by Liz King
My hands fly up to my bleeding nose as Sly brings his fist back attempting to land another blow and another, but I block him with my forearm. I don’t fight back. I am numb to the pain.
Seth manages to get between us and shoves Sly away, back into the middle of the living room, as I slide down the wall to sit on the floor. “Calm the fuck down!” he barks at Sly. “Beating the shit out of him isn’t going to help anything! Back off!”
“It sure as hell is! That fuck could have killed her!” Sly bellows.
“He didn’t push her, man! She fell!” Seth retorts. “I saw her. I was there!”
“He fucking broke her! She was already a broken mess before he met her, now I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back!”
I can’t argue with him there, but for fuck’s sake, he didn’t even know what she had been through. He was right there when that dick raped her, he was friends with him, then lived with him, and he didn’t see what Matt was capable of. If he was supposed to be Lynae’s best friend, so in tune with her life, he should have known what Matt did to her. I may have broken her further, but I will be the one to put her back together again.
“Listen, Sly, I know I fucked up. But you did too! You let that piece of shit get close to her. I’m gonna make it up to her. I promise. I just have to get her to talk to me.”
“You stay the fuck away from her. I don’t give a shit what you have to say!” Sly squares his shoulders.
Seth is still standing between us, afraid that Sly may attack me again. He holds his hand out to help me stand up. He looks cautiously back and forth at the two of us. “Sly, you need to calm the hell down or just leave. This isn’t the way to deal with this stuff.”
“What the fuck do you know?”
Taking a step towards Sly, Seth shakes his head. “I was there, dumbass! I saw her fall! Maybe I shouldn’t have let her come up here, but I know what happened was an accident.”
I wipe the blood off my face, get up, then take a step towards Sly. “I love her. I will always love her. I’m not going to let her or the baby go through this alone, and I will be there for her. I don’t care how long it takes, or how many times I have to tell her I’m sorry, or how many times I have to beg.”
Sly whips his head around. “What did you just say? Baby?”
“You didn’t know?” Seth asks.
I thought surely Lynae would have told him when he went in to see her. She tells him everything. Well, almost everything. I guess the hothead ran out of the room before she got a chance to talk to him, or she doesn’t know yet either. No, she has to know. Lynae is an extremely smart woman, and there is no way that she didn’t understand what Dr. Greene was doing when she woke up.
Sly lunges across the room, tackling me to the floor. He has the collar of my shirt gripped tightly in his fist, and he’s practically sitting on my chest. I can barely breathe. “She’s pregnant? And you treat her like that! You fucking bastard!”
I try to push Sly way from me, but the fucker is strong as hell. “I didn’t know! I was drunk! I said some shit, but I swear to you, I didn’t hurt her on purpose!” I shove against Sly’s chest again, but I can’t move him. “I swear!”
Seth is pulling at Sly again. And now, I can see that Marcus has come up the stairs. “What the fuck?” he yells, then finally manages to help Seth pull Sly off of me. Marcus tosses Sly on the floor and gets in his face. “Listen, man, I know you’re pissed about what went down with Nae, but you need to chill out. Beating the shit out of Connor isn’t going to do anybody any good. You get me?”
Sly grunts and stands to leave. “Stay away from her. Don’t go near her again.” He gives me a pointed stare. “If I see you anywhere near her, I will kill you. Matt already tore her apart, now you shattered what was left. Leave her the hell alone!”
I’m left panting on the floor, trying to catch my breath. I hate myself for putting Lynae through all of this pain. She’s already been through way too much. Sly’s right, I did shatter her.
After Sly stalks down the stairs, I make a vow to myself. I will not leave her alone, no matter what he says. I will not stay away from her. I can’t live without her. Lynae is my very reason for living. I don’t care if I have to walk through Hell and back again, I will get my family back. Lynae and the baby, they are my family. The only family I care about.
~
Laying with my head tilted back resting on the armrest of the couch, I hear the door open and close. I lift up the ice pack from my nose so I can see who it is and I immediately drop my head back down. Gabbi comes charging through the doors, tossing her bag on the kitchen island. Damn Wade for giving her a key to our apartment.
She comes over to the couch, shoves my feet off the end and plops down beside me. I can feel her eyes boring into me through the ice pack. “Sly sure did a number on you, didn’t he?”
I merely grunt in response. Of course she knows that Sly has been here. Who else would try to pick a fight with me other than myself?
“Listen, dipshit.” Gabbi smacks my leg, still trying to get me to respond to her. “You hurt my friend. I really want to kick your ass, but I’m not.” She reaches over, snatching the ice pack off my face, forcing me to look at her. “I said listen to me!”
“What?”
“I know that you didn’t mean all that word vomit you spouted at Lynae. You were a drunk ass. I get it. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to say that stuff.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. For fuck’s sake, I know that there is no excuse.” I grunt.
Gabbi shoves at my legs again. “Damn straight there’s not any excuse. She’s scared and she’s confused right now. I didn’t know about all that shit with Matt, but holy shit. You need to get your head out of your ass and get your act together.”
I sit up and rest my elbows on my knees. “Had she calmed down when you saw her? I was only with her for a few minutes after she woke up, and she was pretty hysterical.”
“I don’t know how long it was before we got there, but Michelle and I came down as soon as her nurse called us. Sly was just walking up the stairs too, so we went in together. She got pretty upset,” Gabbi tells me. “As soon as Sly got to her, she broke down again, but he stormed off. I guess you already figured that part out.”
Looking over at her sitting beside me, I ask, “Does she know? About the baby?”
“Yeah. She knows. She’s scared. Lynae said she’s afraid to talk to you.” Gabbi gently starts rubbing my back up and down.
“I love her so fucking much it hurts.” I groan. My throat feels like it is going to close up at any moment. Tears are threatening to spill over the edge. I try taking some deep breaths in and out to control it, but it’s no use. My cheeks become wet as the pain becomes too much. “I can’t live without her. I need her so damn much.” I bury my face in my hands and let it out.
I vaguely feel Gabbi scoot closer beside me as she continues trying to console me. I don’t deserve her attention. She should be at Lynae’s side, helping her. My sweetness is the one that needs someone to take care of her. “She’s not by herself, is she?” Lynae doesn’t need to be alone right now. I wish I could be the one to be with her, but I know I’m the last person she wants to see.
“No, Michelle was going to stay with her until her dad got there. John was on his way over,” Gabbi reassures me. “Just because I’m being nice to you doesn’t mean I forgive you. I really hate you right now, but Wade told me to give you a chance to explain yourself.”
I nod my head in acknowledgment. I don’t blame her at all for hating me. I am really surprised she’s sitting here talking to me at all. I would have expected her to stay with Lynae and Michelle. I am glad to hear Michelle is still with her though. I don’t want her by herself.
The thought of Lynae having to face John and tell him about the baby without me kills me. I should be sitting there holding her hand while she tells him that he is going to be a grandfather. I know John would be pissed as hell at me that she’s pregnant, but n
ow he’s going to really hate me for the damage I’ve caused his little girl. They have such a strong relationship. I envy them, but I’m so happy that she has his support in her life.
“So, dipshit. Talk. What the fuck possessed you to turn everything ass backwards and make what I’m sure is one of the biggest mistakes of your life?” She glares at me.
That’s exactly what I did. I turned everything, what did she say, ass backwards? All Lynae was trying to do was get me to open up and talk, and I went and got stupid drunk and took things out on her. What can I say to her? “I fucked up. I think that’s about all I can say. Lynae and I had a fight. She didn’t do anything wrong, but I didn’t give her a chance to explain. Then I tried to bulldoze my way back in and made things worse. She tried to get me to explain what my problem was, but I pushed her away. I went out, knocked way too many back and then, like the complete ass that I am, I made more out of what I thought I saw. And I… I said things to her that I shouldn’t have.”
“Yeah. She told us about what you said about Matt.” Gabbi smacks me across the chest. “I didn’t know about all that shit before today. You should have fucking known she didn’t ask for it! Hell, you were the first man she let within ten feet of her other than patients, coworkers, or Sly!”
My back stiffens just at the thought of Matt touching her. I really want to kick the shit out of my own ass for what I said to her. “I know that! I was fucking drunk and pissed,” I growl but calm myself down when I see Gabbi jerk back at my forceful retort.
“I can see why she’s scared of you right now,” she hisses back.
Holding my hand up, I look at Gabbi. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. She just makes me so crazy. I feel helpless right now. I’m the reason she’s lying in that damn hospital bed, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“There is something you can do about it. You can get your shit together. Grow some balls and be honest with yourself and her about whatever the hell had you acting like a fucking lunatic.” Gabbi stands up and looks down at me with her hands on her hips. “I may be royally pissed at you, but I know that you love my girl more than anything. I can see it in your eyes, but you aren’t going to be any good for her unless you fix yourself.”
“Thanks, Gabbi. You don’t have to stay out here. I’m sure Wade will be back soon.” I try to dismiss her. This is what I do. I push people away. Wade and the guys are the only ones that know everything about my past. Hell, Wade and Marcus were there when it all went down.
Luckily, Gabbi takes the hint. She smiles at me, then turns to grab her purse before heading back to Wade’s room. “I’ll always be here if you need to talk, Connor. Anytime.” Gabbi calls out before shutting the door behind her.
After everything, she tells me that she’s here for me. I can’t believe it. I’m glad to have her on my side. I have a feeling I’ll need all the help I can get to try and win back Lynae’s love and trust. I can’t live without her. She is my life. I know I probably need to give Lynae some time to recover and let her mind wrap around everything happening right now, but I can’t help myself. I don’t expect her to answer her phone. Hell, I don’t even know where her phone is right now, but I have to reach out to her.
Me: Sweetness, I will always love you. I will always need you. Always. Forgive me.
Chapter Four
Lynae
“There’s my baby girl.” Daddy’s voice is thick with emotion when he walks in the room. “Michelle, can you give us a little bit of privacy?”
Michelle hugs me gently again, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll be back after dinner, Lynae. I love you.” She gets up then walks into Daddy’s open arms. “Love you too, John.”
Daddy hugs her and kisses the top of her head before she walks out of the room. He stands there staring at me. I’m afraid of what’s going through his head. What has Dr. Greene told him other than I’m awake? I don’t want to disappoint him, but I’m afraid I have. “Hi, Daddy.” My voice sounds small. His gaze on me makes me feel like I’m a little girl again.
“Hi, baby.” Daddy walks over and gently sits on the side of my bed, placing his hand on my knee over the blankets. “I was so worried about you.”
I see tears about to fall from Daddy’s eyes, and I can’t help but throw myself into his arms and hold him tightly to me despite the pain in my ribs. I bury my face in his neck and inhale deeply. Daddy always smells so good. It’s a sweet and musky scent that is just him. He smells like my daddy. His big, strong hands come around to cup the back of my head and hug me back. “I’m so sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry.” My voice is muffled by his shoulder.
“Honey, what are you sorry about?” He takes my shoulders in his hands and pushes me back so he can look at me. “There is nothing to apologize for. I am so happy you’re awake. You scared me to death. Don’t ever do that to me again. This old heart can’t take it. And if you’re here in the hospital, who is gonna take care of me?”
I muster a smile. Perhaps the first one I’ve had since I woke up this morning. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too, baby girl.” Daddy cups my face, his thumb stroking along my cheekbone. “You look so much like your mother.”
I do look like Momma. I have her eyes and smile. He tells me this all the time. Especially when he is feeling really emotional about something. I’m sure I am what he is feeling emotional about right now.
Daddy pulls his hand back and regards me intently. “I’ve talked with Dr. Greene. He told me a little bit about what happened with Connor this morning. And he told me about the baby.”
I recoil at the mention of Connor’s name. Daddy seems really calm about all of this. I don’t get it. I was half expecting him to come barging in, guns blazing with his fury, not this calm and collected man in front of me. I sag back onto my pillow and look into Daddy’s eyes, still waiting to see the disappointment.
“Honey, where is Connor? I really expected him to be here when I got here. He hasn’t left your side the last two days, except when I came in or Sly was around.”
I get it now. He doesn’t know about the fight. He doesn’t know about why I’m in here. “I made him leave. I couldn’t look at him anymore.” I turn my face down and fidget with my fingers. “I’m so confused, Daddy.”
“Kara Lynae, what happened?” His voice takes on a stern tone. He senses my unease and knows that something is going on. “Did Connor do something? Did he hurt you?”
I nod my head up and down. He did hurt me, but not really physically. I feel the ache in my chest as if there’s a knife slicing through me, but that’s not a physical hurt. How can I tell my father that Connor accused me of sleeping with Sly and actually wanting what happened with Matt? I know Daddy knows that it isn’t the truth, but the more I say the words out loud, the more I see Connor’s face in my mind as he was saying all of those awful things. He looked like a stranger to me.
I tell him about our first argument the night Connor had gone out drinking and found me asleep on the couch with my legs in Seth’s lap and his attempt at reconciling with me in the break room. Although I leave out some parts; he doesn’t need to know about me almost having sex on the floor. I tell him about Connor and Michelle finding me passed out in the bath tub and the intense talk afterwards. God, if I hadn’t pushed or if Connor would have just talked to me about what was bothering him, all of this could have been avoided. I know it has to have something to do with Kaitlin or his parents. The only other time he’d gotten so upset with me was when I overheard him talking to Wade about her birthday.
When I get to our massive fight at the top of the steps of Connor’s apartment, he looks like he is practically vibrating with anger. I know Daddy blames himself for a lot of my withdrawal from social situations growing up because he didn’t pick up on what happed with Matt, and now that it was being thrown back in my face, he could rip someone apart. That someone being one Connor Reeves. “Daddy, he didn’t push me. I really did fall.” I know that it sounds like I’m defending
him, but as much as I hate Connor for what he said, I know that he would absolutely never physically hurt me on purpose.
“I could have lost you. You are all I have left. I can’t handle losing you too.” His voice is thick with unshed tears. “You are my world, Kara Lynae. My entire world.”
I look up at the man I most admire. “You didn’t lose me, Daddy. I’m right here. I may be a little broken right now, but I know I will put myself back together again. Are you mad about the baby?”
“I wish the circumstances were a bit different, and that the father wasn’t someone I want to do serious bodily damage to right, now, but how could I be mad about having another part of you come into this world?” Daddy says, gently placing his hand over mine, resting on my belly. “I’ll be having a word with Connor, trust me. He needs to take responsibility for his child, and I need to find out exactly what the hell his problem is. I can’t take you getting hurt any more than you already are.”
The thought of Daddy and Connor talking makes me nervous. I’m worried that Sly has already had a “talk” with him and I’m sure that Daddy would certainly finish him off. He already warned Connor when they first met that if I was harmed in any way he would be met with serious consequences. Now, with the physical trauma and the utterly broken heart, there is no telling what Daddy will do or say to him.
“I’m so scared, Daddy. I don’t know what to do.” I look into his eyes. “This isn’t how things were supposed to go. I’m so confused right now. Part of me wants to hate him, but the other part still loves him.” And that’s the part that is hurting so bad. I feel the tears trying to break over the barrier of my eyes. God! When will I ever be able to stop crying? I can’t take it anymore!
The hospital door comes flying open and crashes against the wall.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sly yells.
Sly’s shirt is untucked, and he looks totally disheveled. His hair looks like he’s been running his fingers through it repeatedly. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Sly runs up to my bedside, crouching beside Daddy. “First you keep everything from high school from me, and now you keep this? What the fuck?”
