by Bree Dahlia
“Really?” I looked at Linda, and she shrugged.
“Irish dancing. But only if her knees don’t hurt too bad.”
“I used to take lessons,” I said, “but a long time ago.” God, when was that? First grade?
The lights dimmed, and everyone standing scrambled for their seats. Chase hadn’t come over to talk to me, and I couldn’t deny how that made me feel. But I assumed he’d figured out by now that I was there because Hazel invited me. There really was no reason for him to come over and find out for himself. That was fine; there was a time and place for everything.
Oh, fuck. He was going up on the stage, and that stage wasn’t too far from my table. I rubbed my sweaty palms over my thighs and swallowed about fifty times before he even began to speak. Thank God the lights were low because I couldn’t imagine what I looked like. But Chase… he was under the spotlight front and center, full-on display, and my memory was serving me well. If only he’d been a complete asshole, then maybe I wouldn’t have had those urges to run up there and tear off his clothes with my teeth.
I followed his mouth as he thanked everyone for attending and as he discussed the role of the arts in education. What he spoke was important, and I already knew I agreed with him based on prior conversations we’d shared. I just couldn’t focus on his every word at the moment, not while he was so close to me. If my proximity was equally affecting him, he didn’t show it. Not that I wanted him to fluster and mess up; I just wanted to detect something.
After he had finished, a lady took his place, and I learned that there’d be twenty acts, separated by a short intermission and refreshments. Each act brought in a new donation, so as far as I could tell, the more, the better.
When Hazel had asked me to see the show, I’d no idea what to expect, but the first hour flew by. It was lovely. All amateur talent, but some of it quite good. Kids of all ages singing, doing magic, performing skits. There was a mother-daughter tap dancing act and a father-son electric guitar performance of “Smoke on the Water.” I had the feeling that no auditions were necessary; whoever wanted to be a star for the night could have their chance.
When the lights switched back on, there was another mad rush to get to the snack table. Hazel went up with her grandmother, but I stayed put. My stomach was too twisted to put anything in it anyway. I was glad I came but come on… Chase was in the same room as me, and I wasn’t in his arms? It hurt.
I didn’t notice her until she was right next to me. Sneaky bitch. “Cassie.”
“Hello,” she said, her smile as fake as her nails. Her chair was pulled close to mine, and something was making me nauseated. Perfume, hairspray? No, probably just her. “I’m not sure what you’re hoping to accomplish, but it’s obvious Chase is no longer interested. So a little friendly advice? Go find someone your own... size to play with.”
In the next moment, she was gone. I was torn between chasing after her and crumbling into tiny pieces. No, he might not be interested any longer, but she didn’t need to be such a fucking cunt about it. I was trembling inside, anger and heartache swirling together and creating a chaotic mess.
Hazel returned to the table, and I released it the best I could. Time and place, I reminded myself. I could be mature and gracious. She set down a brownie the size of a small paperback. “That looks good,” I said.
“Want some?”
“No, thank you.” I pointed at the stage. “When do you go up there?”
“I think soon.”
Linda had returned with a cup of coffee right before the room went dark again. I was looking forward to leaving. I’d had enough for the evening. I’d give Chase a little more time after tonight, then maybe try calling and inviting him over like I’d originally planned. I did not want to hang my head and scurry away like a frightened bunny, but honestly, how much did I want to take?
After two acts in, Hazel was finally called up. She grabbed her pink guitar and went to the stage. I couldn’t stop smiling. She put the strap over her shoulder and sat down on a little stool, practicing a bit of fingerpicking first. She moved in close to the microphone. “This is something my teacher taught me.”
Chase darted up there and whispered something into her ear, causing her to giggle. Just seeing him for those few seconds made my chest crush. I didn’t want to see his face anymore tonight.
When he stepped down, she began strumming a few chords of what I guessed to be “Sweet Child O’ Mine.” I clapped and smiled even wider. It was awesome.
Hazel set down her guitar. “And now my friend Jillian is going to Irish dance with me.”
Wait, what? My breath caught in my throat. Doesn’t she mean Grandma? Hazel was waving at me, and I leaned over to Linda. “Aren’t you supposed to go up there?”
“My knees won’t make it,” she whispered back.
“Jillian? Come on.” Hazel called from the stage.
Oh, shit. I shook my head. It would have been nice to have a heads-up. “I don’t remember anything, Linda.” Everyone was looking in my direction, waiting for me to move. What in the world was going through Chase’s head?
“It’s fine. She’ll show you.”
God, did I feel like an idiot. If Hazel weren’t using those big brown eyes as a weapon, I would have held my ground. I went up there wondering how I was going to do this. It’s not like I was auditioning for Dancing with the Stars, but I still didn’t want to fall flat on my face and make a fool of myself.
When I stepped up on the platform and peered toward the audience, some of my tension melted away. The lights were too blinding for me to see anyone beyond the nearest tables. That left only a small handful of people in my line of vision, and neither Chase nor Cassie was one of them.
I bent down and said, “I don’t remember any of my lessons, Hazel. You’ll have to teach me.”
“Okay,” she yelled loudly into the microphone. “I have to teach her first.”
The crowd laughed, and I couldn’t help relaxing more. This might even be fun. I watched her steps, keeping my arms straight at my sides. One-two-three. Two-two-three. She did the most basic of jigs, and it was easy enough for my brain to make the recollection. As soon as we were in sync, someone began playing fiddle tunes in the background.
We couldn’t have been up there more than ten minutes, but by the time we finished, I was in a completely different mindset. I took Hazel’s hand, and we went back to our table. Because of her, I felt really, really good.
“That looked fun,” Linda said, and we both burst out laughing.
I stayed for the remaining acts, and when the final one completed, I waited for the lights to flick on. I picked up my purse and fished out my keys, ready to leave. “We’ll now be taking walk-ups and doing a little dancing.” I raised my head to see the same woman from earlier speaking into the microphone and shaking her hips.
I figured I didn’t need to stick around for this part. I slid my chair back, nearly colliding with a couple of girls running full speed past. Hazel begged me to stay while her friends were on stage, so I scooted back in and listened to them sing some nonsensical song I’d never heard of. “Did they make this up?” I asked.
“Yep.” She gave me a silly grin, and I gave her one right back.
As soon as the girls jumped down, a middle-aged man took their place and attempted to do some form of rapping. The night had just taken a strange turn. Tables were pushed aside, clearing out space in the back for a dance floor, and before long, adults and children alike were singing everything from country duets to hard rock. “I need to get going, Hazel.” I wasn’t sure where Linda had disappeared to. Maybe she was in line to belt one out like everyone else.
“Aw, already?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cassie. She was leaning over and speaking to a guy at the table next to mine while staring daggers at me. I turned to meet her glare, and the message was clear: Chase wants nothing to do with you, so what the fuck are you still doing here?
Something snapped in me. I was not going down withou
t a fight. I might have ruined my chances with Chase, but I was not backing away without him knowing exactly how I felt about him. And if I waited for another time and place to make my love known, it might never happen.
“Do you really have to go, Jillian?”
“No, sweetie. Not yet. I changed my mind.”
I was operating on autopilot when I got up and stood in that line with everyone else. I hadn’t thought it all the way through, but that was fine; if I started thinking too much, I might talk myself out of it.
When it was my turn, I got up on stage and faced the audience. I could thank Hazel for my relative lack of nerves, knowing beforehand that the majority of the crowd would be invisible to me.
“I’d like to dedicate this song to love.”
I paused, not sure how much to divulge. It was blatant that I hadn’t planned this out. I didn’t want to overly dramatize the moment, and I didn’t want to make it obvious to anyone but Chase. It was his place of business, after all.
“To everyone in love, but especially to the man I love. He once showed me a beautiful rock underneath the stars. And he taught me that I can always return there if I follow the path of my heart.”
It didn’t matter if I wasn’t making sense to anyone, as long as it made sense to Chase. I quickly scanned the lyrics in my mind, making sure they were age appropriate. I really hadn’t thought this over too well.
I then proceeded to reach inside and pull out everything I had. I sang “Maybe I’m Amazed,” changing every man word to woman and vice versa. The music played within me, and I followed along, bringing myself back to that night. The strum of his guitar strings. The sense of complete harmony. I got lost in that world, pouring out passion and emotion like I’d never get the chance again.
When I stopped, I had to catch my breath. I’d held nothing back, and it showed. A slight chill went through me despite the hot lights. Strange sensations crawled over as I came down from my high. I needed some fresh air.
I received applause, and that made me feel a bit silly since I was only doing it for one person. I heard murmurs and comments as I made my way back to the table, all of them positive, but I wasn’t looking for an ego boost. What was I looking for? Chase to be waiting right there when I stepped off the stage?
“That was so good, Jillian!” Hazel wrapped her arms around me and hopped up and down.
“Thank you, sweetie.” There was no way she had a clue about anything I just sang. “But I do need to leave now. For real this time.” I did a quick peek around. “Can you say good-bye to your grandmother for me?”
“Okay.” I gave her an extra hug because as much as I’d like to see her again soon, I just wasn’t sure when it’d happen.
I slipped out the gym doors as unobtrusively as possible. I’d already made my scene, no need to make another one. If my song meant anything, Chase knew where to find me.
The parking lot was packed but lit well enough to find my car quickly. I was almost to my door, keys in hand when I felt a whoosh. I smiled and turned around.
“Hazel, what—”
Green eyes stopped me cold then soared me to overheated in two seconds flat. He placed his hands on both sides of my face and held me there, inches from him. My lids dropped, and I might have whimpered just a little. His first touch after a month felt even better than anticipated.
“I’ve missed you so badly, Chase.” Even when I denied it, even when I’d refused to accept it, I was still craving him next to me.
He rested his forehead against mine. “And my life has been hell without you.”
His words sent a river of pleasure through my veins. I never wanted him sad; I just wanted him happy. With me. God, I could taste his lips from here. Please, please kiss me already. “I want you back. I want us back.” Please say yes.
“I will not share you with your ex-husband, Jillian.”
I snapped my eyes open. “I’m not asking you to. I don’t want you to share me with anyone. I don’t want to share anyone with you.”
He inhaled deeply. “He’s in your home. I’m not okay with that.”
How could his mouth be that close without devouring me? Have his body so near without crushing me? Only his hands were in contact with my skin, and they were above the neck. His face wasn’t even touching mine anymore. How the fuck was he not going as crazy as me?
“Chase, he’s not there anymore. I made him leave. I’m so sorry for everything you went through. He needed someplace to stay temporarily. Nothing ever happened, and he’s never coming back. Please believe me.” I didn’t want to spend our time talking about Mike. “He’s not the one I care about. You’re the one. I love you, Chase.”
His body pushed mine back, closing the gap between me and my car. I was sandwiched between the cool metal and his hot, hard muscles, and the heat was winning. Fuck, Chase. How was one man able to make me feel so much? I got that kiss I was aching for, and I decided right then and there that I would never come up for air. I would simply drown in it and die a happy woman.
I resisted when he saved me, when he disengaged long enough for me to take a breath. The fact that we were in a school parking lot filtered back, and I knew we couldn’t push it as far as I wanted to go. Overall, his physical actions had been tame. It was my emotions that kicked everything into high gear. His hands and mouth had never felt so erotic.
“So, you love me, huh?”
“Wholeheartedly.” I smiled. “And I’m guessing that excites you?”
He brushed aside a strand of my hair, sending down a pleasant chill. “Oh, you have no idea.”
“Remember, there are children around.”
“I’m well aware, Ms. Hudson.”
I needed to make sure we were good—not just for tonight, but for as long as we could make it last. And I was hoping that would be for a long, long time.
“I’m so sorry,” I said again. “You were right; I realize that now. Our age difference doesn’t matter, and I love how that never bothered you. You were always so secure about us. You never faltered, and I admire your strength more than you know. I want the chance to prove to you that I can be the same way.”
He stroked the side of my neck, and I closed my eyes again, taking it deep within. “I’ll do anything for you, Jillian, but I won’t take anymore shit. I can’t go through that again.”
“I don’t want you to ever have to.”
“And I’m going to love you whenever and wherever I’d like. I’m not going to hold back. If I want to touch you, then I’m going to damn well touch you. The world is going to know you’re mine, and if you have any problems with that, I need to hear it now.”
I shook my head. “No problems.”
He nudged at my chin with his hand, and I raised my lids. “If you’re in, I need you all in. Because I can promise you that I’ll be. I’m going to love you like you’ve never been loved before, Jillian.”
You already have. “Yes, Chase. I’m all in.”
Our lips sealed the deal. This was it. We were in. He held me tightly as I burrowed my face into his neck, inhaling my fill. It’d been way too long. I peeked over his shoulder to see a figure standing near the school entrance, the light illuminating her long blonde hair.
I picked my head up slightly, just enough for her to see me smile. Then I flipped her off. Fuck gracious and mature. There were no others around. It was the perfect time to put that bitch in her place.
She stormed inside. “Chase?” Jitters bounced under my skin. “I know you told me that you weren’t interested in Cassie, but did anything ever happen between you two, even for a night?” God, I’d puke right there if he hooked up with her over this past month.
He pulled back so he could look at me, an amused look on his face. “No. Never.”
“Not even a kiss?”
His lips curved higher. “No.”
I breathed out loudly. “Good, because as much as it pains me to admit it, her face is too pretty to claw up. Even if she does deserve every scratch mark.”
/>
He started to laugh. “You’re jealous.”
Fuck it. “Yes, I am.” If that what’s you called that gnawing feeling inside my gut, then I guess I had to own up to it.
Chase brought me back against him, still chuckling softly. “I have to go in and wrap up a few things, but then I’m taking you home.” He pressed his mouth to my ear and whispered, “I’m going fucking crazy here, Wild Horses. If I don’t get inside you soon….”
“God, yes. Hurry.”
We faced the school together, and just then, Hazel and her grandmother exited. We met them halfway, Linda nodding and sporting the slightest smile and Hazel clapping.
“Is he your boyfriend again?”
I looked at Chase and was overcome with warmth. “Yes, sweetie, he is.”
After more excited clapping, we said our good-byes to them. Chase grasped my hand in his as we prepared to walk into the school as a couple.
“Are you ready for this, Jillian?”
“With eyes wide open.”
Whiteout conditions. Hazardous road travel. Heavy gusts of wind. We were predicted to break snowfall records before the night was over. I peeked out my blinds, taking in the foot-high white blanket covering my yard. It appeared to get thicker by the second. More inches were on their way and bringing friends.
Thank God for Wisconsin winters.
Chase wrapped his arms around my waist, tugging me back against his chest. “It looks like it’ll just be the two of us tonight,” I said. “I can’t imagine Perry and Stephen making the drive.”
He traveled a path of kisses down the side of my neck. “We could even be snowed in for a couple days. Unable to leave the house,” I continued.
His lips moved over to the other side, and despite the roaring fire, I felt a chill slither down to my toes. Three months. Almost three months to the day since we got back together and every time he touched me, it reminded me all over again that I made the right decision.
“Mmm,” I moaned. “Whatever will we do with all that time?”
“We could make an igloo.”
I turned around and faced him. “An igloo?” I said, laughing.
