by Debra Kayn
Against the doctor's orders, Cam checked himself out of the hospital a week ago. She gazed up at him. Almost losing his life aged him.
The deep wrinkles at the corner of Cam's eyes a constant reminder of the stress and pain he dealt with every single day. His black and gray beard brushed his chest, hiding the jaw he clenched. She could tell he ground his teeth, because the skin across his broad cheekbones twitched like the ticking of a clock.
Bile burned her throat. A week ago, her world crashed around her.
Merk, Vice President of the MC, shot Cam. While Cam fought for his life, the Feds arrested Merk for murdering some judge and shooting Cam. The details remained sketchy. In the chaos that erupted, all she could remember was hearing the blast from the gun and watching the man she loved fall to his knees.
While Cam underwent emergency surgery to repair the lung damaged by the bullet, Jeremy, Cam's eighteen-year-old son, ran away. She pressed her hand against her empty stomach.
Except Cam wasn't Jeremy's real father.
The Moroad members found out Tiff, Jeremy's girlfriend, shared the truth about Cam forging the DNA papers on Jeremy. Cam had stolen Jeremy out of the foster system and brought him home to Moroad Motorcycle Club, all for the sake of kidnapping Christina. She moistened her lips. If only she'd stood up to Cam at the beginning, none of this would've happened.
Jeremy would be safe.
Merk would be free.
Cam would be...
She swallowed. Cam would still be Cam.
He'd still be the man she'd anonymously written to in prison before any of this happened.
He'd still be the man she obsessively loved.
He'd still convince her she was better off with him than without.
What about Jeremy? Would he be better off away from Moroad? She didn't think so.
For three years, Jeremy believed Cam was his real father. He'd survived Cam's eighteen-month sentence in prison and was overjoyed to sign up with Moroad to become a lifer. Why would Jeremy run? He understood the oath he'd taken for the club. Death was the only way someone could leave the Moroad MC.
Conversations buzzed over her head. She slipped out from underneath Cam's hand and stood.
"Baby?" Cam asked. "Where are you going?"
She leaned down and kissed him. "I need to start dinner."
The bikers stepped back, giving her room. She hesitated in the foyer and glanced over her shoulder. Cam's attention went back to his MC brothers. She grabbed her purse and slipped out the front door. She barely made it to the rocker and a moan escaped. She drew her feet up on the chair and held on to her legs. Somehow, doing what she needed to do went against everything Cam wanted her to believe.
If she could talk with Jeremy, make him understand the benefits of living with Cam, he'd understand. While not related by blood, Cam gave Jeremy his version of a family. He wasn't alone. She loved Jeremy. Cam cared for him. The other members liked him.
Jeremy belonged at home.
The front door opened and banged shut. She turned her head. Gunner, one of the Moroad MC members, inhaled deeply and leaned against the house.
"Cam wants you to come inside and fix dinner, like you told him you were doing." Gunner crossed his arms. The devil tattoo on his bicep taunted her.
"I will when I'm ready," she said.
"He said you'd say that, so he wants me to bring you inside." Gunner shook his head and his jaw tightened. "I'm sorry, Christina. I need to do what my president orders."
She unfolded her legs and stood. For the first time, she understood why she'd grabbed her purse and what she needed to do. "You're not touching me."
Gunner stepped toward her. She moved backward, clutching her purse to her side.
Gunner reached out for her. "Let's go in."
She slapped his hand. "I hate you."
"No, you don't."
"I hate all of you. I hate what Moroad stands for. You...you're all a bunch of criminals who don't give a shit about anyone, but yourself. Jeremy's missing. He's been gone for six days, and all of you sit around the house like it's no big deal."
"We'll find him." Gunner's gaze bore into hers. "Cam's going out in the morning by himself. He'll bring Jeremy home."
"He doesn't know where Jeremy is, and he can barely move around without hurting." She sidestepped when Gunner took another step and reached into her purse. "Tell Cam..."
"Christina, don't do this." Gunner shook his head. "Listen to him."
Her foot reached the edge of the porch. She turned, skipped the steps, and jumped down into the grass. She hit the ground running across the yard. Until Gunner had come outside to retrieve her for Cam, she hadn't made up her mind on what to do.
She was going to find Jeremy before Cam or the Moroad MC members could kill him.
She opened the unlocked truck, slammed the door, and hit the lock button. Gunner smacked his hand against the window. She forced the key into the ignition.
"Christina. Open the door," Gunner said.
The engine sputtered. "Come on, you piece of shit."
She tried again, pumping the gas pedal. The old beast roared to life. She put the truck into gear and tore out of the driveway without looking back. Gunner would follow her. It wouldn't take Cam long to come after her too, once the news of her leaving got back to him.
All she had to do was make it into town. Not even Cam would risk taking her back to the house if the citizens of Federal witnessed her throwing the biggest fit she'd ever had in her life. She had ten minutes to get to town and then she'd be free of Moroad.
The truck bounced over the gravel. She glanced in the rearview mirror, holding on to the steering wheel to keep control, and pushed her foot down harder on the accelerator. None of the bikers could stop her in the truck, or she'd run them over.
She hit the asphalt road at fifty miles per hour. Airborne off the seat, she fought to keep the truck straight. Her heart raced, paranoid Moroad members would catch her before she reached the town's limit or the sheriff would be parked under the viaduct and clock her going over the speed limit.
The engine sputtered. She glanced behind her. Nobody followed.
"Shit. No, no, no. One more mile. Only one more." She slowed down, pampering the old, unreliable truck, and spotted the viaduct ahead.
A quick study of the area, and she relaxed. The only car parked underneath the concrete interstate appeared to belong to someone fishing along the river. She turned into the covered parking lot, grabbed her purse, and walked into town.
Three steps forward, look behind her, three more steps, and turn her head. At the end of the block in front of the Sheriff's Department, she stopped. Her heart raced and the muscles in her thighs burned from the exertion of speed walking and her anxiety over leaving the house.
Men's voices came from behind her. She whirled around and stared at Sheriff Colby and one of his deputies leaving the building. Caught in a panic, she smiled—unable to stop her chin trembling.
Sheriff Colby walked down the three steps to the sidewalk, tilted his head, and studied her. "Christina, is everything okay?"
The deputy walked to his patrol car parked at the curb. She glanced at the sidewalk, across the street at the parking lot in front of Country Mart, up the road to the bank across from her old apartment, and over to the viaduct. Her shoulders rolled forward. There was not one sign of a biker in town.
Katie and Lola walked out of Cleo's Coffee Cave talking and carrying a beige coffee cup. She stared at the Moroad women, willing them to look across the street, to see her devastation over losing Jeremy, and offer to help.
But her friends rounded the corner, caught up in a private conversation, and walked out of her sight without spotting her in town. She sucked in air. Ten minutes away from the club, and no one cared. No one looked for her. No one understood how deeply Cam's crime ruined her life.
"Christina?"
She turned back around. "What?"
Unable to face the truth they'd all abandoned her
, she strained to hear the rumble of a motorcycle engine. She squinted, peering down the road. Cam allowed her to run away.
Why would Cam keep Gunner from following her and bringing her back home? She rocked back on her heels and pressed her hand to her forehead.
"Christina, are you okay?" Sheriff Colby blocked her view.
She shook her head and blinked, clearing her vision. All her effort and energy disappeared at the realization of her worthless attempt to bait Cam into coming after her and in turn, finding Jeremy.
"I'm fine." She cleared her breathless voice and tried again. "I'm fine."
Sheriff Colby led her over to the steps in front of the department's front door, out of the middle of the sidewalk. "I'm concerned about you. A lot has happened out at the Moroad MC's headquarters, and—"
"Excuse me." She stepped back. "Everything is fine, sheriff. I have errands to run."
Escaping the concern over her well-being, she strode down the sidewalk. She had no idea where she needed to go, but if Jeremy wasn't at the house, he had to be somewhere close. He wouldn't leave Federal. Deep in her heart, she believed he'd stay within the vicinity of where he belonged.
At the end of the block, she looked across the street to Cleo's Coffee Cave, letting her gaze wander up to the top windows where she used to live. Jacko, a recent parolee and member of Moroad MC, now lived in her old apartment. Had he already received a call from Cam with news she'd left the house? Was he watching?
She shaded her eyes with her hand and studied the glass. The building across the street reflected off the surface, blinding her to anyone inside.
A rumble of a motorcycle caught her attention, pulling her away from the apartment. She sucked in her breath and turned. Her instant relief hoping Cam came for her turned to nausea. The rider belonged to Bantorus Motorcycle Club, not Moroad MC.
Ink, a biker with Bantorus and along with his old lady owned Silver Girls, rode past her, lifting his chin. She blinked at the figure, lost in the consequences of her actions. For almost three years, she'd disassociated herself with the monstrous crimes Cam and Moroad brought into her life.
Her erratic beating heart choked her, drying her mouth. She shook her head. Caught between the disappointment over knowing no one came looking for her and the guilt she carried constantly eating away at her stomach, she stood lost and alone on the sidewalk. She could've demanded Cam treat Jeremy better or insisted Cam confess to the crime of stealing him out of the county's system before putting a life patch on him. She could've stopped the downward spiral of men losing their life, Merk ending up in prison, Cam being shot.
"Excuse me." A gentle touch on her arm left her gasping. "Are you okay?"
An older gentleman lowered his head and peered at her through his eyeglasses. Fear crawled up her throat and suffocated her. She nodded.
"Are you sure?" the stranger asked.
"Yes." She pulled away and wandered across the street.
Her eyes stung. Her ears roared. She swiped at her wet cheeks, realizing for the first time she was crying and not knowing when the tears had started.
She continued walking. One block, two blocks, three blocks. She cut across the street and entered the Federal Inn. She stood at the check-in desk, passed money over the counter, and grabbed a keycard. The woman's hand pointed over Christina's shoulder to the left. She followed the directions and rode the elevator up to the second floor.
In Room 26, she sat on the bed and pulled her cell out of her purse. The pounding in her head worsened. She stared at the unlit screen. Contradicting thoughts invaded common sense.
Cam hadn't called or texted.
What kind of person wanted the love of a felon? She wanted him, despite knowing he'd put her in the position of accepting whatever crime he committed next.
She set the phone down on the bed and whispered, "He'll come for me."
The Moroad members were probably talking Cam into staying home, while they came looking for her. Cam's wound still bothered him. He struggled for oxygen when he overexerted himself. They hadn't had sex in over a week. His main goal of going after Jeremy pushed him into taking care of himself when nothing else would, and she loved him for his dedication to the family.
Yet, his determination to deal with Jeremy scared her. Her legs trembled. She had to find Jeremy first and explain the ramifications of leaving Moroad MC, before Cam ended up killing him.
Once she found Jeremy and he went back to Moroad, she'd figure out what to do next. Cam would make her pay for leaving him. He'd never let her escape.
Author Bio
Top Selling Romance Author, Debra Kayn, lives with her family at the foot of the Bitterroot Mountains in beautiful Idaho. She enjoys riding motorcycles, playing tennis, fishing, and driving the men crazy in the garage.
Her love of family ties and laughter makes her a natural to write heartwarming contemporary stories to the delight of her readers. Oh, let's cut to the chase. She loves to write about REAL MEN and the WOMEN who love them.
When Debra was nineteen years old, a man kissed her without introducing himself. When they finally came up for air, the first words out of his mouth were...will you have my babies? Considering Debra's weakness for a sexy, badass man, who is strong enough to survive her attitude, she said yes. A quick wedding at the House of Amour and four babies later, she's living her own romance book.
Website: www.debrakayn.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/DebraKayn
Facebook: www.facebook.com/DebraKaynFanPage
Debra Kayn's Backlist
Wrapped Around Him – Moroad MC series
For Life – Moroad MC series
Breathing His Air – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Aching To Exhale – Lagsturns Motorcycle Club
Soothing His Madness – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Grasping for Freedom – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Fighting To Ride – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Struggling For Justice – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Starving For Vengeance – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Living A Beautiful War – Bantorus Motorcycle Club
Laying Down His Colors – Bantorus Motorcycle Club, anthology titled Melt My Heart
Archer, A Hard Body Novel, book 1
Weston, A Hard Body Novel, book 2
Biker Babe in Black, The Chromes and Wheels Gang, book 1
Ride Free, The Chromes and Wheels Gang, book 2
Healing Trace
Wildly, Playing For Hearts, book 1
Seductively, Playing For Hearts, book 2
Conveniently, Playing For Hearts, book 3
Secretly, Playing For Hearts, book 4
Surprisingly, Playing For Hearts, book 5
Chantilly's Cowboy, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 1
Val's Rancher, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 2
Margot's Lawman, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 3
Florentine's Hero, The Sisters of McDougal Ranch, book 4
Suite Cowboy
Hijinks
Resurrecting Charlie's Girl
Betraying the Prince
Love Rescued Me
Double Agent
Breaking Fire Code
Sample Chapter – Living A Beautiful War
Book 8, Bantorus Motorcycle Club series by Debra Kayn
Chapter One
In the back of the main room of the Sterling Building, three men shook hands with Kurt, Bantorus MC, Federal Charter's president. Ink rolled his lips over his teeth, uncomfortable with the scene playing out in front of him. Every Saturday for the last month, he'd witnessed the same three men single out and make contact with Kurt.
Usually, the only customers visiting Silver Girls —the only adult entertainment joint in Federal— were miners from the local silver mines. Ink studied the men. Dressed in worn jeans, shirts with the sleeves cut off, and black riding boots; Ink suspected they were bikers looking for a club. However, the serious expression on each man's face and
tightly controlled attitude was not a classic sign of eager, willing-to-please, hopeful prospects.
The men's attention focused on Kurt, not the girls dancing or the music blaring in the room. Ink drew his gaze away from the group and found Lilly standing several feet away from the huddle. Anyone else would think the daughter of the president of the mother club in Pitnam was doing her managerial job of watching over the dancers, but he knew differently. Lilly had her nose where it didn't belong and because of his lack of self-control, he couldn't do a damn thing about it.
He'd received his first official warning to stay away from Lilly six months ago when she came to Federal to be closer to him. If anyone caught him touching Lilly again, he'd have his patches stripped and be without a club.
Not that he had any opportunity to be alone with her since Kurt caught him with his hands and mouth on her. Lilly had stopped using every excuse to be around him lately. The most he got out of her was a shrug and the occasional middle finger before she stormed away. The stubborn girl was trying to protect him from getting in trouble.
As a result, he had the biggest case of blue balls ever and lived every day on the verge of kicking someone's ass, because Lilly was the only woman he wanted.
All natural blonde hair down to the top of her perky ass, eyes darker than whiskey and full of emotions, Lilly had the ability to stomp his heart. He leaned back against the wall. His body tense, he expected trouble. Until he found out what Kurt had going down on the side and Lilly was safe, he'd be on guard and protect her.
Because of the warning, there was nothing else he could do, but wait.
It seemed like he'd tried everything to forget about Lilly. He'd voluntarily left Pitnam, home to the Bantorus Motorcycle Club, four years ago and helped Kurt start the charter in Federal, Idaho, to get away from Lilly. His plan backfired. Distance only made Lilly more determined to come after him. She'd packed her bags, told no one she was traveling to the Silver Valley, and arrived with no clue what she was doing to him.
