restriction, I see.”
“She didn’t stay long, I promise. I told her I couldn’t have her here, but she was genuinely upset, Mama. What was I supposed to do? Shut the door in her face?”
My mother remained quiet for a moment, rubbing the back of her neck as if I was a major stress factor in her life these days. “You just better hope Avery doesn’t find out about it, Missy. He takes punishment seriously, and I don’t want to be put in the middle of it.”
“I know, Mama,” I sigh, “but really, don’t you think two weeks was a bit…harsh?”
“I will not question my husband’s decisions, Sunny. You will not succeed in playing us against one another.”
“Against one another?” I said, my voice was louder now. “He’s not my parent, Mama. You are. You should be the one to set the rules and dole out the punishment when you see fit. Avery is nothing to me!”
“Hush your mouth, you hear? You will not question his authority over you. Why, if I had been stricter and more consistent with your upbringing we might not be having this conversation right now, girl. Now you go on up and bring your dirty laundry down. I’m going down to the basement to start it before he gets home.”
And with that, she left me to stew in my own juices.
Life was much simpler before Avery Dawson came into mine.
Chapter 6
Reverend Dawson scribbled more notes down on the tablet he had started for Mrs. Margolis-Sanders’ counseling session. He knew there would be many more sessions after today.
She had been reluctant to open up right away to Avery’s questions. He had assured her several times that everything that was said or otherwise took place within these walls would most certainly remain there. She needed to trust him, and he explained that to her at length.
Gloria Margolis-Sanders was in her late thirties, and a strikingly handsome woman in his opinion. She was on her second marriage to Eddie Sanders, a blue-collar worker at the aluminum sign factory in nearby Millersburg. He was four or five years younger than Gloria, and had never been married before. From what Gloria had already confided to Avery, he was a good man in all respects; a good provider, good with her daughter from her first marriage, and treated her with love and respect.
“What more could I ask for?” she had asked the minister, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
“You tell me,” Avery responded taking notes. “Do you love him, Gloria?”
She hesitated for a moment before responding. “I feel like I do, Reverend, it’s just that, well…I’m not sure if I’m in love with him if that makes sense.”
“Explain that to me, please.”
She struggled to find the words that would be the least offensive to the good preacher sitting across from her.
“He wants me to have his child,” she finally said with a sigh, “And it’s not that I’m against that, but my children are in their teens, and I’m just not sure that I’m up to it.”
“Yes,” Avery replied, clicking his tongue, “I’m familiar with your oldest daughter—Gina is it?”
Gloria nodded with a smile, “Yeah, Gina. She’s friends with your stepdaughter, Sunny. Those girls are like two peas in a pod.”
“Indeed,” Avery replied. “At the age where they require adult intervention to keep them on the straight and narrow. Sunny has been testing her limits recently. Donna let her run wild far too long, I’m afraid.”
“Oh…really? She’s always nice and polite when she’s around me. Actually, she is the one friend I trust the most with my Gina.”
“Donna and I are working diligently to get the girl under control, but that’s beside the point. Now let’s get back to the issue at hand, Gloria. I sense there’s more to your story than what you’re revealing. You must be totally open and honest with me. I can’t believe it’s a matter of your not being sure you can handle an infant again. You are still quite young an
d energetic. I suspect it’s something else.”
Gloria pulled her summer skirt down over her knees. Her body language screamed that she had more to say but, for whatever reason, she couldn’t find the words that would adequately explain this to her minister. She didn’t want him to think she was some wanton hussy. Or worse yet, frigid with her own husband. It had never been that way with Gina’s father, Steven.
“It is, Reverend. But it’s so difficult, not to mention embarrassing for me to explain. I’m afraid…well, I’m afraid you’ll think poorly of me if I tell you everything.” Her voice drifted off and she kept her eyes locked on her hands that were now folded in her lap.
“Maybe the first thing for you to do is to call me Avery, instead of Reverend, at least in these sessions. Do you think you could do that, Gloria?”
“Yes…yes, Avery.” she said. “That does help.”
“Okay, so Avery, I think it’s possible I’m still in love with Steven—that’s my first husband. Steven Margolis.”
“How long have you been divorced from Steven?”
“It’s been years. I know it sounds crazy, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I’m the one that wanted the divorce, not Steven, but I just couldn’t stand his controlling ways. He begged me to stay, but I needed my independence I guess. Then, three years ago I met Eddie. We dated for a year and I felt, at the time, that I was head over heels in love with him. We married, and it’s been a good marriage, it really has except for one part of it...” her voice trailed off again.
“The physical part?” Avery asked directly.
“Yes,” she said quietly, “how did you guess?”
Avery cleared his throat and gave her a grim smile, “When you’ve been in my shoes for as long as I have, you see the signs, Gloria. Please, don’t feel embarrassed or ill at ease discussing this with me. It’s all confidential as I’ve told you before, and if it makes you feel any better, it’s not all that unique either. I’ve worked this issue through with other members of my congregation with very favorable results, I promise you. Again, I can’t reiterate enough that you must trust me with this.”
Gloria nodded, and crossed her legs, giving Avery a meek smile. “I feel better already just getting this off my chest. I think it may be the reason why I think I might still be in love with Steven. You see, with my first husband, the…physical aspect of our relationship was very rewarding. It was out of the bedroom where we had our issues. With Eddie? Well, let’s just say it’s the complete opposite,” she continued, her voice cracking with emotion. “And the thing is Rev…I mean, Avery, is that I feel so disloyal to him by even complaining about it. He’s such a good man in every other way. But, it’s gotten to the point where I’m sleeping in another room to avoid it, and he is so hurt and confused.”
At this point, Gloria dissolved into tears and Avery knew it was time that the next level of her therapy commenced.
Chapter 7
“Go ahead and make up a plate for Avery and stick it in the fridge,” Mama instructed as she looked at the clock again. “It’s too damn hot to leave it setting out on the counter. I’m going to go and get a shower.”
“Okay, Mama,” I replied, clearing the table. It was a little after seven and even though Mama walked to the phone several times, and picked it up to call his office, she hung up each time before completing the call. I hadn’t said a word because I couldn’t understand why he had been held up so long either.
The fact that I’d slipped and told my mother who exactly Avery was counseling more than likely hadn’t helped matters. My mother knew Gloria Sanders in passing, mostly because she was Gina’s mother and we’d been friends forever, but that didn’t mean she liked her.
They were both the same age, and had grown up and gone to school together. Mama claimed that Gloria was one of the uppity girls in high school, thinking she was better than the rest of them. I couldn’t see it, but I never said that to my mother. I knew well enough that whatever Mama wanted to believe, she would regardless whether anyone disputed that fact or not.
Gloria was still very pretty and I’m sure Mama wouldn’t dispute that fact should someone make that observation to her, but it was certainly nothing she would offer up on her own.
I supposed that as soon as I was off of restriction, Gina would fill me in on how things were working out with her mother and Eddie. I knew that Gina wanted them to stay together.
I just finished up the dishes when I heard the front door open and knew that Avery was home.
“Donna?” he called out from the front room while making his way through the dining room into the kitchen. “Where’s your mother?” he asked, spotting me standing in front of the sink.
“She went up to take a shower. There’s a plate in the fridge if you want some supper,” I started to say, but he cut me off.
“Maybe later. I need to talk to your mother first. Go on about your business.”
He left and I heard him climbing the staircase.
He was rude, even for Avery I thought to myself as I finished drying the dishes and putting them away. I took the trash out and, once back inside, I began scouring the kitchen sink when I heard the commotion from upstairs.
Dear Lord, it was only seven-thirty for crying out loud. But I knew the sounds. Avery was with Mama and they were screwing up a storm apparently.
I turned the clock radio on that sat on the kitchen counter. I tuned it to my favorite pop music station, and turned up the volume a bit to drown out the sounds while I finished scrubbing the sink.
I could hardly wait until my grounding was over.
Chapter 8
Finally, freedom was mine again and, though I’d never admit this out loud to my mother—and certainly not to my stepfather, I would make it my mission to never miss curfew again!
“So,” Gina said, once we were in the car on the way to the mall, “how much do you have to spend on school clothes?”
“Let’s see,” I replied, ruffling through the piles of bills in my lap. “I saved two hundred and sixty-seven dollars over the summer, and Mama gave me a hundred.”
“Wow,” she said, making a right to get out onto the highway towards the mall, “you can do some seriously shopping with that.”
“What about you?”
“I’ve got Mom’s charge card and Eddie slipped me a hundred,” she said, laughing. “Did I tell you I totally dig my stepdad?”
“Yeah, yeah, several times. Braggart.”
“What can I say? Some of us luck out in the stepdaddy department I guess.”
“Don’t remind me,” I mumble. “By the way, how are things going with your mom and Eddie? We have some catching up to do here.”
Gina shrugged as she switched stations on the car radio. “Well, it’s hard to tell. I mean, they don’t argue or anything. And Eddie is going to church with her now every Sunday, so she seems pleased about that. I guess the counseling is working, but not fast enough to suit Eddie¸ I’m sure.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well hell, Sunny. They’re still in separate bedrooms so what do you think?”
“Do you know how much I would give if Mama and Avery went to separate bedrooms? Damn, I get sick and tired of them going at it all the time.”
“Ewww,” Gina said, wrinkling her perfect nose, “that is gross! But hey, does that mean you want Avery in your bedroom since you just have the two?”
“Shut your mouth, Gina! Now that’s just plain sick. Actually, if Avery hadn’t taken over the downstairs study that used to be Jamie’s bedroom, I’d have taken that room just to get some distance from all the carrying on they do.”
Gina laughed. “Sorry, I know he bugs you, although my mother swears that Avery hung the moon. She says he is giving her a whole new perspective on her marriage.”
“That’s good,” I replied. “Is she still going to counseling alone?”
“I guess, why?”
“Oh, I just thought at some point Avery would want Eddie to participate as
well.”
Gina pulled into the parking lot of the mall and found a space. “So far, it’s just Mom, but she says this is a slow process that will take weeks, if not months, to tackle. As long as there is no D-I-V-O-R-C-E mentioned, I’m cool with whatever works.”
I made a mental note to try and snoop around his desk at home to see if he kept notes or a schedule or anything pertaining to his counseling sessions. Something was just not sitting right with me on this. I had a bad feeling about Avery Dawson—and it just kept getting worse.
“The twins are meeting us at Penney’s, so let’s hit it, girlfriend.”
And for the moment, my mind leaves Avery Dawson and moves on to the task at hand, which is a much more pleasant and enjoyable subject.
Chapter 9
“How have things been at home between you and Eddie?” Avery asked Gloria, as he stood up from behind his desk and closed the distance between them. “May I?” he asked, gesturing towards the empty spot on the sofa in his office where she sat.
“Oh, of course, Avery,” she replied, scooting over a bit to make more room for him. “Well, I’ve done as you suggested. I’ve not given in to his lusty requests, but I have talked to him about my discontent.”
“That’s good, Gloria,” Avery replied, “But you were sensitive to his feelings when you divulged your dissatisfaction with his performance?”
She nodded vigorously, “Oh yes, of course. Just like you said, I told him that we needed to examine the flaws in our emotional relationship before we moved on to perfecting the physical part of it.”
“Excellent,” Avery said, giving her a supportive smile. “Did you do the exercise I gave you?”
Gloria giggled nervously, “I did, but Eddie sure couldn’t understand the purpose of it. We did as you said. We both closed our eyes and faced one another. And then we took turns touching each other’s face and neck. We didn’t move any lower than that.”
“Good,” Avery remarked, “and the purpose of this exercise is to know each other by touch in a non-sexual way. The reason is to reinforce intimacy. The first step to developing a strong foundation that isn’t about the sexual act.”
