by Toni Leland
Kurt set his glass down thoughtfully, apparently trying to pick up the thread of his story.
"I'd been at the farm for about five years. I was...uh, keeping the owner company..." He glanced at Liz's face. "...but I got lonely. Most women in the horse business are tough and cynical...they have to be to survive in such a highly competitive environment. Anyway, I met a young woman in town who had no connection with horses. She sold real estate, and was completely self-sufficient. She was charming and sexy, and we had a great time together. I needed female companionship, and she wasn't looking for a husband, so we were a good match."
A stab of jealousy surprised Liz. She didn't like to think of Kurt with anyone else. She also hadn't missed Kurt's veiled references to his intimate relationship with the rich widow. Is that the scandal Colleen's talking about? That's not such a big deal, not these days, anyway.
The cognac completely relaxed her. Kurt looked so vulnerable, pouring out his tragic story. She wanted to go to him, cradle his head against her breast, and tell him everything would be all right. She could make it all right, if he'd just let her.
Kurt shifted in his chair and continued. "Della didn't ever go to any of the small shows, but she always attended the big, important events and ‘put on the dog'. That year, her horses were winning every class at the regional show in Scottsdale. She was happy 'cause it gave her the chance to flaunt her farm - and me - to all the other owners. It bothered the hell outta me that she always acted so possessive when we were around other people in the industry. She made my status clear, without actually spelling it out."
He hung his head. "I felt like a damned gigolo." Another long pause. "Anyway, on stakes night, Della and I were at the barn. I was prepping the horses. She was putting on a show for her friends. My lady-friend, Dottie, had decided to surprise me, and in she walked, all dressed up and looking fabulous. She'd never met anyone from the farm, and she walked right past Della as if she weren't there. She had no clue that her arrival would cause a problem. She sidled up to me, slipped her arms around my waist, and kissed me.
"Long story short: manure hit the fan, boss-lady threw a fit, Dottie realized my relationship with Della, and walked out of my life forever. My name was M.U.D."
Liz tilted her head. "What does all this have to do with me and you?"
He looked away. "There's more."
A waiter appeared and set down two more cognacs. After he walked away, Kurt continued, looking down at the table.
"After the fireworks at that show, Della made me jump through hoops like a trained seal." A grim smile crossed his face. "The old saying, ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' is true. She was an absolute witch from that time on. I couldn't do anything right, and she made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that I was no longer welcome in her...uh, as her companion.
"I tried my damnedest to keep her happy...I didn't want to lose my job. I threw myself into my work, preparing to take seven horses to the national show in Albuquerque. I felt confident about six of them, but not so sure about a gelding she'd purchased earlier that year. He'd proven to be a good performance horse and he worked nicely in harness, but he had an unpredictable streak that occasionally surprised me. I told her I didn't think we should take a chance on him, but you can guess what she said."
Liz looked down at her empty glass, amazed that she'd finished it. She felt warm and sleepy. She gazed across the table at Kurt. I'd love to just curl up in your arms and drift away. A peculiar expression crossed his face. Uh-oh, I must have missed something.
He stood up. "You'll have to excuse me a minute. I need to see a man about a horse."
Kurt had watched Liz's face soften with the effects of the brandy, the fine angles of her cheek sculpted by the soft lights in the room, a dreamy look on her face. His earlier resolve began to fade, as he pictured her lying beneath him, her silky black hair spread over his pillow. The beautiful image softened the pain in his heart, a pain that had haunted him for much too long.
23
Liz watched him move across the room, her need growing deep inside, her thighs tingling with desire. Never before had a man affected her this way, and she delighted in the new sensation of her sexual excitement. She wanted to make love with Kurt - soon.
When he returned to the table, her heart thumped and she looked away, afraid he would see her raw desire.
He remained standing. "Are you ready to go? I think they're going to lock us in if we don't leave."
They walked through the cool mountain night air, Liz staying close to him, intentionally brushing his arm with hers and delighting in the tingle of contact. He helped her into the truck, then slid behind the wheel.
"I need to finish my story, Liz. This is the important part. Is it okay if we just sit here?"
His direct look sent chills of pleasure through her, the coziness of the truck cab enhancing her mood. She scooted closer to him on the seat. She'd agree to anything at this point, as long as he was near. His soft voice floated between them.
"On the day I was supposed to show that damned gelding in the pleasure driving class, the drug vets did a random check. Standard procedure, no big deal.
"Two days later, the report came back positive for a foreign substance in his blood. I couldn't figure out what had happened. He acted normal, and I sure hadn't given him anything. I was sure it was a mistake, but once you've been informed of the results, there are a number of stages to the process.
"I couldn't find Della anywhere. I thought she was still sleeping off the party from the night before, so I went to the show office and tried to talk to the manager myself. He wouldn't discuss it with me - said I had to talk to the show vet, which I did. The guy told me the results showed a steroid in the horse's blood and urine." He shook his head. "I couldn't believe it, had no idea what was going on. Being charged with illegal drug use is not something to be taken lightly. As the trainer, I was the responsible party. I called Della's hotel, and they told me she'd checked out."
His jaw tightened, his face filled with fury at the recollection. "The bitch had gone home without even telling me. There wasn't much I could do about it. I had two more classes, and seven horses to pack up and haul all the way back to Taos."
Liz felt his pain as he composed his thoughts.
"When I returned home, two surprises waited for me. A note from Della taped to my apartment door, telling me I was fired." Sarcasm colored his words. "Big surprise."
He sighed. "The second non-surprise was a certified letter from the U.S. Equestrian drug division, a notice of charge and pending hearing."
Liz gasped. "Oh, my God, how awful! What a horrid woman. Why didn't she support you, help you sort out the drug thing?"
The minute the question left her lips, Liz knew the answer. Kurt's boss had been so angry at being two-timed, she'd wanted him out of her sight.
Kurt remained silent. Finally, he reached down and turned the key in the ignition. The engine grumbled to life, and he looked over at Liz with a matter-of-fact expression.
"So that's how I came to be in California. I hoped I'd be able to prove my innocence at the hearing, then work again after whatever penalty was lifted. I spent almost eighteen months clerking in a supermarket in San Francisco, not far from where I grew up. On my days off, I'd look up the horse farms in the area and learn all I could about them. I went to every horse show that came along, trying to get familiar with the people and the horses. When my reinstatement letter came, I started calling the farms that might be good prospects. Folks were polite, but no one would hire me."
He put the truck in gear, and they slowly coasted out of the deserted parking lot and onto the highway. Liz's mellow, sensual glow had faded, replaced by the pain of Kurt's story. She remained quiet as the truck purred along the road back toward South Tahoe.
Kurt's voice interrupted her sad thoughts.
"I had to tell you all this so you'd understand why I can't risk a relationship. Eve has given me a chance to get back into the ring with good hor
ses. I have to concentrate solely on getting my life back. Without my career, I'm nothing."
Liz listened to the words, her chest lurching at the comment about relationships. A connection with the right woman could make a difference in Kurt's struggle. Why doesn't he see the positive side of being with me? A moment later, a horrifying thought slipped in. What, exactly, is his relationship with Eve? Is he sleeping with her?
The truck idled into the parking lot in front of the motel. When Kurt turned to her, pain etched his face, transforming his eyes into deep pools of sorrow.
"Liz, I want you desperately. I think you know that. But I can't ever let my personal feelings interfere with my career again. I've already paid the price. Horses are my life. They have to be. There's no room for anything else."
His voice softened. "I know you are attracted to me. I can feel it, and I'm to blame for leading you on when I knew how it would have to be. I should never have asked you to dance that night, but I couldn't help myself."
Embarrassed by his frank assessment of her feelings, and bolstered by her wine-induced courage, Liz became defensive.
"Kurt, I'm truly sorry for all your past pain and tragedy, but I think you have too high an opinion of your own appeal."
Face flaming with mortification and hurt pride, she pushed the door open and jumped to the ground. She'd reached the door to her room and was fumbling with the key when Kurt caught up with her.
"Liz, please don't be angry. You can't possibly understand how important my career is to me."
She whirled around and glowered fiercely at the man who'd just kicked her in the heart.
"Really? Why can't I understand? Do you think I'm any less committed to my dreams than you are? And what about all the obstacles you've thrown in my face every time I've told you what I want for Legacy? What have you been trying to accomplish?"
The look on his face told Liz she'd struck a chord. His shoulders sagged and he stepped back. She took advantage of her momentary edge.
"Kurt, I've had pain in my life, too. I grew up without a mother. My father became an invalid in his prime, requiring round-the-clock care that tied my professional goals into a knot. I've taken a huge career step that's not working out, and I've sacrificed my personal life in an effort to build something that will give me pleasure and sustain me through the coming years. The only thing I'm missing is a loving companion to share it with me. I thought it might be you, but I guess I misread your interest."
She went into her room and closed the door without a backward glance.
The painful conversation echoed in Liz's ears. She'd been on the verge of letting herself go with Kurt, and she'd as good as admitted it to him. Embarrassment, then irritation washed over her. She'd done it again. Floundered into his trap and made a fool of herself. Arrogant men. Why do they always think someone's out to catch them? She stopped in front of the mirror and smiled ruefully at her miserable reflection. Probably because someone usually is.
She flopped down onto the bed, fully clothed, and wide-awake. The after-effects of the emotional evening sang through her body. She pictured Kurt sitting on the bench by the lake, and the memory of his pain masked her own. Tears slid from beneath her lashes and trickled silently onto the bedspread.
Kurt stuffed a shirt into the duffel bag. The evening had been a disaster, and he simply couldn't face Liz again the next day. He rolled a sweater tightly, focusing on the motions in an effort to keep from remembering Liz's cold and sorrowful expression. A soft knock vibrated the door and, a second later, he gazed at her sad face. Her eyes glistened with the remnants of tears.
Her voice shook. "I'm sorry I was so hateful. I don't know what gets into me sometimes. Lately, I seem to be making a habit of apologizing to you."
"No, Liz. I'm the one who's sorry. I've hurt you, and I feel like a heel."
She looked so miserable he couldn't allow her to stand there a minute longer. He took her hand and drew her through the door, closing it behind him. They stood in silence, holding hands and looking at one another, each wondering how to bridge the yawning chasm between them.
In the uneasy moment, Kurt saw her gaze move to the open bag.
Surprise edged her words. "You're leaving?"
He shifted his attention to a point above her head, struggling to remain strong. Her scent filled the room, making him painfully aware that she stood within one step of his embrace. Don't go there, man. You'll only dig yourself in deeper.
"I really need to get back. Eve's going to have my head for being away so long, and I have horses to get ready for Stockton."
She dropped his hands and looked up at him, her eyes hooded with emotion. "I'll leave you to your packing."
A wave of desire crashed through his good intentions, and his arms snaked around her slender body.
"Liz, please," he whispered, stroking her hair. "Don't go."
Pushing aside her fear, she melted into his arms and nestled her cheek against his chest. A musky male scent clung to his denim shirt. His breath burned against her ear as he murmured through her hair, sending shivers across her neck. His hands moved possessively down to her waist, pulling her body up against him. Thrilling shockwaves raced through her, and she slipped away into her fantasies.
24
Four hours later, the truck headlights poked like miner's lamps through the pre-dawn darkness, illuminating the road directly ahead. Kurt stared into the shaft of light. A damned tunnel. Long and narrow, with no light at the end - just like my life.
As he headed home, his mood was heavy. His desire for Liz had overpowered his good intentions, and now reality tormented him. He'd taken advantage of her obvious feelings for him - a gift he didn't deserve. Not only had he exploited her trust, he'd encouraged her with the promise of more time together. He sighed. He'd meant it at the time. God knows, it had been too long since he'd felt that way. He wanted to turn the truck around and go back. Back to the woman who made him feel as though everything would be all right.
A second later, he pushed away the tender thoughts. As difficult as it would be, he had to disentangle himself from her. He couldn't promise her something he wasn't sure he could ever deliver.
His memories sifted through time to his lost wife. Like Liz, she'd been fresh and honest and trusting. He'd loved his young bride more than she'd ever known, but his own selfishness and blind ambition had taken precedence over the only bright spot in his life.
He stared into the darkness and vowed that he'd never put himself in that vulnerable position again.
When Liz arrived at the stalls the next morning, shrill, indignant whinnies filled the air.
"Sorry, Boys and Girls. I overslept." She laughed wickedly. "Actually, I had a sleep-over."
Bill Benton appeared as she filled the last feed bucket.
She grinned. "Hello, Bill. The mare still isn't for sale."
He threw her a crooked grin. "Actually, I've been thinking about buying your colt - the one you beat me with."
Liz's thoughts flew. If Bill Benton wanted to buy two of her horses, they must be pretty darn good. Good enough to keep. Good enough to make a name for Legacy Arabians.
"Sorry, I'm not selling anything right now."
He shrugged. "Let me know when you're ready."
He affected a limp salute. "By the way, you did pretty good at this show. For a woman!"
During the long drive home, Liz's thoughts were like a whirlwind. Perhaps Kurt's right about my chances at Nationals. I probably shouldn't be so hung up on building Legacy's name in the show ring. Top bloodlines can build a reputation, too. With great horses, and the right person beside me to help the farm grow, there's no telling what could happen. She giggled out loud. Maybe, maybe, maybe! I'm so infatuated I can't see my hand in front of my face!
Eve's cool greeting confirmed Kurt's prediction that she'd be angry.
"Well, hel-lo! Nice of you to drop in." She moved closer, frowning. "You said you'd only be away for one day. Would you care to explain?"
&nb
sp; He shrugged. "There were lots of good horses at the show, and some big-name farms. It's important that I know who the competition is. And Billy Benton's horses kicked some butt!"
Her tone sounded menacing. "And was Miss Veterinarian there, too?"
Kurt became wary. "Yes. As a matter of fact, she's one of the people we'll need to beat. Her colt took reserve, and both her mares took firsts in their classes, plus a championship for the filly. Barnett has quality stock - we can't forget that."
He turned away and reached for a halter and lunge-line. He hoped Eve couldn't read whatever might show in his expression when he talked about Liz. He knew one thing for sure: he'd need to put her out of his mind, or he'd be out of a job, and right back where he started.
Liz checked the supply case in the truck, her stomach jumping with anticipation of seeing Kurt again. I'll need to keep a strictly professional attitude while I'm working on Eve's horses. I don't think she'd appreciate knowing that her trainer's involved with her new vet. Latching the heavy metal cabinet doors, she glanced up at the pasture. Fair Lady and her new shadow, Marcy, nibbled their way along the edge of the fence. Liz watched her beloved horses, and a feeling of well being settled into her mind.
Kurt's truck wasn't in sight when Liz arrived at Aliqua. She sighed with disappointment, but her brain told her it was probably just as well.
Eve met her at the barn door.
"Good Morning. How was Tahoe? I hear you had a successful show."
Kurt must have told her.
Liz grinned. "I did, indeed."
She followed Eve into the barn, listening to her chatter.
"Kurt is off doing whatever trainers do on their days off. We'll have to get along by ourselves today."
Eve patted the shoulder of a very pregnant mare standing in crossties.
"She's seven months along. Needs her second rhino shot, and I'd like you to do an ultrasound. She seems awfully large for this early in her pregnancy." Eve raised an eyebrow and smiled hopefully. "Maybe she's carrying twins."
