by Tiana Laveen
…Several weeks later
Carmen lounged in her living room by her man, her feet on his lap. A cozy fire warmed the room. Dressed in her favorite oversized white T-shirt with a drawing of the Egyptian Goddess Isis printed on it, her hair was piled atop her head in twists, with a few cowrie shells for accents. Large wooden earrings hung from her lobes, and she’d washed her makeup off.
She appreciated this time with her man, just chilling, not doing a damn thing but enjoy one another. Tristan was still sitting there smiling. How could he not? She picked up her Victorian style teacup, took a sip of her chamomile tea with a splash of cream, then placed it back down.
“Ever since Darryl called you a while ago, you can’t stop grinning. I love it!” She crossed her ankles and wiggled her toes against his thigh.
“Yes, finally!” He set his cellphone down between them and began to stroke her ankle and foot. “Officer Benson is on administrative unpaid leave pending the investigation. He said the news just broke.”
The man nodded proudly as he now put a bit more pressure and his rubs transformed into an all-out foot massage.
Damn, he’s good with his hands…
She slid lower on the couch, her head now resting on a dark green throw pillow. She slid her hand beneath it, getting nice and comfortable. Tristan’s smile slowly faded, but a trace of it remained as he worked the balls of her feet, rubbed her toes, then got in good on her heels.
“That feels nice.” She smiled at him with half opened eyes, the threat of slumber knocking at her door.
“I know you had a long day.” He kept his eyes on her feet, his hands busy working.
“I did.” She yawned. “But I’m glad to be with you… and thank you for cooking dinner. That fish and rice was delicious.”
“You’re welcome, baby.”
Sadness swam into the room. Such a joyous moment felt suddenly compromised.
“Tristan, I know that this lawsuit is still underway, and Darryl has a lot more to do, but this is good news. Enjoy this moment. Take this one day at a time.”
“It’s not that… I’m happy about what’s happened today and I know in many of these cases the bad cops get off the hook.”
“Even with video footage.” She swallowed down a mouthful of anger as she recalled instances of police brutality over the past few years that had hit the press, and how most of those cases ended where the police officer walked away, scot-free.
“My expectations are still high, but I know what we’re up against. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Yeah, I’m not worried because I know I’ve got the stamina to help Darryl see this through. Benson and the other cops involved have probably done this before. This guy is a loose cannon, believe me. He was crazy… I could see it in his eyes.”
“Oh, I believe you.” She nodded in disgust.
“But yeah, that’s not what has me thinking right now, got my brain going around in circles. It’s just, well, I’ve been thinking about things, the old days.” He shot her a glance, his smile a bit more pronounced once again.
“Memories, huh? You like reliving your best times in life. I’ve learned that about you. Reminiscing… it’s nice, important. It’s a roadmap telling you where you’ve been and how you became who you are today.”
“Yeah.” His hands moved over her feet, gentle, then with more pressure. He stared down at her legs, then bent low and gently kissed her ankle.
“I want to tell you something…”
“Go ahead.”
He was quiet for several minutes, as if gathering his thoughts.
“Darryl and I go way back, you know that. We’ve got a lot of history together. I can say, with a straight face, that I’ve never had anyone go to bat for me like he has. Not even my family members. He and I were just really cool; we understood one another, we meshed well. When he was having a problem, he’d shoot it past me. When I was having a problem, he’d have to work it out of me.”
He laughed, a sound filled with sorrow.
“Don’t stop. Keep talking to me, baby. It’s cathartic. Confess. Tell me all about it.”
He hesitated for the briefest of moments before he continued.
“Darryl and a bunch of us hung out with each other all the time in college, just like I told you. We were real close. Well uh, one time, I had a joint in a dorm room. The girl I was seeing had a bong and a bowl, too. I was in the room with her, just chillin’, really. Long story short, someone must’ve smelled it, or I don’t know…” He shrugged. “To this day, I’m not certain what happened, how they got tipped off, but all of a sudden, the R.A. came knocking on the door, wanting to come in. I freaked out.”
“I imagine so… It’s not unheard of to get kicked out of college for smoking marijuana. I mean, it may not happen often, and honestly, it shouldn’t. It’s not like you were selling it on school grounds, but the consequences really depend on the specific school code and the policies.”
“Right, and I wasn’t a big time weed smoker, which makes it all the more pathetic.” He chuckled dismally. “In fact, that was probably only like my third or fourth time ever. I don’t even know why I was doing it, Carmen… maybe because that particular semester I was really stressed out with classes. Anyway, the girl I was with freaked out, too. She’d been a little high even before I got over there. So, after the abrupt knock at the door, we sprang up. We’d been fooling around a little too so we got dressed again, hid the lighter, things like that.” He grew quiet for a spell. “Sorry, lost my train of thought. I don’t really do things like that… share stuff like this.”
“I know, and that’s what makes it so special. Go on.”
“As I was throwin’ shit away, I told her to hide the rolling papers. Then we tossed the joints in the toilet and flushed after saying ‘Hold on!’ a million times. The Resident Assistant had called campus police, too. It was crazy… ridiculous. So, they did a search of the dorm room and though we got rid of the joints and hid a bunch of other shit pretty well, she forgot to put the rolling papers away and they saw a bit of green matter, as they called it, on her desk. We were screwed.”
“Oh shit…”
“Exactly. By some miracle, Darryl and a couple of our mutual friends showed up. He was dating one of her friends at the time and I told him I would be over there, and that he should stop through since we were all supposed to be going out to a party. I didn’t think he would… but he did. When he got up there, he could see and hear what was going on. Hell, by then, everyone was eavesdropping. I was in complete panic mode. He knew the type of family I came from. My parents would have tried to kill me, Carmen.”
He rested his hands on her legs and shook his head. “I was like the ideal kid for them. I made good grades. I didn’t cause them too many problems. I was athletic, in a fraternity, worked a part time job even with my busy schedule in college, had a bunch of friends, wasn’t out getting drunk every weekend, volunteered sometimes at homeless shelters, hadn’t gotten anyone pregnant… all the shit parents hope and pray their kids do and don’t do, basically.”
“Were you living a lie?”
He paused and looked at her, then smirked.
“I don’t believe so, but everyone has their secrets. Anyway, the act itself of me smoking weed was not a huge issue—at least, not to me—but like I said… they would have been so damn disappointed in me and if the school would’ve tried to make an example out of me, it would’ve been over.”
He swiped his hand across his forehead and stopped talking, as if checking out of the conversation.
Oh no, buddy… you don’t get off that easily.
“What happened next?”
“Darryl took the blame…” His face was a mask of melancholy, of memories hoarded, of weathered collections that had tattooed themselves on his very heart and soul. “He said they were his papers and he’d left ’em over there by mistake. Like I said, we were all friends so his story wasn’t implausible. He’d probably been in that dorm building once every week for one
reason or another.”
“Did they believe him?”
“Yup. He was slapped with a warning and that’s it, thankfully, but the guilt from that incident ate me up so bad. He kept telling me to not worry about it, but how could I not?” He shrugged. “That was a strike on his college record. After a few weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore and I confessed to the dean that it was me.”
She couldn’t help but smile at the man… so very, very proud of the prize she had before her.
“That took a lot of courage.”
“It was just the right thing to do, and yeah, my parents found out, and yeah, they were mad as hell but you know what? At that moment, nothing was more upsetting to me than losing a friend. No, I hadn’t lost him, but I let him take the rap for some shit he hadn’t done—that’s almost worse. That’s some cowardly shit, and it’s not me. I couldn’t have any respect for myself if I hadn’t made that right, Carmen. That’s why, you know… I mean shit, we all mess up. But you have to have some moral guidelines, lines you won’t cross… you have to try and do better, especially if someone you care about is involved.”
“How did you feel about Darryl taking the blame after you were cleared of wrongdoing by the staff and the law?”
“I had a bunch of mixed emotions at first, even made excuses as to why I should just take it to my grave, but it was all bullshit and I knew it. It was time to do the right thing. I could tell you more stuff, too, about times when he and I both had each other’s back, but he always came through for me, Carmen… always. And that’s just one of many reasons why I can’t let this shit with Officer Benson go. Darryl might as well be a blood brother to me and to see him like I did in that police station… I’ll never forget it.” He dropped his head and shook it. “I almost didn’t recognize him.”
Carmen sat up, scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she smiled at him until he finally smiled back.
“What?”
“I think you’re a rare breed. I think your emotional car runs on the fuel of planning and executing just so you can cope. You hate dwelling on some things. This seems like a waste of time to you. But you’re learning that being still and silent are not lazy responses; they mean deep reflection and possible meditation to fight your way through the storm. It doesn’t matter what obstacles get in your way—you’re hellbent on seeing things through. That’s sexy. It’s admirable… it’s you.”
She kissed his cheek and squeezed him.
“I’m glad you feel that way, I really am, because I know you said you were tired, but that means I might get a little ass tonight after all.”
At this, she cracked up laughing.
“You have a one-track mind!” She cackled.
“No, but seriously.” He looked deeply into her eyes. “I’m a creature of habit, Carmen.”
“I know.”
“But life, Darryl, and you have taught me that anything worth having sometimes requires you to step out of your routine, and it definitely includes struggle. In fact, everything I appreciate in my life I had to fight for. I had been called a nigger lover for hanging out with Black guys in school… got into a physical altercation about it, too. Darryl knows nothin’ about this. I had shrugged it off as an isolated incident.”
She shook her head at his words.
“You and I had to really get to know each other to see that we actually had some things in common. You aren’t just some pretty, new-age doctor that was concerned about women’s rights and healthcare in this country, and I’m not simply some highly acclaimed land architect. We were going in the same direction, just taking a different route.”
That had to be the perfect description of them.
“And we learn lessons along the way, all of us. I’m never going to stop bein’ me. I am okay with who I am.” He pointed to himself. “I could use some improvement, I know this, but I also know my worth and what I’ll tolerate. The thing is, being comfortable sometimes can be stagnating.”
“Yeah, because being comfortable sometimes means you’re not too keen on growing or changing—there’s no motivation. People move and squirm when they’re searching for more and willing to put in the work to achieve it, cast aside their fears. Sometimes people are satisfied just sitting there in unhappy situations, even if it is with someone we hate. It’s because despite our feelings, we know them. They’re familiar and that is encouraging to us. It’s hard to start over.”
“Definitely. And I’m loyal to a fault. I’ve stayed in some situations far too long because of that, Carmen. But something was going on with me. I wanted something new in life, but I wasn’t willing to give up anything for it. That’s not how things work, though. I realized, after everything that’s gone down, meeting you and just my life these past few months, that if I want something new, like a relationship that would lead to marriage, and more contracts, too, then I’d have to see what I was doing to stand in my own way. That’s when the mental purge began. Old, hoarded ideas jammed in my brain, memories I’ve sugarcoated and whitewashed, and incidents of the past that I didn’t want to really deal with. See, I love financial security, so I like to save and hold on to my funds when possible. I didn’t want to pay what I thought would be an outrageous price to get the things I wanted out of life… It’s amazing when you understand how the actual value in question isn’t settled by money or commerce exchanging hands. It’s taken care of when you realize that your new life that you’ve been prayin’ for is going to cost you your old one… and you have to pay in full…”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Makin’ Money Moves…
…two weeks later
On Thursday evenings at 7:15 P.M., Fitness Gym on Woodbury Drive was packed. Tristan stood at the front area, tapping the reception desk with his fingertips as he waited for a personal trainer by the name of Tony Anderson to come meet with him.
After Tristan spent a few minutes of observing people pounding the hell out of treadmills, lifting weights, and giving the elliptical machines what for, a dark complexioned African American man, about 5’8 tall, muscular as hell, bowlegged, and with a clean-shaven face approached him. Tristan smiled at the guy and extended his hand for a shake.
“Hi Tony, I’m Tristan. We spoke on the phone last night.”
The guy swung a white towel over his left shoulder before accepting the hand shake.
“Yeah.” The guy sized him up. “I almost changed my mind.”
His dark eyes sheened as he smiled… but Tristan knew the man wasn’t joking. Still, he was glad Anderson showed up.
“I understand, but I had to try. Your comment…”
Anderson nodded. Tristan was referring to a comment from the man on the YouTube video he’d posted of the son of a bitch who’d beat up Darryl. The guy had written: ‘This is the same fucked up motherfucker that grabbed me outta my car, pushed me to the ground, then stomped me in my stomach. He told me there was a warrant for my arrest and that wasn’t true… it was some other guy who did. Then he accused me having a fake I.D. Racist pig! Fuck the police!’
“You can come back if you want. I just finished up with a client.”
Tristan followed the fellow. As they passed, the grunts of the customers struggling with the machines and the weights blended in with the upbeat rock music.
I need to get back into the gym myself. I let my membership expire a few months ago and haven’t been since. Not only that, I’ve been enjoying far too much Italian food lately… I keep wining and dining my baby. If I’m not careful, I’ll lose the abs I worked so hard to get. I’ll ask him about some personal training later…
Moments later, they were in a small office. Papers lay sprawled all over a desk. It reminded him of his old coach’s office when he was in high school.
“Go on and sit down.” The guy pointed to a fold out chair.
“Thanks.” Tristan plopped down into it. “Sky Walker” by Miguel played on the radio on low, and the lyrics went ‘Quick to dead a bull like
a Matador…’
“So, as you know I saw your post on my YouTube before I turned off all comments on it, and I private messaged you. Thanks for responding. Look.” Tristan sighed and threw up his hands. “I knew this bastard had done this to someone else, and I doubt Darryl and you are the only ones. There’s power in numbers. I mean that from a monetary standpoint, too. People are afraid to step forward because he goes after Black people, particularly Black men it appears, and my guess is that some may actually have a record, so it leaves them even more afraid to out this guy.”
The man nodded in agreement but didn’t say a word.
“So, as I told you, I would have you meet with the attorney who is already addressing Darryl’s case. I will take care of the expenses. I did obtain a copy of the ticket you were given on the night of your arrest since it’s public record. All bullshit, just like Darryl. He yelled the same crap,” he said, “such as not using a turn signal and some other erroneous allegations.”
“I’m not going to lie to you.” The man clasped his hands together, his body language stiff, as if at any minute he’d have to get up and flee. “I don’t want to be involved in this like that. I mean, on YouTube I saw the video, you know, and it triggered me, I guess you could say. It brought back some bad memories and I got emotional. I ended up losing my job at that time because I became too sick to go in. This happened a few years ago.” He paused, seeming deep in thought for a moment. “It was a shitty job, but it made ends meet while I got through acquiring my certification for personal training. I coulda killed him…” An ungodly darkness suddenly filled the man’s eyes. “I would’ve loved to. I was way stronger than him but I knew if I hit him I’d be doin’ a life sentence, no questions asked.”
“Sadly, you’re probably right. I want you to call the attorney tonight, let her know we met and she’ll take it from there. Also, keep this to yourself. Don’t tell anyone what you’re doing. We don’t want private information to get to the wrong people.”
