Suddenly all the things I’ve been doing for the past few years seem utterly stupid.
The endless procession of girls in my bedroom, the models, beauties, all those women – they all pale in comparison to Rubi. She is the sun, and they’re moths drawn to a flame.
I’ve been fooling myself, and I hope I haven’t realized that too late.
“Morning,” Rubi replies sleepily, her arms wrapped around her body to protect her from the coldness of the early hour. “What are you doing up so early?”
Her eyes are red-rimmed and I wonder briefly is she’s been crying, my hands tightening into fists. If that jackass made her cry, I’ll make personally sure to knock his teeth out.
“Felt like a swim,” I say instead, not revealing any of my worries even though my mouth is pressed into a tight line. I grin at her and she gives me a suspicious look.
“What?” she asks worriedly, patting her hair.
“Dare,” I say on a whim and her eyes widen as she remembers the game we played all those years ago.
“Jax…” she protest weakly, but I’m not having any of it.
“Skinny dipping, right now,” I tell her, smirking at her as she looks at me with shock and horror. I knew she wouldn’t dare to do it, but I love pushing her buttons. I slide my swimming shorts off with one swift motion, loving the way her eyes become glued to my cock.
I flex my muscles, feeding off of her attention. She gulps and I don’t give her another minute to enjoy the view, rushing inside the water through the mist and screaming her name as I dive into the waves.
When my body breaks the surface of the water and I re-emerge, laughing with the cold of the ocean, I see her on the beach, clothes still on.
“Come on, darlin’,” I call out to her, and it seems to be the incentive she needs.
She slowly takes off her slip and I make myself look away – not because I’m a gentleman, but because I’m fairly sure if I see her naked right now, I won’t be able to resist her any longer. It’s been hard enough fighting my feelings for this whole week.
She shrieks as she wades into the water and I swim with the current to reach her shivering body. Now I can’t help it, even though I know what I’m doing isn’t right.
She’s engaged.
I had my chance, and I fucked it up.
But resisting is out of the question as I wrap her writhing naked form in my arms, pressing her trembling body against my own. Rubi’s eyes are as wide as saucers as she looks into mine, her hands hesitating, but finding their way around my neck nonetheless.
“Rubi,” I groan, and I know she can feel my cock throbbing between us even though the water is ice cold.
I see the inner turmoil in her eyes. She knows what’s right, but she also knows what she wants, and those two things are most definitely not the same.
“Please, let go,” she moans softly, but her hands grip me even tighter as opposed to her words.
“No,” I say decidedly. “Not this time around.”
Our hearts beat in unison and I know it’s just a matter of time before we both lose it. Her breasts pressed against my body, she wraps her legs around me, just above my waist. I take a sharp intake of breath and look at her worriedly, trying to let her know I won’t be able to hold back much longer.
“Please, Rubi,” I whisper against her wet hair. “Think it through, darlin’. Choose me. It’s always been me, not him. You need to realize that.”
She shakes her head, the wet strands of hair falling in her face. I tuck them behind her ear gently, my hands shaking from the cold sea. “You’re mine,” I tell her fiercely, and she refuses to meet my eye.
“I’m not,” she says weakly. “We’ve been over for years. This is so fucked up.”
Her voice is breaking over the words, heavy with forbidden feelings and emotions.
And then I say something I’ve never, ever said before in my life. Not to a girl I’d been sleeping with, not to a parent, not to anyone.
“I love you, darlin’,” I groan, realizing the words are true as they come out of my mouth.
But they have the opposite effect from the one that I want and Rubi looks at me with so much fear it breaks my heart to see her torn this way. She rips her body out of my embrace, leaving my hands searching for her warmth in the cold ocean.
Rubi starts swimming away, and for some reason, I don’t try to catch up, clenching my hands into fists instead. I watch her retreating figure, pangs of pain claiming my heart as she gets farther and farther away.
I want to call out after her, pull her back in. But once again, I know it needs to be her choice – she has to be the one to come back into my arms.
I’ve fucked up once before and it wouldn’t be right to fool her again.
Watching Rubi slide out of the water, I can’t make myself look away. Her body is even more beautiful now, her waist tiny and her tits full, her ass insanely tight and tempting. I lick my lips as she pulls the slip right over her wet body, throwing one last look at me over her shoulder.
She’s so fucking beautiful, my little mermaid.
Rubi walks away, leaving me and my throbbing cock alone in the ice cold water. It’s like a cold shower which I so desperately need.
But a smile still plays on my lips, because I have another trick up my sleeve. And this time around, I’m not letting Adrian claim the main prize.
Rubi needs to be mine.
Chapter 31
Rubi
I know I have to leave the beach as soon as our bodies touch. Not because I don’t want Jax’s hands on me, but because I want them so badly… And I have to make things right before anything happens between us.
After finding the notebook, my mind is made up. I still don’t know whether I want to be with Jax, or what the right choice is here, but I am certain in the knowledge that Adrian is not the man for me.
If I really loved him, I wouldn’t have all these feelings for Jax, and I most certainly wouldn’t try to act on them. Besides, the way Jax makes me feel will never compare to the blandness of Adrian’s touch.
My mouth pursed, I go back to the house and find Adrian has already left for work. Even though I want to have this conversation straight away, I make myself go about my day, working on designing a newly married couple’s bedroom. It relieves some of the tension, but come lunchtime, I decide to go to Newport and visit Adrian in his office.
I slide his engagement ring off my finger, staring at the huge sapphire on it. It’s beautiful, but it’s probably the single beautiful thing in our relationship.
I’ve been fooling myself for a long time, living a life that I never wanted. I’ve been keeping my eyes firmly shut, seeing the residual light through the darkness. But now it’s as if a whole new world has opened up, a dreamland of vivid, gorgeous colors. And I know I won’t be able to live with my eyes closed anymore.
I push the ring inside my purse and drive to Newport, parking in the lot under Adrian’s workplace. I didn’t call ahead, knowing he might say he’s busy working – but I just can’t wait any longer. I need to tell him now.
His assistant is out when I come to the office, but the receptionist knows me well and lets me through. I stride to Adrian’s office, a beautiful room with gorgeous wood paneling I helped him decorate. He got promoted last year, earning his own office and a beautiful view of the beach.
I knock in my signature way, letting him know it’s me, then open the door.
My fiancé is sitting on his office chair, the one I picked for him lovingly, choosing a buttery cream color to calm him while he works. His trousers are unbuttoned and there’s a woman on her knees in front of him, sucking on his cock.
I just stare at the scene in front of me, feeling absolutely nothing. I’m empty. Completely devoid of feelings and emotions.
Adrian looks up, his mouth open in a surprised o-shape. “Rubi,” he groans, and I realize he hasn’t seen me yet. He’s calling my name as some woman sucks him off. Sick. It’s fucking sick.
; “Yeah,” I say weakly, and his eyes find me standing at the door, widening in horror.
“Rubi!” he says in a raised tone, rushing to get up, his trousers falling to the floor in the process and revealing his erect cock, still slick with the other woman’s saliva.
I can’t move, still glued to the doorway as I stare at the disaster in front of me. The woman on her knees gets up slowly, facing away from me. She’s wearing a pencil skirt and begins buttoning up her blouse before turning towards me, her mouth pursed in a tight line.
I recognize her immediately. “Cassandra?” I ask.
She smirks at me, wiping her mouth with her palm which makes me cringe since the action is so vulgar. It’s Jax’s cousin, the woman who has been helping me organize Valerie’s wedding. On her knees. Sucking off my husband-to-be.
“Get the fuck out, Cassandra,” Adrian spits out as I just stare and stare. She grabs her purse and laughs shrilly as she leaves, shooting me an evil look on her way out. I have enough strength in me to grab her wrist as she passes me and she stops in surprise.
I’ve mentioned I’ve changed a lot since the first summer in this town. I’ve become calmer, softer, gentler. But the scene I just saw has left me raw and emotional, and for once in my life, I let my real personality shine through.
“What are you gonna do, slap me?” Cassandra asks mockingly, laughing shrilly as I hold her limp wrists between my fingers. “You’re useless, Rubi. As a woman and as a lay, or so I’ve heard.”
Her words should cut deep, but instead they make me feel intense fury. “No,” I reply sweetly. “I don’t need to slap you. Reality will do that for me, dear.”
She looks at me in confusion, but I’m not done with this bitch yet. “You think you’ve won, Cassandra?” I ask her coldly as she stares at me defiantly. “You have nothing. You’re a taken man’s whore, and he’ll never take you as anything else. You’re the worst scum.”
Her resolve falters as I lean in closer, getting ready to deliver the final blow. “And don’t think I don’t know why you’re so involved in the wedding, hoping to inherit something if Valerie passes,” I spit in her face and she looks guilty, letting me know I’ve hit the nail on the head.
“You won’t get a damn cent. Why don’t you go find someone else to take advantage of now? Your job here is done,” I finish with a syrupy-sweet voice and she rips her wrist out of my hand as I sigh heavily.
“Actually, I’ve changed my mind,” I finish. “I think I will slap you.”
And the sound of my hand hitting her cheeks resonates in the room. “You can go now,” I let her know sweetly as she clutches her reddening cheek in shock.
She rushes out of the room in a hurry, not looking back once. And then it’s just Adrian and me, my heart pounding faster than ever as he strides towards me.
“Rubi,” he says desperately, and my eyes are focused on his crotch. His zipper is still undone, and for some reason, that bothers me more than the fact that I just found him cheating.
“I never meant for it to happen,” he begins, the words rushing out of his mouth, meaning shit to me. “It was nothing, she didn’t mean anything. She was just a fuck…”
“Just a hole to put your dick in when I wouldn’t let you?” I ask matter-of-factly, and he looks away, looking completely broken. But I didn’t do this to him – it’s a pain he inflicted on himself.
I dig in my purse, pulling out my engagement ring and handing it over to him with a cold expression. Adrian groans out loud, running his hands through his surfer blond hair, leaving it in disarray.
“No, Rubi, I won’t take it back,” he says desperately. “Don’t you understand? You’re all there is for me. I fucked up, I know. I fucked up so badly.”
His voice is full of remorse, his words ringing true in my mind. I know he’s telling the truth this time around, but it doesn’t mean anything to me. My mind was made up when I left the house an hour ago.
But I let him go on, enjoying the torture he must be going through. He fucking deserves to suffer for doing this to me, betraying my trust in the worst way possible.
“Rubi,” he continues eagerly, trying to grab my hand, but I move away from his touch, too disgusted to feel his skin against mine, even if it is for the last time ever. “I fucked up. I’ve just…”
“Just what?” I ask softly, needing to hear his reasoning behind what’s been going on, even if it doesn’t change a thing between us.
Adrian raises his gaze to mine, his eyes broken just like his soul. “I’ve been living in Jax’s shadow for four years,” he says, his voice heavy with emotions that make me blush. “You never talked about him, never mentioned him. But it’s always been him – if you hadn’t found out about the bet, you’d still be with him. That’s why I told you, because I wanted you for myself.”
He tries reaching for me again and I move away once more, so his hand falls away empty. "I tried so fucking hard to be enough for you, Rubi,” he says heavily. “I tried to make you happy, tried to give you everything you wanted.”
I look into his eyes and am surprised to see them brimming with tears. But what’s more surprising is the fact that it doesn’t make me feel a thing – not remorse, not glee at his pain. Not a goddamn thing.
“As soon as he came back into your life, I knew I’d never keep you. We could get married, have children, but you’d always want him. He’d always be the one that got away.”
His words are true, even if I don’t want to admit it.
“That doesn’t excuse you sleeping with Cassandra,” I say, already tired from this conversation.
“No, it doesn’t,” Adrian agrees. “But I never loved her. Always, since that summer four years ago, you’ve been the one for me. And I’m sorry, so fucking sorry, Rubi, that I can’t be the same for you.”
His voice breaks and I look at his body doing the same as he wipes his eyes furiously. His confession may be heartbreaking, but it just makes me feel embarrassed for him, and even more for me. I’ve been stuck in a loveless relationship for four years.
I’ve broken this man so badly, and I’ve transformed myself into someone I don’t even want to be. I bite my bottom lip, fighting back my own tears.
“I’m sorry, Adrian,” I admit with defeat. “I’m sorry I treated you like shit.”
We’re both quiet for a long moment and I take his hand next, opening his palm. I place my engagement ring firmly on it, folding his fingers over it. “Keep it,” I tell him forcefully when he tries to stop me. “You’ll find a girl who deserves it more than I do.”
I know he’s about to object, but I press a finger to my lips and smile weakly at him as I retreat from his office.
“I’ll send the movers with your stuff to your parents house,” I tell him, already deciding that it’s for the best. “You’ll have everything in a couple of days.”
Then, I turn abruptly on the heel of my feet and rush outside, needing the fresh air to wake me up from this nightmare. I ignore Adrian’s voice calling after me, needing the closure right away.
Stepping out on the pavement, the scorching heat hits my face, but it feels damn good. And for the first time in four years, I feel hopeful.
My stride is relaxed, my hips swaying as I walk towards my car. I mentally promise myself to never change who I am for a man again. From now on, I am Rubi Lynn – the real thing. What you see is what you get.
* * *
I arrive at the house and seek refuge in my old bedroom, which is the only place in the house I left unchanged. I fall back on my bed and have the sudden urge to call Susie. She’s always been there for me these past few years, always had my back.
I wonder how she’ll take my news.
She answers her phone right away. “What up, Rue?” she asks enthusiastically.
I contemplate how I should tell her what happened, but before I can stop myself, I’m already blurting the truth. “I broke up with Adrian.”
A long pause follows after which I hear a strange noise on the ot
her side of the line. “Sue?” I ask worriedly. “Are you okay over there?”
“I’m laughing,” she admits. “Finally you see some sense, you stupid woman!”
I actually move the phone away from my ear and stare at it in shock. Susie has always been supportive of my relationship with Adrian. “Huh?” I ask in confusion.
Susie sighs heavily, her voice laced with giggles, just like when we were younger and used to gossip on the phone for hours. “It was about time, Rubi. He wasn’t right for you, and deep down, you fucking knew it.”
I let her words sink in, realizing she’s totally right. But it’s a realization I needed to come to by myself, and I appreciate that she didn’t tell me her real thoughts sooner.
“I know what prompted this,” Susie says with more seriousness this time around. “I always knew he’d come back for you, Rue—”
“Stop,” I cut her off, knowing she’s talking about Jax.
“No,” she says stubbornly. “Not this time. You’ve been a fool, my dear, and it’s time to fix that, before it’s too late.”
My heart starts pounding, my eyes fluttering through the window towards the guesthouse. I see Jax standing in front of the window, wearing shorts slung low on his hips, a glass of juice in his hand.
He raises his free hand in greeting, pulling it out of his pocket and making his shorts slide lower. I gulp.
“It’s play time,” Susie gushes over the phone.
Chapter 32
Jax
My mother is getting married today, and my heart is pounding like it’s my day of doom, not hers. I have something planned for today, and it might be the very thing my future balances on.
I haven’t seen Rubi since yesterday at the beach, and I have no idea what she’s feeling and thinking. I’ve been around the house, too, but she never answered the doorbell, so I took it as a hint and spent the extra time to prepare the surprise I have planned.
Score - A Stepbrother Romance Page 50
