by Jenna Jacob
“I’m taking Miss O’Connor to Highland Park Hospital,” Kellan stated flatly. “She can answer your questions there, when she’s able.”
“We’ll be there shortly, Judge.” An older officer nodded curtly.
Kellan’s anonymity had been shattered because of her.
A wave of guilt crashed through Mercy as he carried her out the door. He eased her into the passenger seat of his car before sprinting around the vehicle and sliding in behind the wheel.
“Oh, god. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it, angel,” Kellan said.
“How can I not? It’s my fault you were recognized at the club.”
“No. It’s not your fault. I could have sought refuge in one of the members’ rooms while Mika or Sam drove you to the hospital. I outed myself. It was my own choice.”
“What happens now?”
Kellan shrugged. “Nothing. I’ll talk to Officer Amblin at the hospital. He’ll take care of everything. Don’t worry. All I want you focusing on is getting better.”
“As soon as this headache goes away, I’ll be fine.”
Kellan reached down and threaded his fingers through hers as he sped toward the hospital. Mercy wondered if she’d ever grow accustomed to the inexplicable heat that raced through her when he touched her. She hoped not.
When he turned onto one of the busier thoroughfares, the headlights of oncoming traffic pierced her skull like a knife. Mercy closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
“Come on, angel. You have to wake up.” Kellan’s insistent tone pulled her from the darkness and resonated in her ears like a damn foghorn.
“Stop yelling,” she groaned. “I’m awake.”
“Then open your eyes.”
“I can’t. The light hurts.”
“Okay, but you’re going to have to talk to me so you don’t try to go back to sleep.”
“God, you’re bossy,” she groused.
“Thank you. It’s my job.”
Mercy felt his smile in the tone of his words.
“You pick the topic. My head hurts too bad to think.”
“Tell me about growing up in Texas. Did you have horses?”
“Uh-huh. A pretty tan-and-white mare named Abigail. She was surefooted and fast as the wind.”
“Do you still ride?”
“Around here? Not hardly,” Mercy snorted. She immediately regretted the action and cupped her forehead. “I wish. I miss it.”
“There’s a place in Peoria where I like to ride. It’s called Coyote Trails. I’ll take you there once you’ve healed.”
“Really?” Her eyes flew open wide. She regretted that move as well and quickly snapped her lids shut. “That would be wonderful. How long have you been riding?”
“Years. I love it.”
“Where did you grow up, Kellan?”
“Sun Valley. It’s a small town in Idaho on the southwest edge of the Salmon-Challis National Forest. I spent a lot of time snow skiing in the winter and fishing in the summer.”
“I love to fish. God, I haven’t fished in forever,” she said on a wistful sigh. “When I go home for Christmas, I’m going to do both…ride and fish.”
“That sounds like a wonderful vacation.”
“You should come with me for Christmas,” she blurted out unexpectedly, followed by an inward groan.
The man doesn’t want to teach you submission or probably even kiss you again. He sure as hell isn’t going to spend Christmas with you and your wild family.
“What?” Kellan choked.
“Nothing. It’s the pain talking. Just ignore me.”
“I wish I could, angel, but I can’t,” he mumbled under his breath.
“Can’t what? Come for Christmas or ignore me?”
“Both.”
His confession ignited a flicker of hope inside her. Self-preservation warned to keep the flame no more than a sputter, or she’d be dealing with more than a bitchin’ headache.
When Kellan pulled up to the entrance of the ER, he squeezed her hand. “Sit tight. I’ll get a wheelchair.”
“I can walk.”
“I know you can, but you’re not going to. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.” Though she grumbled her reply, Mercy savored the Dominant command he unknowingly sprinkled over her.
CHAPTER FOUR
Kellan stared at the beautiful sub as she lay, eyes closed, in the dimly lit exam room. She looked so fragile, so vulnerable, but Mercy was a trooper. After answering officer Amblin’s questions and filing yet another assault charge against Kerr, she was sent off for a cat scan. He’d been climbing the walls for hours, though he’d somehow maintained a calm outward veneer. He couldn’t shut off his brain…couldn’t keep from projecting gruesome forms of torture Kerr might have inflicted had Kellan not followed her out of the club.
A crushing helplessness settled deep in his bones.
He didn’t know how to keep her at arm’s length and safe at the same time.
It didn’t help that for the second time today, he was perched next to a hospital bed—first next to Leena, and now beside Mercy—being chewed alive beneath the jaws of powerlessness. Being chained and bound to circumstances beyond his control left him feeling weak and impotent.
He was a fucking Dom! But the goddamn stars kept aligning themselves in ways that tested his command at every turn. Kellan knew it wasn’t only his command that was being tested but his resolve as well.
Mercy dented his Dominant armor in ways no other submissive ever had. He had no business harboring such intense feelings for the girl, but again…he was powerless to block her from his brain and his heart.
Of course, if Leena were still with him, mentally, this bloody battle inside him wouldn’t be raging. Kellan wouldn’t have even looked twice at Mercy.
Guilt stabbed deep.
Everything he wanted to do to the girl was wrong on every moral level.
Kellan bit back a howl of frustration and dragged a hand through his hair.
He shouldn’t be here.
Shouldn’t be tempting himself with what he couldn’t have, and he sure as fuck shouldn’t have kissed her. He scoffed inwardly. It was the single stupidest thing he’d done in years. He foolishly convinced himself that if he simply sated his curiosity and tasted those plump, sweet lips of hers, he could purge her from his system.
Idiot.
All he’d accomplished was fanning the embers of desire into a roaring inferno he’d never be able to put out.
Her lips were as soft as velvet, her tongue like silk. He could live to be a million and still not wipe the taste of her from his soul. She was branded in his psyche now, and nothing he could do or say would change that.
Could he live with only the memory of that one incredible moment when he’d claimed her mouth without going insane?
Good luck.
Even his subconscious knew it wasn’t possible.
It had been five grueling years since he’d kissed a woman with such mind-blowing passion. Mercy had made him feel alive once more. Kellan wanted to savor that awakening. Strip her naked and drown in her lush body more than he’d wanted his next breath. Remembering the feel of her hard, pointed nipple on his thumb was a hell all its own. But dammit, he couldn’t lead her on and he certainly couldn’t continue to keep mind-fucking himself. Somehow, he had to find the strength to fight his overwhelming attraction to Mercy.
It wasn’t fair to her, him, or Leena.
He’d made a vow, twenty-five years ago, to love, honor, and respect…until death parted them. The empty years without Leena had made him weak. He’d bent his vow as far as he could. While Kellan wasn’t proud that he’d drawn up a purely physical contract with Natalie, slaking his sexual needs with her was worlds apart from the way his soul slipped away when he sank inside Mercy’s mouth. He couldn’t allow the still roaring blaze inside to consume him.
The realization of how brutally he’d tarnished his promise to Leena terrified Kellan.
“Good news,” Brooks announced as he strolled into the exam room. “There’s no sign of any brain bleeds or broken bones. That bump on the back of your head will be sore, but no stitches were necessary. I know you’re happy about that. You do have a slight concussion, which explains your wicked headache.”
“I don’t have a headache…not anymore,” Mercy slurred. Her eyes were barely slit open. “Whatever you gave me is workin’ juss’ fine.”
Kellan wanted to laugh at the drugged-out crooked smile curled on her mouth.
“I’m afraid when that shot wears off, you’ll be singing a different tune.” Brooks grinned as he handed Kellan a stack of papers and a small bag. “I raided the drug cabinet. You’ve got plenty of pain meds to get her through the night. There’s a prescription for more in the bag if she should needs them. For tonight, though, you’ll need to wake her every four hours. If she’s in pain, you can give her one or two pills, but no more than two every four hours. Other than that, you’re free to take her home.”
You’ll need to wake her every four hours. You’ll need to wake her every four hours.
Brooks’ instructions spooled through Kellan’s head as a wave of panic spilled through him. His sole focus had been on getting Mercy the medical attention she needed. He hadn’t even thought about what he would do with her after they left the hospital…until now.
You didn’t suppose you could just drop her off at her apartment and drive away, did you? the little voice in the back of his head mocked.
No. He hadn’t supposed anything! That was the problem.
The fact that he’d be spending the night, sleeping under the same fucking roof as Mercy, gave new meaning to the word control.
He was so fucked.
While his heart tried to leap out of his chest, Kellan nodded to Brooks.
“I’ll take her home with me and keep a close eye on her.” Though the words rolled off his tongue easily enough, Kellan’s gut twisted.
He’d just made the most potentially dangerous decision of his life. Even Mercy turned a glassy-eyed stare at him that screamed, Are you fucking crazy?
Probably. But she was the cause of his insanity.
“You don’t have to babysit me, Kellan. I can set an alarm and take my meds like a big girl.”
“I’m sure you can,” Brooks replied in a placating tone he probably reserved for children and patients high on pain meds. “But you have no business being alone tonight. You need to be fully awakened every four hours.” The doctor then turned a serious expression toward Kellan. “Make sure she wakes up. If you can’t—”
“If I can’t wake her, I’ll call 911. I know the drill. Believe me, I’m not taking any chances with her safety. I had a couple concussions playing football back in high school.”
“All right.” Brooks pinned Mercy with a stern and serious glare. “Now for the part you won’t like. No driving, reading, television, computers, or other electronics for at least a week. You need to let your brain and body rest.”
“A week?” Mercy gasped.
“A week…at least,” Brooks repeated.
“Yes, Sir.” She scowled.
Kellan studied her carefully. It might have been the drugs, but Mercy had given in way too easily. If she thought she was going to blow off Sam’s orders, Kellan had news for his feisty live-in—good god, what have I done?—patient.
He intended to keep Mercy’s sassy ass on the straight and narrow even if he had to tie her to the bed.
The idea made his cock stir to life; but then she always managed to make him hard enough to pound railroad spikes by just breathing.
Son of a bitch!
The drive to Kellan’s home was…enlightening.
Mercy was so whacked out on pain meds she rambled non-stop. Her lack of filter was educational and amusing as hell. There were times it was all he could do not to laugh out loud, but that might have caused her to be quiet. That’s the last thing Kellan wanted.
“I mean, pepperoni pizza is the bomb, but nothing beats a calzone…if it’s made right, that is. Some places don’t know how to cook ’em. The insides are all doughy and gross. It tastes nasty that way, you know?”
“Uh-huh.” He smirked.
“What’s your favorite food?”
“Steak.”
“Oh, I love steak. Mmm!”
The low, sultry moan that bubbled from the back of her throat made Kellan want to pull over, unzip his pants, and make her fucking scream.
“I love all kinds of meat, actually,” she continued.
I have some hot, hard meat you can wrap your pretty lips around, right here, angel.
Kellan frowned at the pubescent thoughts swirling in his head. Even if he could bring to life the images filling his mind, like a kick-ass porn flick, Mercy wasn’t in any shape to play the starring role the way he wanted.
A hot shower and his fist were the only relief to be found for the boner Kellan was sporting…after he had Mercy settled in his guest room and fast asleep.
“How long have you been in the lifestyle?” Before he could answer, Mercy continued. “I bet forever. You’ve got that Dom vibe down pat. It’s”—she sighed wistfully—“intimidating in a deliciously naughty sort of way. But you know that I mean, you know you ooze command, right? I still don’t get it, Kellan. Why won’t you train me? Do you already have a sub you’re hiding?”
Oh, fuck. Not this again.
Kellan didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t going to lie, but this wasn’t the time or the place to start discussing Leena. Hopefully, if he was lucky, Mercy wouldn’t remember any of this conversation in the morning.
“You’ve already asked me why I won’t train you.”
“I know,” she replied as if he were thick as a stump. “But you won’t answer me. Will you answer me now?”
“No.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”
“Yes.”
“You’re nothing but a big ol’ party pooper, judge, jury, and justice, Sir.”
Kellan bit his tongue to keep from laughing. When she stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout, he clamped down even harder to keep from groaning. Christ, he wanted to suck that luscious plump flesh between his teeth and feast on her mouth for days.
Focus! You’re driving.
“So how many subs have you had?”
“One.”
“Just one?” Mercy blinked in surprise. “What happened? No, never mind. You won’t tell me anyway. I should just shut up and stop asking questions.” Mercy paused long enough to draw in another breath before she was off again. “Did she leave you? Or did you release her? Does she live here in Chicago? How long have you lived in Chicago, by the way?”
Kellan cracked a smile. She reminded him of Hannah when she was three. His daughter was a magpie who asked more questions than there were minutes in a year.
“Aw, come on. Don’t be a poop. You know all kinds of things about me,” Mercy drawled.
She twisted in her seat and leaned forward, flashing him a mischievous grin.
God, she was so damn adorable.
“You’re quite a puzzle, Kellan Graham, but I’m determined to figure you out…one of these days.”
“You are, huh?”
“Oh, yeah. I wanna know what flips your buttons, floats your boat, and makes you tick.”
You!
“Why do people say that all the time? I mean, nobody really ticks,” she pondered aloud. “And why wouldn’t a boat float…unless it had a hole in it? But then it would just sink. Right?”
“It would.”
Mercy paused. He could feel her staring at him but kept his eyes on the road.
“Why are you being so nice to me? I mean…you usually act like I piss you off. You’re always snarly and grouchy…well, except for
when Kerr’s around. Then you’re like a knight on a white horse.”
“I’m no knight, angel.”
“Yes you are. You may not want to be, but you are. Guess you’re gonna just have to deal with it,” she giggled. “I think behind that all that badass Dom exterior, you’re nothing but a big ol’ cuddly bear.” Pausing once more, she gazed out the window. “I haven’t cuddled anyone for, well…forever.”
Her voice had dropped to barely a whisper and was suffused in so much sadness it stung his heart.
“Why not?”
“Because the guy I dated when I first moved here ended up dumping me for a yoga instructor. I should have been happy. He was a jerk. He actually called me a freak because I wanted him to spank me. That’s okay. I’m fine with being a freak. In fact, I’m better off without him, ’cause it never would have worked out, anyway. He was too uptight and really lousy in bed. That was a serious disappointment, I’ll tell you what. He had a decent cock but had no idea how to use it.”
Kellan exhaled a soft chuckle. Yeah, if she remembered any of this conversation in the morning, she’d be mortified.
“That’s when I started checking out older men, like you,” she continued. “I bet you have a decent cock, too. But more importantly…I bet you know exactly how to use it. Don’t you?”
“I’ve never had any complaints,” he managed to choke out, dreaming about all the ways he’d like to prove that to her.
“I’d be happy to rate you if you want me to,” she giggled.
The air stilled in his lungs. A cold sweat broke out over his face. Mercy was trying to seduce him like some crazy reversal of Mrs. Robinson. It was killing him. He didn’t know how to respond without crushing her feelings.
Fuck!
“You know, I fantasize about you all the time when I’m…well, you know, masturbating.”
Don’t…don’t ask!
“What do you imagine me doing to you, angel?” His voice came out raspy and low.
Fucking masochist! his conscious barked.
