by Iris Bolling
“You enjoy that,” Joshua said as he held the door open for the Secretary to get in.
He then saw Brian and Calvin coming through the door. “You should have been in there, man.” Brian said to Joshua. “You brought this one home for JD.”
“Roc will give me the blow by blow.”
Calvin and Brian glanced at each other. “Roc left.” A helicopter flew overhead. Joshua looked up then looked back at Brian. “What do you mean, she left?” he asked confused.
“She went home, as you should too.” Brian hit him on the shoulder as he and Calvin walked by to get into their vehicle.
“It’s been a hell of a twenty-four hours. I’m going home to my wife and kids just to hug them tight,” Calvin announced as he got into the vehicle.
“Yes, it has,” Joshua replied.
“Hey, you want to come over for a few drinks?” Brian asked. “Lord knows you deserve one or two.”
“I’m good. My bed is calling me. I’ll catch you on the next go round.”
“Then on that note, I hope my wife is waiting up for me. See you.” Brian waved as he pulled off.
Joshua stood there for a minute, watching the cars pull away. He got into his vehicle and started the engine. He looked over at the passenger seat and immediately missed Roc’s presence. “She could have at least said goodbye,” he huffed as he pulled off.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Quantico, VA
The first few days weren’t bad. Joshua hung out with his family who was ecstatic to have him home. The nights were hellish. Not in the way it was when things happened with Akande. In fact, tonight was the first time he had thought of her in weeks. Those tormented dreams of her had been replaced by the warmth of Roc’s body next to his. Not just at night, but during the day, when they were hanging out, killing a few bad guys. He smiled at the memory, as he lay in bed. He missed her voice singing whenever she was nervous, and that’s exactly what it was. It took him a minute to pick up on that, but whenever she was around him and became nervous she would just start singing and it would ease his soul as well as her own. He missed the way she would look at him whenever she knocked him on his ass and felt guilty about it. He missed the way she would make him work hard at getting back to battle form. He missed her lips, the way they curved into a little smile when she thought he wasn’t looking. He missed the way they felt against his, against his chest, his thighs, his…hell he missed her. Joshua threw the covers back. He was tired of everyone giving him the brush off when it came to her.
An hour later, at 4 am Joshua was standing at the foot of Samuel’s bed.
“You damn well better have a good reason for being here.”
Cynthia stretched, as she turned out of her husband’s embrace. “You knew he was coming sooner or later.” She pulled the cover up around her. “You should have had this talk weeks ago.”
Samuel kissed the back of his wife’s shoulder as he got out of bed. He glared at Joshua as if he wanted to kill him. “We’ll talk downstairs.”
“You better not wake up the children,” Cynthia cautioned as the men walked out the door. “You realize it’s four in the morning,” Samuel said as he turned the light on and walked into the kitchen.
“Did you sleep with Roc?”
Samuel’s hand was on the refrigerator door as he turned to Joshua. “No,” he opened the door took out two beers and threw one at Joshua. “What difference would it make if I did? You’re still in love with her and she is still in love with you.”
“I didn’t say…”
“You don’t have to say it Joshua. It’s written all over you.” Samuel pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, sat down, then put his feet up in the other chair. After a moment, Joshua twisted the top off his beer and Samuel did the same. The two men almost looked like twins sitting there, drinking their beer at the same time, holding their heads back in the same way. They even began laughing at the same time. “So what are you going to do?”
Joshua huffed, “I’m going to go get my woman.”
They saluted each other then took a drink. Samuel held his bottle. “Roc is a good person, damn good partner and not bad on the eyes. But she is vulnerable when it comes to you.”
“How would you know that?”
“She told me,” Samuel took another drink.
Joshua’s bottle stopped mid-way to his mouth. “You talked to Roc?”
Samuel shrugged, “Yes,” he smirked.
Joshua jumped up and rounded the table before Samuel could finish laughing at him. He grabbed Samuel by the lapel of his robe and pulled him up. The bottle fell to the floor crashing into several pieces. “Talk Sammy or I’m going to beat it out of you.”
Samuel boxed Joshua’s ears, causing his hands to loosen from his robe. He kicked out his long legs knocking Joshua’s legs from under him. Joshua fell, grabbing Samuel’s leg and pulling him down with him. The two began wrestling until they saw a pair of sexy legs standing over them with her hands on her hips and a very angry expression on her face. Samuel looked up with his arm around Joshua’s neck. Joshua had his hand in Samuel’s face. He spread his fingers apart so his brother could see his wife.
“Hi Sweetheart,” Samuel smiled.
“Really, Samuel.” Cynthia scolded. “Joshua, get up off my husband before I call your mother.”
Joshua couldn’t resist, he smushed Samuel in the face, stood, then extended his hand down to help his brother up. He walked over, kissed Cynthia on the cheek, then looked at Samuel.
“Handle your business like a man.”
Joshua smiled. “I have no choice, I have you to live up to.” Samuel turned to look at his wife and when he turned back, Joshua was gone.”
Samuel took his wife’s hand, turned off the kitchen light and for the first time in a few years, he did not have to worry about his brother.
❖❖❖
“I think you are going about this the wrong way Joshua,” Royce offered him a drink. “Before you seek out Roc, I think you need to close out Akande.”
“Akande has nothing to do with this.”
“She has everything to do with your attitude towards Roc, and you know it,” he sat down, took a sip of his drink then stared at Joshua. “You think you are still in love with Akande, but from what I saw, I think you were in love with the idea of being in love.”
Joshua stood, “The more I talk to politicians the more I believe none of you have good damn sense.”
Royce laughed. “Tell me this,” he pointed at Joshua with his drink in his hand. “Did you ever tell her you loved her?”
“What?” Joshua smirked. “What kind of question is that?”
“One that you are avoiding answering,” Royce sipped his drink. “Did you ever tell Akande you loved her or were in love with her? Did you ever use the word love in any conversation you had with her.”
“How many ways do you think you can ask the same question?”
“As many as it takes for you to ask yourself that question.” Royce sat his glass on the table, then bent forward clasping his hands together between his legs. “Joshua you came in here demanding information on Roc. Why?”
“I told you. I need to find her.”
“Why? Why is it so important to find her? Are you planning on being in her life? If so, how? You know Roc wants the white picket fence, the children along with the husband. Are you ready to change your life to give her that?” He sat back. “Before you step to Roc, you better be damn sure what it is you’re asking of her. More importantly, you need to know if you are ready to give her that. Again, I’m trying to lead you here son. My advice is for you to close that door with Akande, before you attempt to open the door with Roc or anyone else.”
Joshua left Royce’s home empty handed, just like with Ned, he refused to give him any information on Roc’s true identity. For some strange reason, he did not feel dejected. He had a renewed purpose. It was time for him to turn to a friend. The one he knew would always be there. He stopped and smiled. “Angel.
” he pulled out his Angel, then clicked on his Bible. He didn’t know the exact passage, so went to the search box. His last search was there, Healing the heart. He now knew the answer, but needed guidance. He typed in the word love. Several passages appeared. He searched through them until he found just the right one.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear:
because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made
perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
He wondered why he’d stopped dreaming about Akande, why he was no longer tormented by the mere thought of her. A smile of understanding appeared on his face. Without any fanfare, or drum roll, love had entered his heart. And it’s name is….that was the crux of his problem. He didn’t even know her name. He started the vehicle.
“For now, you’re going to continue to be Angel. And I will find you, my Angel. I will find you.”
❖❖❖
She looks like a Queen, Joshua thought as he stood in the shadows watching Akande. Strange, his heart wasn’t beating furiously, he didn’t have that feeling of doom that came over him the other times he had checked on her. He didn’t want to kill the man playing with the little girl, who looked just like her mother. No, he didn’t feel anything but happiness for the woman he’d once thought he loved. What he’d had with Akande was beautiful, but it wasn’t love. What they’d had was two lost souls in search of something that made them feel special. Akande because she’d never felt loved or cared for, him because he’d never felt he could live up to his older brother in his parent’s eyes. They’d filled a void for each other that neither had realized existed.
She sensed him, the moment he entered the room. There were other times, late at night when she thought he was with her, but when she looked around he was nowhere in sight. Today she knew he was in the room.
“Take, Teddie to her father,” Akande said to her maid. “Make sure he takes her to see her pony.” She kissed her daughter’s cheek.
The maid smiled as she took the child by the hand. “Yes, your highness, I will. Come along Teddy, let’s find your father.”
“Bye mommy,” the child giggled as she skipped behind her maid.
Akande, stood there watching as the daughter she loved beyond reason smiled back at her. Once the door closed behind them, she inhaled. “I will never allow a day to go by without showing her the love you showed me.”
Joshua stepped into view. “Hello Akande.” Her smile was radiant. She was as beautiful as the first day he’d met her.
“Hello Joshua,” she stepped towards him then stopped. She looked towards the door, then back to him.
“He’s downstairs in his library,” Joshua replied to her worried expression. He leaned against the wall. “Is he treating you well?”
A soft smile appeared on her face. “Raheem is a good man. He treats me well.” She looked him over. “What about you Joshua? How are you?”
He leaned against the wall, in his suit, noticing how content she was. The young innocent girl he met three years ago had been replaced with a beautiful woman. No, that’s not correct he thought. “You look like the Queen you are.” Emotions played across her face that he could not decipher.
“I hurt you with my decision. For that I am sorry. In truth, I would make the same decision today. It was what was right for my country, for me and for you.” She walked towards him. “You are not a King. You are a king maker.” she took his hand in hers. “I have been watching and following you since that day in Washington. You have done well for your country. Not so well for you. Has that changed?”
“I’m well,” he looked down at his hand in hers, then smiled up at her. “Did you love me?” Akande turned away, slowly releasing his hand. Her indigo and gold gown moved smoothly over her body. Strange, the sway of her body did not mesmerize him as it once did.
“I did,” she turned back to him, “and I still do. However, it is a different kind of love now. I love the man who taught me how to love and how to make love. It is a memory that I will cherish all my life. I now care deeply for my husband. It was rough going in the beginning, I will be honest about that.” She nodded her head, “I was not certain I could trust him,” she said after hesitating. “Now, I understand the reasons for his actions were honorable and I’ve come to care for him.
Joshua watched the blush come over her face. He couldn’t resist teasing her. “Really,” he raised an eyebrow. “But you don’t love him?”
Akande’s chin went up in defense. “Why is that important to you Joshua?”
Joshua shrugged. “I was wondering. Can he make love to you like I did? Does he make you scream and moan with the touch of his tongue? Do his lips make your mouth water when they are near,” he walked towards her. “Can he make love to you with his eyes?”
Akande stepped away from him in a bit of a panic. “Joshua, stop that this instant.”
“Are you hot right this minute for my touch?” He gently kissed her lips.
Akande pulled away, backing up until the wall stopped her. “Joshua,” she almost cried. “I am a married woman. It is wrong for me to lust after another man.”
Joshua leaned against the wall with his arms on either side of her. “It’s okay, Akande. Things are as they should be. I just had to make sure, before I moved on.”
She gazed into his eyes and that’s when her breath caught. “You’re in love with someone?” Joshua stepped back and smiled.
“Well,” Akande began to breathe again, does she like MacGyver or Jack Bauer?”
Joshua laughed, a rich deep laugh. “Jack Bauer.”
“I see,” Akande turned her head. “Will that be a point of contention in your marriage?”
“I did not say I was getting married.”
“Isn’t that your reason for coming here?” Akande stepped around him, to sit on the edge of the bed. “Destroying our cave wasn’t enough?”
“In a way, it was. Putting your ring there was supposed to close that chapter in my life. But, it didn’t. I carried that anger around for years. Now, I understand my time with you prepared me for her.”
Before she could respond, she had to stop the word ring from bouncing around in her head. She stood, then looked down at him. “You destroyed the ring?”
“It was my way of putting the past behind me.”
“Did it work? Are you now ready for your future?”
Joshua did not hesitate, “Yes, I am.” He smiled, then nodded his head. “I can only pray I haven’t lost her.”
“If someone loves you, truly loves you, you will never lose them. They will always be there.” She took a step back, then picked up the telephone. “Karin, would you place the black box on the dining room table in the west wing. I will be down shortly.” She turned back to him. “Would you meet me in the dining room? I have something for you.”
Joshua stood, “I could just walk downstairs with you.”
Akande shook her head. “You have ways of getting in and out of rooms unseen. This is one of those times I need you to do that.”
He walked over and opened the door. “I don’t think the King would mind.”
Akande, rushed over, then pulled the door from him. “My husband knows all about you Joshua. I think he would mind greatly.” She stepped out of the door. “I’m certain you can find your way,” she smiled then closed the door.
A few minutes later Akande walked into the dining room. On the table was a black box, next to it a gold serving tray lined with black velvet cloth. Akande opened the box, poured the contents out and smiled. She moved a few around with her hand until they were all lined up. She then placed another black velvet cloth over them, and took a seat, waiting for Joshua to appear. Her Joshua was in love. The thought pleased her for she knew he’d suffered at her hands. The woman, whoever she may be was sure to be very happy. Joshua was a wonderful human being and a very passionate lover. She had no idea what she was giving up until she had to make love with her husband. Was he a considerate man, yes. But the passion wa
s missing. She blamed herself for that. Her heart was lost to Joshua forever, but she would never tell him. The only way she could show just how much she loved him was to let him be happy.
“A penny for your thoughts.”
She looked up. Those powerful legs, that wide chest, those dimples and the essence of the man, his lips, were all a reminder of what they’d shared. “I think it’s time for someone to give back to a man who has given so much of himself.”
Joshua pulled out a chair, sat, stretched out and then crossed his legs at the ankle. “What did you have in mind?”
“A small token of our appreciation, but something I believe will get you the response your heart deserves.”
Frowning, Joshua watched as Akande pulled away the top layer of black velvet cloth from the tray on the table. To his astonishment, there were diamonds, all shapes and sizes, but raw diamonds.
“It would be my honor for you to accept any one of these to place on your wife’s finger. “
He looked at her, then back at the diamonds spread out on the cloth. “You can’t be serious.”
“But I am Joshua,” Akande stood. “I assure you they are of the finest quality there is. It would be my honor to know I had a small part in opening the next door to your future.”
Joshua looked over the stones. One sparkled like no other. It was rough, uncut, exquisite. It was Roc. He picked up the stone, held it up to the light. Akande held out a black velvet bag. Joshua dropped the stone inside. “Will one be enough?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Thank you,” he kissed her on the cheek, then turned towards the windows, he’d entered from. He stopped and without turning back he asked. “Your daughter’s name is Theodora. Is she my daughter?”
Akande immediately replied, “No.”
Joshua nodded his head, then walked out of her life.
Akande knew she had done the right thing. She prayed for the strength not to call him back to tell him the truth.
