by Rob Sinclair
‘Falling out of love with someone is the hardest thing in the world to do,’ she said. ‘Falling in love is much easier … and more fun too.’
He guessed he didn’t really have experience of either. Though the way she’d said the last sentence had made him shiver. In a good way. Was this what falling in love was like?
She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He turned his head just as she pulled away and pressed his lips against hers, kissing her hard. She responded without hesitation, parting her lips.
After a long, slow kiss, he said, ‘So what do you want me to call you then?’
She laughed, ‘Carl, you can call me whatever the hell you like. Actually, I quite like it when you call me Grainger. Feels kinda kinky the way you say it.’
He laughed too. ‘How about Agent Grainger.’
‘Phew!’ She wiped her brow theatrically. ‘Special Agent Grainger would work even better!’
‘So, Special Agent Grainger. Are we ready to go?’
She looked at him blankly. He held up the piece of paper.
‘No way, Carl,’ she said. ‘Giving you the address is one thing, but I can’t get caught up in this. My career could well be over now and it’s not going to help matters one bit if I actually go there with you. I could even end up in jail over this!’
‘But you already are caught up in this,’ Logan said. He didn’t want to appear unsympathetic, but he was determined to have her with him. ‘Plus, it was you who got me caught up by bringing me the address,’ he added.
She looked hesitant. But he wasn’t going to let her say no. She’d already shown herself to be capable, and he would much rather have her help than not. And not just because he couldn’t get enough of her.
‘We’re in this together now,’ he said. ‘Let’s finish it together. It could even save your career if you’re there to walk Modena out.’
‘I already said it: no.’
‘Do you have your piece?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Then we’re ready to go.’
‘Logan, I said no!’
But her protest was futile. He started the engine and pulled away from the kerb.
Chapter 49
The vehicle came to a sudden stop. With his hands cuffed together behind him, Modena struggled to keep his balance and he fell sideways, smacking his shoulder off what he guessed was the side of the van. The engine shut down, the constant reverberation that had been coursing through his body for hours and making him feel queasy finally coming to an end. The men in the van began to talk in a language he didn’t understand but which he assumed was Arabic, then he heard the doors of the van being opened.
Someone grabbed his arm and pulled Modena toward him. He kicked out with his legs, trying to keep his feet on the floor of the van, but failed. His body fell out of the vehicle and crumpled to the ground. The man still had hold of his arm and it twisted around painfully as he fell, causing Modena to shout out.
‘Get up!’ shouted a voice. The man was still pulling hard on his arm, then he felt a dull whack as a strike, from what felt like a fist, landed hard on his back.
‘Get up!’ shouted the voice again.
Modena struggled as best as he could to get to his feet. A second man grabbed hold of his other arm, giving him the help he needed, and they escorted him along. His feet were bare, and although he was struggling to focus on the feeling in them because of the pain still flowing through his body from his ordeal, it felt like they were walking on soft, wet ground. After a few pained strides he was ushered up two cold, hard steps and then the ground became warmer. He assumed he was now inside.
‘Sit,’ one of the men said, pushing Modena down to the floor after he’d been marshalled to a stopping point.
Modena dropped to the floor, his backside smacking off the hard surface, causing it to go numb for a few seconds.
He heard the two men walk away. For a while after that there was almost complete silence. No more voices. No sounds of footsteps or other movements. Just a low-pitched electric hum – which Modena guessed was from either lighting or heating – and the sound of his own breathing telling him he was still alive.
Modena wondered what was happening. His hands were tied together but his legs were free. He could get up and walk if he wanted. He could reach up and pull the sack off his head.
He could try to escape?
In the end he didn’t move. He just sat there on the floor, his mind wandering in and out of reality.
Finally, after what seemed like an age, during which time Modena was not sure whether or not he had drifted off to sleep, he heard the sound of footsteps coming toward him. He lifted his head. Seconds later, he recoiled when he felt fingers around his neck. At first he thought someone was going to choke him, but he soon realised they were loosening the sack on his head.
When the cloth bag was removed from his face it took Modena’s brain a few seconds to recalibrate his sight and decipher what his eyes were seeing. And when the man kneeling down in front of him finally came into focus Modena gasped, then moaned.
‘Hello, Frank,’ said Selim. ‘I hope you enjoyed the ride.’
Modena didn’t say anything. There was still the same disconcerting calmness in the way that Selim spoke, but Modena detected something else in the man’s gaze that hadn’t been there before. Not worry, but something close to it. He didn’t know what had happened at the previous place they’d been keeping him, but he’d heard the shouting and the gunshots. He’d hoped against all hope that the commotion was a rescue mission, but the hope hadn’t yet come to fruition.
‘Oh, Frank, come on now, don’t give me the silent treatment.’
‘Where are we?’ Modena mumbled, curiosity getting the better of him.
Selim got to his feet, smiling. He waved his arms in the air as he spoke. ‘This is where you give your swansong.’
Modena shook his head, barely feeling anything at Selim’s words, resigned to his own fate now. He knew there was nothing he could do to save himself. No amount of begging would make a difference. He just had to pray that someone else would rescue him.
He looked around the room they were in. It was dank and dark and in disrepair. He was sitting on a bare wooden floor from which some of the boards were missing. The walls were a dirty white, small holes marking where clumps of plaster had fallen off. At the large bay window long drapes, stained and worn, closed off whatever view lay outside, but Modena could tell from the light behind them that it was still daytime.
‘You remember the little video that you helped us to prepare?’ Selim said, sitting down right next to Modena, their shoulders brushing. ‘Well, I’d like you to take part in another one for me.’
Selim moved forward onto his knees and swivelled around theatrically so that he was in front of Modena again, his face only inches away.
‘I’m sure you can imagine the type of video this is going to be. You’ve seen them, heard them being talked about before, haven’t you? Only this one is going to be bigger, bolder. I’ve been waiting for someone like you for a long time, Frank. And the whole world will be in suspense to find out what I do to you.’
Selim leaned right in, his nose touching Modena’s. He grinned, then spoke almost in a whisper. ‘And, Frank, with what I’ve got planned for you, I’m not going to disappoint them.’
Chapter 50
Grainger sat for a few minutes not speaking to Logan, her face screwed up, trying to look angry, but she didn’t raise any more objections. She’d guessed Logan would want to take her with him; it was the assuming manner in which he’d gone about it that had irked her. The ideal would have been for him to go after Selim alone. But it was important for her to do everything she could to get Modena back safely. Ultimately she knew that they both still needed each other.
Plus, she genuinely wanted to spend more time with Logan. There was no denying that the feelings she had for him were strong. Stronger than she had ever expected they would be.
She rubbed the band of white flesh on he
r wedding finger, from instinct more than anything, then quickly stopped when she saw Logan looking. He didn’t say anything but she couldn’t help but blush.
What would Tom think about what she was doing now? With Logan? And what would her dad think, for that matter?
It wasn’t hard to answer. She knew exactly what they would both think.
She tried to push the thoughts out of her head. Everything in her life she had done to try to please other people. Perhaps it was time she started to do things for herself for a change.
Which was exactly the reason she wanted to help Logan.
The address they were heading to was in Dunkirk, the port town in the far north of France. It would be simple enough to get to the town, but after that they were going to need help.
‘You could have just taken my GPS,’ Grainger said. ‘It was in the car. It would have been a lot easier than trying to find our way there through guesswork.’
‘Yeah, but that would have given you an excuse to get out of my car. You might not have come back.’
Grainger huffed, more for effect than anything.
Factoring in the time to get around and out of Paris, plus the mileage displayed on the road signs, Grainger estimated the drive would take about three hours. It had been close to dusk when they set off, which meant they would again be arriving at their destination at night.
‘There’s no guarantee Selim and Modena are there, of course,’ Grainger said, shuffling in her seat. ‘But from talking to the other officers and from everything I looked at myself – and I looked at a lot – it was the only thing that even hinted at where they could be.’
‘That’s good enough for me,’ Logan said. ‘Like you said, there isn’t anywhere else where we think he might be, so we have to check this out.’
‘Do you think Modena is still alive?’
‘I hope so. Having been so close to getting him, I feel like we owe him one. And knowing what Selim might be doing to him …’
‘Yeah, best not to think about that.’
‘But I think he is alive,’ Logan said with confidence. ‘Selim wouldn’t have gone to all the trouble of crossing Blakemore like that if he was just going to kill Modena straight off. He could have just shot him in the head back at the farmhouse if that was the case.’
‘Yeah. Good point.’
‘I’m really glad you did this for me,’ Logan said, turning to Grainger.
‘Just what did he do to you?’ she asked, her intrigue getting the better of her.
Logan took his eyes off her, facing the road again, and didn’t answer for a good while.
‘You really want to know?’ he said, his eyes still fixed on the road ahead.
‘Yes.’
He let out a long sigh but eventually gave in.
‘The aim was to break up a network of terrorist training camps,’ he began. ‘We wanted to find and capture the ring leaders and those who were financing the operations. This was a big deal. Not just my agency, but every major intelligence agency around had a finger in the pie somewhere. There was one guy I was trying to find. He seemed to be the key to much of what was happening. But he was like a ghost. I didn’t even know it was Selim I was after until it was too late.’
Her stare was focused on him the entire time he spoke but he didn’t look over at her. She didn’t say a word. Just let him carry on.
‘Selim caught me just as I was starting to put the pieces together. I thought I was going to meet with someone who had been a trusted informant for me for months. But it was a setup. They ambushed me. Selim held me prisoner, tried to break me, tried to find out what we knew and who knew it. But it was personal for him too. He wanted to get his own back. I’d already caused him so much trouble – a number of his close allies had already been captured or killed because of my work. He said he wanted to show me how vengeful he could be.’
Grainger watched as a tear rolled out of Logan’s eye and down his cheek. He seemed oblivious, almost in a trance, as he recounted the story.
‘This girl … I didn’t even know her – she was just some girl he’d picked up. But the things he did to this girl, right in front of my eyes …’
He tailed off, finally dabbing at the tears rolling down his face. Grainger still didn’t say a word.
‘And do you know why he did it?’ Logan said.
Grainger didn’t know whether he expected a response or not. In the end he carried on.
‘Because he could. He just wanted to show me that he could. That he was in control. Her life was nothing to him. Just like mine. I begged him to leave her alone, to hurt me. But that just made him more determined.
‘You can be trained to deal with pain. Trained not to break under torture. I was. And it worked. Would I have broken eventually? Probably. Your mind and body can only protect you for so long. But he knew that she would suffer more under torture than I would. He knew that he could cause even more suffering to her than he could to me. And that it would damage me in the process. He wasn’t after information from her; she didn’t need to be cognisant. So there were no limits to the things that he could do. To the things that he did do to her.
‘They never train you for that. To see someone else suffering so badly? Someone as defenceless as she was? And to know that it was my fault – that caused me more pain than I have ever felt.’
Grainger reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, wishing she could do more to comfort him.
‘Carl, that’s what makes you human, feeling like that.’
He shoved her off.
‘But don’t you get it?’ he said, his bleary eyes looking at hers for just a second before returning to focus on the road. ‘I felt it, but I didn’t do anything. I never broke. I stayed true to my country, or whatever the fuck my loyalty was to. To my job. But I never broke once. I didn’t tell Selim a single damn thing! I could have made him stop if I’d told him what he wanted to know. If I’d told him what we knew. If I’d told him anything. I could have given him the names of other agents, of people in his own camp who had turned against him. But I never did. I didn’t tell him a thing. I just watched for days as he slowly butchered a defenceless girl. You could see it in her eyes. Pleading with me to say something to make him stop. But I didn’t do a thing. I could tell from the way she looked at me that she knew all of her suffering was my fault. And she was right. You think that makes me a good man?’
‘Yes, I do. How many other people, other agents, informants, would have suffered if you’d talked? And you all get to carry on. Carry on bringing down the likes of Selim.’
‘Are their lives worth more than that girl’s?’
‘Maybe not, but they’re worth just as much. One life to save many.’
‘It shouldn’t have been her life, though. It should have been mine.’
‘But you are still alive. And you will get him.’
And she was going to do everything she could to help him do it. Because she knew what it meant to want revenge so badly that it clouded your every thought, your every move.
‘I’m alive,’ he said, ‘but it was nothing to do with me. It’s a strange feeling to know that you’re only alive because of someone else’s actions. To know that without them you’d be dead. That you have no control over your own existence.’
‘Don’t forget, I do know that. You saved my life.’
‘Selim was going to cut my head off,’ Logan said, almost off-hand. ‘I don’t know if he was just tired of me or if he was getting scared that we were on to him, that his days were numbered. He was only seconds away from doing it as well. It was only by a miracle, or really bad luck on his part, that he didn’t succeed in killing me.
‘Special forces troops rescued me. They stormed the place, but Selim got away. I was left with a gaping wound in my neck that should on its own have killed me. But somehow I made it. No-one could explain to me how. The doctors just kept telling me how lucky I was. Yeah, really fucking lucky. Fit to fight another day.’
They both fell i
nto silence for a while. Grainger wasn’t sure at first whether or not he had finished his retelling. She couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of elation inside that he had opened up to her like that, even though it was an ordeal for him. Not just because she now saw exactly why her attraction to him was so strong – because of the painful experiences that they both shared – but because she knew that Logan was going to stop at nothing to get his man. And with his help, she was soon going to be able to finish this thing once and for all.
‘Thank you for telling me,’ she said. ‘I know it must have been hard. Most people would have given up after what happened to you. But you didn’t. You’re back, you’re still fighting. There aren’t many people who could do that.’
‘Thanks. For listening to me. For trying to understand.’
‘And what you said before,’ Grainger said, ‘about us being the same? I see it now. Both of us had the chance to save someone’s life. And we both failed. And both of us have paid the price.’
‘Maybe,’ he said, wiping away the remaining tears from his face, a resolute look returning to his eyes. ‘But now it’s time to make it right.’
Grainger smiled to herself. You’re right, Carl, she thought. Now is the time indeed.
Chapter 51
The roads had been busy initially as they fought their way through the Paris commuter traffic, but as they drove further north the motorway became quieter and they reached the town of Dunkirk not far short of nine o’clock in the evening.
‘Are we going to go straight there?’ Grainger asked. ‘Or shall we rest up first?’
Resting was certainly a welcoming option. They were both tired, having had little sleep over the last forty-eight hours. The pasta Logan had eaten in the afternoon had all but been digested. It would certainly be nice to eat and sleep.
But they were here now. So close.
‘No, we should get this done,’ Logan said. ‘There’ll be plenty of time for resting afterwards.’
‘We could grab a motel room again. Just sleep for a few hours. Go out in the early hours like yesterday. We’d be a lot fresher that way.’
