by Tiana Laveen
“When I was comin’ up,” Her father paused and coughed roughly into a white handkerchief. “A man knew the lady’s family he was seeing way in advance. We’d court a woman, know her family, the aunts, uncles, even the neighbor next door. Now people are meetin’ on the web, things like that… before the family knows it, the kids are hitched. Tradition out the window. I guess I’m a bit old fashioned.” He chuckled. Tristan offered a smile, though he wasn’t certain where this conversation was leading.
“Believe it or not, Mr. Kinley, I’m old fashioned, too. I did in fact court your daughter. It was her choice, not mine, to not meet you right away. She wasn’t quite certain about me.” He chuckled, the memories racing to him of their very first argument.
“I believe that. Carmen has some strange ways.” The older man smiled and slowly shook his head as he laid the handkerchief down with a shaky hand. “I guess you young people though, well, you do things different.” The older man stretched out his jean clad leg and ran his hand over his thigh, as if trying to sooth a kinked muscle. “You’re up early like me…”
“Yes Sir.” Tristan nodded. “I like to get up early. I’m more productive that way.”
“Keepin’ busy and movin’ is important. I can get lazy if my wife didn’t stay on me sometimes. I’m an early riser… always have been since I was a little boy. I got up early today because the cows needed fed and my daughter was getting wed.” He chuckled. Tristan grinned wide at that… a nice little rhyme. “I get up early because I don’t want the world to pass me by, Tristan. I don’t want to miss a thing.”
“I like to sit back and observe, too.” Mr. Kinley nodded.
“My wife said to me the other day,” The older man leaned forward and clasped his hands. “She say, ‘Daniel, that boy is like you.’ I say to her, ‘How can that be? That boy White.’ She say to me, ‘Well you’re messin’ with milk all day and come in here with it all over the place, so you’re White now too.’” At this, Tristan burst out laughing so loud the staff paused and peeked in his direction. “I say to her, ‘How are we alike?’ and she say to me, ‘It would take too long to list it. It’s everything. That’s why she loves that boy… ’cause she loves you.’” Tristan’s smile slowly faded and he fell deep into the conversation. “When you get up real early, Tristan, clock in right after God nudge you on the shoulder, you can see the things that so many people miss. What’s the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning?”
“My phone… to see if your daughter has beat me to sending a ‘good morning’ text. It’s the first thing we do – say hello to one another.” The older man’s lips curled in an appreciative grin.
“That’s a good answer. When I get up, I like to see the sun risin’… all those pretty colors in the sky look like melted rainbow-colored ice-cream spread clear across the atmosphere.” The older man raised his hand in the air as if painting a picture. “Now that’s love right there, God gives us an original painting every day. I’m working the Earth, making special feed for my cows and bulls, growing the plants and taking care of my land, and no matter what, God has made a different painting in the morning for me and you. Like clockwork, He does it. My daughter told me you know how to garden… that you’re good with your hands.” The man immediately looked down at Tristan’s hands, as if he needed to see for himself.
“When you shook my hand, I could feel the cuts, the roughness. Not so rough like a construction worker, but rough enough that let me know you ain’t afraid of a little hard work.” I noticed the same about his hands… “I myself, I stand outside and come rain or shine, I work. My cows over all of these years became more than just work – they relied on me, livin’ and breathin’ vessels of God. My daughter and I had an argument one time.” The older man looked up at the ceiling and smiled. “I told her being a doctor would be hard. Carmen told me so what, that I was always trying to talk her out of something. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. This happened a long time ago but she taught me something that day. She said to me, ‘Dad, you are doing the same thing I want to do. No, you don’t have no fancy degree, but you make medicine from the Earth and feed it to these animals. You get the milk – the life force from the cows, so that children can have their breakfast in the morning and parents can make the pancakes, soups and chowders, things like that.
“She said farmers ain’t nothin’ but doctors of the land and vegetation. I had never thought about it like that.” He looked deeply into Tristan’s eyes and the man’s face suddenly streamed with tears. “That was my last time tryna tell Carmen what career to choose. Me and her mama had done our job – we’d raised her. Now the rest, was up to her. Once the children were grown and gone, I missed ’em. I got closer to my cows then. After a while, I couldn’t even eat beef anymore. It would’ve been like eating one of my children, though I suppose if I was an alligator that would be normal. My wife tells me I am a crocodile, says I’m slow and bulky and think I’m slick.” This time they both chuckled together.
“Never take the mornings for granted, Tristan. That precious time in the morning is when the world wakes up, the plants get ready to get kissed by the sun and the earth is begging for a taste of sweet rain. My daughter is about to be your wife. One thing about her, she is pretty much the same now as she was back when she was a child.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what type of child was she?” Now things are getting good…
“Carmen liked to help a lot. She was already reading stuff and had like a humanitarian heart I guess you could say. She wanted justice for all. She was uh, what’s the word, fearless I guess you could say but sensitive too. She was an interesting child, knew what she wanted early on. Then she got into politics and got funny about religion and was going to marches, protests, things like that. She was telling me I didn’t talk to her mama right, getting real upset… said I had chauvinistic ways.” He shrugged dismissively. “I didn’t know what that girl was talkin’ about, still don’t to this day but I suppose she has a right to an opinion. Her mother asked her over and over again when she was going to meet a nice man and settle down and Carmen said never. After a few times of her answering that way, I believed her. So much so, I never thought this day would come. At one point, I thought maybe she was gay since she was always around a bunch of females, but her mama said she wasn’t. Anyway,” the man took a long deep breath and stared off into the distance. “She’s happy with you, and that’s all that matters to me. My daughter hasn’t smiled this much in a long time.” At this, Tristan grinned from ear to ear. “Please take good care of ’er.” The man stood from his seat. “Guess I better go and start getting ready.”
“I plan to take very good care of your daughter, Mr. Kinley. You have nothing to worry about. I love Carmen very much, she makes me extremely happy.”
“Good, because even when she tells you she doesn’t need anyone carrying for her, lightening the load, it’s not true. Everybody need somebody, and there isn’t any book, seminar, spell or none of that new age nonsense that she likes to listen to going to change that fact. It was my job to protect her, and that’s what I’d done for as long as she was under my roof. She didn’t always like my methods, but they worked. Now, it’s your turn, even if you have to sneak and do it while ’er back is turned.” Tristan got up from his chair and extended his hand. Instead, her father pushed his arm down, brung him close and patted him on the shoulder, then turned and walked away…
Train sung, “Marry Me” as Tristan stood by the minister who held a black leather-bound bible in both hands. He was surrounded by his friends and family with Darryl at his side. When he looked out into the crowd of over 400 people, he saw his parents, sister, many cousins, aunts, uncles, collegemates and so many more. The room appeared to be split in half… mostly Black people on one side, mostly White people on the other. He looked at the crowd for quite some time, happy that he and Carmen were helped in their own little way, to make this sort of separation a thing of the past. He nervously moved his leg back and forth as the
gathering got to their feet. His mind was abuzz, feelings of slight nausea and excitement merged within.
Mr. Kinley appeared at the back doors. A broad, proud smile on his face, the man was dressed in a black tuxedo and wine-colored tie, his sparse wavy silver hair brushed back away from his broad forehead and his arm looped around the most the most beautiful woman in the world. The man looked proud and dignified as he walked his daughter down the aisle, bringing him a gift that could not be compensated for in even four or five lifetimes. Tristan blinked away tears when he took a look at her as she drew closer.
Wearing a white understated yet elegant gown with a long train, she blew him away. Her hair was pulled taut in a smooth bun and adorned with a jeweled tiara. He didn’t expect her to be dressed rather traditionally, he was in fact surprised, but then, he saw it… not only did she have a larger diamond stud in her nose, there was a new septum piercing, too, the ones he teased and said made women look like bulls. A shiny chain hang from the piercing and attached to her ear… as usual, Carmen was somehow able to pull this look off, she was stunning. He stifled a bit of a laugh at thinking this woman was going to follow custom…
I should’ve known better. How silly. Of course, she’d put her own spin on this…
And he loved her all the more for it.
When she got down the aisle, she leaned in to Patrice and hugged her. Patrice’s bald head was adorned with jewels. The two stood there in a tender embrace for a spell before she turned away and took his hands. The vows they’d rehearsed went smoothly, and he expected to soon kiss her, be officially wedded, enjoy their reception then head off to their honeymoon in Loire Valley, France. Instead, sweet music began to play. Carmen turned towards him and began to speak.
“I knew I was wrong about you, Tristan, when we argued in the museum during our first date…” She took a deep breath then continued. “You’re a strong man, you don’t back down, but you also care. I knew I was in love with you sometime between the moon and the stars.” He smiled at her words. “You planted seeds of inspiration in my garden… the one that I told you was open, but I’d made it somehow off limits, made you race through a maze of mixed messages. How unfair.” She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. “My love for you scared me, and I battled inside of myself, Tristan.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
“What I take from you, is the release of fear. I take from you, the ability to keep moving, even during paralyzing times. You’ve taught me through your stubbornness, that some things, no matter how hard, you better not budge from – stand your ground like a bull with his head held high, hooves planted firmly against the Earth. You’ve taught me, through your newfound ability to let go and release, that all God’s children can change, me included.” She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “And I don’t have to apologize for having a change of heart. I can still stand by my beliefs, and love a man like you strongly, deep within my core. You changed me… you challenged me – made it difficult for me to not follow you. You earned the right to teach me, to lead me, and when I let go of the struggle, my life improved for the better. Thank you for that lesson.” Tristan could hear their friends and family whispering, people crying too but all he could focus on was her. Swiping his knuckle against his eye, he took her hands in his.
“We agreed that we were going to just do traditional vows.” A few people giggled at this. “You know I don’t like surprises,” he smiled. “Now I’m on the spot, but that’s okay. I can think on my feet. I can’t just let you say those things and not respond.” Taking a deep breath, he began.
“You taught me that sometimes, being a creature of habit could be detrimental. Carmen, you taught me that showing a bit more consideration can go a long way and that I shouldn’t always have to be in someone’s shoes, to empathize with their pain, to do the right thing.” He looked over his shoulder at Darryl, then back into her eyes. “You taught me that it’s okay to feel vulnerable and tired, it’s alright to admit things aren’t going as planned. I have someone now who loves me unconditionally, someone who knows my faults, and loves me despite it all. You uplift me, Carmen, when I’m down and everything you’d said you do, you’ve done and then some.
“For that, I can’t help but be madly in love with you. When I met you, I knew I’d seen you somewhere before.” The woman cocked her head to the side, looking a bit surprised. “Not with my eyes, but my soul. I recognized you on a deeper level. That’s why I pursued you the way I did, that’s why no matter how I tried to focus at work, I couldn’t get you off my mind. So, as we stand here in front of all of our family and friends, we need to let them know that this is forever. You and I have been through more together than many couples have within a decade of marriage. Corruption, deception, broken relationships with family and friends, illness of loved ones and more. It made us stronger. I want you to know, Carmen, that if I only loved you with my heart, then my love would fade because we’re all human and the heart eventually will stop beating. One day, it’ll be the last day, that we wake up early, send, ‘Good morning’ texts, and see the sun.” He looked out at his father in law, and the man gave him a salute.
“So, loving you with only my heart isn’t failproof. I can’t love you with only my eyes, either… because physical appearances change over time and my sight will diminish as I age, so that’s unreliable, too. I can’t love you with only my mind because the mind plays tricks on us. We misinterpret things, we forget things, too. But I can love you with my soul forever, Carmen. In this lifetime, and beyond. My soul will always know you – even when my body is long gone, for it led me to you. I’m not the kind of guy that is all mushy, I show how I feel through my works. I built for you, created for you, worked for you. I turned over soil for you, I cultivated for you, I charged head on, full speed ahead for you. I cried for you, I became vulnerable for you because you taught me how to be a better man.
“Being bullheaded only works in the boardroom… being open to love and all that it entails, is the true test of courage and strength. Fear of change feeds unfettered stubbornness. How can I love fully, if I’m always afraid to let go and try something new?” He dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her lower body. He shivered as the emotions surrounded him, taking him under. “I surrender to you, Carmen… because you surrendered to me.” He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face. He was ashamed, but he couldn’t help it, and in that instant, he heard so much weeping from the crowd, it moved him in a new and special way.
Moments later he was back on his feet, the woman dabbing at his eyes, and her’s too. They exchanged rings and were soon pronounced, husband and wife. His beautiful bride turned to him as the crowd applauded, leaping to their feet and whistling. Carmen leaned in close, grabbed his hand, gave a gentle squeeze and whispered,
“You’re my personal bucking bull… You’re larger than life. My world was the China Shop, I wanted nothing disturbed: my views not challenged, my heart sitting pretty – but empty. You came in and wrecked shop but then, deep inside of me, you made something new… you built something beautiful within me, you are the architect of my desires – for they reflected your image all along. I had no choice but to submit to you, baby… to lay my red flag down, and finally surrender…”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
How to Tame a Bull…
…Two years later
The bed was covered with red and white rose petals. It was Carmen’s birthday, after all.
Tristan had taken the entire day off from work to surprise her on her special day. Once he was satisfied with the layout and look of things, he made his way to the kitchen they now shared and removed the bottle of Chateau Julian French Kiss from the refrigerator, along with two wine glasses from the cabinet. Carmen preferred this particular wine at a cooler temperature; he’d made a note of it.
The speaker buzzed, letting him know that someone was pulling up into the driveway. After checking the camera, he stood by and watched his wife get out of the car, her arms full with h
er laptop and other odds and ends from work. He frantically looked around the house, almost forgetting that her present had been stored away, hidden from her prying eyes. Carmen had proven to be a spoiler. He’d heard stories that she’d search for hidden Christmas gifts in the past, and she still did—things he expected a child to do – but he hated to admit he found it rather comical. This time, however, he’d stored the gift in a place he knew she’d never look: his gym bag.
Snatching the bag from the back of a low cabinet filled with oversized bowls, he raced to the bedroom with it and the wine and glasses in tow. Then, he placed the shiny gold-wrapped package inside their large walk-in closet. After setting the bottle and glasses down just so, he waited, anticipating the look in her eyes before she arrived.
Soon, he heard another buzz, then high-heeled footsteps coming his way.
“Tristan, I’m home! Where are you? You’re here early. I saw your car parked out front.”
“Mmm hmmm.” He stood by the bed in his black robe, stifling laughter. “I’m in the bedroom… wasn’t feeling too well.”
“Awww!” He listened as his wife opened a hall closet door, hung up her coat, then approached, the clicking of her shoes a bit faster now. “What’s wrong? Did you eat that potato salad at the deli I told you to not get any more of?” she said. “They never have it at the right temperature. The health department should be called but there you go, with your iron stomach thinking it would never catch up with you. You’re going to get food poisoning. Now I’ll have to nurse you back to health, I suppose.”
