by Nicole Hart
"No way, if you cook, you at least have to let me clean up" I said
"How bout I let you help clean up?" He said with a grin.
"Deal" I said as I took his plate out of his hand and walked over to the sink.
He walked over to the pantry to grab aluminum foil to cover the leftovers when his phone began to ring. It was on the counter right next to me and I couldn't help but glance over. "Jay"
Jase walked over to the phone, looked at the name, hit decline then put his phone in his pocket. He didn't say a word, just kept cleaning the kitchen. Was I just being paranoid or was that weird? Was "Jay" a female? God, Lainey. Yes you're paranoid. Every man isn't like Derek. I hated that I always had to remind myself of that.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" Jase asked as we finished cleaning the kitchen.
"Sure" I said. I put on a smile even though "Jay" was nagging at my gut. I wanted to ask but it wasn't my business. Unless it was a female, then it was my business. Wasn't it? Maybe? I don't know. Were we making this exclusive? Damn it! My stupid paranoid mind would drive me crazy.
Jase grabbed me by the hand and pulled me over to the couch. I snuggled up against him as he grabbed the remote. His phone rang again. Jase pulled it out of his pocket. Of course I was going to look. "Jay" He hit decline again and put his phone on the end table.
"Who's Jay?" I couldn't help it. My curiosity and paranoia got the best of me.
Jase exhaled but remained silent.
"I know it's not my business" I said quietly.
"Jay's my dad" Jase said after a couple of minutes.
"Oh" I said. I was confused. "I thought he wasn't in the picture?"
"He's not" He said quickly.
"But he calls you?"
"He tries." Jase said. "But I don't answer"
"Why?" I asked. "I'm sorry Jase. I just want to know you more. I want to learn everything about you." I said as I scooted myself onto his lap and nuzzled into his neck.
I could feel his pulse quicken in his neck. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.
"Ok." He said with a sigh. "I don't ever talk about this, but you make it pretty hard to tell you no." He gave me a tiny grin. He was trying to lighten the mood. I backed away from him a little so I could look at his eyes.
He looked down and his shoulders slumped a little. My heart was already breaking for him. Whatever it was, this was hard for him. I put my hands in his and gave him a squeeze.
"My mom got sick when I was 11. She was a really good mom." He said as he looked into my eyes. "Before she got sick, she would sing all the time. She would sing while she did the dishes or cooked me breakfast. She would make up songs to get me to do my homework." He said with a little smile as he looked down. "She was a good mom. But when she got sick, she got real bad, real fast. She just wasted away in a few months. Jay was there for her though, I'll give him that. But once she died, he changed."
Jase was rubbing my hand with his thumbs as he talked. I knew this was hard for him to talk about. But he needed to get it out. My eyes welled up with tears just looking at the brokenness on his face. I didn't speak, I just waited when he paused.
"He started doing drugs. Speed I guess. He would leave for days at a time. I would be alone. I didn't have anybody else. He kept working and paying the bills though, he just wasn't around. He would get groceries sometimes. But that even stopped after a while. I would mow yards in my neighborhood to get food money. It went on for years. He would take off, then come home acting crazy. He would talk about people following him or watching him. He wasn't my dad anymore. He was a junkie." Jase said. His eyes were full of hurt but his voice didn't show any emotion. But he continued.
"When I was 16, I got a job at the local carwash. I saved up all the money I could for months to get a car. He came home one day while I was at school and stole it. My room was tore up and he left a needle in the bathroom. Who does that shit?" Jase said as he looked up at me.
"I'm so sorry Jase" I whispered. My voice full of emotion as I pushed the lump in my throat back down.
"He denied it, of course. He was so fucked up in the head, he probably didn't even remember. After that I got a bank account so he couldn't touch it. Anyway, I graduated from high school, got a job on the rig and made my own way."
"When is the last time you saw him?" I asked.
"After my first hitch. I went home to get my stuff since I finally had the money for my own place."
"You haven't seen him in 8 years?" I said.
"Nope" He replied.
"How does he have your number?" I asked.
"An old buddy from school gave it to him a few years ago. He didn't realize what a pain in my ass it would be. He didn't know how bad things were."
"How often does he call?"
"Couple times a week."
"And you never answer his calls?" I asked. I knew I was asking a lot of questions but I had to know.
"No."
"Ever?" I asked, a little shocked.
"No, Lainey" He said with a little laugh. "Never"
"Wow" It was all I could say.
"Now. Can we please not talk about it anymore?" He asked, but it really wasn't a question. He was done talking about it, whether I liked it or not. I knew that for sure. "Let's watch that movie."
"Ok." I said, even though it took everything in me to stop asking questions.
Jase grabbed the remote and turned on an Adam Sandler comedy. I snuggled up next to him and got comfortable. But the truth was, I wasn't paying any attention to the movie. I laughed when he laughed so I didn't give myself away. The look on his face when he told his story broke my heart. How could a father do that to his son after he lost his mom? Jase spent years alone fending for himself and probably drowning in grief. Was his dad regretful, is that why he called? Was he still on drugs wanting money? I had a million questions. But more than anything I wanted to know if Jase was really ok. How could he heal if he never dealt with his grief? He lost his dad right along with his mom too. I knew all about that. But the fact was his dad was still alive. Something I would never have. But I wouldn't push the issue any further tonight. I didn't want tension between us. I just wanted to be close to him. So I wrapped myself up tighter against Jase and he kissed me on the head. And then I tried to pay attention to the movie.
The ding of a text message woke me the next morning. The sun was shining bright through the windows and Jase was snuggled against me with his arm draped over my waist. I moved away slowly, trying not to wake him as I reached for my phone on the nightstand.
Sam: Just checking on you. Noticed you didn't come home.
Me: I stayed with Jase
Sam: That's what I figured you dirty slut. ;) I was just making sure you didn't get murdered or something.
Me: Drama Queen
Sam: Hey you never know lol
Me: I'm good
Sam: I bet you are...bawchickawowow
Me: LOL I'll be home later
Sam: 10-4
"Mmm..." Jase groaned. "Come here" He said in that raspy morning voice that I loved so much. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me closer to him. He draped his leg over me and it only took a second to realize we were both still naked.
"Mornin'" I whispered.
"I'm glad you stayed" He said as he kissed the top of my head.
"Me too" I said as I pulled his arms around me tighter.
Jase ran his hand from the top of my arm down to my thigh. My body immediately responded to his touch and I opened my legs for him. This was my new favorite way to start my day.
Chapter 7
Monday Afternoon
It was a super busy day at work. Mondays usually were. I felt a sense of relief when it was 5 o'clock and time for me to go home. I pulled my jacket tight around me as I walked out of the office. A cold front had moved in and the wind was brisk. It was almost November and the scenery was changing. The brittle leaves were being blown off the trees and the sky was dark. I missed summer already. I rushed to my car and sta
rted the engine.
My thoughts went to Jase once again. What else was new? I was more than ready to see him. We didn't get to have our usual lunch date today. The other receptionist called in sick so I didn't get the chance to leave the office. But he had been on my mind the whole day. He was leaving for work in the morning and I was dreading it. We had spent all of our time together since we met. I wasn't ready to be away from him for two weeks. It made me a little sick to my stomach every time I thought about it.
My feeling of dread turned to excitement when I pulled into my driveway and spotted his truck sitting there. He hopped out and met me at the driver’s side of my car.
"Hey beautiful" He said as he opened my door. I loved the way he always called me beautiful when he saw me. He actually made me believe it.
"Hey handsome" I said as I stood and wrapped my arms around him. I put my arms under his Carhart jacket and squeezed him. "Mmm… you’re warm."
"Let's go inside" He said as he started walking towards the front porch, with me still wrapped around him.
"I need to grab my purse" I said with my face buried in his chest.
"I'll get it, you go inside. I don't want you cold."
Once we were inside my room I started to take my shoes off and Jase laid down on my bed. He motioned for me to come over there with a nod of his head.
"If you insist." I said as I crawled onto his body and settled myself on top of him.
"I can't believe you have to leave tomorrow." I said with a pout.
"I know, it sucks. I gotta work though."
"I know." I said and then planted my lips on his.
"Pack a bag" He said and slapped my ass.
"What?" I said, confused.
"I want you to stay the night at my house. It's my last night home for two weeks, I need you in my bed" He said as he brushed his lips across my neck.
"Mmm" I moaned quietly. "Since you put it that way, how can I say no?"
"You don't" He said very matter of fact. "Now get to packing Baby. I can't wait much longer."
That was all the coaxing I needed. I jumped off the bed and started gathering my stuff. As I was packing all my necessities, I glanced over at Jase. He was lying there with his hands propped behind his head, just watching my every move.
"What?" I said with a giggle.
"Just watching the sexiest woman I've ever seen in my life." He said without hesitating.
"Scrubs and all huh?" I laughed.
"Scrubs and all." He said without a hint of laughter. He looked like he was ready to devour me. I needed to hurry up!
As I left work on Tuesday afternoon, I couldn't get to Jase fast enough. The knot in my stomach was growing by the second. He waited for me to get off work before he left for South Texas. I knew he had a long drive ahead of him and needed to get on the road. But I didn't argue with him when he chose to wait for me.
I pulled into his driveway as he was loading his hard hat and boots into his truck. I thought I might throw up. This was going to be so hard. I was attached to him already. I craved his touch every second. And now I wouldn't even get to look at those beautiful eyes for two weeks. I could do this. I could do this. I kept trying to convince myself. Only I wasn't so sure.
I jumped out of my car and ran to Jase before he even had a chance to get to me. I threw my arms around him and squeezed him tight. He held onto me just as tight.
"Let's go inside" He said as he started walking inside with his arm wrapped around me.
We walked into his house and Jase pulled me on top of him as he sat on the couch.
I put my arms around his neck and kissed him hard.
"I'm gonna miss you" I said with a lump in my throat. I was not going to cry. I was not going to cry.
"Me too" He said as he pulled me closer to him.
"Listen..." He said but then paused.
"Are you going to be able to do this?" He finally asked, his voice laced with worry.
"What do you mean?"
"Lainey, my job makes things hard. We're gonna be away from each other half the time. I just want to make sure you're here waiting when I get back."
"Jase" I said as I looked in his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."
"That's what I wanted to hear." He said as he put his lips on mine.
"And not to sound like the psycho girlfriend or anything" Did I just call myself his girlfriend? "But you’re gonna be good right? I don't have anything to worry about?" I knew I sounded completely insecure, but the truth is, I was. Completely.
"Baby, you're it for me. You have been since day one. And the word girlfriend doesn't do you justice Lainey. You fucking own me." He said as kissed me again. His words melted me. I was done. Never turning back. My life would never be the same.
He kissed me tenderly for a few minutes before breaking away from me.
"I have to go" He said with a long exhale.
"I know" I said and got off of him.
"I want to give you something first" He said as he stood and reached into his pocket.
He pulled a key out of his front pocket and put it in my hand.
"What's this for?" I asked, confused.
"It's a key to my house." He said. "When I get back home, I want you here waiting for me." He kissed me on the head. "Naked."
"I think I can handle that" I said with a huge smile as I put the key in my pocket. I had butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.
Jase wrapped his arms around me and we just stood still for a few minutes. My mind was racing. It was official. He was mine, and I was his. My feelings for him were so intense. I knew what was happening. I knew just how deep I was falling. I also knew it was too soon to say it out loud.
After Jase left, I drove straight home and crawled in bed. This feeling was so new. I missed him already. I had to keep reminding myself he was coming back. This was work, this was what he had to do. It's what we had to do. And if I had to suffer half of my life to have him with me the other half, then I was prepared to do that. Jase had assured me we could talk and text every day. I would hang on to that. If I couldn't hold him, at least I could hear his voice. I needed to toughen up, that was for sure. But for tonight, I would wallow in my self pity.
As I was pouting on my bed, staring at the picture of Jase I snapped on my phone, I heard the front door open. I heard rustling in the kitchen and then a loud thud. Sam's purse hitting the ground. I knew that sound well. God only knew what she kept in that thing. Then my bedroom door opened and Sam flopped down on the bed.
"Hey" She said quietly.
"Hey" I almost mimicked.
"You ok?" She asked.
I let out an exaggerated exhale "Yeah I guess" And then I looked over at Sam. She had sadness in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked, instantly worried.
"Nothing, why?" She said as she sat up.
"Liar" I said and then it dawned on me. "You're sad because Moon left today." I knew her just as well as she knew me.
"No I'm not" She said and then walked over to my door." I got us Mexican food and margaritas for dinner"
"It's ok to miss him" I said to Sam as we walked into the kitchen.
"Ugh" She groaned. "I don't wanna miss him Lainey." She admitted. "We have a deal. We just fuck, no feelings. And then I start feeling like a whiney little bitch every time he leaves."
"Well then we can be whiney little bitches together" I said as I put my head on her shoulder.
"I can handle that. But Moon can't know. So you can't tell Jase." She said as she pointed her fork in my direction.
"Deal" I said and grabbed a plate.
We spent the rest of the night watching Friends reruns and trying to avoid whining. We decided to take it easy on the margaritas since we both had to be up early for work. I had succeeded in keeping the tears at bay. I had Sam and Chandler Bing to thank for that.
When I crawled in bed my phone started to ring. His beautiful face showed up on the screen.
"Hello?" I said with a smile.
"Hey beautiful." He said.
"Hey! Are you still driving?" I asked
"Yeah, I'm almost to the rig. I wanted to call you before I got on location."
"Mmmm...I'm glad you did" I said as I snuggled up against my pillow.
"Baby, I'm too far away for you to use your sexy voice" He said. All I could do was giggle.
"Hey, how how's it going?" Jase said but I knew he wasn't talking to me. Then I heard a man’s voice in the background.
"Hey Lainey, I gotta let you go. I'll call you when I get to my room."
"Ok, be careful."
"Ok. I'll talk to you soon. Bye"
"Bye"
I waited for a while for Jase to call back, but then felt myself sink into my bed. I was exhausted. The ding of a text message woke me up.
Jase: Sorry, I didn't call you back. Hand didn't show, had to find a replacement.
I had learned from conversations with Jase that "hand" meant one of his workers. I was getting better with the oilfield lingo.
Me: It's ok. :)
Jase: Were you sleeping?
Me: Kinda. But I'm glad you texted me
Jase: Do me a favor?
Me: ?
Jase: Send me a pic
Me: Of me now? I'm in pjs and no makeup :/
Jase: Sounds sexy. Please?
So I did. I sent the best picture I could manage out of the ten that I took. I looked sleepy but it wasn't bad.
Jase: Damn. I think that made it worse for me. So fucking beautiful.
Me: LOL. Your turn.
A couple of minutes later, his text came through. Holy Shit! He shaved! There he was. He was so beautiful, even with a baby face. Those emerald green eyes mesmerized me. But I could tell by the look on his face he didn't like to be clean shaven.
Me: OMG! You have dimples!!! Gorgeous!
Jase: Well don't get used to it. I gotta shave for work. You'll never see me like this if I'm not working.
Me: I love that face either way!
I hit the send button before I even realized what I typed. Son of a bitch. I changed the subject quickly hoping he wouldn't think anything of it.
Me: You gotta get up early, you better get some sleep.
