“I don’t know that she will, and I’m not sure I want her to.”
I probe her gorgeous, sad eyes, reaching out to caress her cheek because I can’t seem to go a minute without wanting to touch her. “Talk to me.”
I lean back in the couch, pulling her into my side. She fists her hand in my shirt as she rests her head on my shoulder, and I could happily die right now, completely satisfied. Yup; I’ve most definitely traded in my Man Card. My heart elevates in my chest as I gaze adoringly at her.
Summer soothes something in me by her very presence, and I know I need to do right by her. Starting with telling her I’m in love with her and then breaking the news to her brother, if she’s in agreement to make things official between us. But this isn’t the time for that, so I bite my tongue as I wait for her to unburden herself, smoothing my hand up and down her back and holding her close.
“I’ve been doing a ton of soul searching since Friday night, and I don’t think my friendship with Hannah is as close as I believed it was. It’s like I had blinders on, because I didn’t see how I always took second place to Jordan.” She tips her head up, looking me directly in the eye. “And it’s not that I expected to come first all the time. Not at all. But now and then would’ve been nice, except she always blew me off to spend time with him, and I never stopped to question it.”
“I’m sorry.” I kiss her temple.
“And I don’t get how she can blame me for this. I’ve never said or done anything to lead Jordan to believe I had any romantic feelings for him, and I haven’t betrayed her. Demanding he tells her the truth was my way of protecting my best friend from further pain but she has thrown even that back in my face.”
She sits up straighter, leaning both her hands on my chest. “I was really upset yesterday, and, honestly, my emotions have been veering all over the place, but now, I’m just sad because I know that even if we patch things up, our friendship will never be the same. Or maybe it will be,” she adds, her brows knitting together. “But that won’t be enough, because I don’t want a friend who isn’t there for me when I need her or one who throws accusations my way when her life turns shitty.”
“Just be true to yourself, Summer. Friendships are two-way streets, no different from any other relationships. There needs to be give and take and mutual trust and respect. If Hannah can’t offer you that, then maybe she doesn’t deserve a place in your life.”
✽✽✽
The working week is crazy, and I’ve barely seen Summer since Sunday night, except for brief stolen kisses as we pass each other in the apartment like ships in the night. All week, I’ve thought of nothing else but opening my heart and my life up to Summer, and I know I’m ready.
But I don’t really know how she feels, and we need to have a heart to heart to see where things are going with us. I’ve been texting her all day, asking if she’s free after rehearsal tonight to go for dinner, but I’m growing increasingly worried when I still haven’t heard from her by the time my shift is over.
I head home to get changed, and then I plan to head over to the theater company to wait for her.
I’m turning my key in the lock, listening to the shouting coming from inside with growing trepidation. Stepping into the apartment, I close the door, toss my keys on the table in the hall, and walk into the living room.
Austin is pacing the floor, fisting tufts of his hair in his hands, shouting at Summer, while she stands stock-still with tears silently rolling down her face. She’s wearing sweats and a ratty T-shirt, her face devoid of makeup, with her hair in a messy ponytail. She looks paler than normal, and something is clearly wrong. Miley is tugging on Austin’s elbow, whispering in his ear, concern etched all over her face.
“What’s going on?” I ask, stepping into the room.
Summer’s lower lip wobbles as she looks at me with blatant fear in her eyes.
“Shall you tell him, or will I?” Austin yells, and Summer flinches at the harsh tone of his voice.
I instinctively move to Summer’s side, wondering if he’s figured out what’s going on with us. “Stop shouting at her,” I say, working hard to keep my voice calm.
“Don’t tell me what to do with my sister!” Austin snaps, glaring at me.
“Austin.” Miley’s tone is firm. “Stop this. Your sister is upset enough as it is. All you’re doing is making things worse. You need to calm down.”
“I can’t fucking calm down!” he screams. “And I’m upset too! She’s eighteen years old, and this’ll ruin her entire life!”
“That’s not true,” Summer says, sniffling as she wraps her arms around her shivering body.
Discreetly, I place my hand on her lower back. “Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?” I’m guessing Austin hasn’t figured it out as all my limbs are still intact, but I’ve no clue why he’s so riled up.
“Some asshole has knocked her up!” he admits through gritted teeth, and I sway on my feet as my ears ring and my eyesight blurs.
“What?” My eyes dart to Summer’s in shock. Her silent tears transform to full-blown sobs as she looks at me with these big, apologetic eyes. “You’re pregnant,” I whisper. “Seriously?”
“These things don’t lie,” Austin says, shoving something into my hand. Blinking to clear my foggy head, I stare at the three pregnancy tests with the clear blue line confirming she’s pregnant. “Imagine coming home to find those on your little sister’s bedside table,” he fumes.
My mind is bouncing off the walls as panic joins the bile swimming up my throat. I know this baby is mine, but why didn’t she tell me? And what the fuck are we going to do now?
“And she won’t tell me who the father is.” Steam is practically billowing out of Austin’s ears, but I don’t blame him. I remember how shocked I was when I discovered Gabby was pregnant at nineteen, and I almost punched Dylan’s lights out.
I snap out of my daze, preparing to man up and tell him the truth when Summer pinches my arm, pinning me with anguished eyes as she answers her brother. “It’s none of your business.”
And that was so not the thing to say to him in the moment. “The fucking hell it isn’t!” He paces again. “If it’s one of those obnoxious, jumped-up frat boys, I will lose my fucking shit. I mean it, Summer.”
“Austin, please calm down.” Miley pleads, trying to grab her boyfriend and stall his frantic pacing.
“How the hell can I be calm?” Tears prick his eyes, and his voice cracks. “She’s my little sister, and some asshole did this to her. She hasn’t even begun to live her life.” He shakes his head sadly, swiping at errant tears, and I feel like the biggest shithead.
“A baby isn’t the end of the world, Austin,” Summer quietly says. “And you know I adore kids.”
“Adoring kids and raising one at your age isn’t the same thing, and you know it! What about UD? And all your travel plans?”
“I can still do what I want. I’ll just have to make adjustments and maybe push the time line out.” She’s shuffling nervously on her feet, avoiding looking at me as she talks in a soft but determined voice, and I know she’s trying to put a brave face on it, but her fear is still palpable. I don’t know how long she’s known about it, but I’m guessing she only found out today because the girl I know, and love, wouldn’t keep this hidden from me. I couldn’t get a hold of her today, and I figure this is why. She was at home, by herself, trying to process this.
She doesn’t even know I’m in love with her.
Or that I was planning on asking her to be my girlfriend for real.
Who knows what thoughts were going through her mind?
I may be confused and terrified too, but she needs me, and I won’t let her down.
I’m done hiding.
Sliding my arm fully around her waist, I pull her securely into my side. Then I turn to my best friend and business partner with a fierce look on my face. “I’m the father. It’s my baby.”
Austin just stares at me in obvious shock. And it’s lik
e one of those cinematic moments. You know, where the screen seems to focus in on a scene and the surrounding environment fades out. Until an explosion happens, and everything comes back into focus in a nanosecond.
This is exactly like that because Austin just stares at me, and you could hear a pin drop in the room for a few seconds until an animalistic growl rips from the back of his throat, and he lunges at me, punching me square in the face.
Summer screams.
Miley shouts.
And I stagger back, a little dizzy, pressing my fingers to the trickle of blood leaking out of my throbbing nose.
Austin comes at me again, landing a punch in my gut and winding me so bad I drop to my knees, struggling to catch a breath. “You fucking asshole!” he roars, slamming his fist into the side of my head this time. “I told you to keep your filthy hands off her!” My head jerks sideways, and I stretch my hand out to stop myself from falling flat on the ground. My head is spinning, and my breathing still hasn’t returned to normal, but I deflect his next hit as Miley yanks on his arm, trying to pull him away from me.
Summer crouches down in front of me, crying. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t fucking say sorry to him!” Austin yells, wrestling to get free of Miley’s hold. “He took advantage of you, and now you’re paying the price!”
I see the switch flick in Summer. Jumping up, she dries her eyes, storming over to her brother, pushing her face up in his. “Ryan did not take advantage of me! He tried to do the right thing, and he kept pushing me away, but I pushed back harder every time until he caved.” She fists hers hands on her hips. “Our relationship is one hundred percent consensual.”
I stagger to my feet. “I love her,” I tell him, hating that she’s hearing this for the first time like this. “And while I’m shocked about the baby, because I didn’t know, I won’t leave her to deal with this alone.” I turn my head to Summer. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, if that’s what you want.”
“You love me?” is her wide-eyed response.
I ignore Austin and Miley, focusing on the only person in this room who matters. Or, the only two people who matter, I correct myself, as my eyes lower to her flat stomach. “Come here.” I hold out my hand for her to walk to me because I’m afraid to move a muscle in case Austin goes for me again.
She walks toward me with fresh tears in her eyes. I reel her into my arms, kissing her forehead. “I love you so much. I was going to tell you tonight, and if you agreed, I was planning on speaking to your brother after that.”
“I love you too,” she whispers through her tears, and a hint of a smile ghosts over her lips. “And I only found out about the baby this morning. I don’t even know how far along I am. I was planning on telling you tonight, but Austin went into my room while I was in the shower, discovered the tests I’d stupidly left out in plain sight, and then this whole shit show started.”
I urge her head toward my chest, and she obliges, circling her arms around my waist. I hold her tight, pressing kisses into her hair. “It’ll be okay. I know we’ve a lot to talk about, but we’re in this together, right?”
She sniffles, nodding her head, and hugging me tighter.
I risk a look up at her brother. The anger has not left his face, and he’s glaring at me like he wants to rip my torso apart with his bare hands and remove all the vital organs from my body until I’m no longer breathing. “I know you’re pissed but—”
“Don’t even talk to me right now, James. I mean it. I can’t stand to look at your face.”
“I’ll look after her. Love her and the baby and make sure they want for nothing.”
Austin snorts. “Maybe your intentions are honest, but you have no fucking clue how to be there for any girl let alone a baby. At the first sign of trouble, you’ll run a million miles away.”
“That’s not fucking fair,” I spit out.
“Isn’t it?” He arches a brow. “Look what happened with Myndi and how much of a basket case you’ve been since then.”
“This is not the same thing, and Summer means the world to me.”
“Doesn’t mean you’ll stick around for her.”
I rub a tense spot between my brows, eager to end this conversation because he’s pushing buttons I don’t want pushed. “You know what, I don’t have to explain myself to you.” I straighten up, keeping a firm hold on Summer. “Summer and I have things to discuss in private.”
Austin opens his mouth to say something, but Summer pins him with a look the devil himself would be proud of. “I think you’ve said enough for one night, Austin.” Then she sighs, and her features relax a little. “I know you love me and you’re just worried, but you’ve got to step away from this and let me and Ryan figure it out.” She moves to his side, tentatively opening her arms for a hug.
He pulls her into his arms, squeezing his eyes closed as he hugs her close. “I’m sorry for shouting, but this has come out of left field.” Opening his eyes, he bores a hole in the side of my skull as he speaks to his sister. “This is not what I wanted for you, Summer.” He pauses for a couple beats. “And Ryan is not who I’d choose for you,” he cruelly adds, digging the knife in further. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
CHAPTER 22
Summer
“Are you feeling okay,” Ryan asks once we’ve sequestered ourselves in his bedroom, away from the wrath of my brother. “Have you been sick or anything, because you look a little pale?” He leans his back against the headrest, opening his arms for me.
I crawl into his embrace, instantly feeling less agitated as his strong arms go around me. “I’ve been sick a few times this week,” I admit. “At first, I thought it was just a passing bug, but this morning, the sickness was terrible. I couldn’t stop throwing up, and it was only then I realized my period was a couple days late. I went to the pharmacy and grabbed some tests and, well, you know the rest.”
“It’s my fault. I should’ve insisted we use condoms, but it felt so good to be inside you with nothing between us.”
I cradle his face in my hands. “We both agreed, and I’m on the pill, so it should’ve been safe. I’ve no clue how this even happened.” A little burst of laughter emits from my mouth. “I’m like one of those naïve virgins you read about in books. A few months after popping my cherry, I end up knocked up.” I shake my head, because it almost feels fictional even though I know that’s not true. No form of contraceptive is one hundred percent reliable, and we should’ve been taking extra precautions. And it’s not like I’m the first eighteen-year-old to ever get pregnant.
“Don’t say that.” He kisses me softly. “You’re nothing like that.”
Although I don’t want to, I shuck out of his arms, sitting up beside him. I can’t have a serious conversation while I’m sprawled on top of him. “Can we get serious?” He nods, threading his fingers through mine. “How do you really feel about this?”
His chest heaves, and he scrubs his free hand back and forth over the scruff on his chin as he considers my question. Then he turns on his side, still keeping our hands connected, and peers directly into my eyes, letting me see everything he’s feeling. “I think I’m still in shock, but I’m not unhappy about it. I love you, Summer, and I want to plan a future with you. I’d already decided that before I heard the baby news.” He smiles, but it’s a little off. “But I won’t lie and say I’m not scared, because I’m terrified what your brother just said out there is true. I’ve only had one serious relationship in my life, and that ended up a complete mess. I want to care for you and the baby, but I’ve never done this before. I want to be who you need me to be, but I’m scared of failing you.”
His honesty and vulnerability are exactly what I need to hear, and I’m so glad he was truthful. I press my lips to the corner of his mouth. “I love you, Ryan James, and I already love this baby.” I take his hand, placing it over the smooth planes of my stomach. “And while I didn’t plan on having kids this young, I can’t be unhappy about it. It’s a
little baby.” My grin expands. “A little miracle from heaven. A little piece of you and a little piece of me.” Tears well in my eyes, but this time they’re happy tears. “Once you are with me in this, we’ll figure it out as we go along. That’s all I ask of you, Ryan. Just be with me. Work through the highs and lows with me.”
He rubs his hand back and forth across my stomach. “I can do that.”
I sense he’s holding back. “Please say what’s on your mind.”
He looks up at me, gulping. “You’re so young, Summer. I can’t help feeling selfish for wanting you, and now, everything you dreamed of for your future has changed in an instant, and I feel responsible for that.”
“Stop.” I press a kiss to his lips. “We made this baby together. You didn’t force me into anything, and plans can be adapted.”
“I’ll take on the bulk of the childcare so you can continue with your studies,” he says, still rubbing my belly. “Derrick has already taken on more managerial responsibility, so him and Austin can manage the daytime between them, and I can cover at night once you get home from school.”
“I can drop the theater and cut out a couple of optional electives,” I add, excitement mingling with the blood flowing in my veins. “And I’m sure my mom will help as much as she can.”
Ryan’s face turns a sickly shade of green, and I can’t help giggling.
“Oh, boy. I’d totally forgotten about telling my family. If you think that was bad with Austin…” Oh shit. He has no idea what he’s in for with Dad and my other brothers. He pulls out his cell. “What are you doing?”
“Looking for a store in Newark that sells full body armor.”
No Feelings Involved: A Brother's Best Friend Standalone Romance Page 18
