by Tara Brown
“Fine.” I was saying it a lot, but nothing was fine.
“We’ll wait here.” Sage smirked, no doubt thinking something mean about the little crack Shack coffeehouse. I know I was.
Lain strolled in, looking uncomfortable. She tugged at her tee shirt and fidgeted with her fingers.
The place smelled heavenly.
I wanted to make a joke about the little hole in the wall, but the smell of coffee and baked goods was intoxicating. The scent even improved the ugly wooden tables and mismatched chairs. It could have been a community hall or a church if not for the tasty treats wafting through the air.
Fortunately, I didn't feel out of place in my grubby sweats and hoodie. Everyone else looked like they got dressed in the dark. They didn't lift their heads to stare at us or even notice us.
Except one person.
I cringed when I saw Mr. Boswell turn and stop, holding his coffee. Our newest addition to the staff at our academy was not one of my favorite teachers. Lainey’s back straightened when she saw him. He was the geography teacher who had basically accused her of cheating. The class had been tense since then.
But instead of pretending he didn't see us, he grinned. Maybe because we appeared so out of place. “Good morning, ladies.” His eyes darted to mine and I saw the sympathy rolling around inside him. “How are you?” He asked it like he genuinely cared.
“Good.” Dying. Brokenhearted. Crushed.
“Miss Allen. Are you excited Christmas break is upon us? One more week.”
Lainey nodded, giving him her best cold shoulder.
“Can I ask you a weird question?” He sipped his latte, getting foam over his top lip.
“I guess.”
“Do you have an eidetic memory?” He went right for the money shot, foam on his lip and all. He didn't try to be nice or beat around the bush.
She bit her lip as her cheeks flushed and her eyes lowered. “Yeah.”
“So you didn't need the cheat sheet?” He sipped again, narrowing his gaze.
“No.”
“She probably stepped on it and it got stuck to her shit. Someone else’s.” I smiled wide.
“Of course.” He shook his head. “I didn't mean to pry. It’s just that you ace all the tests, and since the whole cheat sheet thing, I have watched you constantly. You finish before everyone. You don't seem to work for it. I had a friend just like you. I recognized the symptoms. You have an uncanny memory, just like her.”
“She does.” I nudged Lain. “Worst grudge holder ever.” I gave him the small dig.
“So what are your plans for Christmas? How do the elite enjoy the holidays? Is it the same as us commoners?” He mocked us back. He was good.
“Not likely. It’s a lot like a Jonathan Swift satire.” I rolled my eyes and took the phone up to the counter to get the coffeehouse weirdo to have a look.
“The fact you know who Jonathan Swift is surprises me.” Mr. Boswell laughed.
“She’s full of them.” Lain laughed, easing up a bit.
I left them to talk. “Hi.” I tried not to sound like an asshole.
The dude at the order counter with the hipster beard nodded. “Hey.”
“This summer I kinda hooked up with this chick from here, Hailey.” I lifted the picture on the phone. “I drew this,” I said flatly, like there wasn't an ounce of care in my voice. There really wasn't. I was still in shock from Finn’s betrayal.
“That's pretty good. Looks just like her.”
“I know, right? Anyway, I have some shit to give her. Some of her stuff she left at my place. Do you know where she’s working now?”
He shrugged. “No, man. Hailey split a while ago. I’ve seen her a few times, but she’s only ever in town for like the day. You can leave it here if you want.”
“Okay, but the thing is, I kinda want to see her.” I really forced it out. “She’s hot. I can’t resist that dark hair.”
I turned around to see Mr. Boswell tilting his head with a puzzled expression on his face as he looked at the picture on my phone. “Hailey, the girl who worked here?”
“Yeah.”
“And you?” His confusion grew.
“Huge lesbian.” I shrugged as Lainey’s eyes widened. “I dig that whole emo thing.” I almost laughed bitterly but the lie was a hard one for me. I wanted to scratch her eyes out, not contemplate her and I making out.
“Can’t say I saw that coming. I thought you and Jenson had a thing.” He said it like he was young and cool and not a dorky teacher. But he didn’t fool me.
“We did. I’m flexible.”
Lainey cringed. “Anyway, we need to get going. See you in class tomorrow, sir.”
“Yeah, me too.” He turned and started walking out with us. “I’ll walk you out.” He gave me a look. “I’m sorry about what happened to you. All joking aside, I’m sorry.”
My jaw dropped. I wasn't prepared for him bringing it up. He had no tact, none.
“My mom worked at Hatton Head. She retired a few years ago, always hated it there. It’s creepy as hell.”
“Your mom?” Lainey cocked an eyebrow. “She worked there?”
“Yeah.” He sipped more latte. “The place was a hellhole. Worst institute I’ve ever seen.” He flushed. “Not that I was in there, but I did visit her from time to time at work.” He defended himself, maybe momentarily forgetting I had just been there. “I’m from Ellisville. That’s where I’m spending my Christmas. Lucky me.”
Normally, I wouldn't have given a rat’s ass about his Christmas but the whole thing was too coincidental. “Can you do us a favor?”
Lainey shook her head, begging me not to do it.
But I did. “Can you ask her about Lucinda Wentworth?”
His face didn't change. The name didn't affect him in any way. “Sure. A friend of yours?”
“No. But it would be the coolest thing you could ever do. And don't tell anyone we asked.”
He paused, considering it. “Okay. Is this something I shouldn't be doing? Are you pranking me?”
“No.” I scoffed. “We don't prank people, Mr. Boswell. I’m sort of sensitive about the whole subject.”
“Right.” His cheeks flushed again. “Of course. Right. I’ll ask her and it’ll be our little secret.” He walked out the door, waving. “See you in class.”
As the door closed Lainey spun. “Are you insane?”
“Probably.” I grabbed her hand and headed for the car. “He’s rude, huh? Like no manners. Just ask anything.”
“Just like someone else I know.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes and followed him out.
When we got out into the freezing December air, I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself. Linds gave me a look. I could see whatever Finn had told her, made her sorry for me but she hid it. “Was that Mr. Boswell?”
“Yeah. He apparently also likes the crack Shack.” I sauntered to the limo and climbed in as the driver got the door. I didn't want to hear whatever she had to say so I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes.
Chapter Twenty-One
The Strangers
Sitting back in the chair as my feet and hands were rubbed with sweet smelling oils was better than morbid poetry and depressing alone time.
Listening to Sage natter on was not.
“And then I think we should all do the Christmas tree lighting, to get in the spirit. None of us seems very Christmassy this year. And, Lain, you are usually the big Christmas nerd, making us watch old classic movies that aren’t really relevant anymore. So tomorrow night you should do a movie night at your house.” She stopped for a breath.
“It’s a school night tomorrow.” Lainey scowled.
“And we aren’t eleven anymore. Who cares?” Sage barked.
“Fine. We can do a movie night at my house,” Lain conceded, as usual.
“Two sleepovers in a row? You don't think we might end up fighting?” Linds cautioned.
“Of course we’re going to fight. It’s
what we do. But none of us is going off the beaten path alone for the next couple of weeks. We aren’t making it easy anymore. No more one person walking off into the dark corridor while everyone else is scattered.” Sage laughed like she didn't mean the entire speech as a dig at me and leaned back into the chair to relax, and hopefully shut the hell up.
“Where should we eat dinner?” Rita asked as she stretched out in her pedi chair.
“Let’s do Rao’s. I’m in the mood for pasta,” Linds spoke with her eyes closed.
“It’s all the way to East Harlem,” Sage moaned. Rita gave a look like she might also want to whine about it.
“Oh, so what? Where else do we have to be tonight?” Linds scoffed.
“Rao’s isn’t open Saturdays,” I reminded them.
“The chef from Scarpetta is a friend. I could have him come to the house and make us dinner.”
“That is a good idea. I hate eating out when we have an entourage anyway.” Sage rolled her eyes. “It just draws attention.” She said it but I knew she didn't mean it. She loved the attention.
“I don't know. Some of the bodyguards are kinda hot.” I gave a smug grin trying to change the subject.
Not one of them laughed. They saw right through me.
“Tough crowd.” I sat back and tried to relax again.
I hated to admit it but being at the spa was better than moping around in my room. I took several deep breaths and allowed myself to enjoy it all.
When we finished at the salon, Sage had a dresser bring clothes for us to wear out shopping.
The smell of Fifth Avenue made me happy.
Heels clicking on the cement and people talking all around us, mixed with the bustle of the city. It was like therapy, without the gabbing about your emotions and sounding like an idiot.
“Lain told me everything Boswell said.” Linds slid up next to me as I contemplated a dress in Bergdorf’s.
“I know. I heard her talking in the car.” I nodded, rubbing the fabric. “Do you think this feels like suit liner? It’s weird. It says satin but it feels cheap.”
“Finn didn't do the things you think.”
I sighed and gave her a look. “Just touch the dress and tell me it’s cheap and then we can walk and I’ll check out hot guys,” I pleaded.
“No.” Linds shook her head. Her dark eyes bore into mine. “He loves you. He honestly didn't know what Hailey was doing. Your dad had to get him to come back to New York for this. He was in Washington for a couple weeks of work and your dad forced him to put the other job on hold and come here to help find you. He found you. He freed you, but he didn't want you to see his face when he opened the cell. He worried you might think he was involved since he and Hailey knew each other. So he hid and told the nurses and doctors he’d found you. The only thing he lied about was how you got out and knowing Hailey. He buried her records from Engelmann so we wouldn't find her link to the orphanage. That would have led me to him. He grew up there; obviously, we would have asked him about her. And of course you would have assumed he was part of her plan. Too many coincidences.”
“You honestly believe that? You, of all the skeptics in the world, believe that?”
“I believe him.”
I forced a lip tremble and my eyes to fill with water, something they’d wanted to do all day. “I just wanted so badly to be in love with someone. He isn’t what you think, Linds.”
“You’re so wrong. You just need to start believing you deserve happiness.”
“I loved him so much I didn't even care if he was in love with you.”
Her eyes widened. “What?” She was obviously shocked.
“Yeah.” I sniffled. “He’s dating me to be near you. He’s hoping you and Vince break up. He thought I might have the same agenda.”
She stepped back. “No. Dude. Did he say that?”
“I heard him talking on the phone with someone and when I confronted him he told me I could have Vince if you guys broke up. I told him you never would.”
“Oh my God. Sierra. I’m so sorry. I wouldn't have talked to him had I known.” Her face turned pink. “You must have heard wrong. How could he even have known me? This is nuts. I don't know what to say.”
I turned it off as fast as I had turned it on. “Say you’re gullible and not good at telling when people are lying.” I wiped my eyes and continued walking along the wall, checking out the dresses. “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever forced myself to say and you still bought it.”
“Ass!” She shoved me.
“You’re an ass.” I shoved her back but she wasn't playing.
“That was mean. Sometimes you’re the biggest bitch.”
“No kidding.” I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
“You know what your problem is?”
I flashed my gaze back at her. “You!”
“Me?”
“You! You and Vincent. He could have fallen for me, if you hadn’t thrown yourself at him. You think I wanted some loser like Finn? No. I’m Sierra Casey. I should be with someone like Vincent.” I said the meanest thing I could think of so she would leave me alone but regretted it when I saw her look.
Her mouth dropped open. “Screw you, Sierra. You don't deserve a nice guy like Finn.” She shook her head and walked off, leaving me alone with the dresses and a thousand bad feelings.
I didn't go find them or the bodyguards who had been waiting downstairs for me. Every inch of me hurt in ways I didn't know how to fix.
I was spiraling out of control.
Without thinking, I left through the back door and hurried along West Fifty-Eighth to the crosswalk to Grand Army Plaza. I cut through the park, walking as quickly as I could to my dad’s apartment building on Fifth Avenue.
The doorman, Harold, gave me a look as I entered. “Miss Casey. We weren’t expecting you.” His eyes suggested otherwise, like he knew something about my abduction. Of course he did. Doormen knew everything.
“I’m in the city for the night. Staying with a friend. I just wanted to grab a couple of things from here.” I waved and walked in, not sure why I’d bothered with the details.
I was losing my edge and my control.
When I got off the elevator the butler smiled. “Miss Sierra, how lovely to see you.” He held a hand out. “Would you like some cocoa?”
His asking that made me smile for real. “No thanks, Mr. Cranmer.” I’d called him that since I was a little girl.
I used to love coming to the city with my nanny.
We’d come home from the zoo or one of the other fun things in the park, and he would make me cocoa and tell me stories of his life back in London. His wife, Charlie, would dote on me. They all did.
“I would love a bath though. Is Charlie here?” I fought my cracking voice.
He smiled. “I’ll have her draw one for you.” He hurried off and I strolled to my bedroom. It was homey. Home away from home. It made me think of my nanny, Sophia. She was French, a true au pair. She was older than my mom and I was the third child in her charge. She came when I was four and stayed until I was fourteen. Ten years of her and me. She did everything I asked. If I wanted a cookie she baked them fresh. If I wanted to go to the park, she came and pushed me on the swings until I didn't want her to anymore. She never got tired of doing the things I wanted to do.
And then one day they decided it was time and she left.
She had another family to go to. I understood and yet I didn't.
My mom wanted us to be closer. She wanted the two of us to be friends. I was fourteen and no longer needy so she wanted me to be her daughter, now that I was clean and easy.
But I missed Sophia.
“Your bath is ready, Miss Sierra.” Charlie popped in the doorway, interrupting my self-realization.
“Thank you.” I turned and smiled at her. She was a welcome face too. An Irish lady my father had hired when I was a baby. She ran the house for us, with Mr. Cranmer. They had fallen in love working here together and married six years ago
. It was weird watching them marry, sort of a Downton Abbey moment.
I realized she seemed older than before, as though she had aged in the months since my last visit.
The gleam in her stare suggested she knew about the horrific weeks I’d spent locked away. She nodded and walked away, leaving me to go to the bath.
I’d loved baths since I was a girl and nothing was better than the bath at our Fifth Avenue apartment. It could fit four people and when I was little I could swim in it.
I stripped down and climbed in, sighing as the hot water made my skin tingle. When I lay all the way back I let my worries sink into the depths of the bath, just like Sophia said they would. I’d never actually had a real worry before this. But now that I had them, I saw the truth in her statement.
She’d been right about everything.
Except the part of my life she told me I would hit and forget all about her.
Screaming interrupted my seconds of peace.
“YOU CAN’T JUST BARGE IN!” Charlie shouted.
I shot up and covered myself in the bubbles as footsteps got closer.
My heart leapt as I realized I had nothing to defend myself with.
I’d left the bodyguards and my friends and all I had now were two old people.
Sage, Rita, Lainey, and Linds stormed into the large bathroom, folding arms and posing like they were pissed.
“You are so predictable,” Sage snapped.
“What?”
“Of course you came home to take a bath.”
“So?” I avoided Lindsey’s eyes and stared at Sage.
“You’re pissed. You’ve been pissed for a long time.” Lindsey’s eyes watered, but it was fury and not sympathy that seeped from them.
“What are you talking about? Just get out of my bathroom.” I pointed but they didn't move.
“You wanted Vincent. You wanted to date him because you thought he was the best and you wanted the best.”
“Can we not do this?” I groaned. “I don't care about Vincent. It was just a mean thing to say so you’d leave me alone.”
“Yes, yes you do. You have liked him since we were little kids. We all make that joke about Vince watching me and Jake watching Lain and me watching that girl in the photos. Well, you were always watching Vincent. You liked him.” Linds glared.
