by K Ryn
Slowly, his Guide raised his head, his eyes wide and searching.
"Jim..."
"It's okay. You can let go now."
Blair shivered and shook his head uncertainly.
"It's okay," Jim repeated. "I won't go anywhere without you. I promise."
"You'll wait? You won't leave?"
"I won't leave."
"I almost lost you," Blair whispered, his face stricken.
"You saved my life," Jim corrected him.
"Not me... the panther..."
"No, Chief... it was you. You're the one who guided me back."
Reassured by the trusting words of his Sentinel, the fear and tension melted from the young man's face. Jim eased into a sitting position. Gently disengaging Blair's cramped fingers from around his wrist, Jim wrapped his own longer ones around his partner's. "It's my turn to lead for a while," the Sentinel said softly. "Rest."
A familiar smile flickered across the young man's face and he nodded. Blair closed his eyes and slipped easily into the blackness that had beckoned for so long. As he sagged forward, Jim's strong arms wrapped around him, easing his battered body onto the bed, holding him close.
When Jim glanced up at Simon, his eyes were filled with the uncertainty and concern that he hadn't allowed Blair to see.
"Simon, get the doctor."
Three days later, Jim opened the door to the loft and ushered his limping partner inside. Blair tottered over to the couch and dropped onto it with an exaggerated sigh of relief that brought a smile to Jim's face. "Glad to be home?"
"Glad doesn't come close, man!" Blair replied, gazing around at the familiar surroundings happily. "You know I hate hospitals!"
"Just checking, Chief," Jim teased. "I would have thought you'd enjoy being the center of attention. There were more than a few nurses who looked sorry to see you go."
"Hey, the nurses were great. It's the doctors I could do without. All that poking and prodding..."
"You had them stumped, partner," Jim responded with a grin. "It's not everyday that they get to examine a human lightning rod."
Blair's head jerked up, a flicker of fear lighting his eyes. Jim immediately regretted his choice of words. His partner was still carrying around the physical reminders of what had happened to them and if his own confused memories were any sample, he knew that Blair's head was filled with painful images that would take some time to sort out.
"Sorry, Chief."
Blair dropped his head, staring at the hands that lay motionless in his lap. An awkward silence seemed to grow between them until Blair's soft voice broke the quiet.
"Actually, I'm the one who owes you an apology. I guess I'm not a very good Guide after all."
"How's that?" Jim asked quietly, easing himself into the chair across from the couch.
"I almost let you die."
"I thought we'd settled this," Jim countered, remembering the soul-searching talks they'd had over the last few days. It disturbed him that while his own memories were oddly peaceful, his Guide's were filled with pain and doubt. It had taken some doing, but Blair had finally told him everything. Jim knew he'd have his own nightmare's now about leaving Blair behind -- about walking away from him without a backward glance. How could he have done that? He wouldn't do that. Not in this reality.
"If it hadn't been for the panther, you would have died," Blair said flatly. "I just didn't get it. I forgot what a Guide is supposed to do. I panicked and ran after you. If I'd stayed in control I would have realized that you were having some kind of 'zone-out'. I should have concentrated on finding a way to make you listen to me."
"Blair, you risked your life to save mine. Twice. I read Daryl's statement and those of the other kids. I know that I would have died right there, if you hadn't come charging in when you did. And I would have died in that other... place... if you hadn't been there to lead me back. It was so beautiful there, so tempting to walk into that pulsing light and the peacefulness that it offered."
"Maybe I shouldn't have stopped you." He raised his head to meet Jim's gaze questioningly.
"Wasn't my time or place," Jim answered firmly. "That's why the panther was there." Jim saw the doubt still lingering in Blair's eyes and suddenly knew he had the right words to finally erase it. "You weren't ready to go. 'It's about friendship. I just didn't get it before.'"
Hearing his own words repeated back to him brought a tentative smile to Blair's face. A smile that grew as he saw the strength and commitment shining in Jim's eyes.
"Let's hope it's your version when it happens, man. I wouldn't wish mine on the devil himself."
END
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