by Lisa M Basso
I was fired, of course, after leaving in a hurry without so much as a call to her. But she’d let me pick up my last paycheck and the GED study materials I’d left there.
Goodbye to holding down a job. I should have known life wouldn’t let me—or even Lola Penmis—have the one thing I wanted. I should have known a “wings only” problem would come up to wreak havoc on everything good in my life.
I wouldn’t be swinging by there today, even though I had my first GED practice test scheduled in two days. Hell, I might leave the GED books for the next Lola Penmis. It’s not like an invisible girl would need anything resembling an education to remain invisible.
Maybe in another life it could have all worked out, but not in this one. In this one I was made up of sacrifices and borrowed time.
On my way to the hospital my phone rang. It was Lee again. “I heard about your dad. Ray, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for the other day at the pier. It was stupid to be mad. Ray? Hello?”
I sat there in the cab with the phone pressed to my ear and said nothing. Lee’s words filled me with a deep, raw sadness. I wanted Lee back in my life so badly, but what would that mean for him? Lies, danger, and everything in between. He didn’t know what he was asking for. Lee was my best friend, the one person I’d been able to rely on for anything and everything. I needed to let him go.
Something bright shone through the cab’s windshield. I looked up from the phone to find a bright set of angel wings. The cab zipped passed them. I turned in my seat, expecting to see Cam attached to those brilliantly gold feathers shimmering in the sun. Instead. I caught sight of another man. One who looked eerily familiar. Our eyes met before the cab turned the corner. A glint of fear showed in his face. We recognized each other from Arizona. He was one of the angels I’d attacked on the streets of Safford, before I knew angels were real and that I wasn’t crazy.
I lifted the phone back to my ear. “Lee, I think I just saw another one.”
“Thank The Doctor. I thought you weren’t there—” His relief and Doctor Who joke fell flat as he took a beat. When he spoke again his voice was much more serious. “Another what?”
“You know.”
“Good or bad?”
“Well, good. I think.”
Lee exhaled. “It could be worse, right?”
“I guess, but listen, I’m sorry too.”
“Don’t worry about that. How’s your dad?”
“As far as I know, the same.” The cab pulled into the hospital’s drop-off zone. “I’m here now. Would it be cool if I call you later? At this number?”
“Of course. And Ray, if you need anything, including a place to stay, I’m here.”
A place to stay? “What about your mom?”
“It’s a big house, she doesn’t have to know. We’ll get creative.”
“Thanks, Lee, but I have a place to stay.” I paid the driver then exited the cab.
“And where is that?”
“With Kade.”
“Who in the Whoniverse is Kade?”
Oh, then it had been a while since I’d really talked to Lee. “A friend. Sort of. It’s complicated. Listen, Lee. I appreciate it, but my living conditions are… fine. I’ll call you later and we can catch up.”
I hung up before stepping into the hospital, and this time, I couldn’t help smiling. Lee was my friend again. I could give up a lot of things for this damned angel/Fallen dispute, but maybe my best friend didn’t have to be one of them.
When the elevator doors opened on the eleventh floor, Cam was waiting on the other side. “What are you doing here?”
I tugged self-consciously on my ratty wig. “Checking on my dad.”
In one swift movement Cam spun me around and followed me back into the elevator. “Your aunt and sister are in with him now.”
“How is he?”
“Still in a coma. They’re waiting for the swelling to go down so they can stop the medicine, but…” The elevator traveled up one more floor to let a man off then started to descend. “There’s a chance he might not wake up. I just keep hearing them say brain injuries make it difficult to determine how things will work out.”
I studied my shoes, worn and dirty, my earlier smile becoming a rapidly fading memory.
“Are you okay?” He draped his hand lightly over my shoulder.
I forced a nod, but felt like I’d been run through a shredder. Dad: coma, Aunt Nora: aware of me not only being alive, but local. Laylah: still hating me. Kade: who knew? And Cam: at least he was here.
Another blow would hit soon. Of that, I was painfully aware. From everything I’d learned from life in my short sixteen-and-a-half years, when crap was flying at you from all angles, more was sure to come, even when you thought you couldn’t take another ounce. Life had a way of showing us all our breaking point. The problem was, it never stopped once I reached mine.
The doors dinged open at the first floor. “You don’t look so good.”
I inhaled to bite out an “I’m fine”, but I wasn’t. I dug my thumbnails into my index fingers. “I saw another angel.”
With his arm secured around my shoulders, Cam led me out of the elevator, passed the people crowding us for an inch of valuable elevator space, and out the front doors. “I heard there will be more in the coming days.”
“Why?”
“Let’s go somewhere. As long as Laylah and Nora are in with your dad, they won’t need me.”
The cab ride was quick. The entire time his arm remained around me. I hadn’t been paying attention, so I had no idea what neighborhood, or even what street we stopped on. Being lost in thought was too all-consuming. We exited the cab and walked through a set of glass doors with large brass handles, polished to a shine so bright they rivaled Cam’s wings in the sun.
Inside, I almost tripped over my own feet while trying to take in everything around me. The grand lobby shone like nothing I’d seen before. Pale marble floors reflected the luster from the crystal chandeliers. Two elegant side tables held large vases of long-stemmed white roses along the right wall.
“Good morning, Mr. Wright,” a man dressed in an expensive-looking suit and tie greeted Cam and pulled a tight smile out for me, Mr. Wright’s dingy-looking guest. I smoothed the fringe of bangs on my tangled wig.
“What is this place?” I whispered when we stood in front of the dual sets of gold elevator doors.
He punched the button in the center. The doors slid open to reveal wallpapered excellence. Beige and cream had never mixed together in this gorgeous of a pattern and tone before. My worn-out Chucks sank into the elevator’s carpet.
“When I’m…in town, this is where I live.” He tapped the five button and up we went.
“Wow,” I breathed out the word. Another ding and the doors opened again. I followed him down the hall and into his apartment.
He led me through the foyer and into the living room. I didn’t know where I imagined him staying when we were in school together, but this well-decorated almost-palace was definitely not it. Rich cream carpets covered the floors. The walls were painted dark blue with a bright white chair rail along the bottom. Sheers covered the large windows that bathed the rooms in more light than I thought the gray sky was capable of.
“I’m truly sorry about your—”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
The white Victorian-style couch with dark wood around the top and hugging the bottom just begged to be enjoyed, but I wasn’t about to be the first one. The spotless fabric screamed: “You’ll ruin me!” So I remained on my feet.
Cam moved behind the couch, gripping the carved woodwork along the top. “There are a few things I’d like to clarify with you.”
“Not about that either. Anything else,” I said. He hesitated, his face falling. “Please,” I added, and decided angels could probably spot-clean as well as the rest of us and took a seat, though I refrained from leaning back.
“Okay. How—”
“To clarify”—I twisted ar
ound to look up at him—“tell me something about you. Something good.”
Half of Cam’s lower lip disappeared between his teeth. I fought back a smile at the very human gesture. “I had a lot of time to think when I left Earth.” He circled to the front of the couch and sat down beside me. His wings shimmered through the back and arm of the fabric. I pretended not to notice, feeding off the subtle hint of excitement in his voice. “I did realize something.”
“Something good, I hope?”
“I think so.” He took my hands in his so smoothly, it was like he’d done it a hundred times before. The sureness of the gesture kept me from pulling away, which was my first instinct, thanks to living with Kade and his tricks for the last month. “It was about you.”
My heart ratcheted up, my wings lifting a fraction. “Me?”
“Humans. Life on Earth. The simplicity, and the beauty.”
This was the closest to a normal conversation Cam and I had ever had. Everything else had always revolved around Az, angels, or the killings at our old school. But this—Cam talking about everything and nothing and all—this was gold.
“I noticed so much more the last time I was here. Things I never noticed before.” His fingers relaxed away from mine. Since I wasn’t a hundred percent into holding hands anyway, I watched him stretch out his fingers.
“The way the sun filters through the trees, the leaves both blocking the light and letting the smallest amount in. Sleeping restfully and being woken up by songbirds. Sunsets. Shoes.”
I looked at him with my head tilted to the side, blond fringe staying straw-stiff.
“They really are great inventions,” he clarified. “Speaking to someone and making them smile, or laugh, with just your words.” His gaze focused behind me, toward the window. His knee fell against mine, but he was a thousand miles away with his toes buried in dirt or sand, spinning in circles with his head thrown back, savoring the very taste of the air.
Neither of us said anything for a long time. He continued to stare outside and I continued to watch him. His eyes and mouth moved in almost imperceptible ways. I imagined him reliving so many small moments, all of them instilling a different brand of wonder on this angel’s face. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt any of those things. I stayed as still as I could and tried to experience them again, with him.
“It’s good to be back,” he finally said. His slate gaze found its way to me, looking me over like he hadn’t seen me in years, only slanting once on my wings.
“You must have been here a hundred times before. What made last time different?”
“You, I think. I thought about you a lot. Much more than I should have, I’m sure.” I could feel myself blushing, could practically see the bright pink blotches staining my cheeks. “While getting to know you, Rayna you opened my eyes to so much.” He slid closer to me, eyes intent. “And we did things we shouldn’t have done, but I don’t regret them.”
“The kiss?” Heat built in my stomach.
This time when he nodded, it wasn’t his usual sure-of-himself, Protector-Cam nod. It was something softer, almost human. “I wouldn’t take that moment back for anything. No matter what happened.”
“Neither would I,” I said. Even though complete chaos had erupted in my life, I’d never forget my first kiss. Or the angel that gave it to me. My gaze dropped to his lips, turned up ever so slightly on the outside corners. Instead of warning myself of the dangers, I self-consciously licked my own lips.
“Rayna, I…”
He stopped, but I nodded anyway, my chest swelling, waiting to explode with tension.
This was the moment I realized we were alone. For once Cam and I were completely devoid of prying eyes. We were in his apartment, on his couch.
“…I’m so sorry for—”
I shook my head. This was not what I wanted to hear. I felt myself slowly being pulled closer to him by some indescribable force, like magnets crossing an incredible distance to meet.
Cam nodded in that same shy, almost human way and my stomach flip-flopped. Then he swallowed. “You… made me feel. For something more than just my assignments.”
For Cam, this was practically a declaration of love.
Inside my body was going haywire, but in all the right ways. I wasn’t sad or annoyed. I was almost… alive again. But I needed more; this little taste of happiness wasn’t enough. I tested my voice.
“Cam.”
It came out weak and low, but it was still there. The voice that I had been hiding away, covering up—that part of me was still alive. “When you left I thought I’d never see you again and it almost broke me.” I scooted closer. Our legs touched. “But you’re back, and so different. Everything’s different.”
My fingers touched his cheek and slid down to his hard jaw. It wasn’t tense like every other time we’d gotten close before. He was relaxed. His fingers trailed down the sleeve of my sweater and up again, lingering on the back of my neck. Slowly we inched closer, needing to be near each other.
“Can we do this?” I asked even as both of us crept closer.
“I don’t think I could stop myself this time, even if wanted to.”
And just like that his lips brushed mine. Soft and sweet and fiery hot. The blood in my veins sizzled. His lips disappeared then came again. His soft sigh blew against my cheek; his breathing was ragged. He pulled away and looked at me like he could have for hours.
My heart pounded so hard I swore he could hear it, but now my lips felt cold from his absence. The quick kiss wasn’t enough. I pushed to my knees and leaned into him again, my lips finding his with so much ease it was like they belonged together. His lips froze, as if in surprise, but it didn’t take him long to wrap his arms around me and give in. My hands rested against his chest. I leaned in farther, desperate to be closer, to lock in this feeling of happiness. We toppled back onto the couch, our bodies pressed together. The ends of my wig hung over my shoulders and onto his. With Cam beneath me, it was easier to be so close, to use his lips to ward away the pain inside me.
Nothing, not even Kade’s training, helped me feel this way.
Kade. The very mention of his name crumpled my stomach with guilt.
No. He wasn’t allowed to make me feel this way. Kade lost his chance when he hooked up with someone after baring his heart—all lies—to me. He didn’t just lose his chance with me; he never had one to begin with.
So then why did Cam’s lips suddenly feel cold beneath mine? His touch became just fingers, his body nothing more than skin and bone. This wasn’t what I wanted. I pushed off him, separating us by necessary inches and looked at him. This wasn’t what I wanted.
Something clicked, a noise that wasn’t the old couch creaking. Cam sat up, pulling me with him. Standing in front of the fireplace was another angel.
Chapter Eleven
Rayna
My heart hammered. Cam and I peeled ourselves apart, taking separate sides of the couch. The sudden instinct to apologize for our behavior bubbled up inside of me. In my haste to chase away my sadness, I’d forgotten that for Cam, and for this offense—feeling too much and especially acting on it—there was no I’m sorry. There was only Falling and black wings and cynicism. There was only change.
Oh, God. What have I done?
Cam leapt to his feet. “Sir.” That one word echoed in the room for what seemed like an eternity.
Both angels stood ramrod straight, like steel was forged to their spines. But the new angel didn’t move.
I wanted to drop my head into my hands, to hide in my shame, but I couldn’t look away, so I just stared with my head down. Even being able to see only the tips of the other angel’s wings, neatly tucked away, and the lower part of his calves, I knew he was more than just another angel.
Where had he come from? These angels were worse than cats the way they could sneak up on you.
Moments passed too slowly while Cam and I waited for him to speak, to move, to do something more than stare at an empty
fireplace and unadorned mantle.
“So you’re the one with the sight. I was wondering when we’d meet.” His voice was deep, but smooth, like a still river—the kind that swallowed you whole the instant you waded in.
I dared to look up.
Cam’s gaze shot to me. The calm, almost human Cam was gone, replaced by the angel. The angel I should have remembered he was five minutes ago. I couldn’t read his stony expression, but his thoughts had to be racing. Mine were warring with my stomach for most freaked out. He swallowed once again, and I got the impression he wanted me to talk.
“I…I guess I am.” My voice broke. “We—”
“It’s good Camael brought you here.” The angel turned around, the motion sharp, but slow. His gaze leveled just above my shoulders. “You and I have much to discuss.” The planes of his face were well-sculpted. His jaw was wide, and more rectangular than square. His eyes were a mild brown, as was his hair and highly arched brows. The set of his lips was perfectly proportioned to his face: wide and narrow, like his eyes.
“Sir?” Cam’s steady voice wavered.
“My name is Elyon,” he said to me, disregarding Cam. “I can’t divulge my rank to you, as you are human, but know that what I’m about to tell you is the truth and should remain between the three of us.” He crossed the room without looking at me again, and without so much as acknowledging Cam, even though he was standing there like a wounded puppy. “Your ability to see us, Rayna, is remarkable, but we believe it didn’t happen by accident. And it isn’t the first time.”
So he really wanted to get right into it. Okay. As long as he had answers—the one thing I’d been longing for for months. And he sure seemed willing to gloss over the fact that Cam and I had probably broken like ten angel laws on this very couch. I shifted in my seat, but refused to let him see me fidget. “I’m not the first?”
“There was one other on record, long before you.” He spun to face us. Black slacks and a blue-striped dress shirt were well-fitted to his tall form. He wasn’t muscular, but he wasn’t all lean either. A bland blue tie was knotted at his neck. The only thing out of place was a long, sheathed sword hanging from his black leather belt.
