by Cora Davies
But then Eli spotted Claire and smiled, grabbing a few more red baskets he walked over to the three of them.
"Thank you," Claire said as she took a basket. Moments earlier, she was sure she had seen enough cheeseburgers to a last a lifetime, but the cheeseburger in her lap was the most intoxicating thing she had ever smelled.
"Mind if I sit here?" Eli patted the bottom half of Claire's lounge chair, and she nodded.
She ignored Molly's wiggling eyebrows, but vowed to ask her later how she made them wiggle so effortlessly. Claire returned Rachel's glare, taking a bite of her food.
"Oh my God," she mumbled when she finally swallowed, "this is amazing."
"Yeah, it's the blue cheese and avocado sauce I make for the top. Pulls it altogether," Eli said, winking at her.
"Really?" Claire asked.
"No, not really," Eli teased. She studied the little laugh lines around his eyes. "It's Jack's sister's secret sauce. I've got no idea what she puts in it. But it tastes like avocado. Something green anyway."
Claire giggled, jumping as Rachel tossed a French fry at her head. She wiped the ketchup from her forehead. "Well, it's amazing. You guys should sell this by the bottle. I'd buy some."
Molly pulled Rachel into a conversation about a new craft supplier for their store and they ate in silence. From time to time, Claire glanced up at Eli, sometimes finding him looking at her.
He never turned away when she caught him. There was something ancient inside of her, fighting against her sanity. That ancient thing wanted her to grab Eli by the collar and-
"Biology?" Eli said, and Claire dropped a fry.
"Biology?"
"Are you ready for Biology? Monday night," Eli said. "That school thing we're doing."
"Oh yeah. Biology," Claire said. "No. Not at all. I read we have to dissect a fetal pig, and I'm telling you right now I'm going to pay someone to chop mine to bits."
"You'll be fine; I'll help you," Eli said, flicking her knee. She remembered his touch on her knee in art class. She willed herself to keep it together.
Her knees and her sanity.
"No, not help. I need someone else to do the whole thing, start to finish. I can't do it." Claire pulled her hair out of her braid and massaged the top of her head. She worried about the dissection since the day she read about the requirement. "I didn't think they did that anymore."
"I can't make any promises, but I'll see what I can do," Eli said, an easy smile settling over his face. "That means you'll have to save me a seat Monday night if you get there first; I'll do the same for you."
Claire picked at the leftover piece of her bun. "That was the best burger, ever."
Eli reached for her basket. "I'm gonna grab a beer. Do you want one?"
"I'm okay. Thanks," Claire said. Eli got up and walked to the cooler. Disappointment seeped into her when Frank and a couple waitresses started talking to Eli. He settled into the conversation, leaning against the wall.
"Oh, he likes you," Molly whispered, leaning over Rachel to pinch Claire's arm. "I can tell; he never talks that much."
"He does not," Claire said, willing Molly to lower her voice. "We only met Thursday."
"Oh, that's stupid," Molly said, smacking the empty water bottle against her leg. "You can like someone you've just met. In fact, I think you have a crush on him, too." Molly stretched out the word crush so it had three syllables.
"It doesn't matter," Rachel said, shoving Molly. "She's going out with my guy, Ben is perfect for her."
"I know Eli better than you know your guy; he is perfect," Molly said.
Claire leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes and ignoring the other two. They could plan her love life without her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Eli spotted her the moment he stepped into the classroom. Claire sat at a lab table, chewing on a pen cap. She was leaned over her desk, on her phone. A black backpack rested on the chair next to her. Her hair pulled up in a messy knot, held together with two pencils.
Eli approached Claire, reaching out to pull a pencil out and let her hair fall. But before he reached her, another girl stood in front of Claire. He thought he recognized the girl from his accounting class last week. She pointed at the chair next to Claire.
"Is that your bag?" the girl asked in a nasally voice. Definitely the girl from accounting.
"A friend is sitting here, actually." Claire turned to the girl.
"I saw you put that bag there. You can't save seats." The girl poked the bag and Claire's shoulders straightened. Before she said anything, he slid behind her, grabbing the backpack and placing it on his lap as he sat down.
"Thanks, Claire," he said, sliding her backpack onto the shelf under the table in front of them.
"I was going to sit there," the girl said.
"You'd better find a seat; I think class is about to start." Eli nodded towards the teacher, scribbling on the whiteboard, before turning to Claire. "Ready to chop a dead animal to bits?"
The girl huffed, stomping down to the empty seats at the front of the classroom. Sure she was out of earshot, he said, "I saved you. She's in my accounting class and she never stops talking."
"Thank you," Claire said, smiling warmly. It was like she thawed the January chill from his bones. The next thing to melt away was the classroom, leaving the two of them floating on their own island.
"That's two times I'm saving you in this class," Eli said.
"We've yet to see if you come in handy during dissection." Claire drummed her pen on top of her red notebook.
"I promise, if we can get away with it, I'll do it."
"How do I know you won't be squeamish?" Claire wiggled her shoulders.
"I hunt and fish; a little pig dissection won't do me in."
"You're a mountain man."
"I wouldn't say that." Eli laughed. "Hey, I'm sorry I bailed on you Saturday night."
"Hmmm?" Claire asked, opening her notebook to a blank page as the projector turned on.
"I was gonna come back, but then I got wrapped up in this conversation about the menus and by time we finished talking, you disappeared."
"No big deal. I didn't expect you to come back." Claire said. The start of a smile played at the corner of her mouth.
The teacher cleared his throat and started speaking in a monotone voice about course expectations. Eli tuned him out as soon as he said everything discussed in class would be given in a handout. If Claire had not groaned at one point, Eli would have missed the fetal pig conversation.
Eli smiled at Claire, but she was busy taking notes. A strand of hair fell out of her bun and hung in front of her face. Without warning, he tucked the strand of hair behind her ear.
Should he have done that?
Her pencil froze but she did not say anything. It was all over now. He wanted her. No longer a question about it. Except, what was he going to do about it?
"Groups of four, we'll pair up this table and that, this table and that," the teacher said as he walked around the room, tapping desks. "Exchange information, if your schedules don't allow for you to get together, then find someone else. We'll allow for the last twenty minutes of class today to figure this out. The first part of your project is due next week."
"What?" Eli asked.
"A group project," Claire said, smiling at the two girls who scooted their chairs closer to their table.
"Hi, I'm Mandy," the blonde with a One Direction shirt said. "I'm taking pre-reqs while I wait to get into the nursing program."
"That's great, I'm Claire. I'm finishing up my teaching degree."
"That's cool! I'm Lila," said the other blonde, this one wearing a red t-shirt from Seaside Cove Burger Joint. "I'm just taking classes to keep my mom off my back."
"I'm Eli. Accounting."
Eli sat quietly, letting the girls work out the schedule. After ten minutes of discussion, mostly between Claire and Lila, they decided on Monday evenings at Claire's.
Aware of Mandy's gaze on him, Eli ignored
her as much as he could. It was easy to do; he had plenty of practice blowing women off at the brewery. What women saw in a bartender, or a thirty-year-old going to college, he would never know.
He had his pick most nights, and if he had met Mandy right after his breakup with Bridget, she would be at his apartment by the end of the night. Instead, he draped his arm over the back of Claire's chair and relaxed. A ballsy move, but she barely seemed to notice.
"Okay, I guess we'll see you guys tonight," Lila said after they exchanged information. She and Mandy dragged their chairs back to their table.
"What's with the arm? Not into the One Direction crowd?" Claire whispered, doodling a design on the corner of her paper. Eli pulled his arm off the chair and leaned forward to inspect the design.
"Not big into the just out of high school crowd." Eli watched Claire out of the corner of his eye. He looked at the design again. "That's bad ass."
"Ha! I don't know if I'd say bad ass." Claire made another sweeping line on the paper. A crude silhouette of a fox, inside the body was full of lines, dashes, swirls and stars in tiny grouped clusters.
"I didn't think you were artistic."
"It's a zentangle. An art form for people who can't draw. See?" Claire drew a square, filling in every corner with more detail, small flowers and weeds, stars, hearts and squiggles. "Everyone can do them. My daughter taught me how to draw the fox shape, then I fill it in."
"Your daughter? The three-year-old?" Eli asked, admiring the new design she drew.
"The six-year-old, but good try. My son is three. Here. You try." Claire finished the design and offered Eli the pen. He took it and added to her work, drawing a second, larger fox next to hers.
"They stay with your... their father all weekend?" Eli asked. Around them people gathered their books and walked out of the lab, but Eli wanted the moment to last a few minutes longer.
"My ex-husband keeps them extra days right now while I'm going to school." Claire pulled a small bag of walnuts out of her backpack and offered him some. He shook his head. "He has them Friday through Sunday. Rachel said she'd watch them for me Thursdays, but he is in the middle of life regrouping -- don't ask -- and he wanted to prove he could be a better father."
"And a better husband?" Eli said, coloring the tip of the fox's tail a solid black.
"No. No. No. No. That ship's sailed." Claire's eyes went wide as she shook her head. "Anyways, he doesn't approve of me going to college; so it's just brownie points with the kids he's earning. None with me."
"He doesn't approve of you going to college?" Eli asked, setting the pen down. What kind of archaic asshole was this guy?
"He tells the kids if I cared more about them, I wouldn't leave them to go to school." She rolled her eyes and tossed a few walnuts in her mouth. "He blames our divorce on homework. Even though he- Wow. I'm rambling."
"Rambling is good. Right? Sometimes people have to talk things out?" Eli said. The classroom had almost emptied except for a few students and the teacher, busy clearing the whiteboard for the next class.
Claire's phone buzzed. "Next class starts in five minutes."
Eli pulled into Claire's driveway, coveting her location. The cabin sat nestled in between the pines, almost hidden within its depths. A dream. He could see a yellow lab curled up on the porch, kids playing in the yard, a grill with a steady stream of smoke rising into the air.
The front curtains pulled open, the three women stood in the living room. One of the younger girls spoke animatedly, and Claire threw her head back, laughing. It was the first time Eli had seen her laugh like that; she looked years younger in that moment.
Eli stepped out of his truck and walked across the gravel driveway, enjoying the silence. It did not sound like Claire had neighbors for miles. Bliss.
His weight sunk into each step as he climbed to the porch, they needed to be replaced. He rapped, listening to muffled giggles. Claire opened the door smiling. She mouthed "They are so young."
"Come in." Barefooted, Claire had changed since he last saw her. She wore a loose green skirt and an oversized black sweater.
Eli stepped in, taking in the room as he kicked off his boots. More than just the steps outside needed updating, he could tell by the age of the walls, and a faint dampness to the air, probably only obvious to him.
"Cool cabin."
"Thanks." She pointed at a fold up chair at the table between the two other girls, and he sat down. "It's not much, but it's home."
Lila cleared her throat and pulled out the research assignment packet. They discussed how they would split the work. While she talked, Eli's eyes traveled over the walls of the living room, studying the few pictures. They were mostly of Claire's children.
The little boy was a spitting image of Claire with his dark eyes, hair and olive skin. The girl could pass for Rachel's twin in coloring, but her face was a youthful Claire.
Claire and Eli spent the hour taking notes as Mandy and Lila discussed the project and read excerpts from the packet. They were both happy to pass the reigns over to the younger girls while they did the grunt work. After forty-five minutes of discussion and plans for a meeting the next week, school talk wound down.
Lila and Mandy were talking about a TV show and Claire yawned. Eli glanced at his phone, almost midnight.
"Can I help clean up?" Eli asked, hoping Lila and Mandy would get the hint.
"If you want to get the card table for me, I'd appreciate it. It always sticks when I'm trying to fold it," Claire said.
"It's late!" Lila said, dropping her phone into her purse. Lila and Mandy scrambled to gather their books.
"Goodnight guys!" Claire said as they slipped into their shoes. "Thanks for everything."
Lila and Mandy waved, stepping out the door. Eli worked on the card table, Claire was not joking when she said one leg stuck. He had to pound at the joint to move the leg.
"This thing has seen better days." Eli finished folding the table and pointed at the glitter and paint splattered top.
"It's a yard-sale find, but I don't want to buy a new one. I want to get a real table for the kitchen this summer. It only needs to last until then." Claire reached for the table.
"I can put it away before I go," Eli offered.
"It's okay. I keep it in my disaster of a kitchen." Claire placed one hand on the table.
"I don't care; my kitchen's always a mess. Pizza boxes on the counter, empty bottles of beer. What do you have? An empty carton of milk?" Eli teased.
"No, it's much worse." Claire shook her head. "It's going through a remodel-"
"I love remodels. Jack and I did the whole dining room ourselves," Eli said. Intrigued about the remodel Claire was doing and not wanting to say goodbye to Claire so soon, Eli said, "Please."
She sighed and let go of the table. She pushed the door to the kitchen open. Eli followed her into the other room.
It was not as bad as he expected. Around half of the cabinets and countertops had already been removed and were stacked neatly in the corner. When he and Jack had demo days, it had never been this neat.
"You're doing a good job tearing this stuff out." Eli leaned the card table against the wall. He walked to a cabinet with missing doors. "Everything in here looks original, too bad you can't keep some of it."
"I know. But the problem is my grandfather didn't do any upkeep. So now I'm looking at a house that's falling apart." She opened a bottom cabinet, and the door fell off in her hand. "All the rooms need something; this room is just the worst. No wait, the living room."
"The living room doesn't seem that bad." Eli looked at the pile of scraps in the corner. He could fit it all in the back of his truck right now and drop it at the dump in the morning.
"Not now, but we were getting splinters in our feet. I bought cheap carpeting and covered it to protect our toes. It's tacky, but it works for now." Claire sounded exhausted. "There are so many things that need to be done, sometimes it seems like it would be easier -- not to mention cheaper -- to bur
n it down and start from scratch."
"You don't want to burn it down." Eli laughed. He imagined Claire with a container of lighter fluid, burning it all down. Eli picked up a hammer sitting in a door-less cabinet and wiped a film of dust off of it. "Been a while since you worked on the demo?"
"Confession. I have never worked on the demo. I inherited the house from my grandpa when I was still married. My ex-husband wanted to remodel the kitchen. His way to make up for... for a lot of things. But like everything else, he left it half-finished, and I haven't had time, or the interest in working on it." Claire tossed a piece of junk mail from the counter into the trash. "I know I must sound lazy to you, but-"
"You don't sound lazy." Eli had made his way to Claire somehow, closing the space between them. He did not even remember walking over to her. Without hesitation, he took her hands in his. "You work, you go to school, you have kids. Lazy's not on the list."
Her eyes were on his chest, avoiding his gaze. His closeness. Was she as nervous as he was, standing this close? Something happened every time he touched her; his skin prickled and came alive. Like an energy source filled the layers of his body. Her eyes kept pulling him, like a current in the river.
Her hands, still in his, trembled. He let go.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Eli looked away, studying the doorknob.
"Scare me?" Claire asked, something different about her voice. Something heavier, as though she drifted away. Had she fallen down into the current with him?
"It's the middle of the night." Eli should not have taken her hands. He should not have been that close. He needed to leave. "I wasn't going to do anything. I swear."
Claire stepped towards him, chewing on her bottom lip again. And again, he imagined pulling her lip through his own teeth. Not the best thought to have when he was trying to convince himself to leave.
"What if I wanted..." her voice, so soft, almost inaudible.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Rooted amongst the mess that was her life, Claire froze. What if she wanted what? What could she say? What if I want you to do something?
