by Jenner, Kris
“Mom, are you okay?” Kim said. “Mom, you look beautiful.”
“Kris, I love you,” said Shelli. “Everything went great.”
Kim explained that we were going to get into the ambulance to take me to the recovery center, which was a beautiful private hotel. I was wheeled out of the office. I felt a breeze outside. I remember the sirens starting and then I realized I was waking up in the middle of the night. For a moment I wondered where I was. I looked over and saw Kimberly sleeping on a rollaway bed on the floor, not a stitch of makeup on, in her pajama top, wearing a pair of leggings and these little socks she sleeps in. And I just thought, Wow, you must have done something right, because here’s your kid at three in the morning—a woman who has a lot of things on her mind today, including planning her own wedding—sleeping on the floor beside you because she doesn’t want to leave your side.
I closed my eyes, and I thought, We can do anything together—me, my kids, my husband; my family and I—and all that matters in the whole world is being loved. That’s what life is all about.
Once again, I had that familiar feeling: This is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Somehow, I made it through everything and ended up right here. I survived adversity and suffered enormous, tremendous personal loss. I grieved loved ones and drifted away from lifelong friends. But somehow, some way, through the grace of God, I made it through and ended up standing on my feet, stronger than ever.
I believe we are all God’s children put here for a very specific reason, and I believe everything happens for a reason. We are here on this journey to help someone else, encourage someone else, and be a blessing to someone else. If I was put here on earth to only give birth to my babies, I would have been so happy and satisfied with that. But I am so grateful that I was able to do that and then so much more, to strive for perfection, to reach for the stars, to grow, nurture, mentor, befriend, advise, learn, admire, experience, and love. Wow, what a life it has been. What blessings I have received. What love I was able to give and to get. What an amazing world it is that has allowed a wife and mother like me to begin again at age fifty.
We all need a passion and a purpose. When I was young, it was having babies and raising kids. Now it’s running my kids’ careers and keeping up with my husband. My days are so full I don’t know what to do, but I love every single second of it. I often listen to my mom tell me about her day at her children’s shop, Shannon & Co., in La Jolla. I sit on the phone and commiserate with her about a long, hard day, while deep inside I am praising God that she has her work because I honestly believe it keeps her young. Our work and our passion light us up. One of my dear friends, Kathie Lee Gifford, tells me often that she remembers what her dad used to tell her: “Figure out what you love to do in life and then figure out a way to get paid for it.” Those words were my mantra for many years and actually encouraged me to soldier on when I felt defeated if something didn’t work out the way I had planned. I would often think to myself, Okay, well, then, if this isn’t my career path. So NEXT! I know we will live longer and happier lives with a passion and a purpose. It’s often said that life is a dance, and I am continually learning new steps.
My family and I have a platform. That’s a privilege, and we don’t ever want to abuse the support and love everyone has given us. Now, it will be up to each and everyone of us in my family individually to decide what we want to do with that platform and how we can influence someone else in a positive way. With mine, I hope to encourage someone else to be a better mother, a better wife, a better lover, and a better friend. I hope to show women at any age that you can follow your dreams and still become whatever it is you set your mind to, no matter how big the dream. I would like to communicate that hard work and perseverance really do pay off.
As I’ve repeatedly written, all I ever wanted to do in my life was be a wife and mother and have six kids. Well, I’m living my dream, and I’m lucky enough for whatever reason to be living it on life’s biggest stage: television! I love what I do, and I thank God every single day for these blessings. He obviously has a bigger plan for my life. My job and responsibility now is to pay attention and be a good steward with the gifts I have been given. To surround myself with good, positive energy and be ready for the next stage. One of the most important things I live by is by all means never to take myself too seriously and for goodness’ sake have a sense of humor. I can’t tell you how many times I stop myself cold in my tracks every day and remind myself to laugh . . . and to lighten up! Having a good sense of humor has helped me through so many trying times and honestly helped me with my stress level. My message is to Pay Attention! You never know what you are going to learn. I learned so much when I was young just sitting in on a business meeting, gaining information for my life to come, developing skills I never in a million years thought I would need to use. I am grateful to those who were kind to me, and especially those who have stopped along the way to lend a bit of encouragement or advice or offer even a hug.
I know people say we are “famous for being famous.” But I know we are famous because we work hard and we never stop trying to be better people, have better television shows, create better stores, develop better clothing lines, forge amazing partnerships, and work hard at maintaining our beautiful personal relationships with family and friends. We are having the time of our lives in this fickle world of fame and fortune. But it’s the work and the family, not the fame, that holds it all together. As one of our producers said in our E! True Hollywood Story, “Fame may come and go, but family is forever.”
I get the game, and I am up for the challenges that lie ahead, just as long as they start with a K.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To my wonderful collaborator, Mark Seal, who helped breathe life into my memoir.
Charles Suitt and Karen Hunter, who encouraged me to share my life and my story.
The amazing team at Simon & Schuster—Louise Burke, Brigitte Smith, Anthony Ziccardi, Sally Franklin, Jen Robinson, and Andrea DeWerd—for your hard work and the countless hours spent making my memoir a success.
My mother and father, Mary Jo and Harry Shannon. Without you, this book would not exist. Dad, I miss you every day.
Nicole Brown Simpson, who lives in my heart every day and her beautiful family—Judi, Lou, Tanya, Minnie, and Denise Brown. Your strength continues to inspire me.
My team at Jenner Communications, who I could not live without: Noelle Keshishian, Liz Roman, Karen Johnson, Jesse Daniels, and Ronda Kamihira. Thank you so much for supporting me each and every day. I love you all.
Cici Bussey for being the best cheerleader I have ever had. You are a shining light in my life.
Shelli Azoff for always standing by my side through thick and thin no matter what and for being the best friend a girl could ever have.
To my dolls, Sheila Kolker, Joyce Kraines, Lisa Miles, and Celeste Macer, for a lifetime of memories and your love and friendship.
To Kathie Lee Gifford, for your love, friendship, encouragement, prayer, and endless laughs and memories. I adore you.
To Ryan Seacrest for believing in us as a family and for your love and friendship.
My PR powerhouse Jill Fritzo at PMK*BNC. You are a rock star!
Of course, my Glam Squad: Alex Roldan and Joyce Bonelli. Thank you for making me look and feel fabulous every day!
To Farnaz Farjam and our producers at Bunim/Murray Productions—you are all truly my second family and I love you.
To E!: Lisa Berger, Suzanne Kolb, Jason Sarlanis, and Damla Dogan. Thank you for one of the most amazing journeys of a lifetime, and of course, for all of the priceless home movies! And to our PR team at E!: John Rizzotti and Christel Wheeler, for all of your hard work and dedication. I love you.
To Ted Harbert for saying,“YES,” and really meaning it. My family truly loves you!
To my husband, Bruce, for twenty years of unwavering love, happiness and support. And to my children, Kourtney, Kimberly, Khloé, Rob, Kendall, and Kylie
, and my grandson, Mason, for giving me my passion for life. And to my son-in-law Lamar for showing me perseverance and undeniable strength. I love you all.
And lastly, Robert Kardashian . . . thank you for being our guardian angel and watching over us from up above.
1973: My high school graduation.
Starting my life as a flight attendant. College wasn’t for me.
1977: First ski trip with Robert, Aspen.
Robert with his two Rolls-Royces. He was pretty extravagant. And I loved him.
1978: At my engagement party.
Robert’s and my wedding party.
Cutting the cake at our Big Fat Armenian Wedding.
1978: Honeymoon in Auberge de Noves, France.
Pregnant with Kourtney.
I just gave birth to our first baby, Kourtney.
Proud Grandma! My mom with Kourtney at her first birthday party.
Kim’s first Christmas with big sister Kourtney.
Kim’s first birthday.
1981, Christmas. Robert playing Santa and Kim putting up a fuss.
Robert and his parents.
Mom and stepdad Harry.
1985, Christmas. Kim, baby Khloé, and Kourtney (left to right). Khloé’s first Christmas.
Me and Robert with Kim and Khloé (in Robert’s arm) in the play area near the tennis court.
Khloé at age 2.
Pregnant with Rob, my first boy.
My two Roberts at baby Rob’s second birthday party.
Rob and family friend, baseball Hall of Famer Steve Garvey.
Power couples. Me and Robert, O.J. and Nicole.
Nicole, O.J., me, and Robert. For a while, we were inseparable.
On the slopes with O.J. and Nicole. It was O.J.’s first ski trip.
Robert’s 40th birthday bash. this is me with then “big brother” O.J.
Taco Night. You know how I love to cook. that’s Nicole feeding me a chip.
Me and my parents.
Grandma, grandpa, and me with the kids.
The family wedding portrait.
Bruce loves being daddy!
Our Brady Bunch on steroids. Bruce with his four and me with my four, Christmas 1990.
Me and Bruce with Candace and Steve Garvey.
Me and Bruce with our friends Kathie lee and Frank Gifford.
Me, Bruce, and O.J. (and Steve Garvey, far left). Ironically, O.J. is friends with Bruce, too.
1991: Me and my man.
Me and the love of my life, Bruce Jenner.
Easter 1994: After one of my famous easter egg hunts. this was our last vacation with O.J. and Nicole.
Me and Nicole. If I only knew the pain behind that smile...
Me, Bruce, Nicole, and O.J. with our kids.
Family Fitness—one of our business ventures takes off.
Khloé, Bruce, Me, and Rob at an event in front of Bruce’s olympic Gold medal Sports Illustrated cover.
Keepin’ Up with the Kardashians—this is how it started.
Keepin’ Up with the Kardashians—our family keeps growing.
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