The Spirit Who Loved Me: Spirit Whispers Book One

by Stacey Virginia Longmuir

  A pinprick of light traveled towards us at tremendous speed, growing larger and brighter the closer it came. The now glowing orb came to a stop about four feet away from us and began rotating and elongating upwards as well as downwards. I watched in awe as the light began slowly transforming itself into the body of a woman.

  She was taller than both Spiral and myself and wore nothing more than a plain white boxy, shift like dress, so long it revealed only her bare feet, nails absent of any polish. Her fine, wispy hair almost touched her shoulders and was such a pale blond it was almost white, and likewise, her eyes were such a pale blue they reminded me of watercolors. Her skin was radiant, glowing, from all of the light trapped within her body, surrounding her with a warm halo.

  Allow me to introduce you to Saraphina. She is the angel compelled to watch over you. She has agreed to take us where we need to go.

  Goosebumps covered me from head to toe, but I wasn’t afraid. No, this was something else entirely. I looked down at my hands, watching how they trembled and shook for a few seconds before returning my gaze to the unearthly beauty of Saraphina. My breath caught in my throat, my mind numb, and for a moment, I couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to say.

  “You watch over me?” I asked, my voice incredulous.

  Saraphina smiled down on me as she crossed the divide between us and took my hands in hers, lightly kissing the top of my head like I was a small child. “Krystal Haggart it has been a pleasure to look over you. I have been with you since your very soul was born, and my, your soul has grown so.” She looked to Spiral with a nod and turned around, releasing one of her hands from my grasp in order to take one of his. “Come follow me.”

  The three of us stepped forward, my own steps tentative and unsure, causing me to lag slightly behind. Saraphina gave my hand a gentle squeeze and without any other warning, we were encompassed within a flash of blinding light. And then I was falling, falling, falling, into who knows where.

  When the sensation of falling seemed to stop and give way to the feeling of having something solid beneath my feet, I threw my hands out in front of myself and dug my heels into the floor in an effort to steady myself. My vision was spotty from the sudden blast of light, which was at least a hundred times brighter than any camera flash I’d ever seen and my ears were ringing with a foreign sound that I was unable to place.

  “Welcome to the Library of Akashic Records. Take all the time you need to orient yourself.” Saraphina patted me on the shoulder as I knelt down, resting my forehead on one of my knees. “You’ll be fine in just a moment.” Saraphina spoke in a sing song voice, airy and light like tinkling chimes. “Try focusing on your breath. One deep breath in. Hold it. Now release it, slowly now. Good. Now again.”

  I allowed myself to focus and relax to the sound her melodic, hypnotic voice. With one more deep breath, I forced my eyes to reopen and looked into the concerned faces of Saraphina and Spiral. “I think I’ll be okay now.” I took the hand Spiral extended to me and rose to my feet.

  My breath hitched in my throat in awe as I began to take in the grandeur of my surroundings. I noticed that we were standing on a balcony in circular library. I grabbed onto the railing made of the finest dark wood, glossy and silky to the touch. I looked upwards into the circular cavern fully expecting to see a ceiling, however, the shelves were lined with books as far as my eyes could see. Every level had at least one balcony just like the one we were on, each with exquisite gold leaf sculptures of angels flying beneath them. Gold gilded scroll work and crown moldings adored the shelves and flying buttresses. I leaned slightly over the railing, hoping to better see below. The library seemed to stretch downward into eternity, spiraling ever further, disorienting me. I watched in fascination at the orbs of light that floated and danced about. Some of the lights looked as large as my body, others were small glittery sparkles and all sizes in-between and were shades of bright white, warm yellow, or various hues of blue and violet.

  “Angels and Spirit. Saraphina took on a human form for your benefit so you’d feel more comfortable,” said Spiral. He gave me a small smile. “I still remember my first trip here. It is incredible, is it not?”

  Such was my amazement, I could only nod in answer.

  But as incredible as it all was, the most magnificent sight was the pulsing prism stretching along the far side of the library as if it were the heart of the library itself. The deep bass, hum driven pulse I’d been hearing since we arrived emanated from that light, vibrating my very bones. The color of icy blue topaz, its radiance far unsurpassed anything I’d ever laid eyes on while on Earth. I felt chills running up and down my spine. A longing to soar within the depths of the blue light pulled at my soul.

  “We are in the Inner Circle,” Spiral continued. “This houses the history of all Creation-- what has been, what is, and the possibilities of what will be. You could also call it the history of God. The records containing those of individual souls are housed in the Outer Circles, through there.”

  I gazed at the golden arch that Spiral pointed to behind us.

  “I had to appeal to Archangel Metatron to allow you to access your records. He agreed.” Spiral inclined his head to the beaming cylinder of topaz.

  “What? Are you saying that is Archangel Metatron?”

  “Indeed, it is Metatron. God appointed Archangel Metatron as the keeper of the Akashic Records after he returned from an Earthy incarnation as Enoch. It is quite rare for an angel to live as a human. The only Archangels to have done so are Metatron and one other.”

  “Didn’t I read in the Bible God rewarded Enoch by turning him into an angel?” I may have not be familiar with Archangel Metatron, but Enoch I had heard of at the Baptist church.

  “Metatron pleaded with God to allow him to live a human life in order to better understand human existence.” He motioned me forward. “Now come, and discover yourself.”

  We exited the balcony under an arch, following Saraphina into a maze of hallways each as ornate as the inner circle. “The architecture of the Library of Akashic Records is in a rather large Metatron’s Cube,” she explained.

  I didn’t know what that really meant, but I figured whatever it was must be quite ornate, especially judging by the maze of hallways Saraphina and Spiral were leading me through. One thing was sure, I would never be able to find my way out of this place on my own.

  Saraphina finally came to a stop outside of room, presenting it to me as if she were one of those ladies from the Price is Right showing off an awesome new car. Spiral stood next to her.

  “We are unable to go any further with you. Your records are in there. You should have ample time. However, if you haven’t finished before the breaking of dawn, we will knock on the door to alert you it is time to depart. You should also know Archangel Metatron has only granted you access to your past life and current life records. Any future lives will be shown to you as blank pages.”

  “Because they haven’t happened yet?”

  “The future is always in motion as souls make free will choices during their incarnations.”

  “What about my future in this life? Will I be able to view that?”

  “Possibly. But it is imperative to remember while certain events are inevitable, in others, what you will see will be only if you remain on the path you are currently on.”

  “But it can change? It’s not set in stone?”

  “Precisely, the future of this life will be vaguer than the past, as it’s leaving room for your free will choices. Mostly, you will be given a general idea of what you aim to achieve for your soul’s growth during the remainder of your time in your current life.”

  “Okay.” I took a couple tentative steps towards the entrance of the room. I looked over my shoulder to Saraphina and Spiral, taking in a deep breath. “Here goes.” And I walked through the door.

  The room was filled almost completely by an oblong table, the walls lined with books. I pulled out the one and only chair from the table, and sat down. I ran
my fingertips over the plush burgundy material. Velvet. My knees knocked together, my breaths were shallow.

  A brilliantly lit orb floated through the wall, hovering above the table. I could almost make out the outline of a face within its glow. Hands of light appeared and reached within itself, bringing forth a book, and the being lay it on the table in front of me. I blinked at the spots fast appearing in my vision from the sheer brightness. The face smiled at me slightly, and inclined its head in my direction. The orb slowly began to back away through the bookcase and wall.

  I stared down at the large volume in front of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to open it, no not yet. I fingered the fine pages, causing my hair to blow from around my face. I took in the symbols inscribed on the front, the back, the spine. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, not the first, and not to be the last of the night, and opened the forsaken book. I studied the first page. I could feel frustration welling up in my chest. I couldn’t read it. I growled low in my throat.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I whispered. “Why would you guys give me a book you damn well know I can’t read?” I didn’t get an answer. “Of course,” I grumbled, throwing a nice gesture up to the ceiling to no one in particular before realizing my action probably wasn’t the best idea in one of God’s sacred places. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

  I closed my eyes tightly shut, and took one shuddering breath after another. My heart began to slow with each calming breath. Swirls of violet flickered before the backdrop of my eyelids, some forming into gentle smiling faces, others flying falcons or galloping horses, lulling me almost to sleep. It took more will than I’d like to admit to force my eyes open. I stretched my arms out wide, yawning.

  I’ll give it one more shot, I thought to myself and opened the book again. As my gaze traveled over the unknown language, and without really understanding the exact words per se, I could understand the feelings and what was happening all the same.

  There once existed a soul so beautiful and alluring mere words could not give its magnificence justice. The soul was wise and was held in high regard by its fellow souls. Light radiated from its being as if it were the very sun and as such, was known as Star of Eternal Light. To further the soul’s growth, the soul longed to go on an unprecedented journey, the first of its kind. The soul and its guardian angel, Erel, sought out Archangel Metatron for guidance and advice. Metatron, pleased and intrigued with the idea, recommended they go before the Great Creator and beseech the holy being for permission to enlist on this one of a kind journey.

  Creator listened thoughtfully to the request of Star of Eternal Light, which at that time was coming close to the brink of finishing its living incarnations.

  Why dear cherished one should you like to do this thing? Creator asked. Are you not pleased to be close to my presence, dearest one?

  ‘O holiest of Holy Ones, I am always pleased and bursting with joy to be in your presence. Indeed there is no place that I would rather desire to be. The soul looked back over its shoulder towards the Earth, the newest platform and quite possibly the grandest stage set so far, for souls to learn, dream, and grow. I feel my soul still desires to, not only learn more of love and the possibilities therein, but to teach my fellow Spirit of love as well.

  The warm glowing light rays emitted from Creator made it impossible to see within the depths of the radiant light. Smaller orbs of light flew around the light of Creator emitting jubilant song in praise unlike any I’d ever heard with my human ears, and even these angels stilled and quieted as they awaited the Source of Creation’s answer.

  It shall be done then. What a great pleasure you are to Creation to so love your fellow Spirit that you are willing to give them this Gift of your love and take such a grand journey. When your cycles of carnation are again completed you will be given the choice to become whole once more.

  The form of the soul shifted, breaking apart into millions of barely seen particles. The tiny particles whirled, swirling into a vortex before beginning to separate themselves before forming into two distinct bodies. The particles settled, leaving the two forms breathless, seemingly suspended in midair.

  My Erel will accompany the male essence of this soul. Saraphina, Creator commanded, and my ethereal guardian angel stepped forward from the dark depths to stand before the Source. Saraphina, you shall guard the female essence of this soul.

  It would be my honor. Saraphina bowed as her voice tinkled, sweet as bells.

  And with that, the idea of Twin Flame souls were born—one soul allowing itself to be spilt into two, separating the male and female essences: always yearning, always searching, always desiring the other half, to be and become whole again if only for a moment.

  Before my eyes, I was given millions of flashes, millions of different pictures and pieces, each lasting less than a nanosecond, triggering images within my mind just like a movie reel, spanning from what seemed to be the beginning of time itself to this day and beyond. I found it interesting that my friends and family were sprinkled within many of my lives, and I better understood the concept of soul families.

  In many lives, our pull towards one another was so strong we hurt others in our haste to be together. I saw Spiral when I had been his wife in Carthage. He didn’t have nearly as many tattoos then. I watched as I practically ripped apart his heart from my affairs with Abel, he a mere servant, Spiral a high ranking political official, dealing the final blow, when I left him for Abel. But it was this heartbreak that caused Spiral Spider much soul searching, driving him to leave politics and to achieve the spiritual heights that molded him into the Master he was to become. The pain I caused Spiral wrenched at my heart even though I knew my pull towards Abel was insatiable.

  In other lives, it was our love itself that intrigued and inspired, as it did in bringing the populace together in small village in the north of France. I could only guess at the time, the 1600’s, maybe? As a mere girl of fifteen or sixteen, Abel saved, not only me, but somehow my whole family of six as our meager home caught on fire, the thatched roof burning as if alit by modern gasoline. A divine miracle it was called, and the story was recalled for the rest of our lives, as well as our children’s and grandchildren’s before it was quietly forgotten. But aside from this so called miracle, it was the kindness and love we garnered for one another at a time in history when people didn’t always treat one another lovingly that made our tale such an inspiration, a true love story.

  At times we ran from our feelings—the draw so overpowering we thought ourselves mad and had no inkling of what else to do, causing much pain and misunderstanding. As a young woman, I fled to London, seeking out Westminster Abbey in hopes of becoming a nun, my love for Abel so intense it felt like worship. In fear for my eternal soul, I ran away in the middle of one night, sneaking in shadows as I made my way out of the country and was sadly raped by road bandits and left to die by the side of the road. A kindly monk found me and thankfully brought me to the abbey where the nuns nursed me to health. Many years passed before we were able to lay eyes on one another once more, but by that time it was too late for us. He was married with a wife and family; I was married to Christ.

  After a while, the images began to jumble in my mind. I saw myself in all different ethnic backgrounds of light skin and dark, young and old, beautiful or plain or ugly. I was blond haired and black haired and shades in between.

  Much to my amazement, I even lived as a male with my female’s essence trapped within the body, and with Abel a male as well, well, that life was more than challenging, ending with me tragically looking down the wrong end of the barrel of a Colt 45. I can still see the waves of long prairie grasses blowing over that body, my glazed and frozen blue eyes staring blankly towards the sky, still full of shock and surprise. Luckily, my spirit quickly alerted Abel, and he was able to safely get away before he too was murdered. Apparently, cowboys back in the day didn’t take all kindly to male on male love. If I took nothing else from this experience, I knew that I’d spend the re
st of my days as Krystal Abagail Haggart, the world’s most tolerant, understanding person.

  Before reaching my current lifetime, the pictures began to slow. I saw a massive round table set in a richly furnished library, much like the room I was sitting in now. My mother was seated next to the father I’d never known. Also present were many others I’d known in my life: Bobby, my grandmother, my deadbeat uncle, Spiral, and even Tammy and Malcom. And Abel, of course there was Abel seated on my right, as well as many others I didn’t realize I knew, but understood in an instant they were Spirit Guides and teachers for the others. In the background angelic orbs danced about, our guardians watching over us.

  Let’s go to the United States. It will be amazing to be there during the Period of Awakening, my mom thought to us, hugging onto the arm of my father.

  We nodded, murmuring our assent.

  I would love to be in the South. The women have the loveliest sounding voices, I mentioned, causing laughter to erupt from the others.