Her words cut through me like a knife.
“Do you really wish that?” I asked softly, placing my hand on hers on the table.
She jerked it away. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “Sorry. I just hate keeping things from people. And what you’re doing is illegal.”
We didn’t speak again until we’d drained our hot chocolates, and then we trailed upstairs, exhausted from the long night.
“Wait,” she said as I was about to go into my room. “You’re bleeding again, through the back of your shirt. On the left. There must be another cut there which we missed earlier.”
I reached around and felt under my left shoulder. It was a little tender, but it didn’t feel like much of a cut. “I’ll put a Band-Aid on it.”
She sighed. “I’ll do it. You won’t be able to see exactly where to put it, seeing as it’s on your back. Take your shirt off.”
I grinned. “Ah, I see. You just want to get me naked again.”
She blushed. “Shut up. I’m going to get a Band-Aid from the bathroom cabinet.”
She returned a moment later, and I noticed she kept trying to avert her gaze from my chest, like she couldn’t stand to look at me in case she got turned on. Trying to keep the smirk off my face, I turned around, and she wiped the small cut with a tissue and then placed the plaster over it.
“There,” she said.
She turned to leave but apparently decided against it a second later. “You know what?” she said, spinning around to face me again. “I think I deserve an explanation.”
“About what?”
“About your fighting, and why I have to keep this secret for you. All you told me was that you do it for the thrill, but that’s bullshit. There’s gotta be more to it than that. So what is it? You’re mad at your Dad for cheating on your Mom, so you go behind his back and do shit you know would drive him insane?”
“Nope. I can’t stand some of the things my father’s done in the past, but I’ve tried to let that go. He’s got nothing to do with my fighting. I just like it. So what?”
She put her hands on her hips. “So what? Oh, let’s see—for one, you got hurt tonight. Aren’t you afraid of getting hurt again?”
“Nope. And by the way, I still won tonight.”
She rolled her eyes, as if that was so far from the point that I might as well be in Zimbabwe. “Okay, so what about the people you hurt? Those underground fights have less rules than regular ones, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So you could seriously hurt someone. You could even kill them. I mean, I heard you roughed up your opponent tonight pretty bad. Even worse than what he did to you.”
“Jesus, Lina, I’ve never killed anyone,” I replied, running my hands through my hair with an exasperated sigh.
“But you have hurt people badly, right?”
“Yes. It’s part of the deal. No one forces anyone to get in that cage. They know the risks when they get into it. So do I. That’s why I’m not pissed about almost getting beaten tonight. I knew the risk.”
She let out a deep sigh. “Does it make you feel good? Hurting them?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What do you think, Lina?”
She looked down at the floor and then peered back up at me through her dark eyelashes. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I think I’m afraid to know.”
I took a step closer to her. “Hurting people doesn’t make me feel good. Just being in that cage makes me feel good. Winning makes me feel good. Okay?”
Her head jerked up again. “I still don’t get why you do it. You have a perfect life. You have all this money and privilege; you could do anything else. All the money you win from these matches…someone else who really needs it could be fighting for it instead.”
“Jesus, Lina. You make me sound like some sort of fucking monster, like I’m only doing it to take away opportunities from other people. You wanna know what I’ve been doing with my winnings?”
“What?”
“My first ever match, I was up against a pretty big guy. He looked tough, but he had no technique. I crushed him. Hurt him pretty bad, worse than I meant to. Fucked his right leg up. Dude is still getting physical therapy to walk properly again. He has a family to support. That’s why he was fighting. So I help him out now. Most of the money I win from my fights….it goes to him for his family and medical bills. The rest goes to a charity fund I’m saving up for. Okay? I’m not a total fucking monster.”
She looked ashamed, and I took another step closer. “So yes, I know I’m privileged. I have all this money from my trust fund, so you’re right, I guess I don’t need to fight for it. I just want to, and I help people out with the money I get from it. Is that so bad?”
I’d never told anyone that before. Not Tripp. Not even myself. Up until now, I’d convinced myself that I needed to fight, just for the thrill it gave me, but that wasn’t true. No, Lina was right. I didn’t need to. I simply wanted to.
Maybe she was right about the rest of the stuff as well. I was being a selfish prick by continuing with it. I hurt people. I got myself hurt. Lastly, I could seriously hurt my family if the news of what I was doing ever came out...and considering how the election campaign was heating up, it was only a matter of time until some private investigator from the opposition team came sniffing around my private life.
But shit, I still didn’t want to give it up. Not yet.
However, I didn’t want to give Lina up either. I knew she was going to be family soon, but I couldn’t keep lying to myself and pretending we could just be friends. She was a temperamental smartass most of the time, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to tear her clothes right off every goddamned time I saw her, just like I’d pictured so many times now. I didn’t think I’d ever stop wanting that.
I’d never wanted something so fucking badly in my life.
Goddammit. If I was ever going to earn her respect and really have a chance at being with her, I’d probably have to stop fighting. Till then, she’d never respect me; not as much as I wanted her to. She might be able to respect my strength and my prowess, but nothing else.
“You want me to give it up?” I asked, training my eyes on hers.
She lowered them to the ground again. “I think you should, yes. But you should do it because it’s the right thing. You shouldn’t do it because I said so.”
“Why not?” I asked, taking yet another step closer. She was only an inch away from me now. “You don’t want to know that I’d give up something I care about…for you?”
“No, I don’t want to know that.”
“Bullshit. You’re just scared. You don’t want to admit that there’s something between us. But we both fucking know it, Lina.”
“You’re delusional. There’s nothing going on bet—”
I cut her off midsentence, and I fucking did it. I kissed her.
I couldn’t hold back from her anymore, and I crushed my lips against hers, sparks igniting in an explosion of desire all around us as she moaned into my mouth. I slid my tongue between her lips, tasting her, exploring every inch of her. She was perfect.
My heaven was down on Earth, and holy fuck, she tasted like it too.
She pulled away only a moment later, pummeling my chest with her little fists until I took a step back. “You shouldn’t have done that,” she said. “I’m still mad at you!”
“How mad?” I said, unable to stop a grin from quirking my lips up.
She stood there for a second, seemingly in two minds until she finally answered.
“This mad,” she said breathlessly before launching herself at me, reaching up and wrapping her fingers around the back of my head, pulling me close for another kiss.
She moaned softly as my lips met hers, moving her hands down around my waist. We slowly moved over to the bed, and I cupped the back of her head, tilting her face up so that I could plunge my tongue back into her mouth. Her lips were so sweet, so tender, and I desperately wanted the kiss to last forever.
Unfortunately, it only lasted up until the moment we heard a timid voice calling out to us.
“Lina? Chase?”
We sprang apart and looked down to see Lily standing in the doorway to my bedroom….only a few feet away.
She’d seen us kissing.
Shit.
Chapter 13
Lina
Oh, crap…
“Um…hey, Lily,” I said. I didn’t dare look at Chase, instead focusing my eyes on my little sister who was still staring at us quizzically.
She came closer, dragging her feet and yawning as she approached the bed. I was pretty sure my heart was pounding so loudly you could hear it in the next room, but I tried to look nonchalant, as hard as that was in the presence of a five-year-old.
“What were you two doing?” Lily asked, her little face pinched with worry and her eyes still sleepy. She rubbed them as I gulped down the lump in my throat.
“Um, Chase had something stuck in his teeth,” I replied. Chase gave me the strangest look, his eyes burning into my skin. “He had a piece of food stuck there for a while, so I helped him get it out.”
“Seriously?” I heard Chase murmur beside me.
God, it was stupid, but it was the first thing that had popped into my head. I felt bad for lying to my sister, but I couldn’t tell her the truth. No way.
I half expected Lily to question my answer, but she was too sleepy to be bothered by this new information. A huge weight fell off my shoulders as she nodded and crawled onto the bed next to us.
“I had another nightmare,” she told Chase, now acting as if I wasn’t even there. “Can you help me fall asleep again?”
At that point, I realized the fluffy stuffed teddy she was holding was actually a fluffy very-much-alive Goldie, who snuggled closer to Lily as Chase nodded at her.
“Of course, Miss Lily,” he said seriously. “We can’t have you having any more nightmares, can we? You need a good night’s sleep for tomorrow. It’s finger paint day at kindergarten, right?”
Lily nodded solemnly and Chase kept chatting to her as he tucked her into his own bed, the duvet snug against her chin. How was it possible that my stepbrother knew more about my little sister than I did these days?
Either I was a horrible sibling, or he’d become really close to her these past few weeks.
The fact that I’d just made out with him made me lean towards the former, though.
“Why do you have that on your head?” Lily asked Chase next, touching the bandage on his forehead. We exchanged another panicked look, and once again, I found myself bailing Chase out.
“Erm, Chase fell down the stairs, sweetheart,” I told Lily. “That’s why I was in his room, I had to put a bandage on his head.”
“Oh,” Lily replied with a frown. “I didn’t hear him fall.”
God, five-year-olds could be really perceptive, couldn’t they?
I fobbed her off with a smile and watched, mesmerized, as Chase told my little sister a bedtime story. It had a princess, a frog and a whole lot of action, and it made me grin throughout. By the time he was finished, Lily was sound asleep.
Chase picked her up in his arms, my baby sister snuggling closer to him. He left her wrapped up in his duvet and motioned for me to follow him as he carried her down the hallway. I grabbed Goldie and did exactly that.
We left Lily safe in her bed, with Goldie sleeping soundly right next to her. I still didn’t dare look at Chase as we made our way back outside.
I was only now registering that we had kissed. And what a kiss it had been… My mind was still spinning, my thoughts muddled and erratic as I remembered how his mouth had claimed mine.
Once we reached the door to my bedroom, I risked a look at him, and my eyes were caught in the fire of his gaze. He was leaning against the door, so close to my mouth. Only an inch separated us from kissing again, and all I needed to do was stand on my tiptoes and we’d lock lips again…the very thing I wanted most.
But I was a good girl, and good girls didn’t do naughty things like invite their stepbrothers into their bedroom, so I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to speak.
“Goodnight,” I squeaked, and before Chase could react, I’d opened the door, disappeared inside my bedroom and shut it tightly behind me. My whole body was shaking as I walked over to the bed, collapsing on my girly floral duvet. I didn’t feel as innocent as the pretty blooms might suggest in that moment.
“Night.” Chase’s voice was a whisper on the other side of the door, promising a world of delicious forbidden pleasures. Before I could stop myself, I’d already gotten back to my feet and strolled to the door.
I opened it quietly, just in time to hear him disappear into his own bedroom next to mine, the door shutting with a click.
With a heavy sigh, I went back into my bedroom and tried to settle in for a night of restless sleep. So much for my confidence and taking things into my own hands…
Chapter 14
Lina
“Lily is with her friend Morgan already. I dropped her off after the meeting.” My Mom was stressing out, packing the rest of her stuff up in an enormous handbag. “Now where on Earth did I put my glasses…”
She ran across the room, trying to find the last of the stuff she needed for her overnight trip with Peter. They were attending a conference in Springfield the next day, and they needed to get there a day earlier, since it was so early in the morning.
“Don’t worry, you have everything.” I tried to calm her down, and as she gathered her things, I couldn’t help but wonder how all this stress had managed to make her look even more youthful and beautiful.
Mom had been a pageant queen when she was younger, and now she looked like a beautiful, sophisticated and grown-up version of that. Dressed in expensive fabrics that draped perfectly over her body and with an expert blowout, she was more beautiful than ever.
“You look stunning,” I complimented her once she’d finally finished, and I meant it, too. “I hope you have an amazing time in Springfield. I’ll call Lily tonight to make sure she’s doing all right.”
“Thank you, honey,” she said gratefully, moving in for a hug that smelled of soft rose perfume. “I hope you and Chase don’t get into too much trouble.”
I blushed such a dark shade of crimson that I had to fake a cough to cover up my face. It was only now occurring to me that Chase and I would be totally alone in the house tonight, since everyone was off doing something else. It’d been a week since we’d kissed, and I’d been avoiding him again, unable to face what we’d done out of sheer shame and nervousness…but that was going to change tonight. I was finally going to face up to it.
I was ready.
“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” I squeaked, and Mom gave me a wide smile before kissing me and waving goodbye. In a few moments, she and her two suitcases were gone, and I was left standing in the hallway with a stupid smile plastered all over my face.
Chase and I would be all alone in this huge house tonight, even if it was only for one night. But one night could change a lot of things…
I rushed upstairs, not allowing myself to regret my actions. I wanted to look beautiful and special when he finally came home, even though my stupid mind would probably stop anything from happening between us like it always seemed to do. I was already panicking at the thought of being alone with him, but at the same time, I’d never been more excited.
My reflection stared back at me with flushed cheeks as I sat down in front of my vanity, trying to apply makeup I’d seldom used before. My hands were shaking as I combed my hair and applied a drop of sweet perfume on my wrists, and I felt so, so foolish...but also, so, so turned on…
* * *
Soft noises woke me up in the middle of the night. I woke up with a start, and my legs nearly gave out under me as I rushed out of the room. In my tired state, I’d had this strange idea that it was an intruder, and I’d grabbed my perfume bottle as a makeshift weapon.
Even though I was t
rying to be quiet and sneaky, I made so much noise as I exited into the hallway that the intruder stopped in his tracks.
“Freeze,” I called out, my voice shaking. I was waving the bottle of perfume around like a maniac. “Freeze right now, or I’m calling the cops!”
The lights turned on with a click just as a familiar voice rang out.
“Okay, Detective Diaz, I’ll freeze. But could you keep it down?”
My eyes locked with Chase’s and I felt like a fool. A stupid, idiotic…
Oh my god.
“Oh my god,” Chase said out loud, his mouth hanging open as he took me in. “What the hell happened while I was gone? I was about to go out again, but maybe all the action is right here…”
He was already grinning, and I felt my cheeks reddening as his gaze wandered over my body.
“Um,” I replied, looking down at myself as the horrible realization dawned on me.
I’d decided to get ready for a night of Chase seduction…and then fallen asleep in my get-up. I was currently wearing a silky nightie with no bra, a thong, and red lipstick. My hair, which I’d styled before, was probably a frizzy mess of bedhead curls by now.
God, I felt like a prize idiot right now.
“Whatever. It’s nothing,” I mumbled, trying to cover up my body as best as I could. My heart was beating faster than ever as I felt Chase’s eyes roaming over my curves, stopping to stare at my breasts and ass. “Where have you been? And where are you going now?”
He finally looked back up to my face, and this time, there was guilt in his eyes. “I have a thing,” he said, and I could tell there was something he was hiding.
Oh my god, please don’t let it be another girl, a small voice said inside my head, and my heart thumped even louder. I couldn’t bear it if Chase was going on a date after I’d spent hours dolling myself up for him. You shouldn’t have assumed he’d still want you, I told myself. Stupid. You’ve been avoiding him, and guys like him don’t wait…
Score - A Stepbrother Romance Page 10
