He gives me another ornery smile. “I asked why you didn’t bring your hot chick?” Kole looks away with a smile of her own.
Connor may have seen pictures of me online, but he’s never actually seen me with a woman until Rachel. “She’s at home.”
“Oh, did she not want to come?” I look over at Kole who jumps in to save me.
“Sweetie he’s not to that point yet. They’re still getting to know each other before they start involving the rest of their families.”
After hearing my sister’s comment, I feel a light go off. I was ready to take things further with Rachel the second I heard her voice on the phone but she wasn’t. She told me she needed slow, but I was only pretending. I’ve been going at full speed this whole time, including wanting to shove Max to the side while I make a permanent place for myself.
If Max does want Rachel in a romantic way—and I don’t believe he does—then I played right into his hands. If this was his way of testing me, then I failed miserably.
“Well, I hope I get to see her again. She seemed nice.”
“She is nice, bud. She’s great.” And I might have screwed things up before they really had a chance to become amazing.
* * * *
RACHEL
“I’m sorry,” Max mumbles. “Not really, but kind of.”
I look over at Max and shake my head. “Better you know now than later. I know we aren’t going to be neighbors forever, but if he can’t handle our relationship, then it’s best you find out now.”
I agree with him, but at the same time, I find myself wondering if Max and I are doing more harm than good with our current arrangement. “Do you think it’s healthy being this good of friends with your ex?”
Max rolls his eyes. “We met each other and tried something for less than six weeks. If we didn’t have Alana, neither one of us would count the other as an ex. I’m just thankful I didn’t knock up a crazy chick,” he adds with a chuckle.
“Mommy, look how high I can go.” We both turn our heads to see Alana swinging higher than she ever has before.
“Be careful.”
I look around the park that Max and I brought our daughter to and everyone either appears blissfully happy or not here with someone of the opposite sex. “I think we’re sabotaging our relationships with others due to this arrangement.”
Max lets out a long sigh and runs his hands through his wavy blond hair. “Look at me.” I slightly turn and bring my eyes to his. “Would my love life be easier if I didn’t live next door to you? Probably so. But I’m willing to make my life hell if it means we can provide a calm, stable life for our daughter. One day we’re going to meet a person we want to spend our life with, and I know that will change what we have now. It may mean we’re not neighbors anymore, but I’m Alana’s dad and your Alana’s mom, and that’s never going to change. Hating each other isn’t going to make our lives better.”
“I don’t want to hate you,” I clarify.
“Then don’t. We get along, we make each other laugh, but, Rach, where you’re concerned, that ship has sailed. I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
Max reaches out and grabs my hand. “I’m okay with us moving forward, no matter what that brings to our lives, but I won’t allow you or anyone else to come between the family we’ve built.”
Max’s dad died years before I met him, and his mom is a wealthy woman who’s never made any time for Max, her only child. Outside of a handful of his friends, we’re the only family he has.
“You don’t need to worry about that. I promise. No matter what life throws at us, I’ll always be a part of your life.”
“I’m hungry.” We both turn to see our daughter who appears to have had her fill of the park.
“Then let’s go get you something to eat, princess.” Max grabs Alana’s hand, and the two of them start walking ahead of me. I’m not sure if I’ll ever find a man who’s willing to deal with this arrangement, but I know I was hoping that Jet would finally be the one to prove me wrong.
* * * *
JET
I left Boston first thing Saturday morning. I know the more time I allow to pass, the bigger risk I’m taking in fixing the mess I made. Right or wrong, I wanted to kill my brother-in-law for not being a part of Connor’s life until only a few years ago, and now I’m faced with the exact opposite.
After what seems like forever, I make my way to Rachel’s apartment door and knock. Seconds later, Max opens his door. “She’s not home.” I turn to find Max watching me from his doorway.
“Oh. I was—”
He cuts me off before I can finish my statement. “Come in. You can wait for her here.” Before I can say anything else, Max steps back inside, leaving his door wide open. Seeing Max before Rachel was not my plan. Hell, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to see Max at all, but maybe this will help prove to Rachel that I’m willing to get over my issues where this man is concerned.
“You want a beer?” he asks, walking toward his fridge.
“Sure,” he grabs one and hands it to me then walks over and sits down on his couch.
“Sit down, relax. Rach had an appointment today, but she just sent me a text a few minutes ago saying she was packing up and heading home.”
I called Rachel today as I was leaving Boston but she didn’t answer my call, and Max just blew my theory out of the water that her phone was broken.
“I don’t love her,” Max says, catching me off guard not only with his words but the serious tone he used. “I love her, but there’s a difference.” Max clears his throat like he’s uncomfortable, but either way, he continues.
“I love how our daughter can run back and forth between her two homes. I love how Rachel and I have never once gone to court to make a visitation schedule. I love how I get to talk to her about anything, and yes, that includes when I’m talking about a woman I’m seeing.” Max pauses to take a deep breath.
“Dude, I get what this looks like to you, but it’s not. I love Rachel, and there’s nothing, and I do mean nothing I wouldn’t do for her, but I’m only a threat to you if you make me one.”
His words pierce the remaining shield I kept in place. Rachel said practically the same thing, but hearing it from Max sounds a thousand times better. Knowing he’s not pining away for her, looking for his way in soothes the ache I’ve felt since the night I watched them fixing dinner together.
“Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to tell me this. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I get it, and honestly, I would probably feel the same way if I were in your shoes. But, man, the only thing I have over you is Alana. I’ve never had a piece of her heart, not the way you have, and believe me I know all about her falling in love with you.”
Another weight feels like it has lifted from my shoulders. “She proudly displayed a picture of you two. Some picture she took herself of you two kissing at some mountain or something...heck, I don’t know, but she kept it on her nightstand for years.”
Solstice Canyon. Fuck, I forgot all about that. Not about taking her there, but about her taking a picture of us. Rachel was always taking pictures, which made it easy to forget when she might have snapped a good one of us. “She finally put the picture up when Alana got old enough to ask about it.”
Rachel moved from California to Florida to New York, but she took a picture of me—of us with her? And not only that, but Max has known about me—about us the entire time?
“Daddy, can I get up now?” we hear Alana yell from the other room. Max smiles at me before hopping up and walking out of the room where I hear him talking in a hushed voice.
Seconds later, Alana comes running out into the living room. “Jet!” She says my name as she runs into my arms. “I didn’t know you were coming. Mommy didn’t tell me.” I can hear the excitement in her voice.
“That’s because it was a surprise.”
Her eyes light up. “I love surprises.” Shit, I think I just fell in love for the second time.
Alana’s beautiful smile turns to a frown. “But I want to play with Jet.” Yep, that seals the deal. I officially love this little girl. She said my name. Not her mother, who she loves dearly and who’s been gone. She wants to spend time with me, a guy she barely knows.
“Alana,” Max says in a stern tone. Before anything else could be said, his door opens and in walks Rachel.
She must have stopped at her place because her hands are empty. “Hey, sorry, I—” She stops talking the second she sees me sitting here.
“Jet?”
“Jet came looking for you, and I told him he could wait here,” Max explains.
“But I can’t spend any time with him,” Alana pouts, leaving Rachel looking confused.
“Can we talk?” I ask as she pins me with a stare.
“Um, sure.” Her eyes move to Max’s.
“Princess, let’s head to Paul’s and see what he’s doing tonight.”
Alana sighs. “Okay, but Paul isn’t very much fun, Daddy.” Both Max and Rachel smile.
“Call me when you get home. If she’s going to stay here, then I’ll come by and tuck her in.”
“Will do. Now you kids go and have fun,” Max adds with an evil smirk. If I weren’t already convinced, this would have sold me on the fact that I don’t have anything to worry about. If Max wanted Rachel even a fraction of how much I do, then there’s no way he’d leave me this kind of opening.
“Are you coming?” Rachel questions while I’m still standing in Max’s apartment, lost in my own thoughts.
“Yes,” I quickly answer before I follow her across the hall. Rachel strolls in her apartment then walks over to her sofa, sits down, and gives me a blank stare.
“You had to work today?”
Her face gives nothing away. “Why are you here?” Straight to the point. I shouldn’t have expected anything less.
“I wanted to see you. To tell you I’m sorry for the way I left things the other day. I was an ass.”
Her face doesn’t change, but I was able to see the tension release from her shoulders.
“Jet, I’m sure—”
I cut her off before she can shoot me down. “I’ve never met anyone like you, and the idea of sharing you bothers me. I don’t mind sharing you with your daughter and your friends, but I thought I was sharing the part of you that should only be mine with Max, but I know that’s not the case. I’m sorry. I was a jerk the other day.”
“Why do you magically know this now? What’s changed?” Her tone is still firm and not nearly as relaxed as I was hoping for.
“You asked me to go slow, and I said I would, but I didn’t. I want it all. I’m thirty-three, and I want a wife and children. I’ve wanted those things for a while now, but I couldn’t picture the person I’d share my life with until I heard your voice again. From that second on, I’ve wanted something, and I’ve been secretly waiting for you to catch up with me and want this as much as I do.” I stop and take a deep breath before looking into her beautiful blue eyes. “If I had given you slow like you asked, I would’ve had the chance to see for myself that Max is a friend and Alana’s father, but I rushed things and reacted out of jealousy. Please, I’m begging you...give this—us—another chance.”
Her eyes dart back and forth between mine, like she’s searching for an answer. If she tells me no, then it’s quite possible I’ll turn into a stalker who follows her around until she gives us another chance.
“We didn’t know everything about each other when we met. My life...Jet, I need to take things at a pace I’m comfortable with.”
“Okay. I agree.”
“Do you really or are you just saying that?” Damn, she’s more than on to me. “I like you, I want something with you, but we can’t snap our fingers and wake up married. I need time to process the fact that you’re back in my life and then there’s...” She trails off, not finishing her sentence.
“Is there a place for me in your life?” I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until she answered. “Yes.”
Without another word, I close the distance between us and wrap her tight in my arms. “That’s all I need to know. We’ll figure this out, slowly,” I add with a laugh. Rachel looks up at me while her blue eyes finally start to shine again. Right or wrong, this is exactly where I want to be.
RACHEL
JET’S CLAIM TO GO SLOWER has calmed my nerves, at least some. When he left my apartment the night he saw Max and I fixing dinner, I figured any chance I had with him was gone. What I wasn’t expecting was to find myself questioning my arrangement with Max. That was a first. I’ve always told myself if a man can’t accept my life as is, then he’s not the man for me, and I’ll move on. Only I’ve moved on a lot over the last couple of years, but I didn’t want to do that with Jet. I wanted something lasting with him even though I’m worried about what the future holds for us.
Somehow, he came back, and this time I actually believe his claim to take things at a pace I can handle. Now, I have to decide how to explain the rest of my past. The parts I’ve kept from him.
I blow out a breath and shake off my awful thoughts as I step out of my car. Tonight, Jet invited me over to his place to have dinner with him and his friend Eric. I almost declined. He told me he rarely sees Eric. However, his baseball season just ended, and Jet assured me he’d see a lot more of him in the months to come. Still, I feel like an outsider, but I can tell Jet wants me to be here.
I use the code and ride the elevator up to Jet’s floor. I raise my hand to knock when the door opens.
“You made it.” Jet smiles and wraps me up in a hug, followed by a light kiss on the lips as he pulls me inside.
“Eric, you remember Rachel,” Jet adds, causing me to cringe. I’m sure Eric knows what happened between us, and I’m expecting the worst, but instead, he gives me a warm smile.
“It’s great to see you again.” My racing heart starts to slow.
“I hear you have a daughter,” Eric adds, which brings a smile to my face.
“Yes, a very active four-year-old who’s entertaining her father tonight.”
“Next to her mother, she’s the prettiest female you’ll ever meet,” Jet says, causing my heart to speed right back up.
“If she looks anything like you then I’m sure she is.” Eric grins before taking a sip of his beer.
All day I convinced myself I would be on trial tonight for hurting Jet. That’s what good friends do, right?
“What happened to your other friend? I think his name was Matt?” I’m positive he wouldn’t be here welcoming me.
Eric answers before Jet has the chance. “Believe it or not, he’s done really well for himself. He owns an investigation company in LA. His dad was a big shot lawyer and wanted him to go to law school. Therefore, Matt wanted to do anything except be a lawyer, but like it or not, I think solving crimes and helping people seems to be in his blood.”
“That’s good. I’m sure you two are proud of him.” To me, Matt appeared to walk on the edge of right and wrong the couple of times I saw him. I’m glad to hear he’s on the correct side of the law because I’m not sure that’s what I would’ve guessed the last time I saw him.
“Matt still likes to get a little out of hand from time to time. Professionally he’s in a good place, personally...who the hell knows with him,” Jet adds.
“What about you, Eric? Are you married?”
A somber look crosses his face. “No. I’m not married and no girlfriend, either.”
I get the impression that I asked something that upset him, but Jet comes to my rescue. “You two ready to eat?”
“Yep,” Eric quickly says, jumping to his feet and walking to the kitchen.
Jet grabs my hand and squeezes while he starts pulling me toward the kitchen. Eric is already plating food from the large variety Jet has provided then he walks out.
“Did I say s
omething wrong?”
Jet places his hand on my chin while his thumb brushes back and forth over my cheek. “Not at all. He seriously dated my sister a few years ago and hasn’t met anyone since that he’s felt the same way about, but he will.”
“I’m sorry,” I say under my breath.
“Don’t be. That was between Kole and Eric, and anyway, it’s old news. Eric just doesn’t like talking about it. Let’s eat,” he adds before lightly kissing me on the lips.
Luckily for me, the rest of the night goes smooth. Eric and Jet seem to get along great, and if Kole is a sore subject between them, you’d never know it.
“Rachel, do you still have family in California?” Eric asks, causing my muscles to coil with tension. Unfortunately, my brother and father still live in California, or at least last I knew they did. If I answer truthfully, I’m opening a door I’m not ready to open, but if I lie...shit, I can’t do that to Jet again.
“I believe my brother and father still live out west, but I don’t stay in contact with either of them.” My hands start shaking, and my voice was weaker than I intended. The two of them share a look, but thankfully, they let it drop. Eric starts talking about baseball and how long he’ll be in New York and almost an hour later I decide it’s time for me to leave.
“I need to get home,” I say when the two of them pause from talking about some rookie player Eric’s team brought up.
“Already?” Jet instantly challenges.
“I have a shoot in the morning, and I have to get Alana to the sitters beforehand, which is sometimes a chore. Therefore, I want to get home and make sure she’s in bed at a decent hour.”
“Okay, I’ll walk you out.” Jet grabs my hand and literally takes me all the way down to the parking garage. “I can’t believe you own a car and live in New York City,” he laughs.
“I have a lot of equipment to lug around when I’m on a shoot. If it weren't for that, then I wouldn’t.” I pay damn near the same amount each month to park my car as I do on my apartment, but getting around on public transportation with the amount of stuff I take is not possible.
Damaged Love Page 18
