by Claire Adams
Ana started to walk down the aisle, and I took the moment to straighten my mother’s dress and get her ready to walk down the aisle.
Finding love once in a lifetime was a pretty big feat, but finding it twice was downright awesome. My father had been such an amazing man; it was really uplifting to see that my mother had been able to find a second love to share her life with.
“You look beautiful, Mom. I’ll see you at the end of the aisle,” I said as I started my walk down the rose-covered center aisle of our church.
The look I saw in Scott’s eyes told me that my mother was making the right choice. He smiled at me as I walked up to the front of the church and stood across from him, but his eyes instantly filled with tears when he saw my mother standing at the back of the church. His love for her flowed from him and made me want to find a love like that.
Even the most skeptical of people would reconsider, when they saw the love that my mother and Scott had. It was deeper than just physical lust. More varied than romantic interest. They wanted to grow old together. Both of them had reached middle age and were ready to take on the second half of their life together. The drama of young adulthood was gone, and both my mother and Scott were ready to move forward with the undying love of each other.
I had been very unlucky in love throughout my life. My school boyfriends bored me, and when I got older, I decided to try dating more of the bad boy type of guys. Unfortunately, they didn’t have much else to talk about but why they hated everyone and the crimes they had committed in the past.
I really had no idea what it was I was looking for. Something between sweet and naughty, but I just didn’t know where in between there I wanted my guy to fall. Of course, I didn’t want a guy that was so sweet he seemed like my girlfriend instead of my boyfriend. But I also didn’t really want the bad boy type, either. I knew there had to be someone that was a right fit for me, though. Somewhere out there, I had a man that would make me weak in the knees with just one kiss. I just had to find him.
All I wanted was a nice, normal guy. Normal in the sense that he didn’t party all the time, didn’t treat his family horribly, and could hold a decent conversation. The pool of available men was pretty bleak. Maybe I would have to go to America if I was going to find the man I really wanted. When I watch all the American television shows, it looks like the perfect place to find a good man.
My hope had always been that I would find some sort of combination of a bad boy and a smart guy. I wanted a man who worked hard and didn’t take life for granted, but he also knew how to have fun. I didn’t want to sit home every weekend and wish I had something fun to do. I wanted my man to be adventurous, and I wanted to always have fun places to explore together.
I also desperately wanted a man who could have fun in the bedroom. I knew I looked all sweet and innocent, but I loved to play and have fun between the sheets. I’d just never been able to find a man who liked the same things I did. They were either too conservative or too wild, never was there a guy that was just right for me. Admittedly, I was still only twenty-two years old, so I had lots of time to find my prince charming. But it would be nice to at least date a guy that wasn’t a total frog.
Ana was right about at least one thing – I wasn’t going to find the man of my dreams in Liechtenstein. I needed to get out into the world and start exploring to see if I could find where I fit in best.
As my mother and Scott said their vows, I let Ana’s suggestion of looking at the men in America cross my mind. I didn’t have any intention of getting married, though, and I knew those men often wanted that. But I wondered if there was a possibility that any of the men in America didn’t want to just get married right away.
When Ana and I walked down the aisle and toward the reception area, I blurted out my agreement to sign up for the website. She had been hounding me for weeks, and now, as her departure to America was getting so close, I had no choice but to cave in and give her website idea a try.
“I’ll sign up for OK Love, but I’m just signing up. I’m not saying I’m even going to talk to anyone. I’m just going to see who’s out there,” I said.
“All right. But I know you, and I know you’ll want to talk to the first handsome guy who sends you a message.”
Ana did know me, and she was right. I gave in pretty quickly when there was a handsome guy around. But I was getting older and wiser now. I didn’t want to give in to just anyone who showed an interest in me. I wanted my perfect match. I wanted a man who would treat me right and be there for me no matter what. It was a fairytale I wanted, and I knew it very much. But sometimes, people got their fairytale.
Ana proceeded to give me the ins and outs of the online dating world. During the wedding reception, we sat in the corner, and she helped me make up my profile page. I felt very overwhelmed by how fast it was happening, but there was a small part of me that desperately hoped I would find the man of my dreams online. Others were able to find their prince charming, so why not me?
I wanted to find my dream man any way I could. He was out there, and I knew it. I just had to spend the time and do the work so he knew I was out there, as well. There were good guys in the online dating world. I just knew it. They were probably busy with work and didn’t have time for the traditional dating scene. I just needed to put some energy into figuring out which of the men were good guys and which ones were jerks.
We fought the urge to spend the entire night on the website looking at guys, and finally turned our cell phones off, after we got my profile up and running. There were so many different profiles. I found it hard to figure out what I was really looking for in the guys. I hoped I would find someone that would feel like the connection was right.
“It shouldn’t take long. You’ll have guys messaging you by the time the night’s over. Make sure you don’t give out personal information yet. And, don’t trust they are who they say they are. Many of these guys are ashamed that they are looking to date a woman out of their country. But once I figured out that they were genuinely good guys, it was a lot more fun to talk to them.”
Ana seemed so happy since she had met her guy, Gordon, on the website. I had to admit I was a bit jealous when I saw his picture and how sweet he was to her. I really hoped he turned out to be the guy he said he was. Ana looked forward to meeting him in Miami in just a couple more days, and I couldn’t wait for her full report about what he was like.
It was time for me to move forward, and as my mother’s wedding ended and she started her new life with Scott, I prepared to start my new life. I wasn’t sure exactly how it was going to turn out, but I was one hundred percent sure I was going to enjoy it the best I could.
I knew I needed to make some changes, and moving to America sounded like the perfect opportunity to make all the changes I wanted. I hoped that by morning I would have a ton of sweet guys to talk to and get to know from that website. But if that didn’t work out, I was determined to pick up another job and save my money to make my way to America. There was no way I was staying in Liechtenstein, if my mom and Ana were both leaving.
Chapter 3
Chase
Sleeping was by far one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately, it was not my father’s favorite thing for me to do. I sat up in bed as I heard his booming voice from the front room of my house.
Instantly, I regretted giving him the key.
“You don’t understand what having a job is. If you don’t show up to work, you don’t get paid. That’s what the real world is like,” my father, Reynold, said as he stood at the end of my bed.
“Slow the hell down, Dad. I went to work last week.”
“Last week. Really? Last week. I wish one of your brothers had stayed with the company. It makes me sick that you’re the only one willing to work for me, yet you don’t work at all.”
I saw the vein in my father’s neck pulse as he tried to calm his emotions over my work ethic. I didn’t actually mind going to work, but no one seemed interested in my opinions, and
the company was still stuck in the ’90’s most of the time. That was exactly why my brothers had all moved on to other jobs. Dad never let anyone have an opinion in his company. When I made suggestions for streamlining our processes or adding social media, I was often met with negative feedback.
“You’re my son, Chase. And I had always hoped that I would be able to pass the company on to you, but I don’t know.”
“Dad, come on. I’m working hard. I just do a lot of shit from home. And, let’s be honest, you would have picked any of my brothers over me if they had wanted to be involved in the company.”
“Chase, you have to set an example. You’re more than just my son. You’re a high-level executive in the company and everything you do reflects back on us as an organization. And, we aren’t talking about your brothers. Jackson, George, Nathan, and Jeremiah all had their opportunity to work for me, and they chose not to. You made the choice to work, so I expect you to actually work.”
“I know, Dad. I try to set a good example.”
“Then, why did I pick up the newspaper this morning and read a story about you flying to Dubai with the wife of an Atlanta Braves player?”
I cringed.
I had hoped that story wouldn’t get published, and even had tried to bribe the tabloid not to write it. But knowing that it had been published in the Herald meant that more than just the tabloids had pictures from that trip.
“In my defense, I didn’t know she was married.”
“Chase, she has her wedding ring on in the photo.”
“Hmmm, that’s a wedding ring?”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You spend your nights out with married women, and you’re drinking and partying all the time. I’ve just about had it with you. Life isn’t all about fun and games. When are you going to settle down? When are you going to get over this wild phase?”
“I’ll come to work today. Will that make you feel better?”
“Don’t mock me, Chase. Either you want a job at Foster Industries or you don’t.”
“Dad, give me a fucking break. You’re not going to fire me. I’m your son.”
“That’s it. I’m done with this. I thought closing our joint accounts was enough, but apparently it isn’t. As of today, I will no longer carry your loans, pay your debts, or provide you any financial assistance. You want to be a grown up, then I need to see you start acting like one. Settle down, find a nice girl, maybe even show up for work.”
“Are you seriously saying you’re not even going to pay for my house until I settle down?”
I saw my father think about everything for a moment. I knew he wanted me to calm down my lifestyle, and I had felt the money pinch when he stopped paying for most of my things. But cutting me off entirely meant I would have no money at all.
“I planned to hand this company over to you at the stockholders’ meeting. Now, I can’t see that as an option. I’m going to start looking for a suitable replacement.”
“Seriously, Dad? You’re going to fucking leave me with nothing?”
“You have until the shareholders’ meeting to get your life together. I don’t know exactly how you’re going to do that in only a few, short months. But if you don’t, I’ll hand the company over to someone else. I would suggest you start by showing up to work every day!”
He turned and walked out of my room. The look on his face showed me that he was one hundred percent serious. I had seen that look before, and there was no way I could fight him on that. I had seen the same look in his eyes when he had told all four of my brothers they either needed to commit to working with him or leave.
I had seen that look in his eyes, when I was in high school and continually fucked around and got bad grades. My father had always allowed us to make a reasonable amount of mistakes on our own, but at some point, he would snap and put his foot down. He got tired of the messing around and forced my brothers and me to make a decision about what it was we really wanted out of life.
My brothers had all tried to work with Dad, but he was too difficult for them to get along with. The job itself was a great job. The company was a great company. The problem always came back to working with Dad. He was stubborn and stuck in the past. Any kind of innovation was difficult for him, unless it was specific to the parts we made and the costs to make them. He seemed to totally miss the idea that social media, websites, and other changes could really bring in a lot of money or save a lot of money.
But I had to try. I couldn’t let him push me out of the company as he had my brothers. I wasn’t really good at anything else. I had to make it work with my father.
All four of my brothers had business degrees and other passions they wanted to pursue. I didn’t have anything else I wanted to do. I loved working at my father’s company. I just needed to fix things and bring him into the future. The constraint of showing up to the office day to day wasn’t really my thing, either. I liked it much more when he sent me off to check on our vendors or factories. But, I also needed to build up my persona so people actually took me seriously. I couldn’t make any changes if everyone just thought I was my father’s fuck-up of a son.
I jumped up and ran after my dad.
“Dad, don’t leave like this. Let’s sit down and talk about this. Stay. Have some breakfast.”
He paused at my front door and looked at me as if he was going to just leave.
“Make me some eggs and we can talk. But I’m not changing my mind. You need to show some kind of stability, or I can’t give you the company. Stockholders need someone they can trust, and they aren’t about to trust you after all the publicity I’ve seen about you and your women lately.”
“I know, Dad.”
“What happened? You used to be so invested in the company. Is it all the women?”
I had to laugh. My father talking about me and my women was pretty damn funny. He was the king of affairs and secret rendezvous. Admittedly, that was all in his past. It was still hard for me to talk about leading a moral and upstanding life, with a man who had cheated on my mother at least a dozen times while I was young.
My memory wasn’t all that good, but I could still remember a few of the women I had seen him with. My mother used to drive me past his office at lunchtime, and she would check to see who he was going to lunch with. Most of the time, it was a young blonde or brunette from the office. Sometimes, he would meet the women at a local restaurant, and other times, they left work with him.
I still remembered how he’d grab onto them and kiss them with so much passion that my mother would burst into tears. As a young boy, I vowed never to do such a thing to a woman as long as I lived. That was why one-night stands worked better for me.
The few times I had been in relationships, fidelity was something I could always assure my girlfriend of. I absolutely refused to ever cheat on a girl. Although, if they chose to cheat on their men, that didn’t seem to bother me as much. One-night stands were the best solution I could come up with. I met them, enjoyed them, and moved on. There wasn’t any of that emotional stuff to bog down my life with.
Women often didn’t even bother to hide the fact that they had a boyfriend or husband from me. They seemed justified in their betrayal and often told me of all the affairs their man had already had, and that they were in search of getting even with him.
I suspected that the baseball player’s wife I had traveled with probably made sure the paparazzi knew where we were. She was angry with her husband and desperate to get back at him, after he had an affair with a famous actress.
It seemed a sad existence to stay in a relationship where both people just wanted to have affairs and hurt the other person. That certainly wasn’t something I ever wanted to deal with. If I ever did find a woman to settle down with, I figured I would know she was the right one because I wouldn’t want to let her go after just one night.
“Here are your eggs,” I said as I joined my father at my kitchen table.
“Chase, I know it seems like I'm hard on you, but
you have to get your life together. Meet a nice girl or something. Find a hobby other than sex and alcohol. You need to start finding your way in life.”
“I know, Dad,” I said.
The truth was I had thought about living a calmer lifestyle, but I just hadn’t been motivated enough. Spending my nights at clubs and parties was an easy way to keep busy all the time. I didn’t have to worry about the silence of being home alone or the loneliness of not having people in my life that cared about me.
Gambling had also recently become a fun hobby of mine. I enjoyed dabbling in some underground poker tournaments and betting on sports games. It was a surprising advantage when you knew the quarterback of a team was going through personal problems with his wife. Or when the head pitcher had just cheated, and his wife kept him up all night yelling at him.
I did have my family and my two best friends, Mathew and Carlos. But everyone else had their own lives and didn’t have time for me very much. My brothers were all busy. They just had too much going on for me to bother them. My best friend Carlos got married – it was a sad day when he got married to Maria. He had been my last hold out on the party scene, and when he settled down, I had to start going out alone. Mathew had a steady girlfriend and never spent much time away from her at all.
“Here’s the deal, Chase. You still have your job. Start showing up, and you’ll get a paycheck. It’s plenty enough for you to live on, if you stop buying rounds of drinks at clubs and throwing your money around like you have a money tree.”
“How can I show you I’m responsible enough to take over?”
“I don’t know. You’ll just need to start making some major changes, and we can talk about it. Certainly not seeing your face on the front of any newspapers for a while would help your case.”
“Dad, I’m going to make you proud.”
